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Looking back at my teens years where I was addicted to porn, I would trade every video & cum for 1 real connection.
by mirpetri 3y ago
Looking back at my teens years where I was addicted to porn, I would trade every video & cum for 1 real connection.
- Beaver117 3y agoA lot of people would
- rnk 3y agoI think most adults would say the same thing about their own lives, they hunger for deep connections with other people. Covid just made this worse. It's a human desire in our world, and it's not because of naked pics on the internet.
- Swizec 3y ago> they hunger for deep connections with other people We all hunger for deep connections yet we shy away from making the first step. Everyone is tired of shallow, everyone wants depth, nobody wants to start. You may be surprised how well people respond, if you just start. Be the person who takes it deep. If you initiate, most people will be happy to follow and soon you’ll be surrounded by deep connections. Same as when you’re alone at a party. If you initiate, most people will be happy to chat and soon you’ll be surrounded by friends. PS: while this is simple, it is not easy … but really, reach out to some people and take them out for a <beverage>. You may be surprised how many will jump at the chance edit: it is important to note that raw time spent together is the fastest way to a deep connection. You can’t hack this. You need actual real time. Even if you never talk about anything particularly deep, the connection becomes deep by sheer virtue of spending regular time together. edit2: relationship building takes years, not minutes. You cannot hack this process. But it does help to take the risk first.
- AnIdiotOnTheNet 3y agoNobody wants to start because of how easy it is to be taken advantage of, and we live in a world that favors the predators. We watch trust get taken advantage of every day. > You may be surprised how well people respond, if you just start. Be the person who takes it deep. If you initiate, most people will be happy to follow and soon you’ll be surrounded by deep connections. My experience is different. They either only want shallow and brief connection (which I can't really blame them for given the above), or the only kind of trust relationship they want is the one where you trust them and they can take advantage of you, or sell you something, or push some ideology on you. Actual connection with people who just want to be human is exceptionally rare from what I can tell.
- expertentipp 3y agoSorry but reality is not screenplay of "Legally Blonde". When living in Berlin I encountered numerous times the attitude "I already have friends and don't need new ones, why should I even talk to you?". People are proud from their attitude of hating "small talk" and being outright assholes. Few times I pulled some girl to dance classes and she said afterwards something along the lines "I'm going to the Moon and we'll meet again once I come back", hypergamy is brutal. What's left? Porn.
- Swizec 3y agoYes it doesn’t always work. And it’s easier with people you already have some connection with than total strangers. But if it works 10% of the time and you try 10 times, you’ll have 1 new friend. That’s great! How many do you really need?
- yamtaddle 3y agoOut here in US flyover country, everywhere I look I see unremarkable dudes who certainly don't look like high earners, with reasonably-attractive women. Sure, most of them (men and women) get kinda gross by middle age (we do have an obesity epidemic, after all, and it's much worse in some states than others) but the whole incel thing is just baffling from out here—how are these forum-dwellers having so much trouble finding a partner? Maybe the forum-dweller bit is the problem? But these women live away from the coasts and like dudes who are into fishing or hunting (not Final Fantasy Online) and can secure a trailer hitch blindfolded, and most of them probably voted for Trump, so, I guess that's the disconnect? But then, the voting thing, they may have in common with the incels. It's like two totally different worlds. [EDIT] Oh, a lot of them probably attend some protestant church or another pretty regularly, which I'm guessing most having trouble making connections do not. Maybe that contributes? Guaranteed socializing about once a week.
- Zigurd 3y agoYou put your finger on one of the things getting in the way. Guys spouting "purity culture" from those churches will have the Atacama Desert of dicks. Fundamentalism, misogyny, trumpism, inability to support the bodily autonomy of women, white supremacy, even techbro libertarianism, will keep your dick dry. That's what people like Jordan Peterson and even Scott Galloway get wrong: You can go to the gym and buy new bedlinens, but women can smell Ben Shapiro in your podcast list from across town.
- raydev 3y agoThis presumes that porn addiction was/is common.
- lr4444lr 3y agoWhat's a "connection"? I'd assume prostitution wouldn't count.
- TechBro8615 3y ago[flagged]
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- shrimp_emoji 3y agoBut isn't the porn to gratify your desire for sex? Desire for sex is a horribly hollow foundation for a relationship. To onboard the tremendous time, attention, work, and emotional stability that a good relationship demands, or that a bad relationship totally incinerates to nobody's benefit, while coming from a place of "I wanna get my dick wet" or "my sadness would be fixed if only I conjoined my life with another human being" sounds disastrous.
- antibasilisk 3y agoDesiring sex is literally the foundation for all sexual relationships. Otherwise there's not much difference to hanging out with your bros.
- falcolas 3y ago[dead]
- LorenPechtel 3y ago[dead]