5 ms·

I love how you cannot imagine a world where the women is the high earned, pretty insanely conservative to me.

ameminator 4y ago
Unfortunately, the current trend is for women to marry around the same income/social class, so it seems by personal choice women are marrying these types of people.
- HeyLaughingBoy 4y ago
  The current trend? When has it ever been the trend for people to marry outside their income level or social class?
  - ameminator 4y ago
    It's a very long trend
polio 4y ago
You can imagine it, but it isn't typical.
toomuchtodo 4y ago
https://www.google.com/search?q=why+women+dont+date+down https://www.google.com/search?q=why+women+dont+date+down https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22407388 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22407388 https://hbr.org/2002/04/executive-women-and-the-myth-of-having-it-all https://hbr.org/2002/04/executive-women-and-the-myth-of-havi... (Control-F “Slim pickings in partners”) > Let’s start with the fact that professional women find it challenging even to be married—for most, a necessary precondition for childbearing. Only 60% of high-achieving women in the older age group are married, and this figure falls to 57% in corporate America. By contrast, 76% of older men are married, and this figure rises to 83% among ultra-achievers. > “The hard fact is that most successful men are not interested in acquiring an ambitious peer as a partner.”
unsupp0rted 4y ago
Typically women don't like to marry down in income and earning potential. When they do, it's done reluctantly because the clock is ticking or they're tired of being forever alone and have lowered their standards. Anecdotally, I've yet to see a marriage in my peer group where the woman marries down to last more than a handful of years. Men almost always have no problem marrying down in terms of income & earning potential, as long as their partner is otherwise supportive (i.e. not just using them). (Obviously unless they're looking to do FIRE or DINK or something: i.e. where dual income, retire early is the life goal)
- dmoy 4y ago
  Among our friends I can think of at least three immediately - partnered accountant (f) + teacher (m), some senior executive at a f500 (f) + professor (m), senior auditor (f) + line chef (m). The former two going for 5-10+ years with multiple kids, etc. Probably could think of more if I asked my wife, because I don't keep track of who works where. I think you were correct up until somewhere around 2015-ish, when there was an inflection point on who marries down more often (now it's women marrying down more often than men).
  - xyzelement 4y ago
    What percentage of your couple-friends is that? Chances are you know many more couples that exhibit the opposite pattern.
    - dmoy 4y ago
      Like about 30%
Kamq 4y ago
> I love how you cannot imagine a world where the women is the high earned That doesn't necessarily imply they can't imagine a woman who earns decent money. It implies that the women earning high salaries aren't dating men that have low salaries (either dating men who also have high salaries or are single).

Unfortunately, the current trend is for women to marry around the same income/social class, so it seems by personal choice women are marrying these types of people.

HeyLaughingBoy 4y ago
The current trend? When has it ever been the trend for people to marry outside their income level or social class?
- ameminator 4y ago
  It's a very long trend

polio 4y ago

You can imagine it, but it isn't typical.

toomuchtodo 4y ago

https://www.google.com/search?q=why+women+dont+date+down https://www.google.com/search?q=why+women+dont+date+down https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22407388 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22407388 https://hbr.org/2002/04/executive-women-and-the-myth-of-having-it-all https://hbr.org/2002/04/executive-women-and-the-myth-of-havi... (Control-F “Slim pickings in partners”) > Let’s start with the fact that professional women find it challenging even to be married—for most, a necessary precondition for childbearing. Only 60% of high-achieving women in the older age group are married, and this figure falls to 57% in corporate America. By contrast, 76% of older men are married, and this figure rises to 83% among ultra-achievers. > “The hard fact is that most successful men are not interested in acquiring an ambitious peer as a partner.”

unsupp0rted 4y ago

Typically women don't like to marry down in income and earning potential. When they do, it's done reluctantly because the clock is ticking or they're tired of being forever alone and have lowered their standards. Anecdotally, I've yet to see a marriage in my peer group where the woman marries down to last more than a handful of years. Men almost always have no problem marrying down in terms of income & earning potential, as long as their partner is otherwise supportive (i.e. not just using them). (Obviously unless they're looking to do FIRE or DINK or something: i.e. where dual income, retire early is the life goal)

dmoy 4y ago
Among our friends I can think of at least three immediately - partnered accountant (f) + teacher (m), some senior executive at a f500 (f) + professor (m), senior auditor (f) + line chef (m). The former two going for 5-10+ years with multiple kids, etc. Probably could think of more if I asked my wife, because I don't keep track of who works where. I think you were correct up until somewhere around 2015-ish, when there was an inflection point on who marries down more often (now it's women marrying down more often than men).
- xyzelement 4y ago
  What percentage of your couple-friends is that? Chances are you know many more couples that exhibit the opposite pattern.
  - dmoy 4y ago
    Like about 30%

Kamq 4y ago

> I love how you cannot imagine a world where the women is the high earned That doesn't necessarily imply they can't imagine a woman who earns decent money. It implies that the women earning high salaries aren't dating men that have low salaries (either dating men who also have high salaries or are single).