4 ms·

You get hotel death at home. At the office you meet a lot of nice people. You get mental peer support: "oh it sucks for them too? I'm not the only one. Maybe it

You get hotel death at home. At the office you meet a lot of nice people. You get mental peer support: "oh it sucks for them too? I'm not the only one. Maybe it's not so bad." I find those days are best for going to the office when I have the least meetings, and I can just have ad hoc encounters. Even our CEO so fondly speaks of those. "Oh, you thought that we should do X too? I thought I was the only one!" Ultimately you can experience consilience. I don't try to write that much or have meetings at the office as those are much easier to do at home.

whoomp12342 4y ago
> At the office you meet a lot of nice people is this satire? many office people are "nice to your face"
- Gravityloss 4y ago
  Not satire. My company at least really has a lot of nice people. Also my other jobs have been like that. The same has happened to me at university or school. Not all people are nice but you don't then need to always spend so much time with those.
- krageon 4y ago
  Most people are neither nice nor interesting. Generally the response to this is "get to know them better", which is tedious as it implies everything is nice as long as you know enough about it. This is also not true. There is a lot more value in having good, supportive friends. Those you can choose.
vidarh 4y ago
I don't work to meet people. If I want to meet people I do so elsewhere.
- einherjae 4y ago
  Consider that the world has introverts and extroverts. Consider also that your job is something you spend the majority of your waking hours doing. Consider then that the extroverts might prefer that to have some level of socialization. The extroverts have been made quite aware of how the introverts prefer things to be in the past few years, and may now be aware that the extroverts had the upper hand before. It must be feasible to strike a decent middleground.
  - krageon 4y ago
    The middle ground is having extroverts socialise somewhere where it's not a demand that inflicts harm on other people. Where folks can be of their own free will.
    - einherjae 4y ago
      Nah, it’s not. Not at all. You’re asking a portion of the population that thrives on socialization to avoid that for the majority of the day. That is just as bad as insisting on forcing that on the introverts.
      - Volundr 4y ago
        No one is asking that. They are asking that they not be dragged into the office in order to fill someone else's need for socializing at the expense of their own we'll being. If other people want to work at the office more power too them, but if not enough people want an to be in the office to fill their need for socializing, they are being asked to find it elsewhere instead of trying to force everyone else to fill their needs.
        einherjae 4y ago
        I don’t think you appreciate how bad full remote work can be for someone that thrives on having people around them. But I do appreciate the point you make here, asking others to do something they don’t appreciate just because you want to have people around, is not really a viable solution either. Then again, humans are intrinsically social animals. And communication does work better for some purposes when done in person. The point I’m trying to raise is that there should exist a decent middle ground that lets introverts and extroverts thrive in the same companies. Possibly by asking both to give a bit. But that point is somewhat incompatible with the “full remote is the way”-stance that seems to be very popular in at least a vocal part of crowds like HN.
hungryforcodes 4y ago
Why do I want to meet people at work? What is hotel death? Why do I need mental peer support? Co-workers usually cause the problems.
- dr-detroit 4y ago
  [dead]
- nerdchum 4y ago
  Yeah I need mental peer support BECAUSE of my coworkers. The work itself is enjoyable.
emptyfile 4y ago
[dead]
rightbyte 4y ago
> You get hotel death at home. Is that some idiom? You mean like isolation sickness?
- Gravityloss 4y ago
  Hmm yes maybe it doesn't exist as-is in English. It's when you just stay at the hotel room alone or with a very small company of people. One would think it'd be nice with no chores etc. But people actually tend to find it very unpleasant after a while. People like rock stars have something like this and then it increases the likelihood of substance abuse.
dickersnoodle 4y ago
This sounds really bogus to me. On the one hand you pick days with few meetings so you can go hang out and have "ad hoc encounters"; on the other hand, you write and have meetings at home because they're so much easier to do at home.
Hellmitioksldf 4y ago
Depends on the company size; My team sits in a different office on a different continent. I do not get any 'magic' office knowledge in the office. And frankly its unfair anyway.
- einherjae 4y ago
  What is unfair? That in office people get knowledge and discussions that WFH don’t? If so, how is it any fairer to level the playing field to the point where nobody gets that? (No, it will never have the same flow virtually, over the past two years it’s become clear that virtual meetings are always formal to some degree)
culopatin 4y ago
I don’t get any hotel death at home. I’ve become closer to my neighbors and people I pick to be with, not people I’m forced to be with. I don’t want to hear Bob’s stories from 1980 about some Pontiac he used to own and how fast he was and how cool he felt for 20hs a week because he can’t get a clue. I get soul death being prisoner in a fluorescent tube jail that keeps me away from the sun all winter and barely lets me see it during the rest of the year.

