6 ms·

Daily habits of happiness experts

83 points by lxm 4y ago

achenet 4y ago
https://archive.ph/0kn6F https://archive.ph/0kn6F
boh 4y ago
Happiness is overrated. Having your own individual culture center around self-satisfaction limits your scope as a person. Being responsible, cultivating your abilities, furthering your beliefs and values, can make you pretty miserable, but nobody gets in the history books for being happy. Also there's nothing more fake than a "happiness expert".
- _yb2s 4y ago
  This was exactly my attitude until I read the article…. I think it agrees with you, but goes a bit deeper, e.g. in the importance of being authentic and not suppressing negative emotions.
- bryanlarsen 4y ago
  This is an example of where English falls down. Your definition of happiness appears to be almost the complete opposite of the definition used in the article. This is also very well trod ground, Plato did a good job on it. Plato would have called your definition of happiness hedonism. He would have called the articles definition of happiness eudaimonism, and that lines up pretty good with what you said can make you miserable. Plato and happiness scientists generally agree that eudaimonism is the best route to long term happiness. Perhaps we should just stop using the word happiness and use the words pleasure and satisfaction instead.
  - kaon123 4y ago
    Yes! Often satisfaction and pleasure are in a conflicting relationship. When you ask a software developer that has worked for 3 years on a "successful" side project. He will probably tell you that it cost him lots of evenings he could have been seeing friends or sleeping. Yet that same person may feel very satisfied for having done so. Still. It is difficult territory. Dissatisfaction is often leads to action that can then lead to "societal success". Should you be dissatisfied then? The Tony Robbinses of the world might say yes!
  - circlefavshape 4y ago
    > Plato and happiness scientists generally agree that eudaimonism is the best route to long term happiness. I think you're misconstruing this a bit. Plato and some happiness scientists see eudaimonia as superior to "affect" (the actual emotional state of "happy"). One is not a route to the other. Daniel Kahneman is, as far as I can make out, a hedonist and so, fwiw, am I. To me eudaimonia is just smugness
  - boh 4y ago
    Happiness is similar to the word "freedom" , in that it can mean anything to anyone (with freedom used in equal measure by rebels, despots and used car salesmen). Words like these are more used for emotional aesthetics rather than a descriptive expression. These words are so persistent in our culture because they essentially have no meaning. It doesn't matter how the article or "happiness experts" define happiness because their definitions are circumstantial and irrelevant. The meaningless of the word "happiness" remains intact. It's closer to a secular faith than an actual phenomenon. Yes you might've felt happy but a persistent state of "happiness" is more a sign of a manic episode than an actual reality you can buy for yourself or hire someone (like the ridiculous people in the article) to achieve.
- oscarb92 4y ago
  You seem to be confusing happiness with hedonism.
- knowhy 4y ago
  Slavoj Žižek [1] sees happiness as a conformist category. He argues that: > We don't really want what we think we desire. [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
- brodo 4y ago
  > nobody gets in the history books for being happy. “Getting in the history books” aka fame is per definition never going to happen for most people. An important part of growing up is recognizing that you are neither rich nor famous and properly won’t be. General life advice needs to take that into account.
- cortesoft 4y ago
  > but nobody gets in the history books for being happy. You state this like getting in history books is a universal desire, or a common goal for everyone. Why is getting in history books a desired thing?
- pcrh 4y ago
  >Happiness is overrated. I had fun once. It was awful.
_yb2s 4y ago
This is great advice, and not the cliche nonsense I expected it to be.
