5 ms·

I literally don't see why. All my friends and family know what I make(and I know what they make) - what's the big deal?

mock-possum 4y ago
some people have shitty friends and family that's really the only reason why. I'll usually check in with people if they're comfortable with talking about money, but otherwise I've never had trouble with anyone knowing how much (or how little) I make. I kind of see it as a trap, I guess - if knowing how much I make prejudices you against me, than I'd rather you show yourself for who you are sooner, so I can keep you at an appropriate distance. I've got no time for people like that.
epolanski 4y ago
Did you know that 90%+ of house robberies and stealing happens by acquittances? It's people that know you that rob and steal, not randoms. I make much more than my friends. That stirs envy, jealousy, people asking for money and poses a danger to me and my family. I don't want someone to come rob me in the night because a long tongued friend told other. There's literally not one good reason to tell others you make good money. It brings NOTHING good.
philosopher1234 4y ago
envy is a big deal. some people manage it better than others, but it exists in and affects all relationships. sometimes its best avoided.
- JohnFen 4y ago
  It's also not always even envy. There's a whole range of possible reactions. It can be just as bad if people discover you earn less than them.
pojzon 4y ago
If you earn really a lot, ppl who may want to hurt you or ypur family might pop up. Ransome, asking for money etc. Nobody care if you make 50k but if you make 500k suddenly things change.
- khazhoux 4y ago
  It's sad that you are being downvoted, because I think you may be shedding light on an experience that comfortable Americans can't relate to, where landing into a pile of money is not just "awkward" for your friend/family relationships, but can become a serious problem when people in your circle feel entitled to a cut.
  - epolanski 4y ago
    I'm Italian and that's the same. It's just never a good idea to tell people you make good money. I don't buy expensive things, i don't show off. I quietly invest and will retire asap and enjoy a quiet relaxed life. I don't want a target on my back or people asking me money or treating me differently.
- netsharc 4y ago
  Being asked for money is awkward and uncomfortable and real, but are the risks of hurting/kidnapping for ransom very realistic in the real world? Yes they are non-zero, but so is the chance of a plane crashing into your residence...
  - epolanski 4y ago
    They are higher if people know you have money. That's enough of a reason to not make it known.
  - khazhoux 4y ago
    According to a friend, in Mexico the risk is very real.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
- icedchai 4y ago
  It's not what you make, it's what you save/invest. I know plenty of guys who made good money, but blew it all on bad decisions. One guy had a half million in stock from an exit where he was an early employee. The company was acquired by a public company, one that we would all recognize. He decided he should become an angel investor (with almost no experience), blew through at least a couple hundred K there, started his own company, blew through the rest. He lived a high maintenance life style: expensive cars, expensive house, spouse that didn't work. If he had done nothing, kept the stock, stayed at his original job, it would be worth at least several million today. That public company did very well.
mawise 4y ago
Making a Bay Area tech salary is making a lot of money compared to people who don't--kind of like winning the lottery. Here's a fun(?) read about how winning the lottery is really bad for you, mostly because public information that you have a lot of money leads to other people trying to get your money and making your life miserable: https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/-/5-1485089/?page=1#i40486827 https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/-/5-1485089/?page=1#i404...
- Gigachad 4y ago
  The problem with the lottery stories is the winnings are most likely to go to someone who doesn't know how to manage it and likely has friends and family who aren't the highest quality either. If you actually earned that amount you are much more likely to properly handle your finances.
  - mawise 4y ago
    The prime example in the post is someone who already had $15 million.
IshKebab 4y ago
You really can't see how people could resent you for making so much money? Look at how much people resent MPs for making £85k, which is a totally reasonable salary. Probably too low actually.
khazhoux 4y ago
Lucky you that you're haven't had problems. My own experience: non-tech midwest family got weird and treats me differently just suspecting I have silicon-valley-money (and they don't even know the actual extent of it).
- thwayunion 4y ago
  But they're going to anyways. A non-tech midwest friend who drives truck treated me differently on that same suspicion. We basically fell out over it. The kicker: he was unionized; I found out years later he wasn't making that much less than me (and was making quite a bit more after adjusting for cost of living)
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
JohnFen 4y ago
People get really weird about money. Sometimes it sets a social pecking order. Sometimes it has a large effect on their opinion of you. If they discover there's a large differential with you either way, it can make life unpleasant.

