4 ms·

an inflated self image seems to be associated with happier less stressed people i found that the more delusional i get myself, the happier i am. maybe bad lon

an inflated self image seems to be associated with happier less stressed people i found that the more delusional i get myself, the happier i am. maybe bad long term but feel better than seeing the “truth”, whatever that is anyways

Jensson 4y ago
Yeah, which is why people tell themselves that their self doubt is just "impostor syndrome", there is no way they actually are bad its just them underestimating themselves! We all know how research shows how humans usually underestimates their own capabilities, right??? But I guess if that makes them happy why not. But it gets old quick when everyone says they have impostor syndrome.
- Apocryphon 4y ago
  Well, the people who have Dunning-Kruger don’t have impostor syndrome. Wonder what the ratio is between the two, and the distribution.
  - dgb23 4y ago
    Nobody seems to be incompetent at anything anymore, but weirdly enough everyone has impostor syndrome now. For me, the nagging, head spinning inner critic that doesn't leave me alone is a major driver for curiosity, learning, creativity and general improvement. Impostor syndrome is when there's clear evidence that you're successful and competent but you still don't believe it and you are _afraid_ that this is uncovered. It is an irrational fear and a brutal delusion. It's one of those where you can get presented objective evidence that the fear is unwarranted but you still can't get rid of it. I never had impostor syndrome, but I can relate to those types of fears and mental challenges. It's very hard work to clear these types of things up. You don't even want to talk about it. People who suck at something do not have impostor syndrome, by definition. What is much more likely is that they are in the phase where they start to get that they suck ("valley of despair"). But that's not a mental blockade induced by crippling fear like impostor syndrome is. Realizing you suck at something calls for _celebration_. The delusion is broken! There's only going to be improvement!
    - Apocryphon 4y ago
      On one hand, there seems to be a society-wide stress engendered by the global events of the last several years, which could explain more and more people have anxiety about many things, including themselves. On the other, sure, when a concept such as impostor syndrome becomes widespread, more people are going to try to weigh themselves against it, and try to appear on the "right side" of it. Thus, in almost in a humblebrag manner, dismiss flaws as self-doubt or lack of confidence. > The delusion is broken! There's only going to be improvement! Not everyone has the same productive inner critic. Some people can be self-critical to the point of paralysis, to the extent of wallowing doubt. To self-loathing and absolute defeatism. Look at the increases in mental illness, addiction, and worse in society. Some inner critics kill, whether a person's potential, or their actual life. Now, the OP uses a generic one-size-fits-all, vapidly positive self-help soothing solution, which might not help a lot of people. And so it becomes easy to dismiss, and to dismiss impostor syndrome as simply an excuse. But I'm just reminding you that not everyone is able to step up to challenges in the same way. Not everyone has a healthy growth mindset to overcome one's mental blockades. Some do lose themselves in the valley of despair, and could benefit from self-affirmation. Maybe just not the basic content-written approach in the OP.
      - dgb23 4y ago
        I experienced some of the issue you described. But in my above comment I generalized my own experience too much. For me personally, it was a combination of kindness and brutal honesty that helped me to overcome these challenges. Well meaning bullshit only worsened my self-perception. For me it meant that my inner self-critic got sharper, more precise and clear instead of the carnage it created before. I didn't shut it up or try to soothe it and I'm glad for it. But that's _me_ so thank so for reminding me that it's too easy to generalize these kinds of things.
shrimp_emoji 4y ago
My experience is the opposite. The less I take myself seriously, the more I apply self-compassion, and the less I let my performance/failures define my sense of self, the happier and less stressed I am. I discovered this by accident. I used to be the opposite: my self-image used to be relatively inflated, and my sense of self was tightly integrated with external events. When those external events turned south hard enough to totally shatter my ego, it felt like my brain -- utterly against my will -- decided, "I guess we gotta let go of caring about stuff this hard." I ceased to be able to care as hard (seemingly permanently). I've been happier and chiller ever since. :p
- throwaway98797 4y ago
  i got to the same point but i view it as self denial since i just basically ignore objective reality and assume i’m doing well even if evidence contradicts this people telling me i suck doesn’t bother me because i know their wrong i used to be hyper critical of myself now i don’t worry about it i am what i am

Jensson 4y ago

Yeah, which is why people tell themselves that their self doubt is just "impostor syndrome", there is no way they actually are bad its just them underestimating themselves! We all know how research shows how humans usually underestimates their own capabilities, right??? But I guess if that makes them happy why not. But it gets old quick when everyone says they have impostor syndrome.

