4 ms·

This is one of several standard reactions to people spending money. Jealousy, Envy, Disgust, Pity, Ambivalence. It's why people of the same social class tend to

This is one of several standard reactions to people spending money. Jealousy, Envy, Disgust, Pity, Ambivalence. It's why people of the same social class tend to gravitate toward one another. While everyone is different regarding money, people of the same social class who have been in that position for a while seem to have similar reactions.

steveBK123 3y ago
There's also a weird thing of like adjacent class envy more than large gaps. Kind of a Narcissism of small differences thing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_differences https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_difference...) At the extreme- Few people are personally envious of Jeff Bezos having a nicer house/car/boat/vacation. But the way some people in my small middle class hometown react to someone who lives in the same town/hood, kids going to same school driving a $40k car when they drive a $25k car is kind of comically deranged.
- Aeolun 3y ago
  I’ve heard this from so many people, and I just do not see how it matters in practical terms. A car has four wheels and an engine. Other than that, as long as it’s safe and functional, why care what it costs?
  - steveBK123 3y ago
    humans are irrational, emotional, illogical beings.. what does practical terms have to do with it?
  - hgsgm 3y ago
    It's a waste of money that could be helping people.
    - bongoman37 3y ago
      [dead]
  - digging 3y ago
    It's signalling.
- digging 3y ago
  This makes sense to me. I came from the service industry to tech. I tripled my income in a couple years and was very satisfied. Then a coworker got a promotion that I felt I deserved, and started making more than me. This coworker came from a different background and had always been "ahead" of me financially. But suddenly, there was a very tangible gap between us. It could have been me, I thought. I could have that so easily. And I was not satisfied with my pay. I found a new job. (I no longer care that much. I know that wages are essentially more unfair than fair.)
- vidarh 3y ago
  Going from $25k to $40k for a car seems within reach and they don't see how that person that they see does anything different that makes the difference justified, and they might even have personal knowledge of the person to make them think that person definitely isn't as smart/working as hard/being as deserving as them. But with Bezos they don't have a yardstick to go by.
  - ilyt 3y ago
    Cars are wholly other kind of funny. Get 15 years old sports car, especially "looking" sporty, and people will look at you like you're trying to show off your wealth when they are driving SUV 3x as more expensive as your car...
    - steveBK123 3y ago
      Yeah car stuff is very funny. In the grand scheme of things past a certain income level as a lump sum cost, they are not a large expense compared to housing. Nor is their monthly cost if financed particularly expensive next to the ongoing forever cost of insuring, fueling/charging, maintaining and garaging them. Nor is driving around in a relatively decent & recent model vs trying to keep an old model in working order with all the maintenance costs. If you make 6 figures / live in a HCOL area, then the difference in a $25k or $40k or $50k car over the course of a 10 year life is kind of whatever. The insurance, maintenance and gas/charge over that 10 years probably adds up to $30k at a bare minimum. Your house probably cost $1M. Even if you trade-in every 4~5 years at the end of the warranty period to minimize random maintenance costs, then maybe you eat like $3-4k/year of depreciation during ownership.. again not a huge number to have a reliable, safe, modern car at all times. The real outsized car costs are incurred with car nerds who max out on having more cars than drivers, and/or "upgrading" every year, constantly eating max depreciation.
evandale 3y ago
I never really thought of this seriously (or why) until reading that "Some Things I Think" post[0] was on here yesterday and a few were along the lines of that. Three that resonated with me about money: “People like you more when you are working towards something, not when you have it.” - Drake Net worth goes from $0 to $1 million: Ecstasy. Net worth goes from $10 million to $1 million: Despondency. Can we agree that all wealth is relative? A lot of people like making money more than they enjoy having money. The change, not the accumulated amount, is the thrill. The last one is the biggest mindfuck to me because I can relate to it so much. Every single online MMO I play I'm happy making tiny amounts of money and watching the balance go up. I don't care much for upgrading to bigger and better things or end-game content. I played this game called Tibia pretty seriously for a period of time and then got bored and was going to stop. There were a few months where the only thing I would do is log in, do about 6 daily quests I enjoyed doing that were dead easy, collect my 1000gp or however much it was and walk around town for a bit debating if I want to level up before quitting. [0] https://collabfund.com/blog/thoughts/ https://collabfund.com/blog/thoughts/
- ilyt 3y ago
  > Net worth goes from $0 to $1 million: Ecstasy. Net worth goes from $10 million to $1 million: Despondency. Can we agree that all wealth is relative? I think that's more because when going down on income (regardless of the starting amount and difference), that usually comes with having to resign from some luxuries on that way. While earning more means experiencing luxuries you couldn't afford before. Like, moving from public transport to nice car vs the other way around. Or living in cramped apartment vs nice house. > A lot of people like making money more than they enjoy having money. The change, not the accumulated amount, is the thrill. I would not say a lot; I think there might be some self-selection when people focus on making money that might just become their hobby and so have higher motivation to earn more and more vs focusing on other areas in life. The few well-off people I know don't exactly feel like ones making money for money sake > The last one is the biggest mindfuck to me because I can relate to it so much. Every single online MMO I play I'm happy making tiny amounts of money and watching the balance go up. I don't care much for upgrading to bigger and better things or end-game content. I played this game called Tibia pretty seriously for a period of time and then got bored and was going to stop. There were a few months where the only thing I would do is log in, do about 6 daily quests I enjoyed doing that were dead easy, collect my 1000gp or however much it was and walk around town for a bit debating if I want to level up before quitting. I am complete opposite. When I was seriously raiding in WoW (we were usually somewhere in top 5 guilds on our server) I still did just enough to have money for any gear/consumables I needed. Same in other areas, I need to have some end goal, else I don't have all that much motivation for work or getting better pay. Else I'd just burn money on random crap (I got better with that over the years)

steveBK123 3y ago

There's also a weird thing of like adjacent class envy more than large gaps. Kind of a Narcissism of small differences thing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_differences https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_difference...) At the extreme- Few people are personally envious of Jeff Bezos having a nicer house/car/boat/vacation. But the way some people in my small middle class hometown react to someone who lives in the same town/hood, kids going to same school driving a $40k car when they drive a $25k car is kind of comically deranged.