some people have shitty friends and family that's really the only reason why. I'll usually check in with people if they're comfortable with talking about money, but otherwise I've never had trouble with anyone knowing how much (or how little) I make. I kind of see it as a trap, I guess - if knowing how much I make prejudices you against me, than I'd rather you show yourself for who you are sooner, so I can keep you at an appropriate distance. I've got no time for people like that.

epolanski 4y ago

Did you know that 90%+ of house robberies and stealing happens by acquittances? It's people that know you that rob and steal, not randoms. I make much more than my friends. That stirs envy, jealousy, people asking for money and poses a danger to me and my family. I don't want someone to come rob me in the night because a long tongued friend told other. There's literally not one good reason to tell others you make good money. It brings NOTHING good.

philosopher1234 4y ago

envy is a big deal. some people manage it better than others, but it exists in and affects all relationships. sometimes its best avoided.

JohnFen 4y ago
It's also not always even envy. There's a whole range of possible reactions. It can be just as bad if people discover you earn less than them.

pojzon 4y ago

If you earn really a lot, ppl who may want to hurt you or ypur family might pop up. Ransome, asking for money etc. Nobody care if you make 50k but if you make 500k suddenly things change.

khazhoux 4y ago
It's sad that you are being downvoted, because I think you may be shedding light on an experience that comfortable Americans can't relate to, where landing into a pile of money is not just "awkward" for your friend/family relationships, but can become a serious problem when people in your circle feel entitled to a cut.
- epolanski 4y ago
  I'm Italian and that's the same. It's just never a good idea to tell people you make good money. I don't buy expensive things, i don't show off. I quietly invest and will retire asap and enjoy a quiet relaxed life. I don't want a target on my back or people asking me money or treating me differently.
netsharc 4y ago
Being asked for money is awkward and uncomfortable and real, but are the risks of hurting/kidnapping for ransom very realistic in the real world? Yes they are non-zero, but so is the chance of a plane crashing into your residence...
- epolanski 4y ago
  They are higher if people know you have money. That's enough of a reason to not make it known.
- khazhoux 4y ago
  According to a friend, in Mexico the risk is very real.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
icedchai 4y ago
It's not what you make, it's what you save/invest. I know plenty of guys who made good money, but blew it all on bad decisions. One guy had a half million in stock from an exit where he was an early employee. The company was acquired by a public company, one that we would all recognize. He decided he should become an angel investor (with almost no experience), blew through at least a couple hundred K there, started his own company, blew through the rest. He lived a high maintenance life style: expensive cars, expensive house, spouse that didn't work. If he had done nothing, kept the stock, stayed at his original job, it would be worth at least several million today. That public company did very well.

mawise 4y ago

Making a Bay Area tech salary is making a lot of money compared to people who don't--kind of like winning the lottery. Here's a fun(?) read about how winning the lottery is really bad for you, mostly because public information that you have a lot of money leads to other people trying to get your money and making your life miserable: https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/-/5-1485089/?page=1#i40486827 https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/-/5-1485089/?page=1#i404...

Gigachad 4y ago
The problem with the lottery stories is the winnings are most likely to go to someone who doesn't know how to manage it and likely has friends and family who aren't the highest quality either. If you actually earned that amount you are much more likely to properly handle your finances.
- mawise 4y ago
  The prime example in the post is someone who already had $15 million.

IshKebab 4y ago

You really can't see how people could resent you for making so much money? Look at how much people resent MPs for making £85k, which is a totally reasonable salary. Probably too low actually.

khazhoux 4y ago

Lucky you that you're haven't had problems. My own experience: non-tech midwest family got weird and treats me differently just suspecting I have silicon-valley-money (and they don't even know the actual extent of it).

thwayunion 4y ago
But they're going to anyways. A non-tech midwest friend who drives truck treated me differently on that same suspicion. We basically fell out over it. The kicker: he was unionized; I found out years later he wasn't making that much less than me (and was making quite a bit more after adjusting for cost of living)

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

JohnFen 4y ago

People get really weird about money. Sometimes it sets a social pecking order. Sometimes it has a large effect on their opinion of you. If they discover there's a large differential with you either way, it can make life unpleasant.