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Seinfeld Transcripts
- nihlaak 3y agoThere's some code for parsing all Seinfeld scripts and putting them into a SQLite database [1] here. [1]: https://github.com/colinpollock/seinfeld-scripts https://github.com/colinpollock/seinfeld-scripts
- neilv 3y agoIIRC, Seinfeld scripts have a very distinct style. Would be interesting to see whether an LLM can mimic it as well as some humans can.
- slig 3y agoThey can. There used to be a very nice animation with text to speech mimicking Seinfeld episodes.
- gregsadetsky 3y agohttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing,_Forever https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing,_Forever It’s technically back, but “with a new cast of characters and an original format different from that of Seinfeld” …
- kyleyeats 3y agoI use the "A Seinfeld script about..." prompt as a test on my AI-site-generation project. It is really great at it (ChatGPT-3.5). There are definitely some misses but it's generally hilarious.
- davidw 3y agoJerry: So, George, I heard you found this AI-generated Seinfeld script. What's the deal with that? George: Oh, Jerry, it's amazing! You won't believe it. This AI claims to have generated a brand new Seinfeld episode, using all the data from the original series. I had to check it out. Jerry: Well, I gotta say, I'm intrigued. Let's hear it. What's the plot? George: Alright, here it goes. Kramer gets his hands on a new AI virtual assistant that starts mimicking his personality. Meanwhile, Elaine starts dating a tech-savvy guy who believes algorithms can predict the future. Jerry: Alright, alright. It's got some potential. Keep going. George: Well, eventually, the virtual assistant Kramer has starts causing all sorts of trouble. It becomes this annoying, exaggerated version of Kramer, taking his quirks to the extreme. Jerry: So, basically, Kramer is competing with himself? That sounds like a real stretch, George. George: I know, Jerry, but just listen. So, the assistant starts booking hair appointments for Kramer's famous wild hairstyles, signing him up for strange hobbies, and even ordering ridiculous items online. It's chaos! Jerry: I don't know, George. It sounds a bit forced. Like they're just trying to recreate Kramer's wacky antics without any real substance. George: Well, that's not all. The tech-savvy guy Elaine is dating starts using algorithms to predict everything from the stock market to their relationship. He's constantly consulting his phone, calculating probabilities and making decisions based on data. Jerry: I don't know about you, George, but I prefer a little spontaneity in my relationships. Sounds like Elaine is dating a walking spreadsheet. George: Exactly! That's what I said. But the AI script takes it to the extreme. Eventually, the guy starts relying on algorithms for everything, even deciding what to eat and wear. Jerry: So, he's outsourcing his decision-making to a computer? That's just lazy, George. I thought Elaine had better taste. George: I agree, Jerry. It's like they're trying to cram every tech trend into one episode. It's too much! Jerry: It sounds like they're sacrificing the characters' authenticity just to explore these AI and tech themes. That's not what Seinfeld was about. It was about everyday life, not gimmicks. George: That's what I've been saying, Jerry! This AI-generated script is trying too hard. It's missing the heart and soul of Seinfeld. Jerry: Well, George, I guess it's safe to say that even AI can't capture the magic of our show. Seinfeld was a product of our comedic chemistry, not algorithms. George: You're right, Jerry. Nothing can replace the real thing. We created something special, and no AI can replicate that. Jerry: Exactly. So, let's leave the AI-generated scripts to the robots and stick to what we do best—being funny in our own unique way. George: Agreed, Jerry. Our humor is organic, not artificially intelligent. Jerry: That's the spirit, George. Now let's go find some real-life material for our next stand-up gigs. The world is our Seinfeld episode! George: Absolutely, Jerry. And remember, if we can't find material, we can always make fun of the AI-generated script. Jerry: Ah, that's a good backup plan. Let's go, George. The comedy world awaits!
- davidw 3y agoI find that it gets a bit too cutesy with its endings. Seinfeld was never a "gosh, we learned something today" show; quite the contrary.
