7 ms·

Potentially controversial view: until kids get to high school, and if they're good students anyway, just have them skip school for a week and go on a trip. They

Potentially controversial view: until kids get to high school, and if they're good students anyway, just have them skip school for a week and go on a trip. They're likely not missing anything important in one week of schooling. For example, I'm definitely not figuring my son's grade 2 timelines into my travel plans. He loves school and everything, but he can skip it for a week somewhere if that literally saves the family thousands.

sdwr 3y ago
Jesus yes.
disgruntledphd2 3y ago
The trouble with this approach is that it only works because basically nobody does it, so there'll be no kids around his age there to play with. That might be an acceptable tradeoff for you, but it's worth knowing about beforehand.
- hombre_fatal 3y ago
  I don't get the scenario you're imagining. Each friend goes away for a week 1-2 times per school year and that's somehow catastrophic?
  - incone123 3y ago
    I take it to mean no other children at the holiday destination to play with
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
  - chimeracoder 3y ago
    > I don't get the scenario you're imagining. Each friend goes away for a week 1-2 times per school year and that's somehow catastrophic? No, they're saying that there's nobody else for them to play with while on vacation. Some people, particularly with younger kids, plan vacations that have some sort of child care component to them, which gives the kid opportunity to socialize with other kids their own age (and also gives the parent some free time to do things that they can't do while taking care of their kids). Some hotels offer this as part of the package, as do cruise ships, etc.
    - hombre_fatal 3y ago
      I see, because it's not on holiday. Wouldn't everyone doing this make it more likely that your kid meets a playmate, then? If I have two strikes after this comment, I'll just see myself out.
      - chimeracoder 3y ago
        > I see, because it's not on holiday. Wouldn't everyone doing this make it more likely that your kid meets a playmate, then? Currently, everyone with kids takes vacations at the same time. That means that all kids go on vacation at the same time, so whenever they're on vacation, there are likely to be lots of other kids there. If everyone with kids took vacations at staggered times, fewer kids would be on vacation at any given time, meaning whenever they're on vacation, there are likely to be fewer kids there. That is the tradeoff that OP is referring to.
        hombre_fatal 3y ago
        That makes sense. I hope OP learned their lesson. I demand spoonfeeding.
        disgruntledphd2 3y ago
        I'll remember that in future ;) More generally, if you have a small child, the probability of sleep deprivation is pretty high, so i should have taken that into account.
- mattgreenrocks 3y ago
  > there'll be no kids around his age there to play with So, like every other trip ever that doesn't involve meeting people we know?
munificent 3y ago
We did that for a while when they were in elementary school, but by the time you get to middle school, it's much harder. The kids start to have long-term group projects that are a significant part of their grade. Lessons become more linear where missing a step means you can get lost further in. Thankfully, school systems do tend to stagger their spring breaks so at least there's some variation there.
- carlosjobim 3y ago
  Grades mean nothing in middle school. You passed through middle school, so how can you not know this?
  - munificent 3y ago
    You're thinking of the children as objects and not people. Grades and school projects mean a lot to my kids and one of the most important things I'm trying to teach them right now is to have a sense of responsibility and respect for their own work and commitments.
    - carlosjobim 3y ago
      Fair enough, nothing wrong with prioritizing it for the sake of the kid - not for the sake of the school.
  - wing-_-nuts 3y ago
    Grades might not mean anything, but the knowledge is foundational and really starts to build from middle school onward.
    - ghaff 3y ago
      I skipped an entire year of middle school (8th grade), spent a few weeks studying a bit, and it was fine.
      - 3y ago
benjaminpv 3y ago
Absolutely this. My parents would take an impromptu vacation toward the tail end of winter and every time they basically just told the school 'we're leaving, give him the homework he'll be missing, end communication.' Years later I was having dinner with a coworker and his teacher wife and explained it to her. "Yeah we'd go to like science exhibits and museums and all, it was really fun!" She was just aghast. Like 'y-you can't just t-take kids out of school?!'
- ghaff 3y ago
  It occurred to me probably years later that there were a ton of things my parents did with respect to my brother and I growing up were, at a minimum, quite unconventional.
- antisthenes 3y ago
  > Years later I was having dinner with a coworker and his teacher wife and explained it to her. "Yeah we'd go to like science exhibits and museums and all, it was really fun!" She was just aghast. Like 'y-you can't just t-take kids out of school?!' Some people treat their job as if it's the most important thing in the world, to everyone. Dentists still can't realize that flossing isn't everyone's #1 priority every single day :P
lozenge 3y ago
In the UK, people do this, but it can result in fines and being taken to court. Schools are measured by their attendance, and parents want to maintain good relations with the school staff, so there's that aspect as well.
fhub 3y ago
At least for me my thinking is often "Well if I'm going to take time off work to fill the childcare gap then I'd prefer to to go on some adventure with them".
arbitrage 3y ago
In some localities it is illegal to do this. Also, schooling for younger children isn't exclusively about the obtaining of actionable knowledge. For some children, it can be disruptive to yank them out of school. Other families might have a problem that this teaches their children the lesson of "rules for thee, but not for me" --- that it can be okay to ignore rules just because you don't want to follow them. That isn't something that everyone is okay with.
- kspacewalk2 3y ago
  >In some localities it is illegal to do this. Can you elaborate, so I can strike them off my to-move list forever? >Also, schooling for younger children isn't exclusively about the obtaining of actionable knowledge. For some children, it can be disruptive to yank them out of school. Yes. Your child-mileage may vary. My kid doesn't care, one week out of school does not impact him negatively, whereas travel impacts him positively. >this teaches their children the lesson of "rules for thee, but not for me" --- that it can be okay to ignore rules just because you don't want to follow them. They can then take great care to ensure the kids understand that this is not, in fact, the lesson. My kid doesn't attend school because "that's the rule, gotta go to school", he enjoys it for the social and the learning aspect, so his showing up to class does not rest upon compulsion either by the parents or the school. If this ever changes, I'll deal with that then. Also, it is of course completely okay to ignore rules you do not think of as important if there are no consequences to breaking them. My responsibility as a parent is to carefully curate the consequences bit to ensure I only enforce non-stupid rules. I want my kids to learn that too.
scythe 3y ago
This is what my family did in the '90s. In the beginning, it was easy: we handed the teachers a note and we were on our way. As I got older, the school was less cooperative, and focused on boosting attendance statistics. The ability of parents to request excused absences slowly declined. Just another casualty of Goodhart's law, it would seem.
- kspacewalk2 3y ago
  My school simply gets informed via the School Messenger app. Reason: "Parent-approved absence". End of story.

