Are the parameters set to comedy? Sometimes you get this kind of thing, other times the more ordinary "I take responsibility" faux-sincerity. "Now, you may be

Are the parameters set to comedy? Sometimes you get this kind of thing, other times the more ordinary "I take responsibility" faux-sincerity. "Now, you may be wondering why this has happened, and why I am blaming others for this situation. This is because our competitors are using innovative techniques to increase their profits and staying ahead of the curve. As a result, we have to find new ways to remain competitive and grow our company. To do this, we must make difficult decisions, including reducing our workforce."