6 ms·

> they didn’t like the way my wife had walked our daughter to the bathroom. Sorry, this sounds so absurd you can't just leave us hanging to guess what was spec

> they didn’t like the way my wife had walked our daughter to the bathroom. Sorry, this sounds so absurd you can't just leave us hanging to guess what was specifically claimed ;) In a similar vein, in my family we had a complaint to social care worker that our Grandma (who was immobile in a bed and without verbal contact because of terminal Alzheimer) was improperly taken care of. But as my mom is a nurse who did all the feeding, cleaning 2x a day and installed anti bedsore mattress, no fucking way. We know 99% that the complaint was from one of the people in the family, as almost nobody else knew or cared what was going on.

Scubabear68 4y ago
My daughter was having a very bad day, very pouty and whiny. Around age 8 or so. My wife had put her in a timeout, and then our daughter kept “needing” to go to the bathroom over and over again (usually to play in the sink). Fed up with this, my exasperated wife force marched her to the bathroom with her hand on her back to ensure she went to the bathroom and wasn’t loitering about playing. A parent from the other team was sitting in our group and disapproved loudly of the timeout and the forced bathroom match, she almost certainly was the one who complained.
- wil421 4y ago
  I have a 3 year old. She hates going to bet and was having a tantrum for a while last night. She’s smart and figured out we will take her out of the bedroom if she says she has to pee pee. After 4 times of playing around in the bathroom and only one time actually using it she finally went to bed after asking me to adjust the covers 30 times. All of this is normal kid stuff. What kind of parent is so spiteful they will call child services on an opposing teams parents?
  - spoils19 4y ago
    [flagged]
    - callalex 4y ago
      You need a media break, identity politics is consuming you.
      - xydinesh 4y ago
        I totally agree. If someone making a generalization, chances are they may be wrong.
  - ninjagoo 4y ago
    > All of this is normal kid stuff. What kind of parent is so spiteful they will call child services on an opposing teams parents? An ugly person.
  - Scubabear68 4y ago
    It was a NJ/NY tournament with a lot of rivalry and prestige for the winners. Some parents get very, ridiculously caught up in the excitement of their kids' sports, and a very small number go too far. I have seen parents fighting in the stands at 10U football games (10 and under). I have heard parents screaming at coaches threatening to sue them. I have seen parents mocking and degrading the opposing team's kids. I have seen parents encouraging taunts and chants from the crowd to throw off a pitcher or a quarter back. I've seen a nasty, abusive man ejected from a high school building entirely for cursing and screaming at opposing kids. And of course we had CPS called on us. It's only a very small percentage, but they really ruin the experience for everyone.
    - ballenf 4y ago
      It's even less serious stuff than this that has me thinking kids' involvement in those leagues isn't net-positive. But I'm sure there are more positive experiences than negative. And I'd probably think differently if I was super competitive or more sports-oriented.
      - PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
        The issue is not the kids' involvement, it's the parents'. (former lacrosse and then crew parent)
    - PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
      A 60yr old died during some incident like this in Michigan during the last couple of days.
      - Scubabear68 4y ago
        And sometimes coaches are bad actors too, here a coach broke a 72 year old ref’s jaw: https://www.nj.com/news/2022/06/nj-youth-baseball-umpire-violently-attacked-by-coach-needed-surgery-for-broken-jaw.html?outputType=amp https://www.nj.com/news/2022/06/nj-youth-baseball-umpire-vio...
    - 4y ago
  - masklinn 4y ago
    > I have a 3 year old. She hates going to bet My brother in christ 3 years old is a bit young to hit the tables.
    - wil421 4y ago
      Sigh. Not sure why it’s so difficult to comment on my phone vs a computer.
      - masklinn 4y ago
        Small keyboard + autocorrect is just stupid. I have the same issue, and I still regularly miss typos even though I try to QC before posting. Either that or mini-strokes. At least this was funny and easy to understand, sometimes I’m careless and it’s such complete gibberish if I come back to the comment an hour later I don’t understand what I wanted to write.
        mjevans 4y ago
        Autoincorrect can be bad enough, but speech to text can deliver some really concerning mistakes.
        masklinn 4y ago
        I don’t even try TTS, Siri is unable to grok even basic commands.
        efreak 4y ago
