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> Never made a connection that proved valuable later on. Sorry buddy but that's on you. You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others.

> Never made a connection that proved valuable later on. Sorry buddy but that's on you. You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. Then at some point down the road when they need to hire someone, they remember, hey 'snozolli' was a great coworker, let me see if they're available.

snozolli 4y ago
You're making some really huge assumptions.
- brightball 4y ago
  The exact story of my career and many people I worked with. There's one guy I know who's had companies fighting over him because he was so great to work with.
Clubber 4y ago
>You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. In my experience all my valuable connections have come from me working really hard on the same team as them and being goals oriented and meeting those goals; not wasting time dilly dallying in the hallways. Making meaningful connections in the hallway sounds like a middle manager thing.
- listenallyall 4y ago
  Working really hard and meeting goals == helpful and generous. I'm sure at some point you had a roadblock on a piece of code and a co-worker helped you overcome it, or vice versa. Or you covered for someone that one day when his kid was sick so the team didn't fall behind it's timeline. Being sociable and taking an interest in other people via hallway convos is also a good way to build connections and/or friendships, but that has nothing to do with my earlier comment.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
lolinder 4y ago
What about remote work prevents "being generous and helpful to others"? Or, put differently, what about being in an office makes it easier to be generous and helpful? And before you reply: how sure are you that whatever you come up with applies to everyone and not just to you and people like you? Keep in mind that a lot of people in tech (myself included) are literally digital natives who learned to socialize on the internet before adapting to doing it in person.
- listenallyall 4y ago
  Where did I say you can't be generous or helpful remotely? My comment applies to any type of work (until non-human AI replaces all of us).
  - lolinder 4y ago
    Ah. I think you and I must have interpreted OP's statement very differently. I interpreted it to mean that being physically present in an office never directly contributed to making a connection, not that they literally never had anyone help them out later on.
- RestlessMind 4y ago
  > What about remote work prevents "being generous and helpful to others"? When you spend multiple hours together with someone day after day, you develop a bond. That leads to being generous and helpful and this connection is sorely missing in a fully remote world. > how sure are you that whatever you come up with applies to everyone and not just to you and people like you? No setup will work for every single person. But for most of the humans, in-person interaction helps create better bonds. Here are some research papers[1][2]. Yes, there will be a few outliers who do not like meeting people IRL, but that ultra-small minority should not be dictating policies which go counter to human nature. [1] https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1038/s41598-021-04548-2.pdf https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1038/s41598-021-045... - "In‑person attendance was associated with greater synchronicity in autonomic nervous system activation at the group level, which resulted in more transformative experiences and contributed to stronger identity fusion." [2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563217300559 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S074756321... - "In both experiments, positive affect was higher after in-person support vs. texting."
dennis_jeeves1 4y ago
>You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. Lol. Never knew that, time for me to to go into therapy.
scruple 4y ago
I've used my network for the last decade+ of work. I cofounded a startup because I developed a relationship with my cofounder in the break room at a former employer. We were in different orgs, we'd have never had the chance to develop our relationship in a Zoom-first world. And I say this as someone who's been part time remote since 2014, full time since 2016, and started freelancing remotely back in 2010. I love remote work but, IMO, there's a huge discrepancy between what can happen in-person vs. Zoom.
antisthenes 4y ago
That's on you only if the people you made friends with later advanced to positions of power that can make hiring decisions. I don't think I have to tell you how incredibly lucky that is. Otherwise, they probably just moved on to be another cog in the machine that has no say over hiring.
- listenallyall 4y ago
  No, you're short-sighted. You don't have to be friends with any of these people. You can be generous and helpful to anyone, people above and below you (or even people you don't work with!), it has nothing to do with "being friends." And if you are under 40 (probably under 60), yes, some of your coworkers will advance to positions of power. Nothing to do with luck, it's just numbers. But you can certainly increase your own opportunities by directing your helpfulness, generosity and competency towards as many people as possible.
JohnFen 4y ago
> You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. Why do you assume he doesn't do that?
jsjsof 4y ago
Being generous and helpful only makes people take advantage. You become the guy who knows things and does the work and you never get promoted.

snozolli 4y ago

You're making some really huge assumptions.

brightball 4y ago
The exact story of my career and many people I worked with. There's one guy I know who's had companies fighting over him because he was so great to work with.

