13 ms·

Yeah, just wait till you're in your fifties and feel like you're also running out of time to do things! For example: "how many more growing seasons do I have to

Yeah, just wait till you're in your fifties and feel like you're also running out of time to do things! For example: "how many more growing seasons do I have to try this or that tomato" or "should I learn Spanish?". On the plus side kids are out of your hair.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
sharemywin 3y ago
or you waited until you were 40 to have kids.
- myth_drannon 3y ago
  Robert De Niro just had his 7th and he is 79. So not everything is lost if you didn't have a chance in you 40's...
  - mrguyorama 3y ago
    Ah yes we are all as wealthy and have the same resources as a famous hollywood actor. The physical act of creating a child is so easy many people do it by accident. Raising a child is an enormous task.
    - mattpallissard 3y ago
      > Ah yes we are all as wealthy and have the same resources as a famous hollywood actor. People from all walks of life have been raising children since, well, forever. Rich, poor, smart, dumb; nearly everyone figures it out.
      - mrguyorama 3y ago
        Pretending that all those people have had equal success, or that poorer parents don't have a significantly worse time of it than more affluent groups is not helpful. There is A LOT of child neglect here in the states, and plenty of children literally do not make it out alive.
        mattpallissard 3y ago
        True. It's also true that most children aren't neglected. The point I'm trying to make is most people raise most children decently in most circumstances. That you don't need to be rich to do so.
        AndrewKemendo 3y ago
        As a dad of three I fully agree
    - zwieback 3y ago
      Vaguely related anecdote, an acquaintance was playing with his kids at a playground in Central Park and ended up chatting with DeNiro on a parkbench for an hour. My buddy had no idea who he was talking to, which apparently was refreshing enough for DeNiro that he proposed setting up a playdate (which didn't happen though).
- r00fus 3y ago
  Even if you decided to pull the trigger at 33 (closer to median age), your 17yo + younger siblings are still taking 80% of your non-work free time (assuming you haven't outsourced that). IMHO Kids aren't really "adults" till about 27-30 given the complexity of society. If you happen to have special needs kids, they will take even longer.
yamtaddle 3y ago
At some point it dawns on you that unless you make some special effort, you're only gonna see your favorite movie or listen to your favorite album or eat your very favorite food or see such-and-such person or go to [place you really like] a disturbingly small count of times before you kick it.
- 52-6F-62 3y ago
  Good point. I listen to my favourite albums basically on repeat. I sometimes feel like I've grown closed-minded—but I like your perspective better. Gonna go with that.
- SeanAnderson 3y ago
  http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html Exceptionally relevant :)
- geodel 3y ago
  True. At least for me I will say that disturbingly small number is probably good enough for practical purposes. All favorite thing, people, food are just snapshots in memory and revisiting them in physical world did not feel as great as my mind imagined. I tried a few of those past favorite things and they were fine but nothing like best moments or some such. Same with people, neither they nor I am same person as before.
- asdff 3y ago
  This is what is so depressing about going through different life stages too. You make friends most of the time because you happen to be around these people all day. Coworkers, schoolmates, neighbors, relatives, etc. Its tough to keep that up through your life when the reason for you all being at a place consistently disappears too. Even visits a few times a year feel pretty forced and packed in, when you consider how few hours will be spent conversing during that visit versus in past times when your lives overlapped.
Scubabear68 3y ago
My 11 and 15 year olds would like to have a word with you.
FredPret 3y ago
As an adult second-language learner, my advice is not to even bother learning a second language unless you have to, or would love to. You can get proficient quickly, but much of the language's beauty will lie in the subtleties which will take decades of effort to learn. And there's the accent, which you'll never lose. The best time to learn a language is between 0 and 10 y.o.
- zwieback 3y ago
  I'm German and have lived in the US for the past 30 years, still have traces of an accent. I don't care, though, having a Germlish accent in Spanish wouldn't stop me from chatting up all the Spanish speakers around me.
- sureglymop 3y ago
  I would disagree. You might already know a language that is very similar to another language because they stem from the same proto-language. Then it won't be that hard to learn. And many times the more you know it will help you with other languages. If you know French and English you'll probably have a pleasant time learning Spanish. You can get the subtleties by interacting with locals, and with the internet you can do that online. There are apps for language exchange and you literally choose a location and start to chat and talk with people from there and you'll also get cultural aspects. It's just important to immerse yourself. But I think it's incredibly rewarding to learn a language for the sheer amount of new content you get to consume, be it books, television, music, etc. You get to explore a whole new territory of things and culture which is amazing at any age. I guess whether the accent matters is a personal thing, personally I don't mind an accent. I'm not trying to imitate a local and change my whole identity, I'm trying to understand and be able to communicate.
  - FredPret 3y ago
    OK, so then you fall into the love it category. For people who already know English and aren't super into linguistics like you, the answer to "should I learn to speak x" is no.
- allarm 3y ago
tasuki 3y ago
> On the plus side kids are out of your hair. That almost sounds like you did not really enjoy raising your kids? I find that's a taboo thing to say, and if that's what you meant, I appreciate you saying so.
- zwieback 3y ago
  Hmm, maybe a bit too black and white, there are good and bad times. What I'm surprised to find out is how much I enjoy having more time and less drama around the house. And less clutter.
- dudul 3y ago
  So it's either having kids is 100% amazing all the time or you hated having them? Like most things in life, there is a middle ground you know.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

sharemywin 3y ago

or you waited until you were 40 to have kids.

