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I graduated right around the time Covid hit, and I feel like that wrecked my social life irreparably. I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other w

I graduated right around the time Covid hit, and I feel like that wrecked my social life irreparably. I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other week or so (nobody wants to hang out 1 to 1 every day), but all my friend groups dissipated. Some moved away, some moved on, some just stopped moving at all. I feel miserable and every couple of nights I have dreams of a Third Place where I can just go and make friends with strangers. It's been like 3 years since I went to a club, houseparty, or even a larger get-together (5+ people) outside of birthday drinks, and it's heartbreaking.

Aromasin 4y ago
Things I've done to successfully restart my social life after Covid in the last year: * Restarted Crossfit. Social events have included BBQ's, meals out, trips away (normally CF related, but still great fun). Every box I've been to have been full of fun and interesting people. * Joined my local Wargaming/Boardgame club. Sit around drinking and playing games with a very varied bunch of people. Lots of nerds and the occasional odd person, but they're very much my people. * Started playing Rugby again. Team sports are an almost instant way to make a big group of friends quickly. Frequently go out for a drink or to train. A boisterous crowd as you can imagine, but all happy to go above and beyond should you be struggling. * Joined language evening classes at my local college. Dinners out, holidays had. I've met people from all over the world here. * Made effort to go to lots of music festivals and talk to people nearby in the camp site and the crowd. I have a large group of friends from there, who I go to gigs/raves all over the country with. How do I find time? CrossFit at 5:40 every morning before work. Language classes Monday evening. Rugby training Tuesday and Thursday evening. Board game club Wednesday eve. Weekends for time with family/partner/trips to visit friends in other cities/countries. Obviously that shifts around a lot depending on what's happening, but I try to keep the habit. It's a slog, and I'm exhausted a lot of the time, but I wouldn't trade the life I have now for the world. I used to spend my evenings just consuming media before I went to bed. I quit almost all of that (TV, YouTube, video games, social media) at the beginning of 2021 and forced myself to fill my calendar to the brim. It's the best decision I've ever made.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- red-iron-pine 4y ago
  [flagged]
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - justnotworthit 4y ago
    Both our replies are wholly unnecessary.
  - curiousllama 4y ago
    > your post reeks of DINK and youth Did you notice that they’re talking to a new grad? “I can’t believe a young person would suggest youth oriented thing to another young person!”
  - Aromasin 4y ago
    So pick a sport that isn't injury prone to better suit the person? I do it because it's fun and challenging, and brings me back to my own military days. Switch CrossFit for swimming/cycling and rugby for soccer, tennis. or basketball. I'm replying to a recent college grad, and recommending things that worked for me. God forbid I try to help someone, with some simply suggestions of things that worked for me when I was in their situation just over a year ago. Your comment reads as very bitter to be frank.
    - mixmastamyk 4y ago
      What a dumb, deafeatist response from red-iron-pine. You wrote well. Would also like to add partner dancing to the list. Fun, exercise, and opportunity to chat up new friends.
anhner 4y ago
> I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other week or so Is that so abnormal? I have the same experience after graduating a few years ago but always thought that was what happens to most people. Other than the friends you made in college, you can always find new people through hobbies or work.
- activitypea 4y ago
  Oh no, if anything I've been super lucky in that regard. It's just that a dinner with 2 good friends is a much different vibe from a barbecue with 15 people, 10 of which you've never met, and I miss the latter, especially post-covid :\
christkv 4y ago
Look up volunteer associations of all kinds. I have a bunch of friends volunteering at everything from museums to food banks and churches and it's a way to grow your group with people of all ages. Meetups or other platforms also have real world hangouts based on interests. It takes some effort but it's totally doable. Try to do it with two kids lol.
ilaksh 4y ago
"Heartbreaking"? Try having no friends, at all, that have hung out with you regularly, in more than 25 years?
- komaromy 4y ago
  That your situation is of a different magnitude (and it sounds terrible; I'm sorry) does not make the relative change in another person's life any easier.
wkat4242 4y ago
These third places do exist. I've restarted my social life successfully too, mostly with risky different people. In fact I just moved here before the pandemic so I didn't really have friends before it all started. I tend to move a lot (this is my 4th country) so building new friendships is a fact of life for me. And I'm a very timid and introverted person. If I can do it, so can you!! It's hard to get out of the post-COVID depression though, it takes a lot of effort. But I'm trying to make up for lost time now like I always said I would during the pandemic.