        Not sure about STT (TTS is reading out articles, etc) but when it comes to autocorrect, Google seems worse. Any time a seeming typo starts getting common, I nearly always recognize it as an Android thing. Maybe Apple's autocorrect doesn't try to change your words, but Google constantly does. Just a few weeks ago the big one was changing `lets` to `let's`, to the point that I changed my wording and just used `allows` to avoid making corrections. I will see a number of posts on Reddit and occasionally here on HN with this mistake. It seems to have stopped for me around last week, but I expect a different common word will be butchered soon.
ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago
We had a complaint like this for my dad when he was near the end. We got in a verbal argument with a care worker who wouldn't do anything when she came to take care of him, wouldn't feed him, clean him, talk or even look at him. Except for the few times where she screamed at him she just waited for her time to leave. After the argument she sent a complaint letter to the local government claiming he was improperly taken care of (even though we cared for him every day in addition to paying people like her to help). Here is where it gets good: He was put under care of the state until the matter was resolved, with a state appointed curator who received a percentage of his pension as payment and had full control of all decisions related to his care as well as his bank account. That meant we could no longer make accommodations in his house without their approval, every decision we took for him had to go through them. We had to pay for the large costs of care ourselves because it's not remotely realistic to go through the government to expense food, hygiene supplies and everything needed to take care of an elderly man near death. In addition to that we couldn't get rid of the agency that provided the abusive care workers, they made sure to make buddy-buddy with the curator and to paint us as abusers. We went to his home every day to care for him and we would see the care workers just sitting there doing nothing, perfectly aware we were powerless to change anything or even throw them out. Eventually, after months of legal costs and being treated like abusers, we got in front of a judge and we were put back in charge after my dad begged for it. He was very close to the end then and I will always be bitter at how the state and these people conspired to take him away from us and prevent us from getting him better care during his final months.
- mcv 4y ago
  The person who doesn't properly care for your dad, complains that he's not properly cared for, and thereby ensures that he gets worse care? That is backwards in every possible way. How is any of that shit legal?
- freedude 4y ago
  This is horrific and is caused by the pride of those who are too lazy to lift a finger. Just know that bitterness will only poison you from the inside out. Don't allow this to fester or it will make you like them. I have seen the effects of this in my own family and it ends in evil.
bpodgursky 4y ago
The OP in this case has an idea what happened, but in general CPS has no legal obligation to tell you what you are accused of. You're defending yourself without knowing the charge, with the investigator/judge/jury CPS agent presuming you are at least somewhat guilty.
bluGill 4y ago
This is an N=1 story. There are 7-8 billion people on earth, 300 some million in the US, I forget how many in Europe (you can measure Europe, EU, NATO, and get different results and different cultures). With that many people there will always be someone doing something unbelievable stupid, and hackernews is large enough that you are likely to hear about it. Be careful that you don't try to extrapolate a few N=1 stories into how normal people act.
- worik 4y ago
  It is an anecdote Saying "This is an N=1 story." is a bit disingenuous Acting on anecdotal evidence is premature, sure, but no one here is making law, or even policy. We are sharing. N is getting bigger
- 2muchcoffeeman 4y ago
  It makes you wonder what the appropriate level of cynicism is though. I assume you mean N=1 in an order of magnitude sense. But one person saw these kids and phoned it in. A cop returns the kids home with a warning. 3 more cops show up the next day and arrests the man only (but both parents should be negligent should they not???) and then some social workers appear. How many people heard about this and decided to waste time and resources either wilfully or unwittingly, and is that a reflection of the state law enforcement and social services?
  - brewdad 4y ago
    Many (most?) states have mandatory reporting laws. People in certain positions (doctors, teachers, social workers, etc.) are required to report even an inkling of suspected abuse. I'm sure multiple people in the chain knew this was nonsense but none was willing to put their own career and/or freedom on the line for it.
- ribs 4y ago
  I don’t share this concern about over-estimating this bad behavior. Yes, normal people don’t do this. But there are a lot of people who take advantage of other people, leverage authority (their own, or others), and even tell themselves that they’re doing the right thing. That’s not super uncommon. And true scammers aren’t super rare.

