4 ms·

This is much more than a one person's problem, but it's a general issue that many older people with well-established lives don't sympathize with unfortunately.

This is much more than a one person's problem, but it's a general issue that many older people with well-established lives don't sympathize with unfortunately. As much as others can deny, work is source of most people's friendships, relationships, mentorships, and other social interactions. There's hardly a substitute for that outside.

camgunz 4y ago
It's a symptom of societies that require you to work way too much and get everything (status, health care, socialization) from your job.
- bee_rider 4y ago
  This is true but also “fix all of society” is a hard first step and there are folks who are unhappy now.
  - camgunz 4y ago
    Oh I'm not saying that, I'm saying this is HN and most people posting here have the ability to take a step back from work and build a social life for the sake of their mental health. Working yourself literally to death isn't cool. I also think it's fair to say that a lot of people are happy going to work and a lot of people really aren't. I feel like all of these threads are super passionate with one side trying to convince the (super unconvince-able) other side, which is why my responses are something like "get a situation together that works for you". "Convince millions of other people they're wrong and you're right about something they care about deeply" is a steeper climb.
- asdadsdad 4y ago
  Would you like college to be remote too? School? Let's all wake up in our pijamas, hop on a zoom and live most of our lives like that?
  - ipaddr 4y ago
    For many college is remote. That's the new norm for many.
    - Volundr 4y ago
      It was common even before the pandemic. Plenty of colleges offered certain courses or even full degrees remotely.
  - camgunz 4y ago
    > Would you like college to be remote too? I think the university system is pretty hamstrung by the number of students it can accept. A lot of grad programs are coming online (I used to work at 2U which does this) and this is good both for students and the school as more students get an education and the school gets more income. Whether or not I want it to happen (I think it's probably an important part of reforming the university system) it seems like it's happening anyway. > School? I think most studies show this is pretty bad, so no. > Let's all wake up in our pijamas, hop on a zoom Probably twice a week I get through the whole work day in my PJs and I'm great at my job, so that sounds fine. > live most of our lives like that? Nah I'll go to the grocery store in the AM for supplies in my PJs but that's the extent of it.
  - Jorengarenar 4y ago
    Yes! Yes! So much yes! It's time saving AND money saving
Adraghast 4y ago
> general issue that many older people with well-established lives don't sympathize with unfortunately Many young adults have friends. > As much as others can deny, work is source of most people's friendships, relationships, mentorships, and other social interactions. I will deny it. Citation or speak for yourself.
Volundr 4y ago
> This is much more than a one person's problem 100% agree, that was poor phrasing on my part, it was meant to communicate where the responsibility for fixing the problem lies, not claim the problem was isolated to a single, or even small number of people. > There's hardly a substitute for that outside. Strongly, 100% disagree. Work friendships tend to be fleeting, causing job loss or retirement to be isolating events. Yes lasting friendships can and do form in the workplace (I've formed some even while working remotely!), but getting laid off is a great way to discover just how many of those work friendships were of convenience. Meanwhile there are tons of ways to meet people outside of work. Dance classes, workshops, exercise classes, book clubs, beekeeping clubs, etc. I submit that a person who can't form friendships outside of work is unlikely to form the lasting kind at work, and is better off in the long run examining why that is, rather than papering over it with a temporary bandaide.
- asdadsdad 4y ago
  I see what you mean now. Good points.
JohnFen 4y ago
> As much as others can deny, work is source of most people's friendships, relationships, mentorships, and other social interactions. And other commenters assert that most people don't get those things at work. I think it's easy to mistake our own experiences as being similar to "most people". We should probably try to avoid ascribing our own preferences as being the same as the majority's. Also, in the case of something as personal as friendships, it doesn't actually matter what "most people" do.

camgunz 4y ago

It's a symptom of societies that require you to work way too much and get everything (status, health care, socialization) from your job.

bee_rider 4y ago
This is true but also “fix all of society” is a hard first step and there are folks who are unhappy now.
- camgunz 4y ago
  Oh I'm not saying that, I'm saying this is HN and most people posting here have the ability to take a step back from work and build a social life for the sake of their mental health. Working yourself literally to death isn't cool. I also think it's fair to say that a lot of people are happy going to work and a lot of people really aren't. I feel like all of these threads are super passionate with one side trying to convince the (super unconvince-able) other side, which is why my responses are something like "get a situation together that works for you". "Convince millions of other people they're wrong and you're right about something they care about deeply" is a steeper climb.
asdadsdad 4y ago
Would you like college to be remote too? School? Let's all wake up in our pijamas, hop on a zoom and live most of our lives like that?
- ipaddr 4y ago
  For many college is remote. That's the new norm for many.
  - Volundr 4y ago
    It was common even before the pandemic. Plenty of colleges offered certain courses or even full degrees remotely.
- camgunz 4y ago
  > Would you like college to be remote too? I think the university system is pretty hamstrung by the number of students it can accept. A lot of grad programs are coming online (I used to work at 2U which does this) and this is good both for students and the school as more students get an education and the school gets more income. Whether or not I want it to happen (I think it's probably an important part of reforming the university system) it seems like it's happening anyway. > School? I think most studies show this is pretty bad, so no. > Let's all wake up in our pijamas, hop on a zoom Probably twice a week I get through the whole work day in my PJs and I'm great at my job, so that sounds fine. > live most of our lives like that? Nah I'll go to the grocery store in the AM for supplies in my PJs but that's the extent of it.
- Jorengarenar 4y ago
  Yes! Yes! So much yes! It's time saving AND money saving

Adraghast 4y ago

> general issue that many older people with well-established lives don't sympathize with unfortunately Many young adults have friends. > As much as others can deny, work is source of most people's friendships, relationships, mentorships, and other social interactions. I will deny it. Citation or speak for yourself.

Volundr 4y ago

> This is much more than a one person's problem 100% agree, that was poor phrasing on my part, it was meant to communicate where the responsibility for fixing the problem lies, not claim the problem was isolated to a single, or even small number of people. > There's hardly a substitute for that outside. Strongly, 100% disagree. Work friendships tend to be fleeting, causing job loss or retirement to be isolating events. Yes lasting friendships can and do form in the workplace (I've formed some even while working remotely!), but getting laid off is a great way to discover just how many of those work friendships were of convenience. Meanwhile there are tons of ways to meet people outside of work. Dance classes, workshops, exercise classes, book clubs, beekeeping clubs, etc. I submit that a person who can't form friendships outside of work is unlikely to form the lasting kind at work, and is better off in the long run examining why that is, rather than papering over it with a temporary bandaide.

asdadsdad 4y ago
I see what you mean now. Good points.

JohnFen 4y ago

> As much as others can deny, work is source of most people's friendships, relationships, mentorships, and other social interactions. And other commenters assert that most people don't get those things at work. I think it's easy to mistake our own experiences as being similar to "most people". We should probably try to avoid ascribing our own preferences as being the same as the majority's. Also, in the case of something as personal as friendships, it doesn't actually matter what "most people" do.