20 ms·

A cab ride I'll never forget (1999)

1717 points by fileeditview 4y ago

geocrasher 4y ago
Being a mobile computer repair guy, I had some similar experiences. Two stand out. We'll call the first Chris K. He was an older gentlemen who could barely walk in a straight line, stooped over so far as he was. But his energy was far greater than that which is body would let him express. He was a writer who usually needed help figuring out something with his latest book, which he was self-publishing. The computer was tucked into a corner of a large room above his garage where the walls were lined with hundreds of books. This was his lair, his private place where he ruled as king. He told me stories of emigrating from France to the US, becoming a naturalized citizen so that he could join the draft and fight in Vietnam. Of having enough damage done to the right side of his face that he had to have a skin graft, sourced from his buttocks. He told of the joy he had when he invited somebody he didn't like to give him a kiss on the cheek! I would often finish the job and then just listen to his stories for a while until I had to go to the next. His wife on the other hand was a quiet woman. You could see a twinkle in their eyes when they were together. I admired them for that. I really loved that old fellow. I'd been going to his home, a two story home up on a hill, for about a year. One day I saw his name on my schedule, and automatically went to his home. But when the car stopped at his driveway, it was empty. Quickly the realization came that something was wrong. It dawned on me that the address on the schedule wasn't his home address. I did recognize the address, however, and when my brain put the puzzle together, my heart sank. When I walked into the his room at the assisted living home, I very nearly wept. His once vast library shrank to a small book shelf in a corner. A few belongings were his own, but this was clearly a temporary arrangement, and likely his last home. The most heartbreaking moment though, was when we made eye contact. The fire was gone. The once vibrant man, full of piss and vinegar, was now a broken shell. Chris's beloved wife had died suddenly, leaving him without a care taker. His children opted to send him to an assisted living home. That was the last time I saw him. I moved away soon after that, and I never knew what happened next, but I didn't need to find out. The outcome was obvious enough. The look in his eyes that day is still hard to think about, but I am grateful for the chance to have made any modicum of a difference in his life.
- HaZeust 4y ago
  Your experience with Chris has extended from you, to us, and I'm grateful to read about it. Thank you for sharing.
askin4it 4y ago
Since this is turning into a series of remembrances, I will add this one. http://www.cosmicken.com http://www.cosmicken.com 40 years ago this guy shopped at a grocery store near his house where I worked at when I was a kid. He's still kicking, and I still run into him when I return home. Once he told me a story of his army time in Vietnam. He said he found himself staring face to face at a VC fighter on patrol. Ken said he could tell the other guy was scared too and neither knew what to do. After a moment, he claims he just reached over and gently took the other guy's rifle. I always thought it was an interesting (and very brave) solution to that problem. Here's to you, ken, I hope you are stilling walking/running/bumming rides to the beach everyday.
prehistoricdog 4y ago
I'm 35. I haven't done one good thing in my life, I'm stupid and useless and I want to die
- Woseseltops 4y ago
  Please stay with us, and seek help if you have suicidal thoughts. Also, there are plenty of places that seek volunteers... Why not join one that fits your interests?
raindropm 4y ago
Beautiful. I always think deep down we are all empathetic to each other, but the outside circumstance arise(mostly works), then survival mode kick in, and we suddenly see other people as OTHERs, enemies, or "obstacles" to your happiness. I found that I see people differently when they took of their job position out. That's when they become a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, etc. — just ordinary people, like us, that have happy and sad moment in their life, that share this tiny pale blue dot together. Anyway, who's cutting the onion?
bloomingeek 4y ago
Beautiful.
PuffinBlue 4y ago
I wonder if we don’t all hope one day we have the privilege to be the Taxi Driver, and obtain such grace as the Old Lady.
- Cthulhu_ 4y ago
  Look after your parents, all. Given the state of the world and the intentional tearing down of health care and dignity, it's better if you can take care of them yourself. One of our pipe dreams is to save up enough money to buy a little homestead (take that phrase with a grain of salt) somewhere, still within our country but with the space and ability to build a cottage or two to house our parents, so they can live out their retirement somewhere nice and without relying on an overworked and underpaid system.
jmclnx 4y ago
Very nice and interesting read.
hacym 4y ago
Great story, this got me in the feels. A wonderful message.
justusthane 4y ago
Kent Nerburn is an excellent writer. Highly recommend "Neither Dog Nor Wolf".
busterarm 4y ago
I didn't expect to be haulin' buckets to HN today.
- SomeHacker44 4y ago
  Word. I cannot remember the last HN article that had me in tears.
  - metadat 4y ago
    I remember the last one for me, it might've also been the first. It's longer than this but had me tearing up intermittently for at least 6 weeks. What Happened to Lee April 2020 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22878136 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22878136
  - tonightstoast 4y ago
    This one was brutal as well https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33283652 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33283652
jahans 4y ago
Now that made me cry.
0wis 4y ago
Such a beautiful story in a few sentences. I think everyone can relate and simultaneously find how unique this experience was. Thanks for sharing, it adds life in the middle of arid subjects I can be caught into.
NKosmatos 4y ago
Such a nice and touching story... now excuse me while I go and clean something that got into my eye.
- ElfinTrousers 4y ago
  Hey, me too, must be some smoke or fumes or something in the air.
bufordtwain 4y ago
Very moving, thanks for posting this.
philk10 4y ago
Previous discussion - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783
- fileeditview 4y ago
  Thanks. I searched HN for the link and nothing turned up. Should have searched for the title I guess. But the good thing is there are always some who missed it.. including me.
  - philk10 4y ago
    It was such a good story I was sure I'd read it before on here and well worth another read
    - rzzzt 4y ago
      Is there a movie about a similar story? We've talked about something vaguely resembling Kent's post with my mom last week and I don't think she has seen this in writing (certainly not on HN, ha).
      - zulko 4y ago
        There is a 2022 french movie with the same premise (an elderly woman on her way to a hospice asks the taxi driver to drive her through Paris): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14586118/ https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14586118/
  - dang 4y ago
    Reposts are fine after a year or so, and this was a great one. Thanks!
- dang 4y ago
  Ah thanks! Macroexpanded: The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 - May 2012 (188 comments) The URL of that one (http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/ http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/) includes more background info, including the book this piece was published in.
plumefar 4y ago
There are times when life gives us the opportunity to be that guy; just not exactly in the same way. Pay attention, it has and it will happen.
- HaZeust 4y ago
  I take great care to stay vigilant for these opportunities. Recently, I found myself in a sadness for the lack of changes I was capable of making to our life’s systemic dysfunctions - be it natural or artificial - and found my time was much better spent improving the lives around me directly, individually or in small groups. I’ve long had the philosophy that the world has enough problems and that it’s not my place to add to them, but this philosophy also gave me a motivation to move mountains for solutions - and would be upset when I inevitably couldn’t. I think this perspective has been the best middle ground between what I’m capable of, and what I want to accomplish.
  - jamiek88 4y ago
    This comment got me thinking. One thing I enjoyed about early Covid was the ‘blitz spirit’ that occurred before it got all politicized. I’d like to recapture that without the doom.
Aromasin 4y ago
A mastery in short story writing. I had to call my mum immediately after finishing it.
- yreg 4y ago
  Well written, but it reads like a fiction based on a real story.
- JackFr 4y ago
  It’s really not. The message is true and important, but the writing itself is saccharine and overly sentimental. I came away knowing very little about the driver and his passenger. The details that were provided were flat played into tired and hackneyed tropes.
canbus 4y ago
beautiful story
Murfalo 4y ago
End of life is terrifying... Especially the idea of facing it alone, with all your friends and family long gone (or, worse yet, having been abandoned), is heartbreaking.
- TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
  Prepare for it now and everyday. Maybe it won’t be as terrifying when it comes.
  - sixstringtheory 4y ago
    We have to reckon with the fact that even surrounded by friends and family, at the moment our life finally ends we are alone inside our own mind. Even if it is scary, we can take solace in the fact that it is a fleeting moment. Buddhism helps us learn healthy detachment. This can be detachment from things, people and even ourselves; the healthy part being the balance that still allows us to appreciate and love them, even knowing one day we must lose them. Pushing those things away to protect ourselves from the pain of loss is unhealthy. Remember the middle way. In The Book of Joy the Dalai Lama states that he approaches meditation as a preparation to die well. I don’t know if that’s what you meant by “prepare for it every day” but what you said reminded me of all this.
  - PUSH_AX 4y ago
    Momento Mori
zahrc 4y ago
Small acts of kindness are more than enough to make someone else’s day. They sometimes even change lives. I hope this story reminds people that this is not just an empty platitude.
- bithead 4y ago
  In a sense, there are no small acts of kindness. They are all great.
  - butterfi 4y ago
    That was beautiful.
taxicabjesus 4y ago