sdwr 3y ago

Jesus yes.

disgruntledphd2 3y ago

The trouble with this approach is that it only works because basically nobody does it, so there'll be no kids around his age there to play with. That might be an acceptable tradeoff for you, but it's worth knowing about beforehand.

hombre_fatal 3y ago
I don't get the scenario you're imagining. Each friend goes away for a week 1-2 times per school year and that's somehow catastrophic?
- incone123 3y ago
  I take it to mean no other children at the holiday destination to play with
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
- chimeracoder 3y ago
  > I don't get the scenario you're imagining. Each friend goes away for a week 1-2 times per school year and that's somehow catastrophic? No, they're saying that there's nobody else for them to play with while on vacation. Some people, particularly with younger kids, plan vacations that have some sort of child care component to them, which gives the kid opportunity to socialize with other kids their own age (and also gives the parent some free time to do things that they can't do while taking care of their kids). Some hotels offer this as part of the package, as do cruise ships, etc.
  - hombre_fatal 3y ago
    I see, because it's not on holiday. Wouldn't everyone doing this make it more likely that your kid meets a playmate, then? If I have two strikes after this comment, I'll just see myself out.
    - chimeracoder 3y ago
      > I see, because it's not on holiday. Wouldn't everyone doing this make it more likely that your kid meets a playmate, then? Currently, everyone with kids takes vacations at the same time. That means that all kids go on vacation at the same time, so whenever they're on vacation, there are likely to be lots of other kids there. If everyone with kids took vacations at staggered times, fewer kids would be on vacation at any given time, meaning whenever they're on vacation, there are likely to be fewer kids there. That is the tradeoff that OP is referring to.
      - hombre_fatal 3y ago
        That makes sense. I hope OP learned their lesson. I demand spoonfeeding.
        disgruntledphd2 3y ago
        I'll remember that in future ;) More generally, if you have a small child, the probability of sleep deprivation is pretty high, so i should have taken that into account.
mattgreenrocks 3y ago
> there'll be no kids around his age there to play with So, like every other trip ever that doesn't involve meeting people we know?