Apocryphon 4y ago
Well, the people who have Dunning-Kruger don’t have impostor syndrome. Wonder what the ratio is between the two, and the distribution.
- dgb23 4y ago
  Nobody seems to be incompetent at anything anymore, but weirdly enough everyone has impostor syndrome now. For me, the nagging, head spinning inner critic that doesn't leave me alone is a major driver for curiosity, learning, creativity and general improvement. Impostor syndrome is when there's clear evidence that you're successful and competent but you still don't believe it and you are _afraid_ that this is uncovered. It is an irrational fear and a brutal delusion. It's one of those where you can get presented objective evidence that the fear is unwarranted but you still can't get rid of it. I never had impostor syndrome, but I can relate to those types of fears and mental challenges. It's very hard work to clear these types of things up. You don't even want to talk about it. People who suck at something do not have impostor syndrome, by definition. What is much more likely is that they are in the phase where they start to get that they suck ("valley of despair"). But that's not a mental blockade induced by crippling fear like impostor syndrome is. Realizing you suck at something calls for _celebration_. The delusion is broken! There's only going to be improvement!
  - Apocryphon 4y ago
    On one hand, there seems to be a society-wide stress engendered by the global events of the last several years, which could explain more and more people have anxiety about many things, including themselves. On the other, sure, when a concept such as impostor syndrome becomes widespread, more people are going to try to weigh themselves against it, and try to appear on the "right side" of it. Thus, in almost in a humblebrag manner, dismiss flaws as self-doubt or lack of confidence. > The delusion is broken! There's only going to be improvement! Not everyone has the same productive inner critic. Some people can be self-critical to the point of paralysis, to the extent of wallowing doubt. To self-loathing and absolute defeatism. Look at the increases in mental illness, addiction, and worse in society. Some inner critics kill, whether a person's potential, or their actual life. Now, the OP uses a generic one-size-fits-all, vapidly positive self-help soothing solution, which might not help a lot of people. And so it becomes easy to dismiss, and to dismiss impostor syndrome as simply an excuse. But I'm just reminding you that not everyone is able to step up to challenges in the same way. Not everyone has a healthy growth mindset to overcome one's mental blockades. Some do lose themselves in the valley of despair, and could benefit from self-affirmation. Maybe just not the basic content-written approach in the OP.
    - dgb23 4y ago
      I experienced some of the issue you described. But in my above comment I generalized my own experience too much. For me personally, it was a combination of kindness and brutal honesty that helped me to overcome these challenges. Well meaning bullshit only worsened my self-perception. For me it meant that my inner self-critic got sharper, more precise and clear instead of the carnage it created before. I didn't shut it up or try to soothe it and I'm glad for it. But that's _me_ so thank so for reminding me that it's too easy to generalize these kinds of things.

shrimp_emoji 4y ago

My experience is the opposite. The less I take myself seriously, the more I apply self-compassion, and the less I let my performance/failures define my sense of self, the happier and less stressed I am. I discovered this by accident. I used to be the opposite: my self-image used to be relatively inflated, and my sense of self was tightly integrated with external events. When those external events turned south hard enough to totally shatter my ego, it felt like my brain -- utterly against my will -- decided, "I guess we gotta let go of caring about stuff this hard." I ceased to be able to care as hard (seemingly permanently). I've been happier and chiller ever since. :p

throwaway98797 4y ago
i got to the same point but i view it as self denial since i just basically ignore objective reality and assume i’m doing well even if evidence contradicts this people telling me i suck doesn’t bother me because i know their wrong i used to be hyper critical of myself now i don’t worry about it i am what i am