I drove a taxi for about 3.5 years. Mostly it was random people going places. Taxi driving is not the most intellectually stimulating job, so I amused myself by talking to my passengers to figure out if they had anything to teach me. After a few shifts I became aware of a Metaphysical Matching Algorithm, where I was being sent specific passengers for reasons more than just 'transportation'. I'm still in contact with a woman I met on my 8th shift. She txt'd me for a ride ~4 days after her taxi ride. I remembered her, but couldn't figure out why she'd decided to call me back: 'I talk to everyone, but I didn't talk to them'. On her follow up ride she reminded me of the little informative txt message I'd sent them after I'd driven away, and how that little act motivated her to reach out to me when she needed to go to the store for a suitcase. She eventually made a short film that was inspired by how we met. The specific details are all wrong, which is why it's only "inspired by a true story", lol. The series of passengers that led me to my future-friend was 1. passenger going home from the hospital in central Phoenix [delay], 2. lady going home to Mesa [transfer fare - 15 miles], 3. Grandma going to the pharmacy [delay], then I got my 'appointment' to meet my future-friend in the metropolitan area's far southeast corner. Sometimes my random questions revealed that my passenger had interesting experiences, such as the fellow who'd spent a lot of time on the secret bases in Nevada: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33640535 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33640535 (My username was inspired by K5 user "Zombie Jesus Christ", whom I eventually visited in jail in California. Followup comment in this thread tells of my username's origin story.) I've commented before about the passenger I bailed out of jail. I distinctly remember the night I met him at the convenience store at Cave Creek & Bell Rd: "Are you available?" "Sure, hop in." He'd come to Arizona on a technology contract with a big bank, but the contract was canceled. Then his van and everything he owned got stolen. I don't remember the series of fares that led me to be in exactly his location that night... https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34157865 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34157865 Lots of stories like this. One passenger leads to the next. When I was between passengers sometimes I followed my intuitions trying to figure out where I'd find my next passenger. I tried to talk to everyone: everyone has a story & I tried to figure out if they had something I thought interesting. Sometimes I had the sense that I had 'appointments', othertimes I had the sense that there was no one else to meet that day. One of my standard lines of inquiry for couples, or people who mentioned their relationship, was 'how did you meet?' Sometimes it was a boring story ("met in elementary school"), sometimes intuition made their improbable connection possible. (Intuition is when we do things that turn out well, without having a well-formed logical reason for doing so: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/17/well/intuition-gut-instinct-psychology-midlife-crisis.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/17/well/intuition-gut-instin... ) One of my better stories was "Passenger Rescue" and "Passenger Rescue, Pt 2": http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/07/passenger-rescue.html http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/07/passenger-rescue.html / http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/08/passenger-rescue-pt-2.html http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/08/passenger-rescue-pt-2.html (originally these were diaries on Kuro5hin.org [RIP]): When we got back to his father's apartment complex my passenger asked, "What's the fare?" "This one's on me."
metadat 4y ago
Sometimes people really are the best, and for a moment I get to feel immensely grateful and proud to be part of humanity.
TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
My grandfather was a taxi cab driver in New York City during the 60s and 70s. After his third mugging, he changed jobs. I guess we each get different experiences.
roflyear 4y ago
Not long ago I drove my dad around his old neighborhood. Was very similarly touching.
mandeepj 4y ago
Wow! Really enjoyed reading it. From the title, I thought it'd be someone's Uber ride rant - overcharged etc. But, it turned out to be exact opposite - an emotional one. I also discovered the writer is an author and not just a blogger. So far, I've read only success stories. I think I can delve into reading similar stories. There a recommendation on this page - "Neither Dog Nor Wolf"; Maybe, I can start with that one.
MobileVet 4y ago
Clicks on link with bold thoughts of ‘I can handle anything’ Nope. The tears came for sure.
macintux 4y ago
I have been fortunate enough (privileged enough?) to feel comfortable picking up hitchhikers (or simply people walking along the road) over the years, and while most aren't particularly noteworthy, a few have been rough. One teenage boy had just been thrown out of his house, with nothing other than a torn shirt and shorts, by his drunk father. I drove him to his girlfriend's place. One desperate father had taken a bus as far as he could, but still had miles to walk to get to his mother's place and back home before his kids would wake up in the morning. I wrote about those and my other recollections a while back[1], but none as memorable as this piece. [1]: https://opposite-lock.com/topic/45077/hitchhikers-over-the-years https://opposite-lock.com/topic/45077/hitchhikers-over-the-y...
- shepherdjerred 4y ago
  Are you not scared of picking people up? I would love to help others, but I've always been worried that it could go poorly.
  - smu 4y ago
    I hitchhiked a bit during my college days, so I feel a moral obligation to pick up others if I can. Doesn’t seem to happen as often as it used though. Worst that happened to me was a very smelly drunk..
  - sequoia 4y ago
    I've been a hitchhiker and I've picked up hitchhikers though not in years as they're less common today where I live and I've been a parent and I won't pick up hitchhikers with my kids in the car. So while I was going to say "I don't think there's much risk" I guess I must admit I do acknowledge some risk involved, given that I won't do it with my kids aboard. But overall hitchhikers are people just like you and me, the difference being they haven't got a car, obviously. I figure the worst that would happen is I'm robbed and my car stolen, which would stink but the risk is infinitesimal and the benefit I perceive in helping out my fellow human is worth it to me. Notably, I am male; my calculous would likely be different if I were female. There's also the typical caveat of minding one's common sense & gut. If someone looks like a basket case I'm unlikely to pick them up, or if it's an odd hour/past dark, the area is remote etc. But someone on an busy onramp to I-40 during daytime, why not?
lakeshastina 4y ago
Wonderful. Thank you for sharing. Such acts of selfless kindness are what make life beautiful. They enrich everyone - the giver, the receiver and all those who witness such acts.
jaredstein 4y ago
I enjoyed reading this. She was fortunate to have you in her life.
linuxftw 4y ago
Reading this I got the impression that the person is a professional writer and fictionalized for emotional effect. Indeed, this is from an author. I'm all but immune to sentimentalism on the internet, and this story came across like a facebook chain letter.
- kurisufag 4y ago
  I'm glad someone shares the sentiment. "Facebook chain letter" is a good descriptor -- I was thinking "college application essay".
  - linuxftw 4y ago
    College application essay is equally good!
- TonyTrapp 4y ago
  From the previous thread on the same story: https://www.truthorfiction.com/cabbie/ https://www.truthorfiction.com/cabbie/ TLDR: "He told TruthOrFiction.com that the story is true and happened to him in Minneapolis, Minnesota in the early 1980’s. At the time he was working as a driver for the Yellow Cab company and worked what he called “the dog shift” overnight."
  - linuxftw 4y ago
    Fictionalized doesn't mean the entire story is fake, it's that fictional elements were added to it. While I believe he was a cabbie, and took someone to hospice at some point, I think that's as far as the truth goes. For starters, little old ladies don't call cabs at 2:30AM to go to a hospice facility.
- mynameishere 4y ago
  Yeah, something about a person who can still haul around luggage going to a hospice doesn't work for me. Hospices are usually the last stop for the bedridden, not the doomed-but-ambulatory. I'm no expert, of course... Also, the "not taking a fare" aspect is just, eh. You're okay explaining the hours of mileage to your company? "She was a nice old lady... And she needs some spending money in the afterlife."
gk1 4y ago
Nearly 20 years ago my friend and I returned to his dorm building after a long long night out, only to discover we were locked out. With nothing better to do, we sat outside on the stoop and planned to chat the hours away until 6am when the doors would reopen. Before the dawn came, a man in his 80s almost walked past us. He stopped to ask for directions somewhere, maybe to a church. After our half-hearted attempt at giving him directions, he asked us a question. Small talk. And then another. And then the questions turned into statements (“my daughter also went to art school”), and then into short stories, then long stories. My friend and I — having nothing better to do at this early hour, and each recognizing this man wasn’t looking for a sermon but an audience — kept listening. The old man’s long stories turned into deeply personal stories; of hunting deer with his father, of losing friends in the war… He went on and on, pausing occasionally to stare a thousand yards past us and let a patient tear make room for another. An hour later, in a click, the man wished us a good day and went about his way. And with a click, the lobby door behind us unlocked, and we went on our way. We slept until noon and I mostly forgot what else happened the previous night, but I never forgot that early morning moment. Those of us who are lucky to reach that age will surely have endless tales and thoughts to tell, and I hope we’re all lucky to find an attentive ear, whether from a stoop-sitting stranger or a taxi driver.
- agentwiggles 4y ago
  I had two fairly magical musical experiences with old guys during my college days. One happened during my junior year. I lived in a house with two other guys, who were out of town for the night, so I was home alone. I was short on cash so decided to just stay home, and I was playing guitar out on the stoop of my house drinking from a bottle of cheap wine that was left over in the fridge. I was pretty delighted when two drunk guys threw a fiver on my porch as they passed by - I was definitely not playing to any level that deserved money, but it felt pretty awesome. An older hippie looking guy came stumbling down the walk. He stopped and asked me if he could play something on my guitar. I was immediately nervous that the guy might run off with the guitar, but I hesitantly handed it over to him, and he strummed out a song which I had never heard before (Bob Dylan's She Belongs to Me). He was no rock star - his chord changes were sloppy, his voice was raspy and maybe a little off key. But he shared a wonderful song that I love to this day, then thanked me for letting him play and continued on his way. What a cool little moment, to meet this random stranger and be able to share that music. The other moment was even more strange and magical, and happened about a year before. A buddy and I had been holed up in the house watching TV and smoking pot for a while, and we stepped out onto the stoop to have a cigarette. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, and we were just chatting, goofing around with accents and silly jokes, enjoying the fresh air and the leftovers of our weed high. All of sudden we heard this strange, ethereal music coming from down the street, and went silent as we strained to hear the sound. From the street corner emerged a man in a forest green suit, with a long white beard, carrying some sort of harp, and playing it beautifully as he walked by. The guy didn't acknowledge us in any way, and we were far too shocked to think of anything to say as he passed. We watched him walk away, still playing this almost angelic music, and the music faded as he got out of hearing distance. My friend and I stood there in stunned silence, until one of us asked, unbelievingly "did you see that too?" I never saw this guy on campus again after that day, but my friend and I still joke about the time we saw an actual wizard on campus. If I hadn't had a friend with me, I'm not sure I would believe that it was real, I'd chalk it up to some vivid dream or hallucination or something. But again, what a magical thing to have happen.