whoomp12342 4y ago

> At the office you meet a lot of nice people is this satire? many office people are "nice to your face"

Gravityloss 4y ago
Not satire. My company at least really has a lot of nice people. Also my other jobs have been like that. The same has happened to me at university or school. Not all people are nice but you don't then need to always spend so much time with those.
krageon 4y ago
Most people are neither nice nor interesting. Generally the response to this is "get to know them better", which is tedious as it implies everything is nice as long as you know enough about it. This is also not true. There is a lot more value in having good, supportive friends. Those you can choose.

vidarh 4y ago

I don't work to meet people. If I want to meet people I do so elsewhere.

einherjae 4y ago
Consider that the world has introverts and extroverts. Consider also that your job is something you spend the majority of your waking hours doing. Consider then that the extroverts might prefer that to have some level of socialization. The extroverts have been made quite aware of how the introverts prefer things to be in the past few years, and may now be aware that the extroverts had the upper hand before. It must be feasible to strike a decent middleground.
- krageon 4y ago
  The middle ground is having extroverts socialise somewhere where it's not a demand that inflicts harm on other people. Where folks can be of their own free will.
  - einherjae 4y ago
    Nah, it’s not. Not at all. You’re asking a portion of the population that thrives on socialization to avoid that for the majority of the day. That is just as bad as insisting on forcing that on the introverts.
    - Volundr 4y ago
      No one is asking that. They are asking that they not be dragged into the office in order to fill someone else's need for socializing at the expense of their own we'll being. If other people want to work at the office more power too them, but if not enough people want an to be in the office to fill their need for socializing, they are being asked to find it elsewhere instead of trying to force everyone else to fill their needs.
      - einherjae 4y ago
        I don’t think you appreciate how bad full remote work can be for someone that thrives on having people around them. But I do appreciate the point you make here, asking others to do something they don’t appreciate just because you want to have people around, is not really a viable solution either. Then again, humans are intrinsically social animals. And communication does work better for some purposes when done in person. The point I’m trying to raise is that there should exist a decent middle ground that lets introverts and extroverts thrive in the same companies. Possibly by asking both to give a bit. But that point is somewhat incompatible with the “full remote is the way”-stance that seems to be very popular in at least a vocal part of crowds like HN.

hungryforcodes 4y ago

Why do I want to meet people at work? What is hotel death? Why do I need mental peer support? Co-workers usually cause the problems.

dr-detroit 4y ago
[dead]
nerdchum 4y ago
Yeah I need mental peer support BECAUSE of my coworkers. The work itself is enjoyable.

emptyfile 4y ago

[dead]

rightbyte 4y ago

> You get hotel death at home. Is that some idiom? You mean like isolation sickness?

Gravityloss 4y ago
Hmm yes maybe it doesn't exist as-is in English. It's when you just stay at the hotel room alone or with a very small company of people. One would think it'd be nice with no chores etc. But people actually tend to find it very unpleasant after a while. People like rock stars have something like this and then it increases the likelihood of substance abuse.

dickersnoodle 4y ago

This sounds really bogus to me. On the one hand you pick days with few meetings so you can go hang out and have "ad hoc encounters"; on the other hand, you write and have meetings at home because they're so much easier to do at home.

Hellmitioksldf 4y ago

Depends on the company size; My team sits in a different office on a different continent. I do not get any 'magic' office knowledge in the office. And frankly its unfair anyway.

einherjae 4y ago
What is unfair? That in office people get knowledge and discussions that WFH don’t? If so, how is it any fairer to level the playing field to the point where nobody gets that? (No, it will never have the same flow virtually, over the past two years it’s become clear that virtual meetings are always formal to some degree)

culopatin 4y ago

I don’t get any hotel death at home. I’ve become closer to my neighbors and people I pick to be with, not people I’m forced to be with. I don’t want to hear Bob’s stories from 1980 about some Pontiac he used to own and how fast he was and how cool he felt for 20hs a week because he can’t get a clue. I get soul death being prisoner in a fluorescent tube jail that keeps me away from the sun all winter and barely lets me see it during the rest of the year.