- msla 3y agoYeah, the whole point of Seinfeld was the point of No Exit: If these were better people, they could leave their Hell and move on, but they're not, so they're stuck with each other. For them, "Hell is other people" in that they choose to be with the ones who torment them the most, and who they torment the most, because they lack the capacity to choose otherwise.
- kyleyeats 3y agoThe key is token-starving it so it can't ever write that ending.
- conradfr 3y agoYes the show moto was "no hugging, no learning"
- jpm_sd 3y agoThis is so delightfully web 1.0
- mtlynch 3y agoHow are these generated? They seem to have errors that neither a computer nor a English-speaking human would make. They're sort of like how a child or a person unfamiliar with English might try to transcribe words they don't recognize: >Dugan: That's Sam, the new girl in the counting. ... >Sam: Everybody told what a catty shrude you are. Your horrible! https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSummerofGeorge.htm https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSummerofGeorge.htm
- geuis 3y agoWhy do you think these are generated? As far as I can tell this isn't a parody site. The domain was registered in 2003 and the design clearly reflects that era. Not everything is AI today.
- Jtsummers 3y ago> Why do you think these are generated? They mean the transcription not the general content. "shrude" ("shrewd"), "in the counting" (probably "in accounting"), and other transcription errors occur in that linked script, as examples. There also appear to be missing words in some lines.
- mtlynch 3y agoThe word they transcribed as "shrude" was actually "shrew."
- wodenokoto 3y agoWas it generated from humans transcribing the episodes? Was it import and clean up of subtitles? Was it generated from reformatting the manuscript? Not everything generated is AI
- xattt 3y agoI would guess this is fan-transcribed. Simpsons Archive has full episode scripts up compiled from Usenet posts (1). (1) https://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/2F20.html https://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/2F20.html
- billforsternz 3y agoI love this. I picked one at random https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCigarStoreIndian.htm https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCigarStoreIndian.htm I haven't seen this one, but it's great. The characters are so familiar you can construct the whole thing perfectly in your head, now I don't really need to see it. Although I can't picture Elaine's apartment. Was that a regular set? The script is put together like a Swiss watch. Every line fits perfectly in place. Kudos to the craftsmen involved.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- atlanta90210 3y agoMaybe the downloadable text of the script was generated by OCR with minor errors?
- billforsternz 3y agoWas this intended as a reply to me? OCR errors aren't going to broaden the range of sets used!
- code_runner 3y agoI think Elaine had a couple of apartments! Kramer helped her with the car next door once. Anything with puddy. I think the keys episode and of course sponge worthy!!
- PrimeMcFly 3y agoReading the transcript still isn't close to actually seeing the episode. Is this some sort of younger trend, like people who watch 30 minute movie summary videos and then say they don't need to watch the movie?
- billforsternz 3y agoWell I'm 62 but anyway. I mean I know what you're saying but I can hear and see the voices and expressions in my mind's eye perfectly, because the show has a consistent style. When Jerry is struggling with "reservation" and "scalper" I know the facial expressions he'd use. Otherwise it's all about the dialogue so I feel I'm 75% of the way there. It's a long way from Wikipedia's plot summaries for beloved movies; Eg Die Hard 3, the incredible 10 minutes roller coaster slalom through Manhattan is rendered as "McCain and Zeus travel to the Wall Street subway station". Something like that.
- wilg 3y agoThese are transcripts, not the actual ”teleplays”, FYI.
- crazygringo 3y agoYeah, I've actually never seen this type of "script" before. It's absolutely not the original shooting scripts. Multicam sitcom scripts have a very specific style of formatting, and these are just missing details they would contain in terms of scene descriptions, etc. But this also isn't just a transcript of subtitles or closed captioning. It's full of things like: > KRAMER: [glues the article back with his own saliva and puts the magazine back on the table] When you're done, let me know. > % Jerry shows Elaine some movie from the Adult section that's probably % called "The Sperminator", or something... So fans transcribed these and then tried to fill in the visual details as well? What a labor of love. I'm curious if there's a specific term or name for this type of transcription-with-visual-details.