neilv 4y ago
> it was possible to believe that I had been placed on earth for the sole purpose of providing her with that last ride. I suspect that a lot of people have a "heroism gene". In situations in which they're doing something selfless, and nothing matters other than helping the person before them who really needs it, there's an implicit "this is my purpose" or "this is what we do". I've wondered where that comes from, nature or nurture. And how common it is. And also how that changes once they have family dependent on them, when helping someone else would threaten that.
- daniel_reetz 4y ago
  I have also come to believe this. It's something that emerges in the moment - the moment of crisis, or the moment of need. You don't see it day-to-day, usually. I suspect it's over-represented in populations like nurses and firefighters. It's sometimes easier to see who doesn't have it - the people who "stay out of it" - those bystander effect exemplars who nonetheless remain nearby recording on their phones.
  - neilv 4y ago
    I think that the no-heroism-gene group might've been what really sensitized me to this. After seeing a particular incident as an adult, when I saw people not help even when it was begged for, and it was even their job... I started having a strong teary-eyed emotional reaction whenever I did see heroism specifically. After a few times of that reaction, I realized it wasn't due to a powerful moment in a movie or children's cartoon that prompted it -- it had started happening coincidentally after having been gravely disappointed by the no-heroism-gene group. Exactly why, I don't know, but we seem to have some strong wiring related to giving and expecting help.
- antisthenes 4y ago
  > I've wondered where that comes from, nature or nurture. And how common it is. Altruism is deeply embedded in all men, because it raises our chances of securing a mate. Nurture probably has some degree of an effect, but it's one of the most basal instincts.
- 4y ago
rishabhd 4y ago
Poignant and heartfelt, I did cry a little.
arittr 4y ago
originally came for hacks and code tricks; stayed for the posts like this that make me actually feel and think. thanks hn.
- hypeatei 4y ago
  I seriously just had a return to reality that I haven't felt in a while. It's putting a lot of things into perspective.
golem14 4y ago
You may like to read "the invention of curry sausage" by Uwe Timm.
me_smith 4y ago
This is probably one of the best things I read on here. Thank you for sharing.
ilamont 4y ago
I drove cabs PT in college. Usually the night shift on weekdays, which none of the FT drivers liked because demand was light. One night, I got a call to a suburban address, a little white Cape-style house. It was a guy in his 30s, glasses and a mustache. He seemed a little anxious, and explained that he was visiting his mother at the hospital - St. Elizabeths in Boston. Something serious. It was just him and his mom living in the little Cape. About a month later, the dispatcher sent me to the same address, again at night. It was him. His mother had died and he was absolutely shattered. Utter despair as I had never witnessed close up in my young life. I can't remember where he wanted to go. Honestly, I think he just wanted someone to talk with. And I did, as best I could.
sb8244 4y ago
> I do not think that I have ever done anything in my life that was any more important. My grandmother was in hospital on palatial care. We didn't know how long she would have, but it wasn't much. I look an awful lot like my uncle due to having curly hair. I sat with her holding her hand for hours, just being with her and making sure she wasn't alone. She thought I was my uncle most of the time, but it didn't matter. (Very confused nurses when she called me her son.) I still consider it one of the most important things I've done. Being there for someone in their final days is sad, but also a gift if they can be provided some comfort.
thesaintlives 4y ago
Bravo!
Lich 4y ago
A few days in on my first trip to New York City, I had decided to visit Central Park. On the subway there, I (Korean-American) noticed out of the corner of my eye an elderly Asian woman who was sitting right next to me, keep staring at me then looking away multiple times. After a few minutes of this, I stared right back at her and she asked me, "Ni zhong guo ren?" (are you Chinese)? Luckily, I was almost done graduating from college and in my last few semesters took Chinese as an elective. I said to her in my crappy Chinese "Bu. Wo shi han guo ren. Ke shi, wo zhi dao zhong wen yi dian dian." (No, I'm Korean, but I know a little Chinese.) She said something I couldn't understand, and was pointing to some paper with an address on it. I asked her in Chinese where she was going and she kept pointing to the paper and I realized it was the bus terminal. She looked deathly scared and afraid as if she was going to get lost, so I quickly looked up the stop for the bus terminal and I told her to follow me. She's got two heavy pieces of luggage, and I'm carrying it for her all the way to the terminal, to ticketing. I do my best to translate for her, get her the tickets to her destination of Flushing, New York. I guide her to the right gate and as I'm about to leave, she stops me, thanks me, and hands me some ginseng drink and a Christian tract. I take the drink, and I hand her back the tract. She's like, "no, take it." I say to her, "No, it's ok. Ssang-di (God), I believe. I believe in Jesus." There's a bit of a glad shock on her face and says, "Ohhhhh." We part ways. The fear on her face disappeared and I could see she felt comfortable and relaxed as she waited at the gate. It was just an awkward, but fun and memorable experience I'll never forget. I was a little annoyed early on cause there was only a few hours of daylight left and I wanted to spend as much time at Central Park, but it was just nice to help someone who seemed in desperate need of help. The funny thing is, this delay to Central Park actually timed it so that I got into a nice conversation with an older woman who sat on a bench next to me in the park.
- tysam_and 4y ago
  This is very adorable. Thank you for sharing this story with us today.
- tomcam 4y ago
  That is a beautiful and heartwarming story. I am happy to observe that people like you are not unusual in New York. I have had several visits there where I stood trying to orient myself, and locals would stop and ask me where I wanted to go. And it’s not like I’m an attractive woman or anything.
galgot 4y ago
Beautiful... Would fit well as a part of "Night on Earth".
tamaharbor 4y ago
My aunt and I sat on her bed in the nursing home, enjoyed the cannolis and milk I had brought, and spoke of all the good times we had together. That was the last time I saw her.
gigantaure 4y ago
today I'm with my father, he we scheduled for angioplasty which was unsuccessful as he will need heart surgery. His heart is to clogged up. We are now waiting to see the doctor for the next steps. As I'm seeing him age and become more fragile, I also don't think I've done anything more important that what I'm doing right now. thank you for sharing this story.
- briHass 4y ago
  I helped guide my mother through a very rough patch of depression and suicidal ideation last year, no doubt exacerbated by her chronic health issues. It forced me to confront many of the issues we try to forget, not the least of which being that our parents are complicated people with their own lives, and that it's very hard to watch someone who has always been your 'rock' need you to do that for them. As hard as it was, I'm glad I was able to be that for her. Love, it seems, is defined by the really hard times, not the easy, and sometimes, the most important thing is just being there when you're needed the most.
thegrimmest 4y ago
[flagged]
- par 4y ago
  Ok I’ll bite, you’re cynical! :)
  - thegrimmest 4y ago
    I get that, but I've had a hard time finding an explanation of exactly why. It seems like this is something people feel, but don't do very well explaining.
- colineartheta 4y ago
  This is…a deeply disturbing take and outlook on life, and all I can hope for is that it was meant in some dark irony that is beyond me. The sheer arrogance of it has me floored. We are all human, and our lives are worth living and sharing. But yours? I can only imagine your existence is as lonely and angry as you wish upon others. Be well, friend, and may the sun shine on you, one day.
  - thegrimmest 4y ago
    I'm afraid your characterization of me isn't accurate. I just like to think that we can all live our lives without imposing on other people. If the people you're listening to are resenting you for it, and are being too polite to tell you, you're doing something wrong. It's also not hard to tell when you're being resented as most people are not that good of actors. All I'm suggesting is that the elderly be as self-conscious as the rest of us are expected to be.
  - dang 4y ago
    Please don't cross into personal attack, no matter how wrong another comment is or you feel it is. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
    - 4y ago
phonescreen_man 4y ago
ChatGPT3 makes me no longer trust online writing. was that writing part of the simulation program, I’ll never truly know.
- dang 4y ago
  In this case you will, because it was apparently published in a book 20 years ago.
  - phonescreen_man 4y ago
    Yeah according to the internet. In 1984 Wilson’s job is to change the internet in subtle ways so that the lies become the truth. How can we really be sure anymore unless we directly | personal know the author?
tootie 4y ago
Thought of this gem: https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/28qemm/dont_bother_sending_a_tech_ill_be_dead_by_then/ https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/28qem...
Lisa_Novak 4y ago
[dead]
butterfi 4y ago
This hit me right in the feels. Decades ago I was a paperboy whose route included an old age home. I'll never forget that place - it was a soul-less 50's 4-story building that stank of strong disinfectant. It was unnerving, even for a somewhat clueless kid. I was very into WWII airplanes and struck up a friendship with a former pilot who shared his stories and gave me a few photos. He was a very nice man and I remember thinking how sad I was he was alone. I'm a lot closer to that age now and it still breaks my heart.
arnmac 4y ago
I am not sure there is anything else on the Internet worth reading today.
- ThePowerOfFuet 4y ago
  There isn't.
markstos 4y ago
One after a yoga class I got ride home with the teacher. I didn't know him well, but I knew he was also studying to be a chaplain. He seemed shaken. He shared that earlier that day he had visited a nursing home to hear the story of an older woman. Just listen. She told him her story and then, just died. He had this strong sense that she was just waiting to tell her story before she let go. I wasn't impacted like he was, but like the taxi ride this carpool created an intimate space to share a personal story. It's been a couple decades and I have not forgotten this one.
gizajob 4y ago
Beautiful story
spikder 4y ago
it is so easy to forget we're in this together. it's nice to be reminded. peace and joy fellow travelers.
borski 4y ago