munificent 3y ago

We did that for a while when they were in elementary school, but by the time you get to middle school, it's much harder. The kids start to have long-term group projects that are a significant part of their grade. Lessons become more linear where missing a step means you can get lost further in. Thankfully, school systems do tend to stagger their spring breaks so at least there's some variation there.

carlosjobim 3y ago
Grades mean nothing in middle school. You passed through middle school, so how can you not know this?
- munificent 3y ago
  You're thinking of the children as objects and not people. Grades and school projects mean a lot to my kids and one of the most important things I'm trying to teach them right now is to have a sense of responsibility and respect for their own work and commitments.
  - carlosjobim 3y ago
    Fair enough, nothing wrong with prioritizing it for the sake of the kid - not for the sake of the school.
- wing-_-nuts 3y ago
  Grades might not mean anything, but the knowledge is foundational and really starts to build from middle school onward.
  - ghaff 3y ago
    I skipped an entire year of middle school (8th grade), spent a few weeks studying a bit, and it was fine.
    - 3y ago

benjaminpv 3y ago

Absolutely this. My parents would take an impromptu vacation toward the tail end of winter and every time they basically just told the school 'we're leaving, give him the homework he'll be missing, end communication.' Years later I was having dinner with a coworker and his teacher wife and explained it to her. "Yeah we'd go to like science exhibits and museums and all, it was really fun!" She was just aghast. Like 'y-you can't just t-take kids out of school?!'

ghaff 3y ago
It occurred to me probably years later that there were a ton of things my parents did with respect to my brother and I growing up were, at a minimum, quite unconventional.
antisthenes 3y ago
> Years later I was having dinner with a coworker and his teacher wife and explained it to her. "Yeah we'd go to like science exhibits and museums and all, it was really fun!" She was just aghast. Like 'y-you can't just t-take kids out of school?!' Some people treat their job as if it's the most important thing in the world, to everyone. Dentists still can't realize that flossing isn't everyone's #1 priority every single day :P

lozenge 3y ago

In the UK, people do this, but it can result in fines and being taken to court. Schools are measured by their attendance, and parents want to maintain good relations with the school staff, so there's that aspect as well.

fhub 3y ago

At least for me my thinking is often "Well if I'm going to take time off work to fill the childcare gap then I'd prefer to to go on some adventure with them".

arbitrage 3y ago

In some localities it is illegal to do this. Also, schooling for younger children isn't exclusively about the obtaining of actionable knowledge. For some children, it can be disruptive to yank them out of school. Other families might have a problem that this teaches their children the lesson of "rules for thee, but not for me" --- that it can be okay to ignore rules just because you don't want to follow them. That isn't something that everyone is okay with.

kspacewalk2 3y ago
>In some localities it is illegal to do this. Can you elaborate, so I can strike them off my to-move list forever? >Also, schooling for younger children isn't exclusively about the obtaining of actionable knowledge. For some children, it can be disruptive to yank them out of school. Yes. Your child-mileage may vary. My kid doesn't care, one week out of school does not impact him negatively, whereas travel impacts him positively. >this teaches their children the lesson of "rules for thee, but not for me" --- that it can be okay to ignore rules just because you don't want to follow them. They can then take great care to ensure the kids understand that this is not, in fact, the lesson. My kid doesn't attend school because "that's the rule, gotta go to school", he enjoys it for the social and the learning aspect, so his showing up to class does not rest upon compulsion either by the parents or the school. If this ever changes, I'll deal with that then. Also, it is of course completely okay to ignore rules you do not think of as important if there are no consequences to breaking them. My responsibility as a parent is to carefully curate the consequences bit to ensure I only enforce non-stupid rules. I want my kids to learn that too.

scythe 3y ago

This is what my family did in the '90s. In the beginning, it was easy: we handed the teachers a note and we were on our way. As I got older, the school was less cooperative, and focused on boosting attendance statistics. The ability of parents to request excused absences slowly declined. Just another casualty of Goodhart's law, it would seem.

kspacewalk2 3y ago
My school simply gets informed via the School Messenger app. Reason: "Parent-approved absence". End of story.