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I found this quite interesting. So lonely people do indeed see and experience the world in an idiosyncratic way. I wonder how these individuals do in our modern

I found this quite interesting. So lonely people do indeed see and experience the world in an idiosyncratic way. I wonder how these individuals do in our modern world of life, are they successful (in the ways our society's usually deem with career and money etc) or are they not able to operate in it? Is there a certain type of job they fall into? For example are they entrepreneurs who try to change the world to a view that they see as possible, that would make the most sense to me. Trying to create a place of belonging

drewcoo 4y ago
The title implies a causation that might be flipped. It could mean "I'm lonely, so I think unlike everyone else." This doesn't make a lot of sense. Would people do it out of spite? More likely "nobody thinks like me, so I am lonely." The way it's phrased, I would guess they're after funding to spot idiosyncratic thinking to detect loneliness. Imagine if, based on the videos you like to watch articles you read, etc., they could detect that you were lonely, then target ads . . .
- sprt 4y ago
  > It could mean "I'm lonely, so I think unlike everyone else." This doesn't make a lot of sense. Would people do it out of spite? Makes sense to me actually: I wouldn't say it's even necessarily conscious, but the less you interact with others, the more you can become set in your own ways and create pathways to seeing your beliefs as truths.
  - sdwr 4y ago
    I am (and esp have been) pretty lonely, and this is it, there's no sanity tests for thoughts. In good situations, other people provide a grounding, stabilizing influence. Without them, the mind has to do this by itself, leading to some pretty extreme overcompensating and "just so" stories.
    - grugagag 4y ago
      Are you lonely by choice or by circumstance? And if you could change anything would you?
    - watwut 4y ago
      It can be good or bad. I read one analysis of those who saved/hidden Jewish people during WWII. They tended to be socially isolated people, a bit outside of society. That is what allowed them to not fall to group think and to overcome fear. (The analysis was done by some Jewish institute).
- majormajor 4y ago
  Terry Pratchett put it well, I think: “Individuals aren't naturally paid-up members of the human race, except biologically. They need to be bounced around by the Brownian motion of society, which is a mechanism by which human beings constantly remind one another that they are...well...human beings.”
  - rawoke083600 4y ago
    I so miss his mind and view points! What a legend ! Brought me hours of smiles :)
- watwut 4y ago
  When I was lonely and isolated, I did started to think differently. Not out of spite, it just happened automatically. We adjust to each other all the time. We change behavior to match others. When we talk with people, our opinions become more alike. But when you are lonely, you change in own way and become out of sync. That is why it is difficult to reenter socialization after long loneliness. There is gap between you and others, you feel lonely even if people are there. It took years to fully get back and for a while I thought I never will.
- imiric 4y ago
  The study acknowledges that: > Although it is unclear whether the observed idiosyncratic processing in lonely individuals is a cause or a result of loneliness, the associated lack of shared understanding may lead to challenges in achieving social connections.
Trasmatta 4y ago
I'm a lonely person who spends almost all of his time alone. I work remotely and don't have any friends or family in my city. All of my "socialization" just happens at work, online. I'm doing well as a software engineer, but I have no ambition or long term goals. Just my anecdote. I feel like there's not going to be a consistent pattern, and you can probably find people like me in any line of work, and with a wide range of personalities.
- _8j50 4y ago
  You don't need to alter your beliefs to conform to a social group. I often say stuff even on hn that is apparently wildly controversial but I arrived at that belief on my own yet people accuse me of being part of wildly different political groups. There are two main types people in this category as well. Those at peace with their situation and those that aren't. Controlling for this in a study like this one is crucial in my opinion. But on your comment about consistent pattern, I agree. For whatever reason, I would prefer to not have friends and even be hated than accept something I know to be wrong. But that also means when i myself am wrong you would need to reason and change my mind which is too much for most people. I find most people want to conform to some larger group, but if I don't belong to any group anyways then why not take advantage of that and find truth, even if i am wildly wrong at times maybe I can be authentic. What I learned is that the world and other people owe me nothing but the opposite works too. But if I seek truth and take time to reason and understand how things work and what the root causes of different issues are then at least I can help change my situation and if I help others then my help would be based in truth and will eradicate problems at their core not at the surface level.
- jononomo 4y ago
  No plans to get married and have children?
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - yoyohello13 4y ago
    That is often the default plan, but not necessarily a goal for everyone.