I’ve always had bad insomnia, and back in the days when Lyft was still mustaches and fist bumps and front seats, I was all in - I would work at/on my startup during the day, and when I couldn’t sleep for a few hours at night (genuinely not tired, so not at particular risk of driving) I would drive for Lyft to meet some people. The people I met were absolutely fascinating. Some were the usual “get me to my place” and whatnot, but because Lyft had the vibe of “we aren’t Uber, we’re your friend with a car” at the time, I really got to chat with some incredible people. Plenty of kids done with partying for the night, but also the executive chef at Michael Mina at the 49ers stadium, some old folks with lots of crazy stories, etc. When Lyft turned into “also Uber” all of that was lost; introverts were thrilled at the ability to sit in the back and be chauffeured without ever having to say a word, but the vibe of what made me so interested in driving for Lyft was gone, so after a few rides in “the new system,” I quit doing it and started busking with my music instead. Then the pandemic happened and I’m still seeking a new outlet for that sort of “intentional” chance encounter. But I do miss those days.
dimator 4y ago
didn't expect to be this moved today, on HN. this reminded me of The Egg, and decided to reread it. http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
cat_plus_plus 4y ago
I love a rare inspirational story in this age of negativity! I realize that the subject is mortality, but all of us have to die sometime and some of us will have fortune or misfortune to outlive others in our immediate orbit and then we can still hope for kindness of strangers until the end. For those of us with non-people facing jobs, it helps to remember that our products too play a lot of positive role in lives of our users, even if we are not there to see that in person. E-mail carries love letters, phone camera captures first baby photos, video consumption apps and device play romantic movies for couples. And to try a little harder to make sure these magic moments happen smoothly.
tomcam 4y ago
Holy crap, that was a moving article. On a lighter note… If you drive for Uber or Lyft aren’t thrilled with it, this quote from the article shows how to reframe your job. Some people might think, “am I going to pick up yet another sorority girl who barfs in the backseat tonight?“ But instead, you could look at it like this: > There was a time in my life twenty years ago when I was driving a cab for a living. It was a cowboy’s life, a gambler’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss, constant movement and the thrill of a dice roll every time a new passenger got into the cab.
mansoon 4y ago
Let's play devil's advocate. This person was going to die soon anyway. They'd only live with the disappointment of their last ride to hospice for a few weeks/months anyway. What difference does it really make, to be lonely for a few weeks at the end of your life vs having one moment of joy? I'm sure this person suffered and was lonely on their way out anyway. I doubt that cab ride meant much as they were struggling to breath at the end. Aside from which, why do we think it matters more what happens at the end of a person's life? Either it all matters or none of it does, and these days I'm inclined toward the latter, in case you haven't already gathered that.
- ottumm 4y ago
  The devil has enough advocates, Keanu.
protocolture 4y ago
I used to work for the fruit companies senior support. We didn't technically have the capacity for long term relationships with customers, but one woman had a lot of trouble with her fruitpad. She had MS, and her fingers didn't work. So she kept getting angrier and angrier at tier 1 support people who were granted completely useless. Her issue is that she needed 12 attempts at everything because of her hands, and because of her age she needed the instructions every time. Simple things like, purchasing a song and downloading it were quite an ordeal for her. After the first time we spoke, I left the ticket open with a note that I had to follow up for some reason. And I did. And we got to talking. She was in an old age home where her kids had left her before they went overseas. She didn't resent them at all tbh, in fact she needed her fruitpad to communicate with them. We left the first ticket open for a month and communicated back and forth. I don't know if management caught wind but they certainly didn't intervene. I guess I just kept her company after a certain point. She always had a book or something she needed adding, and that would always without fail turn into a minimum 1 hour phone call. But seniority bought be a lot of leeway with my stats and honestly I didn't give a shit. We talked about what her kids were up to, and who the worst nurse was that sort of thing. One day I was handed a new contract to sign that would also give a large blue entity first dibs on anything I built at home. I had just signed on to a software project with a friend and wasn't going to sign his hard work away. They walked me out of the building because it was too hard to get the large blue legal firm to change a contract. So I never got to say goodbye.
- ljf 4y ago
  Thank you so much for helping her and the kindness you showed.
_shantaram 4y ago
I wrote a similar story once, but it was about my experience as a passenger. I think OP is spot-on about the cab being a confessional. I spent a large chunk of my life in cabs before I got my motorcycle, and I always liked talking to cabbies. On better days I'd ask them about their lives, on worse ones I'd talk about mine. It's nice to know it's appreciated/welcome.
- 71bw 4y ago
  I drove a cab maybe twice in my life, I mostly drive in Ubers. On the rare occasion the driver actually wants to talk I always get something interesting out of it. I remember driving to a friend once, and, as per usual I had selected a nearby Google location as the point of drop-off. Turns out it was a sales office for that particular block of flats and I ended getting a 20-minute-long lecture from the driver, who had previously worked on constructing such blocks (very common type of new (2010-) buildings in Poland, out of which all of them are nearly the same other than the exterior looks) which made me swear to myself I'd never live in one of them. One thing that stuck out the most was the fact that there was almost no quality control just because it wasn't worth it at the number of buildings they were pushing out per year.
nasir 4y ago
One thing I've developed over the past few years is to welcome and embrace the strangers' stories. Normally I'd rather go about my way but now I'm genuinely curious and interested. I always get to hear some random interesting stories as they come, tell some stories of my own and show some empathy towards the person telling it. Everyone likes to be heard but we're all too busy and think we have more important things to do. I highly recommend it to anyone.
ceceron 4y ago
In 2014, I've met in Krakow a Ukrainian woman in her sixties, feeding pigeons just next to the Wisla river. It wasn't anything uncommon, during the Crimean crisis hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians migrated to Poland. She asked me in Polish/Ukrainian how to reach the main square — she has been in Krakow for many days but hasn't been able to see the city attractions. I had few minutes to spare so I decided to walk her to the old city (~15 min walk). The short walk transformed into a tour over the restaurants — we had to visit every kitchen to ask if they would employ her as a kitchen aid; then over the churches — she was an orthodox, I believe, but she prayed in every catholic church for her family, Ukraine and finally, for me. When we have finally reached the main square, she was so authentically delighted with the place — she stopped everywhere to admire and marvel on various old buildings and... tourists. She was so happy to be able to talk (me, being a poor substitute for a translator) with tourists from USA and western Europe. Tourists were also happy to give her some small souvenirs (e.g. very small American flag you can attach to your backpack). All in all, the short walk took few hours, she was very talkative and I've learned a lot about her life in the central Ukraine and I've been invited to visit her anytime. The thing I will remember the most is how she appreciated the world around her, everything was so interesting and new — a world-view foreign to most of the people I know. It was a very enriching walk and I don't regret it, even if it destroyed my daily routine ;)
euske 4y ago
This article reminds me of my father. After my mother died, he's living alone in my home town. He spend most of his days without talking to anyone, but I know he's keeping a diary. And I'm sure he has a lot of story to tell, but the problem is how. As a shy Japanese man who's born in 1940s' he isn't a very talkative type, especially to his son. I think I should go back seeing him occassionaly, but I might still miss the opportunity of listening. I'm just writing here to remind myself. I should do something about it. Probably.
- raindropm 4y ago
  My father & mother divorce since I was 5, and I live with my mom since. One day we have to go to funeral of our relative, and my father is there. We are complete stranger by now, but also father and son. So imagine when I have to talk to him, for the first time after 30 years later. It's awkward as hell, but I'm glad I decide to do it because that might be the last time I have a chance to speak to my father. It's small talk and nothing more, yet I can feel something heavy lift out of my chest, like, he's just an old man now, and whatever bad things he's done in his past is now long gone — it's like I'm reconcile with him in some way. That being said, I don't have answer for you, but if you think you should do something about it, then do it!
scooke 4y ago
In case you all have overlooked this fact, we are all going to be this old person, soon. We have time to show kindness, and we have time to live an interesting, fulfilling life. I'm at a point when I wonder, when I hit that truly old stage, who will even believe the stories I could tell, never mind listen. It might be better to write a book, before I'mn old, so that it won't seem like just the ramblings of an old person.
imtemplain 4y ago
[dead]
dudeinjapan 4y ago
The cab ride I will never forget: it was a night-time trip from Thane to Mumbai. A group of friend and I were headed to a bar in the city. I was watching the highway signs, and saw we missed our exit. So I called out, "Excuse me, I think we just missed our exit." "Oh, no matter" said the driver. He then slammed on the brakes in the middle of the freeway, threw the car into reverse, and looked back as he began careening in reverse back up the outermost lane (not the shoulder!) We made it about 100 meters until we got rear-ended by a tuk-tuk (auto rickshaw). The tuk-tuk driver pulled over to the cabbie's window and began giving him an earful. The cabbie nonchalantly pulled out a few bills from his wallet, the tuk-tuk guy counted them, nodded, and off he went. We were all shocked speechless, no one said a word as the cabbie then proceeded in reverse another 100 meters. We did eventually reach the exit, and began moving in the forward direction again. One of my friends then explained to me that was a classic example of "jugaad". As defined by the Oxford Dictionary: jugaad /dʒʊˈɡɑːd/ noun, Indian "A flexible approach to problem-solving that uses limited resources in an innovative way."
- amadeuspagel 4y ago
  A hack, kind of.
  - dudeinjapan 4y ago
    Yeah, this cab driver was certainly a traffic direction contrarian!
_dhruva 4y ago
Beautiful! Reinstates my faith in humanity, thank you.
MattyRad 4y ago
Because I could not stop for Death, by Emily Dickinson.
quadcore 4y ago
She gave you a moment of joy as she didn't wanna ride with someone who would be scared and wouldn't knock on the only window.
SentientAtom 4y ago
That was beautiful, and ugly, and hurtful, and sweet. And it was weighted more in feelings than the breadth of its words. Damn. Thanks.
emmelaich 4y ago
There was a great blog from a Sydney cab driver. Discontinued in 2012 but considered good enough to be preserved at the Australian National Library. "Adrian the Cab driver" https://jafablog.typepad.com/ https://jafablog.typepad.com/

