6 ms·

Was that your intent? You effectively grounded her. Actually worse because if she was grounded she could still talk to her friends. Trying to equate all "techno

by Spivak 4y ago

Was that your intent? You effectively grounded her. Actually worse because if she was grounded she could still talk to her friends. Trying to equate all "technology" and confiscate it like it's an extra nonessential thing like video games or toys is a mistake a lot of parents seem to be making in an environment where most social activity happens online and where everything is planned. It's fine I guess if that's what you wanted out of it but it's a pretty harsh punishment all things considered. I would have taken the grounding every time.

aidenn0 4y ago
It was not our intent; she is not our oldest and we were surprised how unmotivated she was to plan outings with friends without using the phone compared to others. A phone is clearly a non-essential thing since she was able to function the first 13 years of her life without one. We have rules around proper phone use and there was a violation that was both significant, and a repeat offense, so the phone went away for an extended period of time. P.S. I don't know what kind of grounding you had, but I sure as hell wasn't allowed to talk with my friends when I was grounded (by the time I got a phone in my room, it was removed whenever I was grounded).
- juve1996 4y ago
  How else is she supposed to reach out to her friends if she can't use a phone?
  - aidenn0 4y ago
    She sees them at school every day?
    - juve1996 4y ago
      Not every day of the week. And plans/things change all the time. Luckily we can message everyone in a group saying we'll be late/can't go/let's do this new activity instead. Everyone was doing everything on imessage. People don't call other's home phones anymore to make plans. Do you even own a landline?
      - aidenn0 4y ago
        > Do you even own a landline? Yes.
  - krageon 4y ago
    By talking and physical proximity. It's not easier, but it's also not exactly hard if you go to the same school.
    - juve1996 4y ago
      School only covers part of the day. You don't always see all your friends (some share different class schedules). This doesn't cover the weekend. And it doesn't cover changing plans or adhoc after school plans. I just don't see how someone can be shocked that their daughter couldn't make plans after they took away the prominent communication device everyone uses. It isn't like when we grew up and you'd call the landline or get on your bike and knock on your friend's door.
      - aidenn0 4y ago
        > It isn't like when we grew up and you'd call the landline or get on your bike and knock on your friend's door. Except for the fact that 3 out of 4 of our kids are willing to do that.
        juve1996 4y ago
        If all of them are close and regularly reach out with those methods normally maybe your child isn't as well liked as she thinks, then. or they simply don't act the same as your sample size of 4. I don't see how anyone can be shocked that taking away how people communicate leads to less communication. I really don't. Whether it's right or wrong or worth it is up to you and what you think is best.

by Spivak 4y ago

aidenn0 4y ago

It was not our intent; she is not our oldest and we were surprised how unmotivated she was to plan outings with friends without using the phone compared to others. A phone is clearly a non-essential thing since she was able to function the first 13 years of her life without one. We have rules around proper phone use and there was a violation that was both significant, and a repeat offense, so the phone went away for an extended period of time. P.S. I don't know what kind of grounding you had, but I sure as hell wasn't allowed to talk with my friends when I was grounded (by the time I got a phone in my room, it was removed whenever I was grounded).

juve1996 4y ago
How else is she supposed to reach out to her friends if she can't use a phone?
- aidenn0 4y ago
  She sees them at school every day?
  - juve1996 4y ago
    Not every day of the week. And plans/things change all the time. Luckily we can message everyone in a group saying we'll be late/can't go/let's do this new activity instead. Everyone was doing everything on imessage. People don't call other's home phones anymore to make plans. Do you even own a landline?
    - aidenn0 4y ago
      > Do you even own a landline? Yes.
- krageon 4y ago
  By talking and physical proximity. It's not easier, but it's also not exactly hard if you go to the same school.
  - juve1996 4y ago
    School only covers part of the day. You don't always see all your friends (some share different class schedules). This doesn't cover the weekend. And it doesn't cover changing plans or adhoc after school plans. I just don't see how someone can be shocked that their daughter couldn't make plans after they took away the prominent communication device everyone uses. It isn't like when we grew up and you'd call the landline or get on your bike and knock on your friend's door.
    - aidenn0 4y ago
      > It isn't like when we grew up and you'd call the landline or get on your bike and knock on your friend's door. Except for the fact that 3 out of 4 of our kids are willing to do that.
      - juve1996 4y ago
        If all of them are close and regularly reach out with those methods normally maybe your child isn't as well liked as she thinks, then. or they simply don't act the same as your sample size of 4. I don't see how anyone can be shocked that taking away how people communicate leads to less communication. I really don't. Whether it's right or wrong or worth it is up to you and what you think is best.