Aeolun 3y ago
I’ve heard this from so many people, and I just do not see how it matters in practical terms. A car has four wheels and an engine. Other than that, as long as it’s safe and functional, why care what it costs?
- steveBK123 3y ago
  humans are irrational, emotional, illogical beings.. what does practical terms have to do with it?
- hgsgm 3y ago
  It's a waste of money that could be helping people.
  - bongoman37 3y ago
    [dead]
- digging 3y ago
  It's signalling.
digging 3y ago
This makes sense to me. I came from the service industry to tech. I tripled my income in a couple years and was very satisfied. Then a coworker got a promotion that I felt I deserved, and started making more than me. This coworker came from a different background and had always been "ahead" of me financially. But suddenly, there was a very tangible gap between us. It could have been me, I thought. I could have that so easily. And I was not satisfied with my pay. I found a new job. (I no longer care that much. I know that wages are essentially more unfair than fair.)
vidarh 3y ago
Going from $25k to $40k for a car seems within reach and they don't see how that person that they see does anything different that makes the difference justified, and they might even have personal knowledge of the person to make them think that person definitely isn't as smart/working as hard/being as deserving as them. But with Bezos they don't have a yardstick to go by.
- ilyt 3y ago
  Cars are wholly other kind of funny. Get 15 years old sports car, especially "looking" sporty, and people will look at you like you're trying to show off your wealth when they are driving SUV 3x as more expensive as your car...
  - steveBK123 3y ago
    Yeah car stuff is very funny. In the grand scheme of things past a certain income level as a lump sum cost, they are not a large expense compared to housing. Nor is their monthly cost if financed particularly expensive next to the ongoing forever cost of insuring, fueling/charging, maintaining and garaging them. Nor is driving around in a relatively decent & recent model vs trying to keep an old model in working order with all the maintenance costs. If you make 6 figures / live in a HCOL area, then the difference in a $25k or $40k or $50k car over the course of a 10 year life is kind of whatever. The insurance, maintenance and gas/charge over that 10 years probably adds up to $30k at a bare minimum. Your house probably cost $1M. Even if you trade-in every 4~5 years at the end of the warranty period to minimize random maintenance costs, then maybe you eat like $3-4k/year of depreciation during ownership.. again not a huge number to have a reliable, safe, modern car at all times. The real outsized car costs are incurred with car nerds who max out on having more cars than drivers, and/or "upgrading" every year, constantly eating max depreciation.

evandale 3y ago

I never really thought of this seriously (or why) until reading that "Some Things I Think" post[0] was on here yesterday and a few were along the lines of that. Three that resonated with me about money: “People like you more when you are working towards something, not when you have it.” - Drake Net worth goes from $0 to $1 million: Ecstasy. Net worth goes from $10 million to $1 million: Despondency. Can we agree that all wealth is relative? A lot of people like making money more than they enjoy having money. The change, not the accumulated amount, is the thrill. The last one is the biggest mindfuck to me because I can relate to it so much. Every single online MMO I play I'm happy making tiny amounts of money and watching the balance go up. I don't care much for upgrading to bigger and better things or end-game content. I played this game called Tibia pretty seriously for a period of time and then got bored and was going to stop. There were a few months where the only thing I would do is log in, do about 6 daily quests I enjoyed doing that were dead easy, collect my 1000gp or however much it was and walk around town for a bit debating if I want to level up before quitting. [0] https://collabfund.com/blog/thoughts/ https://collabfund.com/blog/thoughts/

ilyt 3y ago
> Net worth goes from $0 to $1 million: Ecstasy. Net worth goes from $10 million to $1 million: Despondency. Can we agree that all wealth is relative? I think that's more because when going down on income (regardless of the starting amount and difference), that usually comes with having to resign from some luxuries on that way. While earning more means experiencing luxuries you couldn't afford before. Like, moving from public transport to nice car vs the other way around. Or living in cramped apartment vs nice house. > A lot of people like making money more than they enjoy having money. The change, not the accumulated amount, is the thrill. I would not say a lot; I think there might be some self-selection when people focus on making money that might just become their hobby and so have higher motivation to earn more and more vs focusing on other areas in life. The few well-off people I know don't exactly feel like ones making money for money sake > The last one is the biggest mindfuck to me because I can relate to it so much. Every single online MMO I play I'm happy making tiny amounts of money and watching the balance go up. I don't care much for upgrading to bigger and better things or end-game content. I played this game called Tibia pretty seriously for a period of time and then got bored and was going to stop. There were a few months where the only thing I would do is log in, do about 6 daily quests I enjoyed doing that were dead easy, collect my 1000gp or however much it was and walk around town for a bit debating if I want to level up before quitting. I am complete opposite. When I was seriously raiding in WoW (we were usually somewhere in top 5 guilds on our server) I still did just enough to have money for any gear/consumables I needed. Same in other areas, I need to have some end goal, else I don't have all that much motivation for work or getting better pay. Else I'd just burn money on random crap (I got better with that over the years)