1717 points by fileeditview 4y ago

Being a mobile computer repair guy, I had some similar experiences. Two stand out. We'll call the first Chris K. He was an older gentlemen who could barely walk in a straight line, stooped over so far as he was. But his energy was far greater than that which is body would let him express. He was a writer who usually needed help figuring out something with his latest book, which he was self-publishing. The computer was tucked into a corner of a large room above his garage where the walls were lined with hundreds of books. This was his lair, his private place where he ruled as king. He told me stories of emigrating from France to the US, becoming a naturalized citizen so that he could join the draft and fight in Vietnam. Of having enough damage done to the right side of his face that he had to have a skin graft, sourced from his buttocks. He told of the joy he had when he invited somebody he didn't like to give him a kiss on the cheek! I would often finish the job and then just listen to his stories for a while until I had to go to the next. His wife on the other hand was a quiet woman. You could see a twinkle in their eyes when they were together. I admired them for that. I really loved that old fellow. I'd been going to his home, a two story home up on a hill, for about a year. One day I saw his name on my schedule, and automatically went to his home. But when the car stopped at his driveway, it was empty. Quickly the realization came that something was wrong. It dawned on me that the address on the schedule wasn't his home address. I did recognize the address, however, and when my brain put the puzzle together, my heart sank. When I walked into the his room at the assisted living home, I very nearly wept. His once vast library shrank to a small book shelf in a corner. A few belongings were his own, but this was clearly a temporary arrangement, and likely his last home. The most heartbreaking moment though, was when we made eye contact. The fire was gone. The once vibrant man, full of piss and vinegar, was now a broken shell. Chris's beloved wife had died suddenly, leaving him without a care taker. His children opted to send him to an assisted living home. That was the last time I saw him. I moved away soon after that, and I never knew what happened next, but I didn't need to find out. The outcome was obvious enough. The look in his eyes that day is still hard to think about, but I am grateful for the chance to have made any modicum of a difference in his life.

HaZeust 4y ago
Your experience with Chris has extended from you, to us, and I'm grateful to read about it. Thank you for sharing.

askin4it 4y ago

Since this is turning into a series of remembrances, I will add this one. http://www.cosmicken.com http://www.cosmicken.com 40 years ago this guy shopped at a grocery store near his house where I worked at when I was a kid. He's still kicking, and I still run into him when I return home. Once he told me a story of his army time in Vietnam. He said he found himself staring face to face at a VC fighter on patrol. Ken said he could tell the other guy was scared too and neither knew what to do. After a moment, he claims he just reached over and gently took the other guy's rifle. I always thought it was an interesting (and very brave) solution to that problem. Here's to you, ken, I hope you are stilling walking/running/bumming rides to the beach everyday.

prehistoricdog 4y ago

I'm 35. I haven't done one good thing in my life, I'm stupid and useless and I want to die

Woseseltops 4y ago
Please stay with us, and seek help if you have suicidal thoughts. Also, there are plenty of places that seek volunteers... Why not join one that fits your interests?

raindropm 4y ago

Beautiful. I always think deep down we are all empathetic to each other, but the outside circumstance arise(mostly works), then survival mode kick in, and we suddenly see other people as OTHERs, enemies, or "obstacles" to your happiness. I found that I see people differently when they took of their job position out. That's when they become a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, etc. — just ordinary people, like us, that have happy and sad moment in their life, that share this tiny pale blue dot together. Anyway, who's cutting the onion?

bloomingeek 4y ago

Beautiful.

PuffinBlue 4y ago

I wonder if we don’t all hope one day we have the privilege to be the Taxi Driver, and obtain such grace as the Old Lady.

Cthulhu_ 4y ago
Look after your parents, all. Given the state of the world and the intentional tearing down of health care and dignity, it's better if you can take care of them yourself. One of our pipe dreams is to save up enough money to buy a little homestead (take that phrase with a grain of salt) somewhere, still within our country but with the space and ability to build a cottage or two to house our parents, so they can live out their retirement somewhere nice and without relying on an overworked and underpaid system.

jmclnx 4y ago

Very nice and interesting read.

hacym 4y ago

Great story, this got me in the feels. A wonderful message.

justusthane 4y ago

Kent Nerburn is an excellent writer. Highly recommend "Neither Dog Nor Wolf".

busterarm 4y ago

I didn't expect to be haulin' buckets to HN today.

SomeHacker44 4y ago
Word. I cannot remember the last HN article that had me in tears.
- metadat 4y ago
  I remember the last one for me, it might've also been the first. It's longer than this but had me tearing up intermittently for at least 6 weeks. What Happened to Lee April 2020 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22878136 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22878136
- tonightstoast 4y ago
  This one was brutal as well https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33283652 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33283652

jahans 4y ago

Now that made me cry.

0wis 4y ago

Such a beautiful story in a few sentences. I think everyone can relate and simultaneously find how unique this experience was. Thanks for sharing, it adds life in the middle of arid subjects I can be caught into.

NKosmatos 4y ago

Such a nice and touching story... now excuse me while I go and clean something that got into my eye.

ElfinTrousers 4y ago
Hey, me too, must be some smoke or fumes or something in the air.

bufordtwain 4y ago

Very moving, thanks for posting this.

philk10 4y ago

Previous discussion - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783

fileeditview 4y ago
Thanks. I searched HN for the link and nothing turned up. Should have searched for the title I guess. But the good thing is there are always some who missed it.. including me.
- philk10 4y ago
  It was such a good story I was sure I'd read it before on here and well worth another read
  - rzzzt 4y ago
    Is there a movie about a similar story? We've talked about something vaguely resembling Kent's post with my mom last week and I don't think she has seen this in writing (certainly not on HN, ha).
    - zulko 4y ago
      There is a 2022 french movie with the same premise (an elderly woman on her way to a hospice asks the taxi driver to drive her through Paris): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14586118/ https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14586118/
- dang 4y ago
  Reposts are fine after a year or so, and this was a great one. Thanks!
dang 4y ago
Ah thanks! Macroexpanded: The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3918783 - May 2012 (188 comments) The URL of that one (http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/ http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/) includes more background info, including the book this piece was published in.

plumefar 4y ago

There are times when life gives us the opportunity to be that guy; just not exactly in the same way. Pay attention, it has and it will happen.

HaZeust 4y ago
I take great care to stay vigilant for these opportunities. Recently, I found myself in a sadness for the lack of changes I was capable of making to our life’s systemic dysfunctions - be it natural or artificial - and found my time was much better spent improving the lives around me directly, individually or in small groups. I’ve long had the philosophy that the world has enough problems and that it’s not my place to add to them, but this philosophy also gave me a motivation to move mountains for solutions - and would be upset when I inevitably couldn’t. I think this perspective has been the best middle ground between what I’m capable of, and what I want to accomplish.
- jamiek88 4y ago
  This comment got me thinking. One thing I enjoyed about early Covid was the ‘blitz spirit’ that occurred before it got all politicized. I’d like to recapture that without the doom.

Aromasin 4y ago

A mastery in short story writing. I had to call my mum immediately after finishing it.

yreg 4y ago
Well written, but it reads like a fiction based on a real story.
JackFr 4y ago
It’s really not. The message is true and important, but the writing itself is saccharine and overly sentimental. I came away knowing very little about the driver and his passenger. The details that were provided were flat played into tired and hackneyed tropes.

canbus 4y ago

beautiful story

Murfalo 4y ago

End of life is terrifying... Especially the idea of facing it alone, with all your friends and family long gone (or, worse yet, having been abandoned), is heartbreaking.

TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
Prepare for it now and everyday. Maybe it won’t be as terrifying when it comes.
- sixstringtheory 4y ago
  We have to reckon with the fact that even surrounded by friends and family, at the moment our life finally ends we are alone inside our own mind. Even if it is scary, we can take solace in the fact that it is a fleeting moment. Buddhism helps us learn healthy detachment. This can be detachment from things, people and even ourselves; the healthy part being the balance that still allows us to appreciate and love them, even knowing one day we must lose them. Pushing those things away to protect ourselves from the pain of loss is unhealthy. Remember the middle way. In The Book of Joy the Dalai Lama states that he approaches meditation as a preparation to die well. I don’t know if that’s what you meant by “prepare for it every day” but what you said reminded me of all this.
- PUSH_AX 4y ago
  Momento Mori

zahrc 4y ago

Small acts of kindness are more than enough to make someone else’s day. They sometimes even change lives. I hope this story reminds people that this is not just an empty platitude.

bithead 4y ago
In a sense, there are no small acts of kindness. They are all great.
- butterfi 4y ago
  That was beautiful.