myth_drannon 3y ago
Robert De Niro just had his 7th and he is 79. So not everything is lost if you didn't have a chance in you 40's...
- mrguyorama 3y ago
  Ah yes we are all as wealthy and have the same resources as a famous hollywood actor. The physical act of creating a child is so easy many people do it by accident. Raising a child is an enormous task.
  - mattpallissard 3y ago
    > Ah yes we are all as wealthy and have the same resources as a famous hollywood actor. People from all walks of life have been raising children since, well, forever. Rich, poor, smart, dumb; nearly everyone figures it out.
    - mrguyorama 3y ago
      Pretending that all those people have had equal success, or that poorer parents don't have a significantly worse time of it than more affluent groups is not helpful. There is A LOT of child neglect here in the states, and plenty of children literally do not make it out alive.
      - mattpallissard 3y ago
        True. It's also true that most children aren't neglected. The point I'm trying to make is most people raise most children decently in most circumstances. That you don't need to be rich to do so.
        AndrewKemendo 3y ago
        As a dad of three I fully agree
  - zwieback 3y ago
    Vaguely related anecdote, an acquaintance was playing with his kids at a playground in Central Park and ended up chatting with DeNiro on a parkbench for an hour. My buddy had no idea who he was talking to, which apparently was refreshing enough for DeNiro that he proposed setting up a playdate (which didn't happen though).
r00fus 3y ago
Even if you decided to pull the trigger at 33 (closer to median age), your 17yo + younger siblings are still taking 80% of your non-work free time (assuming you haven't outsourced that). IMHO Kids aren't really "adults" till about 27-30 given the complexity of society. If you happen to have special needs kids, they will take even longer.

yamtaddle 3y ago

At some point it dawns on you that unless you make some special effort, you're only gonna see your favorite movie or listen to your favorite album or eat your very favorite food or see such-and-such person or go to [place you really like] a disturbingly small count of times before you kick it.

52-6F-62 3y ago
Good point. I listen to my favourite albums basically on repeat. I sometimes feel like I've grown closed-minded—but I like your perspective better. Gonna go with that.
SeanAnderson 3y ago
http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html Exceptionally relevant :)
geodel 3y ago
True. At least for me I will say that disturbingly small number is probably good enough for practical purposes. All favorite thing, people, food are just snapshots in memory and revisiting them in physical world did not feel as great as my mind imagined. I tried a few of those past favorite things and they were fine but nothing like best moments or some such. Same with people, neither they nor I am same person as before.
asdff 3y ago
This is what is so depressing about going through different life stages too. You make friends most of the time because you happen to be around these people all day. Coworkers, schoolmates, neighbors, relatives, etc. Its tough to keep that up through your life when the reason for you all being at a place consistently disappears too. Even visits a few times a year feel pretty forced and packed in, when you consider how few hours will be spent conversing during that visit versus in past times when your lives overlapped.

Scubabear68 3y ago

My 11 and 15 year olds would like to have a word with you.

FredPret 3y ago

As an adult second-language learner, my advice is not to even bother learning a second language unless you have to, or would love to. You can get proficient quickly, but much of the language's beauty will lie in the subtleties which will take decades of effort to learn. And there's the accent, which you'll never lose. The best time to learn a language is between 0 and 10 y.o.

zwieback 3y ago
I'm German and have lived in the US for the past 30 years, still have traces of an accent. I don't care, though, having a Germlish accent in Spanish wouldn't stop me from chatting up all the Spanish speakers around me.
sureglymop 3y ago
I would disagree. You might already know a language that is very similar to another language because they stem from the same proto-language. Then it won't be that hard to learn. And many times the more you know it will help you with other languages. If you know French and English you'll probably have a pleasant time learning Spanish. You can get the subtleties by interacting with locals, and with the internet you can do that online. There are apps for language exchange and you literally choose a location and start to chat and talk with people from there and you'll also get cultural aspects. It's just important to immerse yourself. But I think it's incredibly rewarding to learn a language for the sheer amount of new content you get to consume, be it books, television, music, etc. You get to explore a whole new territory of things and culture which is amazing at any age. I guess whether the accent matters is a personal thing, personally I don't mind an accent. I'm not trying to imitate a local and change my whole identity, I'm trying to understand and be able to communicate.
- FredPret 3y ago
  OK, so then you fall into the love it category. For people who already know English and aren't super into linguistics like you, the answer to "should I learn to speak x" is no.
allarm 3y ago

tasuki 3y ago

> On the plus side kids are out of your hair. That almost sounds like you did not really enjoy raising your kids? I find that's a taboo thing to say, and if that's what you meant, I appreciate you saying so.

zwieback 3y ago
Hmm, maybe a bit too black and white, there are good and bad times. What I'm surprised to find out is how much I enjoy having more time and less drama around the house. And less clutter.
dudul 3y ago
So it's either having kids is 100% amazing all the time or you hated having them? Like most things in life, there is a middle ground you know.