- jollyllama 4y ago
  Yeah I was expecting "do fun stuff as a tax write-off"
hirundo 4y ago
Funny that yard work didn't make the list, it works for me. A decade and a half ago I bought a rural multi-acre densely wooded lot. In the last few years I've made a habit out of going out to tame it daily with chainsaws, wheelbarrows, rakes, etc. Usually less than an hour at a time, on a lunch break from my remote job. It was a royal slog that I dreaded in the beginning. But from the start it was a mood-improver, and subconsciously I caught on, because I've come to look forward to it and to enjoy it for itself. It gets me outside and in motion, with a reasonable amount of exertion. Doing it without hurting myself requires enough attention to pry me away from my other problems. It relaxes and somehow elevates rather than detaching me. The cleaning up satisfies my subclinical OCD in a deep way. Yard work has become a privilege that came with this property rather than a responsibility and chore. So now the job is almost done and I'm looking longingly over the fence at my neighbors' wild yards. Maybe I'll make a deal with them, or maybe find some other way of generating happiness from being outdoors and working hard with natural randomness. Like gardening.
- matthewaveryusa 4y ago
  Gardening is a super-hobby: It hits the exercise, creativity, and nature aspects. If you do it with a partner that's time outside the house you're spending with family. It's also free, and at the end of it you typically get the sense of accomplishment. Can't say it better than Voltaire: "Il faut cultiver notre jardin"
  - soiler 4y ago
    Gardening is free? Maybe if you invest 3-12 months in making your own compost first, inherit a few tools, have a good amount of arable soil on your property, and collect seeds/cuttings from friends who are already accomplished gardeners. Otherwise, it adds up. Still worth it though!
    - hooverd 4y ago
      Herbs and tomatoes and peppers are worth growing yourself and can be grown in a small space. Everything else leads to the most expensive veggies you've ever eaten and they're really not better than something from the farmers market or even grocery store.
vorpalhex 4y ago
> If anyone knows the secret to happiness, it’s surely the people who have dedicated their careers to studying it. The first thing they’ll tell you? Being happy all the time isn’t a feasible—or even desirable—goal. If the happiness experts had said happiness is overrated and to not bother, would time have written that? How does one qualify as a happiness expert? Is there a post-intervention survey?
- jraby3 4y ago
  I saw a TED talk about the happiest man on the planet. It was a French molecular biologist who became a Buddhist monk and spent 25 years meditating. They tested his brain with an fMRI machine and found that he was 4 standard deviations above the average when it came to the place in his brain where they suspected happiness stemmed from. IMO he’s qualified as a happiness expert. Not sure about these writers though.
  - anonymousnotme 4y ago
    I would think a lot of long time meditators are much more in touch with reality and accept the past and don't worry about the future. So, I would expect them as a group to be much more likely to be happy. I would expect all enlighted individuals to be happy.
  - javier123454321 4y ago
    You are right, there's actually two and a half millenia of people in eastern traditions dedicating their entire lives to 1. Achieving happiness, and 2. Developing a methodology for achieving that state to others. It's called Buddhism, and if anyone, they are the happiness experts. The western scientific tradition is just starting in this journey (about 50 years of scientific studies exist on people that are considered high meditation achievers). One of the main ideas of buddhism lacks a good translation, but it is in the fact that understanding something intellectually is NOT the same as understanding something experientially. That's apparent in the way this article is laid out. Just because you have been studying happiness doesn't mean you experience it. This difference in types of knowledge is key, and so foundational at the highest levels of buddhist tantra that working with the intellect is often seen as an impediment. That's why Buddhism is seen as a practice above a religion or philosophy.
googlryas 4y ago
I take issue with the opening statement: > If anyone knows the secret to happiness, it’s surely the people who have dedicated their careers to studying it Just because you study something doesn't mean you live the life. There was a fun little study that showed professional ethicists don't act particularly more ethical than the average person: https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-their-mothers https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-t...
- kwhitefoot 4y ago
  And economists aren't all rich either!
  - Eddy_Viscosity2 4y ago
    Some are! The ones who had rich parents anyway. Turns out an important habit of successful people, often left off these lists, is being born into wealth.
    - SoftTalker 4y ago
      Wealthy people teach their kids how to manage money for growth and/or preservation. It's frighteningly easy for someone who has no experience with wealth to squander a fortune very quickly. Look at big lottery winners who spend it all and end up in bankruptcy. It's more than just inheriting money from your parents; they teach you how to keep it.