taxicabjesus 4y ago

I drove a taxi for about 3.5 years. Mostly it was random people going places. Taxi driving is not the most intellectually stimulating job, so I amused myself by talking to my passengers to figure out if they had anything to teach me. After a few shifts I became aware of a Metaphysical Matching Algorithm, where I was being sent specific passengers for reasons more than just 'transportation'. I'm still in contact with a woman I met on my 8th shift. She txt'd me for a ride ~4 days after her taxi ride. I remembered her, but couldn't figure out why she'd decided to call me back: 'I talk to everyone, but I didn't talk to them'. On her follow up ride she reminded me of the little informative txt message I'd sent them after I'd driven away, and how that little act motivated her to reach out to me when she needed to go to the store for a suitcase. She eventually made a short film that was inspired by how we met. The specific details are all wrong, which is why it's only "inspired by a true story", lol. The series of passengers that led me to my future-friend was 1. passenger going home from the hospital in central Phoenix [delay], 2. lady going home to Mesa [transfer fare - 15 miles], 3. Grandma going to the pharmacy [delay], then I got my 'appointment' to meet my future-friend in the metropolitan area's far southeast corner. Sometimes my random questions revealed that my passenger had interesting experiences, such as the fellow who'd spent a lot of time on the secret bases in Nevada: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33640535 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33640535 (My username was inspired by K5 user "Zombie Jesus Christ", whom I eventually visited in jail in California. Followup comment in this thread tells of my username's origin story.) I've commented before about the passenger I bailed out of jail. I distinctly remember the night I met him at the convenience store at Cave Creek & Bell Rd: "Are you available?" "Sure, hop in." He'd come to Arizona on a technology contract with a big bank, but the contract was canceled. Then his van and everything he owned got stolen. I don't remember the series of fares that led me to be in exactly his location that night... https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34157865 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34157865 Lots of stories like this. One passenger leads to the next. When I was between passengers sometimes I followed my intuitions trying to figure out where I'd find my next passenger. I tried to talk to everyone: everyone has a story & I tried to figure out if they had something I thought interesting. Sometimes I had the sense that I had 'appointments', othertimes I had the sense that there was no one else to meet that day. One of my standard lines of inquiry for couples, or people who mentioned their relationship, was 'how did you meet?' Sometimes it was a boring story ("met in elementary school"), sometimes intuition made their improbable connection possible. (Intuition is when we do things that turn out well, without having a well-formed logical reason for doing so: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/17/well/intuition-gut-instinct-psychology-midlife-crisis.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/17/well/intuition-gut-instin... ) One of my better stories was "Passenger Rescue" and "Passenger Rescue, Pt 2": http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/07/passenger-rescue.html http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/07/passenger-rescue.html / http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/08/passenger-rescue-pt-2.html http://www.taxiwars.org/2012/08/passenger-rescue-pt-2.html (originally these were diaries on Kuro5hin.org [RIP]): When we got back to his father's apartment complex my passenger asked, "What's the fare?" "This one's on me."

metadat 4y ago

Sometimes people really are the best, and for a moment I get to feel immensely grateful and proud to be part of humanity.

TedDoesntTalk 4y ago

My grandfather was a taxi cab driver in New York City during the 60s and 70s. After his third mugging, he changed jobs. I guess we each get different experiences.

roflyear 4y ago

Not long ago I drove my dad around his old neighborhood. Was very similarly touching.

mandeepj 4y ago

Wow! Really enjoyed reading it. From the title, I thought it'd be someone's Uber ride rant - overcharged etc. But, it turned out to be exact opposite - an emotional one. I also discovered the writer is an author and not just a blogger. So far, I've read only success stories. I think I can delve into reading similar stories. There a recommendation on this page - "Neither Dog Nor Wolf"; Maybe, I can start with that one.

MobileVet 4y ago

Clicks on link with bold thoughts of ‘I can handle anything’ Nope. The tears came for sure.

macintux 4y ago

I have been fortunate enough (privileged enough?) to feel comfortable picking up hitchhikers (or simply people walking along the road) over the years, and while most aren't particularly noteworthy, a few have been rough. One teenage boy had just been thrown out of his house, with nothing other than a torn shirt and shorts, by his drunk father. I drove him to his girlfriend's place. One desperate father had taken a bus as far as he could, but still had miles to walk to get to his mother's place and back home before his kids would wake up in the morning. I wrote about those and my other recollections a while back[1], but none as memorable as this piece. [1]: https://opposite-lock.com/topic/45077/hitchhikers-over-the-years https://opposite-lock.com/topic/45077/hitchhikers-over-the-y...

shepherdjerred 4y ago
Are you not scared of picking people up? I would love to help others, but I've always been worried that it could go poorly.
- smu 4y ago
  I hitchhiked a bit during my college days, so I feel a moral obligation to pick up others if I can. Doesn’t seem to happen as often as it used though. Worst that happened to me was a very smelly drunk..
- sequoia 4y ago
  I've been a hitchhiker and I've picked up hitchhikers though not in years as they're less common today where I live and I've been a parent and I won't pick up hitchhikers with my kids in the car. So while I was going to say "I don't think there's much risk" I guess I must admit I do acknowledge some risk involved, given that I won't do it with my kids aboard. But overall hitchhikers are people just like you and me, the difference being they haven't got a car, obviously. I figure the worst that would happen is I'm robbed and my car stolen, which would stink but the risk is infinitesimal and the benefit I perceive in helping out my fellow human is worth it to me. Notably, I am male; my calculous would likely be different if I were female. There's also the typical caveat of minding one's common sense & gut. If someone looks like a basket case I'm unlikely to pick them up, or if it's an odd hour/past dark, the area is remote etc. But someone on an busy onramp to I-40 during daytime, why not?

lakeshastina 4y ago

Wonderful. Thank you for sharing. Such acts of selfless kindness are what make life beautiful. They enrich everyone - the giver, the receiver and all those who witness such acts.

jaredstein 4y ago

I enjoyed reading this. She was fortunate to have you in her life.

linuxftw 4y ago

Reading this I got the impression that the person is a professional writer and fictionalized for emotional effect. Indeed, this is from an author. I'm all but immune to sentimentalism on the internet, and this story came across like a facebook chain letter.

kurisufag 4y ago
I'm glad someone shares the sentiment. "Facebook chain letter" is a good descriptor -- I was thinking "college application essay".
- linuxftw 4y ago
  College application essay is equally good!
TonyTrapp 4y ago
From the previous thread on the same story: https://www.truthorfiction.com/cabbie/ https://www.truthorfiction.com/cabbie/ TLDR: "He told TruthOrFiction.com that the story is true and happened to him in Minneapolis, Minnesota in the early 1980’s. At the time he was working as a driver for the Yellow Cab company and worked what he called “the dog shift” overnight."
- linuxftw 4y ago
  Fictionalized doesn't mean the entire story is fake, it's that fictional elements were added to it. While I believe he was a cabbie, and took someone to hospice at some point, I think that's as far as the truth goes. For starters, little old ladies don't call cabs at 2:30AM to go to a hospice facility.
mynameishere 4y ago
Yeah, something about a person who can still haul around luggage going to a hospice doesn't work for me. Hospices are usually the last stop for the bedridden, not the doomed-but-ambulatory. I'm no expert, of course... Also, the "not taking a fare" aspect is just, eh. You're okay explaining the hours of mileage to your company? "She was a nice old lady... And she needs some spending money in the afterlife."

gk1 4y ago

Nearly 20 years ago my friend and I returned to his dorm building after a long long night out, only to discover we were locked out. With nothing better to do, we sat outside on the stoop and planned to chat the hours away until 6am when the doors would reopen. Before the dawn came, a man in his 80s almost walked past us. He stopped to ask for directions somewhere, maybe to a church. After our half-hearted attempt at giving him directions, he asked us a question. Small talk. And then another. And then the questions turned into statements (“my daughter also went to art school”), and then into short stories, then long stories. My friend and I — having nothing better to do at this early hour, and each recognizing this man wasn’t looking for a sermon but an audience — kept listening. The old man’s long stories turned into deeply personal stories; of hunting deer with his father, of losing friends in the war… He went on and on, pausing occasionally to stare a thousand yards past us and let a patient tear make room for another. An hour later, in a click, the man wished us a good day and went about his way. And with a click, the lobby door behind us unlocked, and we went on our way. We slept until noon and I mostly forgot what else happened the previous night, but I never forgot that early morning moment. Those of us who are lucky to reach that age will surely have endless tales and thoughts to tell, and I hope we’re all lucky to find an attentive ear, whether from a stoop-sitting stranger or a taxi driver.

agentwiggles 4y ago
I had two fairly magical musical experiences with old guys during my college days. One happened during my junior year. I lived in a house with two other guys, who were out of town for the night, so I was home alone. I was short on cash so decided to just stay home, and I was playing guitar out on the stoop of my house drinking from a bottle of cheap wine that was left over in the fridge. I was pretty delighted when two drunk guys threw a fiver on my porch as they passed by - I was definitely not playing to any level that deserved money, but it felt pretty awesome. An older hippie looking guy came stumbling down the walk. He stopped and asked me if he could play something on my guitar. I was immediately nervous that the guy might run off with the guitar, but I hesitantly handed it over to him, and he strummed out a song which I had never heard before (Bob Dylan's She Belongs to Me). He was no rock star - his chord changes were sloppy, his voice was raspy and maybe a little off key. But he shared a wonderful song that I love to this day, then thanked me for letting him play and continued on his way. What a cool little moment, to meet this random stranger and be able to share that music. The other moment was even more strange and magical, and happened about a year before. A buddy and I had been holed up in the house watching TV and smoking pot for a while, and we stepped out onto the stoop to have a cigarette. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, and we were just chatting, goofing around with accents and silly jokes, enjoying the fresh air and the leftovers of our weed high. All of sudden we heard this strange, ethereal music coming from down the street, and went silent as we strained to hear the sound. From the street corner emerged a man in a forest green suit, with a long white beard, carrying some sort of harp, and playing it beautifully as he walked by. The guy didn't acknowledge us in any way, and we were far too shocked to think of anything to say as he passed. We watched him walk away, still playing this almost angelic music, and the music faded as he got out of hearing distance. My friend and I stood there in stunned silence, until one of us asked, unbelievingly "did you see that too?" I never saw this guy on campus again after that day, but my friend and I still joke about the time we saw an actual wizard on campus. If I hadn't had a friend with me, I'm not sure I would believe that it was real, I'd chalk it up to some vivid dream or hallucination or something. But again, what a magical thing to have happen.