Aromasin 4y ago

Things I've done to successfully restart my social life after Covid in the last year: * Restarted Crossfit. Social events have included BBQ's, meals out, trips away (normally CF related, but still great fun). Every box I've been to have been full of fun and interesting people. * Joined my local Wargaming/Boardgame club. Sit around drinking and playing games with a very varied bunch of people. Lots of nerds and the occasional odd person, but they're very much my people. * Started playing Rugby again. Team sports are an almost instant way to make a big group of friends quickly. Frequently go out for a drink or to train. A boisterous crowd as you can imagine, but all happy to go above and beyond should you be struggling. * Joined language evening classes at my local college. Dinners out, holidays had. I've met people from all over the world here. * Made effort to go to lots of music festivals and talk to people nearby in the camp site and the crowd. I have a large group of friends from there, who I go to gigs/raves all over the country with. How do I find time? CrossFit at 5:40 every morning before work. Language classes Monday evening. Rugby training Tuesday and Thursday evening. Board game club Wednesday eve. Weekends for time with family/partner/trips to visit friends in other cities/countries. Obviously that shifts around a lot depending on what's happening, but I try to keep the habit. It's a slog, and I'm exhausted a lot of the time, but I wouldn't trade the life I have now for the world. I used to spend my evenings just consuming media before I went to bed. I quit almost all of that (TV, YouTube, video games, social media) at the beginning of 2021 and forced myself to fill my calendar to the brim. It's the best decision I've ever made.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
red-iron-pine 4y ago
[flagged]
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- justnotworthit 4y ago
  Both our replies are wholly unnecessary.
- curiousllama 4y ago
  > your post reeks of DINK and youth Did you notice that they’re talking to a new grad? “I can’t believe a young person would suggest youth oriented thing to another young person!”
- Aromasin 4y ago
  So pick a sport that isn't injury prone to better suit the person? I do it because it's fun and challenging, and brings me back to my own military days. Switch CrossFit for swimming/cycling and rugby for soccer, tennis. or basketball. I'm replying to a recent college grad, and recommending things that worked for me. God forbid I try to help someone, with some simply suggestions of things that worked for me when I was in their situation just over a year ago. Your comment reads as very bitter to be frank.
  - mixmastamyk 4y ago
    What a dumb, deafeatist response from red-iron-pine. You wrote well. Would also like to add partner dancing to the list. Fun, exercise, and opportunity to chat up new friends.

anhner 4y ago

> I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other week or so Is that so abnormal? I have the same experience after graduating a few years ago but always thought that was what happens to most people. Other than the friends you made in college, you can always find new people through hobbies or work.

activitypea 4y ago
Oh no, if anything I've been super lucky in that regard. It's just that a dinner with 2 good friends is a much different vibe from a barbecue with 15 people, 10 of which you've never met, and I miss the latter, especially post-covid :\

christkv 4y ago

Look up volunteer associations of all kinds. I have a bunch of friends volunteering at everything from museums to food banks and churches and it's a way to grow your group with people of all ages. Meetups or other platforms also have real world hangouts based on interests. It takes some effort but it's totally doable. Try to do it with two kids lol.

ilaksh 4y ago

"Heartbreaking"? Try having no friends, at all, that have hung out with you regularly, in more than 25 years?

komaromy 4y ago
That your situation is of a different magnitude (and it sounds terrible; I'm sorry) does not make the relative change in another person's life any easier.

wkat4242 4y ago

These third places do exist. I've restarted my social life successfully too, mostly with risky different people. In fact I just moved here before the pandemic so I didn't really have friends before it all started. I tend to move a lot (this is my 4th country) so building new friendships is a fact of life for me. And I'm a very timid and introverted person. If I can do it, so can you!! It's hard to get out of the post-COVID depression though, it takes a lot of effort. But I'm trying to make up for lost time now like I always said I would during the pandemic.