Clubber 4y ago

>You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. In my experience all my valuable connections have come from me working really hard on the same team as them and being goals oriented and meeting those goals; not wasting time dilly dallying in the hallways. Making meaningful connections in the hallway sounds like a middle manager thing.

listenallyall 4y ago
Working really hard and meeting goals == helpful and generous. I'm sure at some point you had a roadblock on a piece of code and a co-worker helped you overcome it, or vice versa. Or you covered for someone that one day when his kid was sick so the team didn't fall behind it's timeline. Being sociable and taking an interest in other people via hallway convos is also a good way to build connections and/or friendships, but that has nothing to do with my earlier comment.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]

lolinder 4y ago

What about remote work prevents "being generous and helpful to others"? Or, put differently, what about being in an office makes it easier to be generous and helpful? And before you reply: how sure are you that whatever you come up with applies to everyone and not just to you and people like you? Keep in mind that a lot of people in tech (myself included) are literally digital natives who learned to socialize on the internet before adapting to doing it in person.

listenallyall 4y ago
Where did I say you can't be generous or helpful remotely? My comment applies to any type of work (until non-human AI replaces all of us).
- lolinder 4y ago
  Ah. I think you and I must have interpreted OP's statement very differently. I interpreted it to mean that being physically present in an office never directly contributed to making a connection, not that they literally never had anyone help them out later on.
RestlessMind 4y ago
> What about remote work prevents "being generous and helpful to others"? When you spend multiple hours together with someone day after day, you develop a bond. That leads to being generous and helpful and this connection is sorely missing in a fully remote world. > how sure are you that whatever you come up with applies to everyone and not just to you and people like you? No setup will work for every single person. But for most of the humans, in-person interaction helps create better bonds. Here are some research papers[1][2]. Yes, there will be a few outliers who do not like meeting people IRL, but that ultra-small minority should not be dictating policies which go counter to human nature. [1] https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1038/s41598-021-04548-2.pdf https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1038/s41598-021-045... - "In‑person attendance was associated with greater synchronicity in autonomic nervous system activation at the group level, which resulted in more transformative experiences and contributed to stronger identity fusion." [2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563217300559 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S074756321... - "In both experiments, positive affect was higher after in-person support vs. texting."

dennis_jeeves1 4y ago

>You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. Lol. Never knew that, time for me to to go into therapy.

scruple 4y ago

I've used my network for the last decade+ of work. I cofounded a startup because I developed a relationship with my cofounder in the break room at a former employer. We were in different orgs, we'd have never had the chance to develop our relationship in a Zoom-first world. And I say this as someone who's been part time remote since 2014, full time since 2016, and started freelancing remotely back in 2010. I love remote work but, IMO, there's a huge discrepancy between what can happen in-person vs. Zoom.

antisthenes 4y ago

That's on you only if the people you made friends with later advanced to positions of power that can make hiring decisions. I don't think I have to tell you how incredibly lucky that is. Otherwise, they probably just moved on to be another cog in the machine that has no say over hiring.

listenallyall 4y ago
No, you're short-sighted. You don't have to be friends with any of these people. You can be generous and helpful to anyone, people above and below you (or even people you don't work with!), it has nothing to do with "being friends." And if you are under 40 (probably under 60), yes, some of your coworkers will advance to positions of power. Nothing to do with luck, it's just numbers. But you can certainly increase your own opportunities by directing your helpfulness, generosity and competency towards as many people as possible.

JohnFen 4y ago

> You make valuable connections by being generous and helpful to others. Why do you assume he doesn't do that?

jsjsof 4y ago

Being generous and helpful only makes people take advantage. You become the guy who knows things and does the work and you never get promoted.