neilv 4y ago

> it was possible to believe that I had been placed on earth for the sole purpose of providing her with that last ride. I suspect that a lot of people have a "heroism gene". In situations in which they're doing something selfless, and nothing matters other than helping the person before them who really needs it, there's an implicit "this is my purpose" or "this is what we do". I've wondered where that comes from, nature or nurture. And how common it is. And also how that changes once they have family dependent on them, when helping someone else would threaten that.

daniel_reetz 4y ago
I have also come to believe this. It's something that emerges in the moment - the moment of crisis, or the moment of need. You don't see it day-to-day, usually. I suspect it's over-represented in populations like nurses and firefighters. It's sometimes easier to see who doesn't have it - the people who "stay out of it" - those bystander effect exemplars who nonetheless remain nearby recording on their phones.
- neilv 4y ago
  I think that the no-heroism-gene group might've been what really sensitized me to this. After seeing a particular incident as an adult, when I saw people not help even when it was begged for, and it was even their job... I started having a strong teary-eyed emotional reaction whenever I did see heroism specifically. After a few times of that reaction, I realized it wasn't due to a powerful moment in a movie or children's cartoon that prompted it -- it had started happening coincidentally after having been gravely disappointed by the no-heroism-gene group. Exactly why, I don't know, but we seem to have some strong wiring related to giving and expecting help.
antisthenes 4y ago
> I've wondered where that comes from, nature or nurture. And how common it is. Altruism is deeply embedded in all men, because it raises our chances of securing a mate. Nurture probably has some degree of an effect, but it's one of the most basal instincts.
4y ago

rishabhd 4y ago

Poignant and heartfelt, I did cry a little.

arittr 4y ago

originally came for hacks and code tricks; stayed for the posts like this that make me actually feel and think. thanks hn.

hypeatei 4y ago
I seriously just had a return to reality that I haven't felt in a while. It's putting a lot of things into perspective.

golem14 4y ago

You may like to read "the invention of curry sausage" by Uwe Timm.

me_smith 4y ago

This is probably one of the best things I read on here. Thank you for sharing.

ilamont 4y ago

I drove cabs PT in college. Usually the night shift on weekdays, which none of the FT drivers liked because demand was light. One night, I got a call to a suburban address, a little white Cape-style house. It was a guy in his 30s, glasses and a mustache. He seemed a little anxious, and explained that he was visiting his mother at the hospital - St. Elizabeths in Boston. Something serious. It was just him and his mom living in the little Cape. About a month later, the dispatcher sent me to the same address, again at night. It was him. His mother had died and he was absolutely shattered. Utter despair as I had never witnessed close up in my young life. I can't remember where he wanted to go. Honestly, I think he just wanted someone to talk with. And I did, as best I could.

sb8244 4y ago

> I do not think that I have ever done anything in my life that was any more important. My grandmother was in hospital on palatial care. We didn't know how long she would have, but it wasn't much. I look an awful lot like my uncle due to having curly hair. I sat with her holding her hand for hours, just being with her and making sure she wasn't alone. She thought I was my uncle most of the time, but it didn't matter. (Very confused nurses when she called me her son.) I still consider it one of the most important things I've done. Being there for someone in their final days is sad, but also a gift if they can be provided some comfort.

thesaintlives 4y ago

Bravo!

Lich 4y ago

A few days in on my first trip to New York City, I had decided to visit Central Park. On the subway there, I (Korean-American) noticed out of the corner of my eye an elderly Asian woman who was sitting right next to me, keep staring at me then looking away multiple times. After a few minutes of this, I stared right back at her and she asked me, "Ni zhong guo ren?" (are you Chinese)? Luckily, I was almost done graduating from college and in my last few semesters took Chinese as an elective. I said to her in my crappy Chinese "Bu. Wo shi han guo ren. Ke shi, wo zhi dao zhong wen yi dian dian." (No, I'm Korean, but I know a little Chinese.) She said something I couldn't understand, and was pointing to some paper with an address on it. I asked her in Chinese where she was going and she kept pointing to the paper and I realized it was the bus terminal. She looked deathly scared and afraid as if she was going to get lost, so I quickly looked up the stop for the bus terminal and I told her to follow me. She's got two heavy pieces of luggage, and I'm carrying it for her all the way to the terminal, to ticketing. I do my best to translate for her, get her the tickets to her destination of Flushing, New York. I guide her to the right gate and as I'm about to leave, she stops me, thanks me, and hands me some ginseng drink and a Christian tract. I take the drink, and I hand her back the tract. She's like, "no, take it." I say to her, "No, it's ok. Ssang-di (God), I believe. I believe in Jesus." There's a bit of a glad shock on her face and says, "Ohhhhh." We part ways. The fear on her face disappeared and I could see she felt comfortable and relaxed as she waited at the gate. It was just an awkward, but fun and memorable experience I'll never forget. I was a little annoyed early on cause there was only a few hours of daylight left and I wanted to spend as much time at Central Park, but it was just nice to help someone who seemed in desperate need of help. The funny thing is, this delay to Central Park actually timed it so that I got into a nice conversation with an older woman who sat on a bench next to me in the park.

tysam_and 4y ago
This is very adorable. Thank you for sharing this story with us today.
tomcam 4y ago
That is a beautiful and heartwarming story. I am happy to observe that people like you are not unusual in New York. I have had several visits there where I stood trying to orient myself, and locals would stop and ask me where I wanted to go. And it’s not like I’m an attractive woman or anything.

galgot 4y ago

Beautiful... Would fit well as a part of "Night on Earth".

tamaharbor 4y ago

My aunt and I sat on her bed in the nursing home, enjoyed the cannolis and milk I had brought, and spoke of all the good times we had together. That was the last time I saw her.

gigantaure 4y ago

today I'm with my father, he we scheduled for angioplasty which was unsuccessful as he will need heart surgery. His heart is to clogged up. We are now waiting to see the doctor for the next steps. As I'm seeing him age and become more fragile, I also don't think I've done anything more important that what I'm doing right now. thank you for sharing this story.

briHass 4y ago
I helped guide my mother through a very rough patch of depression and suicidal ideation last year, no doubt exacerbated by her chronic health issues. It forced me to confront many of the issues we try to forget, not the least of which being that our parents are complicated people with their own lives, and that it's very hard to watch someone who has always been your 'rock' need you to do that for them. As hard as it was, I'm glad I was able to be that for her. Love, it seems, is defined by the really hard times, not the easy, and sometimes, the most important thing is just being there when you're needed the most.

thegrimmest 4y ago

[flagged]

par 4y ago
Ok I’ll bite, you’re cynical! :)
- thegrimmest 4y ago
  I get that, but I've had a hard time finding an explanation of exactly why. It seems like this is something people feel, but don't do very well explaining.
colineartheta 4y ago
This is…a deeply disturbing take and outlook on life, and all I can hope for is that it was meant in some dark irony that is beyond me. The sheer arrogance of it has me floored. We are all human, and our lives are worth living and sharing. But yours? I can only imagine your existence is as lonely and angry as you wish upon others. Be well, friend, and may the sun shine on you, one day.
- thegrimmest 4y ago
  I'm afraid your characterization of me isn't accurate. I just like to think that we can all live our lives without imposing on other people. If the people you're listening to are resenting you for it, and are being too polite to tell you, you're doing something wrong. It's also not hard to tell when you're being resented as most people are not that good of actors. All I'm suggesting is that the elderly be as self-conscious as the rest of us are expected to be.
- dang 4y ago
  Please don't cross into personal attack, no matter how wrong another comment is or you feel it is. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
  - 4y ago

phonescreen_man 4y ago

ChatGPT3 makes me no longer trust online writing. was that writing part of the simulation program, I’ll never truly know.

dang 4y ago
In this case you will, because it was apparently published in a book 20 years ago.
- phonescreen_man 4y ago
  Yeah according to the internet. In 1984 Wilson’s job is to change the internet in subtle ways so that the lies become the truth. How can we really be sure anymore unless we directly | personal know the author?

tootie 4y ago

Thought of this gem: https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/28qemm/dont_bother_sending_a_tech_ill_be_dead_by_then/ https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/28qem...

Lisa_Novak 4y ago

[dead]

butterfi 4y ago

This hit me right in the feels. Decades ago I was a paperboy whose route included an old age home. I'll never forget that place - it was a soul-less 50's 4-story building that stank of strong disinfectant. It was unnerving, even for a somewhat clueless kid. I was very into WWII airplanes and struck up a friendship with a former pilot who shared his stories and gave me a few photos. He was a very nice man and I remember thinking how sad I was he was alone. I'm a lot closer to that age now and it still breaks my heart.

arnmac 4y ago

I am not sure there is anything else on the Internet worth reading today.

