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That's only because almost everyone desirable goes there. If people stopped going, they could meet elsewhere.

by hgsgm 4y ago

vehemenz 4y ago
It sounds plausible, but university towns (at least in the US) are pretty unique in that they are dense and young people can afford to live there. You could say commuter campuses don't have the same social scene because not "everyone desirable goes there," but I'd wager it's more due to students driving in from 45 minutes away rather than living amongst each other.
jimkleiber 4y ago
I think people have a lot of shared context in college that they don't often have elsewhere. Depending on the college, but especially in the US campus experience, people live together, eat together, study together, party together, and more. So I don't think it's just the desirability of people.
- thaw13579 4y ago
  Yes, when mixed together in the world at large, it's rare to run into people who have enough shared context to click with.
thomastjeffery 4y ago
The trouble is: where? The alternative is a variety of places, and practically all of them have some kind of tax; where it be coffee, alcohol, or some kind of membership fee. What we are missing is called, "the third place".
- fschuett 4y ago
  The third place is called "church" and it has been the center of socialization for 2000 years before western society replaced it with college and nightclubs.
  - thomastjeffery 4y ago
    I disagree. Church is more equivalent to hobby clubs and work. Church is focused on a specific narrative, whether that be religious belief or generalized "unity". No matter how casual the experience, churches have purpose and exclusivity. The third place isn't only physically missing: it's missing in our social behavior. It could easily exist in public parks, but we are expected to avoid strangers.
    - latency-guy2 4y ago
      The other place you are missing in your life is self inflicted. No one stops you from going to church, you are. Capitalism created so many opportunities for you to choose that you are now afraid of making a choice. At what point will you stop saying > It could easily exist in public parks, but we are expected to avoid strangers. And instead admit that YOU don't want to meet strangers, and that YOU expect others to avoid YOU. Bars are still a thing. Guys and girls nights are still a thing. Bowling, soccer, football, drama club, night club, drugs, hiking, climbing, the gym and so on for literally a million other things. Millions of people partake in these things every day. Every. Day. They are all happy to do it without you, because quite frankly, you do not exist. Just admit you love sitting on the internet rather than going outside. Just admit it. It is bizarre that this is even a talking point. You learned how to be anti-social because you've found that it benefited you, there is no risk to being online, you don't have to embarrass yourself talking to other people. You don't want confrontation, you don't want to deal with the emotions and personal lives of others, you don't want any of the baggage that comes from interacting with humans whatsoever. Even with the invention of the internet, you can invent your own "third place", and many have in numerous ways including forums, social media, special interest groups, gaming communities ALL exist here. So no. I won't listen to this bullshit of a missing 'third place'. You are anti-social, and you don't want to fix your issues.
      - thomastjeffery 4y ago
        > No one stops you from going to church, you are. And, as an atheist, why in the hell would I? If I attend a church, I will be expected to participate. At the very least, whatever narrative that church focuses on will be the topic of a significant portion of conversation. That is entirely contradictory to the "third place" I am talking about. Your insinuation that I am the problem for choosing not to embrace a church as my third place proves my point. I can't even talk to you about the idea of a third place without you evangelizing in response. Like you said, there are a million things: every one of them has an intentional purpose: a predetermined subject. Every one of them has the potential for meeting people, but "meeting people" is not the point! > So no. I won't listen Exactly. Here we stand in a world where most people (including you) are only willing to listen to the people from their chosen social groups. We can't even talk to each other without first sorting ourselves into categories of interest! This is the failure of church: unification by demand. One narrative to rule them all; but in reality, competing with many other narratives. Why must we join a team in the first place? It's it really that hard to just talk to each other?
- diceduckmonk 4y ago
  That was kind of the vision of WeWork, for better or worst. An extended college dorm for white collar workers
  - thomastjeffery 4y ago
    That's even worse than a bar: you basically have to pay rent, and most of the people around you are intently focused on something. The point of a third place, at least as I see it, is to have no purpose at all. Just be around other people and talk about whatever.
Ar-Curunir 4y ago
Have you seen the vast majority of the USA? It’s suburbia and parking lots. You try meeting people there.