- fathyb 3y agoIt reads like audio description: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audio_description https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audio_description
- dang 3y agoOk, we've added trans to the scripts in the title above. Thanks! p.s. Makes me wonder what the difference is between the scripts and the transcripts...
- geuis 3y agoJust an fyi based on the other comments. This isn't some funny AI generated script site. These are actual scripts from the archive of the show.
- PrimeMcFly 3y agoNot to be rude, but why are you summarizing/repeating other comments on a post with only ~30 comments?
- bitL 3y agoJust watched the first two seasons of Friends and the first season of Seinfeld (never seen them before so a trip to the past) and Seinfeld is so much more intelligent and Friends so shallow and boring (outside some Joey gimmicks). Is there any such show with playful intelligent humor as Seinfeld these days?
- ttymck 3y agoWhat We Do In The Shadows and The Righteous Gemstones are the only shows that come to mind. Certainly neither is as broadly observant as Seinfeld was. Curb Your Enthusiasm might be the easy answer.
- samstave 3y agoShadows and enthusiasm +++ Will need to check out gemstones
- quechimba 3y agoCurb Your Enthusiasm. Took a while for me to get into it but it's really good. :)
- social_quotient 3y agoThe camera rocking around made it really tough for me but I love the show. I wish there was a stabilizer feature for some shows like this. I know it was an artistic choice but…
- theturtletalks 3y agoI felt the same way with Succession. The camera constantly moving felt “off.”
- sdwr 3y agoI keep coming back to: - 30 rock - arrested development - curb your enthusiasm and - jake and amir - joel haver - brian david gilbert all in short clips on youtube
- thejazzman 3y agoYou can also access every quote/meme from the show at https://carpeme.me/ https://carpeme.me/ Pretty much my favorite thing on the internet. Link unfurling in iMessages and everything. (Or whatever app you're using that has unfurling)
- ricktdotorg 3y agoobligatory mention of the Vandelay Industries slack app[1]. usage is: /vandelay <seinfeld dialog you're looking for>. it returns an animated gif of the scene & dialog you searched for (if it exists). details about how it was made here[2] but the TL;dr is that the entire Seinfeld catalog were in MKV, the subs were extracted, then the sub time ranges were looped through and animated gifs were made. then the whole lot made searchable. it's a great slack app. code here[3]. [1] https://vandelayindustries.online/ https://vandelayindustries.online/ [2] https://medium.com/free-code-camp/unfundable-slack-bots-9369a75fdd https://medium.com/free-code-camp/unfundable-slack-bots-9369... [3] https://github.com/bertrandom/vandelayindustries-slack-server https://github.com/bertrandom/vandelayindustries-slack-serve... (edited for clarity & added github url)
- mbg721 3y agoThere is also the subreddit /r/redditwritesseinfeld for unofficial addenda.
- quechimba 3y agoThis website is great. I'm a huge Seinfeld fan and it's really good for finding quotes from the show. I got all episodes in my phone so I can watch Seinfeld wherever I am even if there's no internet. Good to have when traveling
- aaron695 3y ago[dead]
- endorphine 3y agoIs anyone else bothered by the fact that Jerry Seinfeld many times seems to be smiling in a "this scene is so funny I can't hold on not to laugh" way? I mean, some scenes would be more convincing/funny if he looked more serious. This still strikes me as weird. Has this been discussed somewhere (I would surprised if not, perhaps I should ask GPT4)? Do we know why this happens?
- hifromLA 3y agoI’ve always felt jerry is the worst part of Seinfeld. Larry David is the brains as evidenced by CYE and the other actors outshined Jerry.
- dreamcompiler 3y agoJerry's not much of an actor and that's why he's the straight man. IIRC he has said he chose this role on purpose.
- hifromLA 3y agoThat’s a fair point. I can accept that he does a good job in that role.
- spaceman_2020 3y agoLarry David is a little too neurotic to be mainstream. Curb is hilarious but it’s a little too abrasive to hit 70M viewers. Larry David needs a Seinfeld to rein him in. Sometimes, genius needs moderation. Always felt Seinfeld was that moderating influence.