ThePowerOfFuet 4y ago
There isn't.

markstos 4y ago

One after a yoga class I got ride home with the teacher. I didn't know him well, but I knew he was also studying to be a chaplain. He seemed shaken. He shared that earlier that day he had visited a nursing home to hear the story of an older woman. Just listen. She told him her story and then, just died. He had this strong sense that she was just waiting to tell her story before she let go. I wasn't impacted like he was, but like the taxi ride this carpool created an intimate space to share a personal story. It's been a couple decades and I have not forgotten this one.

gizajob 4y ago

Beautiful story

spikder 4y ago

it is so easy to forget we're in this together. it's nice to be reminded. peace and joy fellow travelers.

borski 4y ago

I’ve always had bad insomnia, and back in the days when Lyft was still mustaches and fist bumps and front seats, I was all in - I would work at/on my startup during the day, and when I couldn’t sleep for a few hours at night (genuinely not tired, so not at particular risk of driving) I would drive for Lyft to meet some people. The people I met were absolutely fascinating. Some were the usual “get me to my place” and whatnot, but because Lyft had the vibe of “we aren’t Uber, we’re your friend with a car” at the time, I really got to chat with some incredible people. Plenty of kids done with partying for the night, but also the executive chef at Michael Mina at the 49ers stadium, some old folks with lots of crazy stories, etc. When Lyft turned into “also Uber” all of that was lost; introverts were thrilled at the ability to sit in the back and be chauffeured without ever having to say a word, but the vibe of what made me so interested in driving for Lyft was gone, so after a few rides in “the new system,” I quit doing it and started busking with my music instead. Then the pandemic happened and I’m still seeking a new outlet for that sort of “intentional” chance encounter. But I do miss those days.

dimator 4y ago

didn't expect to be this moved today, on HN. this reminded me of The Egg, and decided to reread it. http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html

cat_plus_plus 4y ago

I love a rare inspirational story in this age of negativity! I realize that the subject is mortality, but all of us have to die sometime and some of us will have fortune or misfortune to outlive others in our immediate orbit and then we can still hope for kindness of strangers until the end. For those of us with non-people facing jobs, it helps to remember that our products too play a lot of positive role in lives of our users, even if we are not there to see that in person. E-mail carries love letters, phone camera captures first baby photos, video consumption apps and device play romantic movies for couples. And to try a little harder to make sure these magic moments happen smoothly.

tomcam 4y ago

Holy crap, that was a moving article. On a lighter note… If you drive for Uber or Lyft aren’t thrilled with it, this quote from the article shows how to reframe your job. Some people might think, “am I going to pick up yet another sorority girl who barfs in the backseat tonight?“ But instead, you could look at it like this: > There was a time in my life twenty years ago when I was driving a cab for a living. It was a cowboy’s life, a gambler’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss, constant movement and the thrill of a dice roll every time a new passenger got into the cab.

mansoon 4y ago

Let's play devil's advocate. This person was going to die soon anyway. They'd only live with the disappointment of their last ride to hospice for a few weeks/months anyway. What difference does it really make, to be lonely for a few weeks at the end of your life vs having one moment of joy? I'm sure this person suffered and was lonely on their way out anyway. I doubt that cab ride meant much as they were struggling to breath at the end. Aside from which, why do we think it matters more what happens at the end of a person's life? Either it all matters or none of it does, and these days I'm inclined toward the latter, in case you haven't already gathered that.

ottumm 4y ago
The devil has enough advocates, Keanu.

protocolture 4y ago

I used to work for the fruit companies senior support. We didn't technically have the capacity for long term relationships with customers, but one woman had a lot of trouble with her fruitpad. She had MS, and her fingers didn't work. So she kept getting angrier and angrier at tier 1 support people who were granted completely useless. Her issue is that she needed 12 attempts at everything because of her hands, and because of her age she needed the instructions every time. Simple things like, purchasing a song and downloading it were quite an ordeal for her. After the first time we spoke, I left the ticket open with a note that I had to follow up for some reason. And I did. And we got to talking. She was in an old age home where her kids had left her before they went overseas. She didn't resent them at all tbh, in fact she needed her fruitpad to communicate with them. We left the first ticket open for a month and communicated back and forth. I don't know if management caught wind but they certainly didn't intervene. I guess I just kept her company after a certain point. She always had a book or something she needed adding, and that would always without fail turn into a minimum 1 hour phone call. But seniority bought be a lot of leeway with my stats and honestly I didn't give a shit. We talked about what her kids were up to, and who the worst nurse was that sort of thing. One day I was handed a new contract to sign that would also give a large blue entity first dibs on anything I built at home. I had just signed on to a software project with a friend and wasn't going to sign his hard work away. They walked me out of the building because it was too hard to get the large blue legal firm to change a contract. So I never got to say goodbye.

ljf 4y ago
Thank you so much for helping her and the kindness you showed.

_shantaram 4y ago

I wrote a similar story once, but it was about my experience as a passenger. I think OP is spot-on about the cab being a confessional. I spent a large chunk of my life in cabs before I got my motorcycle, and I always liked talking to cabbies. On better days I'd ask them about their lives, on worse ones I'd talk about mine. It's nice to know it's appreciated/welcome.

71bw 4y ago
I drove a cab maybe twice in my life, I mostly drive in Ubers. On the rare occasion the driver actually wants to talk I always get something interesting out of it. I remember driving to a friend once, and, as per usual I had selected a nearby Google location as the point of drop-off. Turns out it was a sales office for that particular block of flats and I ended getting a 20-minute-long lecture from the driver, who had previously worked on constructing such blocks (very common type of new (2010-) buildings in Poland, out of which all of them are nearly the same other than the exterior looks) which made me swear to myself I'd never live in one of them. One thing that stuck out the most was the fact that there was almost no quality control just because it wasn't worth it at the number of buildings they were pushing out per year.

nasir 4y ago

One thing I've developed over the past few years is to welcome and embrace the strangers' stories. Normally I'd rather go about my way but now I'm genuinely curious and interested. I always get to hear some random interesting stories as they come, tell some stories of my own and show some empathy towards the person telling it. Everyone likes to be heard but we're all too busy and think we have more important things to do. I highly recommend it to anyone.

ceceron 4y ago

In 2014, I've met in Krakow a Ukrainian woman in her sixties, feeding pigeons just next to the Wisla river. It wasn't anything uncommon, during the Crimean crisis hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians migrated to Poland. She asked me in Polish/Ukrainian how to reach the main square — she has been in Krakow for many days but hasn't been able to see the city attractions. I had few minutes to spare so I decided to walk her to the old city (~15 min walk). The short walk transformed into a tour over the restaurants — we had to visit every kitchen to ask if they would employ her as a kitchen aid; then over the churches — she was an orthodox, I believe, but she prayed in every catholic church for her family, Ukraine and finally, for me. When we have finally reached the main square, she was so authentically delighted with the place — she stopped everywhere to admire and marvel on various old buildings and... tourists. She was so happy to be able to talk (me, being a poor substitute for a translator) with tourists from USA and western Europe. Tourists were also happy to give her some small souvenirs (e.g. very small American flag you can attach to your backpack). All in all, the short walk took few hours, she was very talkative and I've learned a lot about her life in the central Ukraine and I've been invited to visit her anytime. The thing I will remember the most is how she appreciated the world around her, everything was so interesting and new — a world-view foreign to most of the people I know. It was a very enriching walk and I don't regret it, even if it destroyed my daily routine ;)

euske 4y ago

This article reminds me of my father. After my mother died, he's living alone in my home town. He spend most of his days without talking to anyone, but I know he's keeping a diary. And I'm sure he has a lot of story to tell, but the problem is how. As a shy Japanese man who's born in 1940s' he isn't a very talkative type, especially to his son. I think I should go back seeing him occassionaly, but I might still miss the opportunity of listening. I'm just writing here to remind myself. I should do something about it. Probably.

raindropm 4y ago
My father & mother divorce since I was 5, and I live with my mom since. One day we have to go to funeral of our relative, and my father is there. We are complete stranger by now, but also father and son. So imagine when I have to talk to him, for the first time after 30 years later. It's awkward as hell, but I'm glad I decide to do it because that might be the last time I have a chance to speak to my father. It's small talk and nothing more, yet I can feel something heavy lift out of my chest, like, he's just an old man now, and whatever bad things he's done in his past is now long gone — it's like I'm reconcile with him in some way. That being said, I don't have answer for you, but if you think you should do something about it, then do it!

scooke 4y ago

In case you all have overlooked this fact, we are all going to be this old person, soon. We have time to show kindness, and we have time to live an interesting, fulfilling life. I'm at a point when I wonder, when I hit that truly old stage, who will even believe the stories I could tell, never mind listen. It might be better to write a book, before I'mn old, so that it won't seem like just the ramblings of an old person.

imtemplain 4y ago

[dead]

dudeinjapan 4y ago

The cab ride I will never forget: it was a night-time trip from Thane to Mumbai. A group of friend and I were headed to a bar in the city. I was watching the highway signs, and saw we missed our exit. So I called out, "Excuse me, I think we just missed our exit." "Oh, no matter" said the driver. He then slammed on the brakes in the middle of the freeway, threw the car into reverse, and looked back as he began careening in reverse back up the outermost lane (not the shoulder!) We made it about 100 meters until we got rear-ended by a tuk-tuk (auto rickshaw). The tuk-tuk driver pulled over to the cabbie's window and began giving him an earful. The cabbie nonchalantly pulled out a few bills from his wallet, the tuk-tuk guy counted them, nodded, and off he went. We were all shocked speechless, no one said a word as the cabbie then proceeded in reverse another 100 meters. We did eventually reach the exit, and began moving in the forward direction again. One of my friends then explained to me that was a classic example of "jugaad". As defined by the Oxford Dictionary: jugaad /dʒʊˈɡɑːd/ noun, Indian "A flexible approach to problem-solving that uses limited resources in an innovative way."

amadeuspagel 4y ago
A hack, kind of.
- dudeinjapan 4y ago
  Yeah, this cab driver was certainly a traffic direction contrarian!

_dhruva 4y ago

Beautiful! Reinstates my faith in humanity, thank you.

MattyRad 4y ago

Because I could not stop for Death, by Emily Dickinson.

quadcore 4y ago

She gave you a moment of joy as she didn't wanna ride with someone who would be scared and wouldn't knock on the only window.

SentientAtom 4y ago

That was beautiful, and ugly, and hurtful, and sweet. And it was weighted more in feelings than the breadth of its words. Damn. Thanks.

emmelaich 4y ago

There was a great blog from a Sydney cab driver. Discontinued in 2012 but considered good enough to be preserved at the Australian National Library. "Adrian the Cab driver" https://jafablog.typepad.com/ https://jafablog.typepad.com/