That's only because almost everyone desirable goes there. If people stopped going, they could meet elsewhere.

by hgsgm 4y ago

That's only because almost everyone desirable goes there. If people stopped going, they could meet elsewhere.

It sounds plausible, but university towns (at least in the US) are pretty unique in that they are dense and young people can afford to live there. You could say commuter campuses don't have the same social scene because not "everyone desirable goes there," but I'd wager it's more due to students driving in from 45 minutes away rather than living amongst each other.

jimkleiber 4y ago

I think people have a lot of shared context in college that they don't often have elsewhere. Depending on the college, but especially in the US campus experience, people live together, eat together, study together, party together, and more. So I don't think it's just the desirability of people.

thaw13579 4y ago
Yes, when mixed together in the world at large, it's rare to run into people who have enough shared context to click with.

thomastjeffery 4y ago

The trouble is: where? The alternative is a variety of places, and practically all of them have some kind of tax; where it be coffee, alcohol, or some kind of membership fee. What we are missing is called, "the third place".

fschuett 4y ago
The third place is called "church" and it has been the center of socialization for 2000 years before western society replaced it with college and nightclubs.
- thomastjeffery 4y ago
  I disagree. Church is more equivalent to hobby clubs and work. Church is focused on a specific narrative, whether that be religious belief or generalized "unity". No matter how casual the experience, churches have purpose and exclusivity. The third place isn't only physically missing: it's missing in our social behavior. It could easily exist in public parks, but we are expected to avoid strangers.
  - latency-guy2 4y ago
    The other place you are missing in your life is self inflicted. No one stops you from going to church, you are. Capitalism created so many opportunities for you to choose that you are now afraid of making a choice. At what point will you stop saying > It could easily exist in public parks, but we are expected to avoid strangers. And instead admit that YOU don't want to meet strangers, and that YOU expect others to avoid YOU. Bars are still a thing. Guys and girls nights are still a thing. Bowling, soccer, football, drama club, night club, drugs, hiking, climbing, the gym and so on for literally a million other things. Millions of people partake in these things every day. Every. Day. They are all happy to do it without you, because quite frankly, you do not exist. Just admit you love sitting on the internet rather than going outside. Just admit it. It is bizarre that this is even a talking point. You learned how to be anti-social because you've found that it benefited you, there is no risk to being online, you don't have to embarrass yourself talking to other people. You don't want confrontation, you don't want to deal with the emotions and personal lives of others, you don't want any of the baggage that comes from interacting with humans whatsoever. Even with the invention of the internet, you can invent your own "third place", and many have in numerous ways including forums, social media, special interest groups, gaming communities ALL exist here. So no. I won't listen to this bullshit of a missing 'third place'. You are anti-social, and you don't want to fix your issues.
    - thomastjeffery 4y ago
      > No one stops you from going to church, you are. And, as an atheist, why in the hell would I? If I attend a church, I will be expected to participate. At the very least, whatever narrative that church focuses on will be the topic of a significant portion of conversation. That is entirely contradictory to the "third place" I am talking about. Your insinuation that I am the problem for choosing not to embrace a church as my third place proves my point. I can't even talk to you about the idea of a third place without you evangelizing in response. Like you said, there are a million things: every one of them has an intentional purpose: a predetermined subject. Every one of them has the potential for meeting people, but "meeting people" is not the point! > So no. I won't listen Exactly. Here we stand in a world where most people (including you) are only willing to listen to the people from their chosen social groups. We can't even talk to each other without first sorting ourselves into categories of interest! This is the failure of church: unification by demand. One narrative to rule them all; but in reality, competing with many other narratives. Why must we join a team in the first place? It's it really that hard to just talk to each other?
diceduckmonk 4y ago
That was kind of the vision of WeWork, for better or worst. An extended college dorm for white collar workers
- thomastjeffery 4y ago
  That's even worse than a bar: you basically have to pay rent, and most of the people around you are intently focused on something. The point of a third place, at least as I see it, is to have no purpose at all. Just be around other people and talk about whatever.

Ar-Curunir 4y ago

Have you seen the vast majority of the USA? It’s suburbia and parking lots. You try meeting people there.