- 2-718-281-828 3y ago> Curb is hilarious but it’s a little too abrasive to hit 70M viewers. My ex could barely watch more than one episode a day because she felt overwhelmed by the Fremdscham. I otoh thrive on that. It also helps that I seriously feel that Larry is actually acting totally reasonable, though clumsy. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Fremdscham https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Fremdscham
- Gatsky 3y agoReading this makes you realise how much of what makes Seinfeld good is in the skillful delivery. I wonder how much they would have to rehearse to get it spot on.
- irrational 3y agoLooks like they need a spell checker. "Apron" is spelled "aprin" in the "muffin tops" episode.
- remarkEon 3y agoSurprised someone hasn't posted this yet, but some guy named Billy Domineau (who I guess wrote/writes for SNL) wrote a spec script for a Seinfeld episode that takes place surrounding the events of 9/11, and it does not disappoint. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/911-seinfeld-september-11_n_57a4b78ae4b056bad2155208 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/911-seinfeld-september-11_n_5...
- barbs 3y agoI read this ages ago but had forgotten about it. Thanks for bringing this back into my life, absolutely brilliant.
- spaceman_2020 3y agoSeinfeld’s real genius was always the way the script managed to tie together multiple storylines into a cohesive whole. The best example is probably the Marine Biologist episode. You could have never predicted that there would be any connection between golf balls and whales.
- bombastry 3y agoThe amazing thing is even the writers didn’t know that episode was going to end that way until the night before they shot the ending. Here’s Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld talking about it: https://youtu.be/uZPSO4yte8k https://youtu.be/uZPSO4yte8k
- boomerango 3y agoThank you for sharing this - you made my morning.
- stbtrax 3y agoIf you like that type of writing, the British Comedy ‘Coupling’ does the multiple story lines coalescing quite well. IMO even better than Seinfeld.
- oska 3y agoI checked out this show on yr recommendation. I usually much prefer British tv to US American tv but on this occasion I found the British show vastly inferior. I found Coupling to be crass, unfunny and tedious. I also didn't find it doing what was the subject of discussion here - bringing multiple story lines together in an amusing and clever way.
- ConradKilroy 3y agoCoupling >> Seinfeld I cannot agree more.
- fauigerzigerk 3y agoSo glad I funded this with my licence fee. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to buy it from Amazon now.
- quickthrower2 3y agoFunny just to read!
- dctoedt 3y agoIn class, when I mention Seinfeld, or for that matter, Friends, to illustrate a point, many of my students (law students, mostly in their early- to mid-20s) barely know what I'm talking about. You can imagine how my pop-culture references from the '60s and '70s sail right over their heads. (When that happens, I use the occasion to joke about my old-fart status.)
- mbg721 3y agoHow much of the Beatles do they recognize?
- dctoedt 3y ago> How much of the Beatles do they recognize? Generally speaking, many of my students appear to know (vaguely) who the Beatles were, but that seems to be about it.
- adzm 3y agoConversely, I know teenagers that know every line from Seinfeld and every Beatles song. They are iconic and referenced often on TikTok.
- watmough 3y agoYep my 13 year old will often pop her head round the door wondering about how dad is listening to a song she's heard sampled on TikTok or some crazy video. Apparently, there's a bunch of The Smiths songs living multiple lives in the new world of the TikTok / short-attention span / ADHDNet. On a script-related note, I spent a bunch of time back in the day reading through these: http://www.lysator.liu.se/~kjell-e/tekla/red-dwarf/scripts.html http://www.lysator.liu.se/~kjell-e/tekla/red-dwarf/scripts.h...
- massysett 3y agoI was listening to the 1980s radio station when I realized that 1980s music right now is older than 1950s "oldies" music was when I was a kid - and when I was a kid that stuff seemed ancient - relics of the days of black-and-white television and a segregated South. What seems like yesterday to an older person happened before a younger person was even born.
- pachico 3y agoThis looks like gold for a project that would create scripts via LLM