Scubabear68 4y ago

My daughter was having a very bad day, very pouty and whiny. Around age 8 or so. My wife had put her in a timeout, and then our daughter kept “needing” to go to the bathroom over and over again (usually to play in the sink). Fed up with this, my exasperated wife force marched her to the bathroom with her hand on her back to ensure she went to the bathroom and wasn’t loitering about playing. A parent from the other team was sitting in our group and disapproved loudly of the timeout and the forced bathroom match, she almost certainly was the one who complained.

wil421 4y ago
I have a 3 year old. She hates going to bet and was having a tantrum for a while last night. She’s smart and figured out we will take her out of the bedroom if she says she has to pee pee. After 4 times of playing around in the bathroom and only one time actually using it she finally went to bed after asking me to adjust the covers 30 times. All of this is normal kid stuff. What kind of parent is so spiteful they will call child services on an opposing teams parents?
- spoils19 4y ago
  [flagged]
  - callalex 4y ago
    You need a media break, identity politics is consuming you.
    - xydinesh 4y ago
      I totally agree. If someone making a generalization, chances are they may be wrong.
- ninjagoo 4y ago
  > All of this is normal kid stuff. What kind of parent is so spiteful they will call child services on an opposing teams parents? An ugly person.
- Scubabear68 4y ago
  It was a NJ/NY tournament with a lot of rivalry and prestige for the winners. Some parents get very, ridiculously caught up in the excitement of their kids' sports, and a very small number go too far. I have seen parents fighting in the stands at 10U football games (10 and under). I have heard parents screaming at coaches threatening to sue them. I have seen parents mocking and degrading the opposing team's kids. I have seen parents encouraging taunts and chants from the crowd to throw off a pitcher or a quarter back. I've seen a nasty, abusive man ejected from a high school building entirely for cursing and screaming at opposing kids. And of course we had CPS called on us. It's only a very small percentage, but they really ruin the experience for everyone.
  - ballenf 4y ago
    It's even less serious stuff than this that has me thinking kids' involvement in those leagues isn't net-positive. But I'm sure there are more positive experiences than negative. And I'd probably think differently if I was super competitive or more sports-oriented.
    - PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
      The issue is not the kids' involvement, it's the parents'. (former lacrosse and then crew parent)
  - PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
    A 60yr old died during some incident like this in Michigan during the last couple of days.
    - Scubabear68 4y ago
      And sometimes coaches are bad actors too, here a coach broke a 72 year old ref’s jaw: https://www.nj.com/news/2022/06/nj-youth-baseball-umpire-violently-attacked-by-coach-needed-surgery-for-broken-jaw.html?outputType=amp https://www.nj.com/news/2022/06/nj-youth-baseball-umpire-vio...
  - 4y ago
- masklinn 4y ago
  > I have a 3 year old. She hates going to bet My brother in christ 3 years old is a bit young to hit the tables.
  - wil421 4y ago
    Sigh. Not sure why it’s so difficult to comment on my phone vs a computer.
    - masklinn 4y ago
      Small keyboard + autocorrect is just stupid. I have the same issue, and I still regularly miss typos even though I try to QC before posting. Either that or mini-strokes. At least this was funny and easy to understand, sometimes I’m careless and it’s such complete gibberish if I come back to the comment an hour later I don’t understand what I wanted to write.
      - mjevans 4y ago
        Autoincorrect can be bad enough, but speech to text can deliver some really concerning mistakes.
        masklinn 4y ago
        I don’t even try TTS, Siri is unable to grok even basic commands.
        efreak 4y ago
        Not sure about STT (TTS is reading out articles, etc) but when it comes to autocorrect, Google seems worse. Any time a seeming typo starts getting common, I nearly always recognize it as an Android thing. Maybe Apple's autocorrect doesn't try to change your words, but Google constantly does. Just a few weeks ago the big one was changing `lets` to `let's`, to the point that I changed my wording and just used `allows` to avoid making corrections. I will see a number of posts on Reddit and occasionally here on HN with this mistake. It seems to have stopped for me around last week, but I expect a different common word will be butchered soon.

ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago

We had a complaint like this for my dad when he was near the end. We got in a verbal argument with a care worker who wouldn't do anything when she came to take care of him, wouldn't feed him, clean him, talk or even look at him. Except for the few times where she screamed at him she just waited for her time to leave. After the argument she sent a complaint letter to the local government claiming he was improperly taken care of (even though we cared for him every day in addition to paying people like her to help). Here is where it gets good: He was put under care of the state until the matter was resolved, with a state appointed curator who received a percentage of his pension as payment and had full control of all decisions related to his care as well as his bank account. That meant we could no longer make accommodations in his house without their approval, every decision we took for him had to go through them. We had to pay for the large costs of care ourselves because it's not remotely realistic to go through the government to expense food, hygiene supplies and everything needed to take care of an elderly man near death. In addition to that we couldn't get rid of the agency that provided the abusive care workers, they made sure to make buddy-buddy with the curator and to paint us as abusers. We went to his home every day to care for him and we would see the care workers just sitting there doing nothing, perfectly aware we were powerless to change anything or even throw them out. Eventually, after months of legal costs and being treated like abusers, we got in front of a judge and we were put back in charge after my dad begged for it. He was very close to the end then and I will always be bitter at how the state and these people conspired to take him away from us and prevent us from getting him better care during his final months.

mcv 4y ago
The person who doesn't properly care for your dad, complains that he's not properly cared for, and thereby ensures that he gets worse care? That is backwards in every possible way. How is any of that shit legal?
freedude 4y ago
This is horrific and is caused by the pride of those who are too lazy to lift a finger. Just know that bitterness will only poison you from the inside out. Don't allow this to fester or it will make you like them. I have seen the effects of this in my own family and it ends in evil.

bpodgursky 4y ago

The OP in this case has an idea what happened, but in general CPS has no legal obligation to tell you what you are accused of. You're defending yourself without knowing the charge, with the investigator/judge/jury CPS agent presuming you are at least somewhat guilty.

bluGill 4y ago

This is an N=1 story. There are 7-8 billion people on earth, 300 some million in the US, I forget how many in Europe (you can measure Europe, EU, NATO, and get different results and different cultures). With that many people there will always be someone doing something unbelievable stupid, and hackernews is large enough that you are likely to hear about it. Be careful that you don't try to extrapolate a few N=1 stories into how normal people act.

worik 4y ago
It is an anecdote Saying "This is an N=1 story." is a bit disingenuous Acting on anecdotal evidence is premature, sure, but no one here is making law, or even policy. We are sharing. N is getting bigger
2muchcoffeeman 4y ago
It makes you wonder what the appropriate level of cynicism is though. I assume you mean N=1 in an order of magnitude sense. But one person saw these kids and phoned it in. A cop returns the kids home with a warning. 3 more cops show up the next day and arrests the man only (but both parents should be negligent should they not???) and then some social workers appear. How many people heard about this and decided to waste time and resources either wilfully or unwittingly, and is that a reflection of the state law enforcement and social services?
- brewdad 4y ago
  Many (most?) states have mandatory reporting laws. People in certain positions (doctors, teachers, social workers, etc.) are required to report even an inkling of suspected abuse. I'm sure multiple people in the chain knew this was nonsense but none was willing to put their own career and/or freedom on the line for it.
ribs 4y ago
I don’t share this concern about over-estimating this bad behavior. Yes, normal people don’t do this. But there are a lot of people who take advantage of other people, leverage authority (their own, or others), and even tell themselves that they’re doing the right thing. That’s not super uncommon. And true scammers aren’t super rare.