My partner and I wanted to leave the US to have kids and this was one of the reasons we were looking abroad. We eventually chose the Netherlands because they ha

My partner and I wanted to leave the US to have kids and this was one of the reasons we were looking abroad. We eventually chose the Netherlands because they have a strong culture of encouraging independence in kids, which matched up w/ our values. We just had our first kid, and I've discovered that the amount of internalized guilt is out of control. No one has to say anything to you to make you doubt your decisions, you do great on your own. (I'm oddly OK on this front, it really messes with my partner). This kind of thing doesn't really happen in the Netherlands; but you will get occasional "you should"s from people from time to time. I really bristle at those, and I can barely imagine the insane rage I would feel if a total stranger of an adult approached my kids at a playground to ask where I was, or if someone outright chastised my partner for a decision she made. Calling the cops or social services is unimaginable; I'd probably lose it and move to the woods like Captain Fantastic. As soon as you get pregnant something clicks in busybody brains everywhere and they suddenly swarm. I don't know what weird cultural phenomenon is responsible for it, but it's insufferable. We have stuff like uBlock and Pi-hole for surveillance capitalism getting all up in our business; is there something out there for busybodies?