drewcoo 4y ago

The title implies a causation that might be flipped. It could mean "I'm lonely, so I think unlike everyone else." This doesn't make a lot of sense. Would people do it out of spite? More likely "nobody thinks like me, so I am lonely." The way it's phrased, I would guess they're after funding to spot idiosyncratic thinking to detect loneliness. Imagine if, based on the videos you like to watch articles you read, etc., they could detect that you were lonely, then target ads . . .

sprt 4y ago
> It could mean "I'm lonely, so I think unlike everyone else." This doesn't make a lot of sense. Would people do it out of spite? Makes sense to me actually: I wouldn't say it's even necessarily conscious, but the less you interact with others, the more you can become set in your own ways and create pathways to seeing your beliefs as truths.
- sdwr 4y ago
  I am (and esp have been) pretty lonely, and this is it, there's no sanity tests for thoughts. In good situations, other people provide a grounding, stabilizing influence. Without them, the mind has to do this by itself, leading to some pretty extreme overcompensating and "just so" stories.
  - grugagag 4y ago
    Are you lonely by choice or by circumstance? And if you could change anything would you?
  - watwut 4y ago
    It can be good or bad. I read one analysis of those who saved/hidden Jewish people during WWII. They tended to be socially isolated people, a bit outside of society. That is what allowed them to not fall to group think and to overcome fear. (The analysis was done by some Jewish institute).
majormajor 4y ago
Terry Pratchett put it well, I think: “Individuals aren't naturally paid-up members of the human race, except biologically. They need to be bounced around by the Brownian motion of society, which is a mechanism by which human beings constantly remind one another that they are...well...human beings.”
- rawoke083600 4y ago
  I so miss his mind and view points! What a legend ! Brought me hours of smiles :)
watwut 4y ago
When I was lonely and isolated, I did started to think differently. Not out of spite, it just happened automatically. We adjust to each other all the time. We change behavior to match others. When we talk with people, our opinions become more alike. But when you are lonely, you change in own way and become out of sync. That is why it is difficult to reenter socialization after long loneliness. There is gap between you and others, you feel lonely even if people are there. It took years to fully get back and for a while I thought I never will.
imiric 4y ago
The study acknowledges that: > Although it is unclear whether the observed idiosyncratic processing in lonely individuals is a cause or a result of loneliness, the associated lack of shared understanding may lead to challenges in achieving social connections.

Trasmatta 4y ago

I'm a lonely person who spends almost all of his time alone. I work remotely and don't have any friends or family in my city. All of my "socialization" just happens at work, online. I'm doing well as a software engineer, but I have no ambition or long term goals. Just my anecdote. I feel like there's not going to be a consistent pattern, and you can probably find people like me in any line of work, and with a wide range of personalities.

_8j50 4y ago
You don't need to alter your beliefs to conform to a social group. I often say stuff even on hn that is apparently wildly controversial but I arrived at that belief on my own yet people accuse me of being part of wildly different political groups. There are two main types people in this category as well. Those at peace with their situation and those that aren't. Controlling for this in a study like this one is crucial in my opinion. But on your comment about consistent pattern, I agree. For whatever reason, I would prefer to not have friends and even be hated than accept something I know to be wrong. But that also means when i myself am wrong you would need to reason and change my mind which is too much for most people. I find most people want to conform to some larger group, but if I don't belong to any group anyways then why not take advantage of that and find truth, even if i am wildly wrong at times maybe I can be authentic. What I learned is that the world and other people owe me nothing but the opposite works too. But if I seek truth and take time to reason and understand how things work and what the root causes of different issues are then at least I can help change my situation and if I help others then my help would be based in truth and will eradicate problems at their core not at the surface level.
jononomo 4y ago
No plans to get married and have children?
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- yoyohello13 4y ago
  That is often the default plan, but not necessarily a goal for everyone.