      - dkqmduems 4y ago
        Is this your answer to the chicken and the egg question?
      - skyyler 4y ago
        Do you think it's possible for a poor family to teach their kids how to manage money for growth?
ausbah 4y ago
so when they mention in the article happiness is probably both something you actively do but also a byproduct of your environment. i imagine when you ask experts on happiness who presumably are happy themselves about their habits, the causal relation cuts boths ways? like if you are inherently unhappy but start doing these habits your environment will improve and you'll become happier somewhat while you still may not feel "100% happy" bc these habits don't engage with that internal mode of happiness?
- escapedmoose 4y ago
  I went into more detail in another comment, but tldr I’ve experimented in the past with dropping some of these activities to see how it affects my mood. Above all else, sleep, exercise, and time spent in nature are essential to my personal happiness. Without these things my mood drops pretty quickly. Therefore I believe that someone who doesn’t already get these things would see an improved mood by adding them.
engineer_22 4y ago
According to the article, 50% of happiness experts go to weekly or monthly therapy/support groups. The other 50% do not.
- jobs_throwaway 4y ago
  found that bit interesting as well. A lot of pop culture today would have you think this would be 100%
octobus2021 4y ago
I've read "The Happiness Advantage" on (then-)emerging field of positive psychology, which I strongly recommend to anybody interested in improving their mental wellness. It's not too big, well structured, and contains both research as well as practical advice/techniques. I also noticed how aligned it is with cognitive-behavioural therapy.
Existenceblinks 4y ago
Looked at the "Share of experts surveyed who say they engage in these weekly happiness habits" and it immediately turned me off. Time time time. What is it something something that buy time? Bingo!
joenot443 4y ago
Did anyone else find it telling that "Engage with support groups or therapist" was the activity with the lowest engagement? Anecdotally this makes sense to me; the people I'm close with who struggle the most with finding day-to-day happiness are usually the ones who spend the most time in therapy. Not that the relationship is causal, of course, it's more just interesting to observe that lots of therapy doesn't seem necessary to maintain a positive baseline.
- syncbehind 4y ago
  >the people I'm close with who struggle the most with finding day-to-day happiness are usually the ones who spend the most time in therapy Funny, I thought the same thing about the amount of sick people visiting doctors. The healthiest people I know don't ever see doctors.
- davidwparker 4y ago
  It really makes sense though. I don't think it's because they don't go to therapy though. Look at the five levels they provide: * Every day * 5–6 times per week * 3–4 times per week * 1–2 times per week * Less than weekly Most people I know who go to therapy go once or twice a month. Very few go weekly, and I don't know anyone who goes 3+ times a week.
  - coffeebeqn 4y ago
    Every day? Are they like at a mental hospital or just too much money but not enough people to talk to?
- scajanus 4y ago
  You don't think there's a causal relationship between being unhappy and seeking therapy? Also the goal of therapy is to get to a place where you can quit it, so it makes sense that once people are more content with their lives they wouldn't go anymore.
  - borroka 4y ago
    The goal of therapy should be to get you to a point where you can quit. The therapist's goal may or may not be (I prefer the "may not be") to get you to a point where you can quit. I am not saying that it is in the interest of therapists to keep someone in therapy, and thus pay them, for as long as possible, but at the same time there seems to be, especially for some therapists, an almost endless reservoir of people who have been led to believe that talk therapy is much more useful than it is empirically. I don't think that the majority of therapists are worried about losing a paying customer due to a significant improvement in their mental condition. The therapist provides a service with some practice that hopefully leads to some goal, but without excessive professional and emotional investment in the outcome of therapy. After the 50th minute of the session, however, you are on your own.
thenerdhead 4y ago
What about spending time with family in the house/in general? While there's data about spending time outside the house, it seems quite low and infrequent. Is it safe to assume that true happiness comes from putting yourself first and then your family? Would be interesting to see what constitutes a happiness expert and what type of work they do. I sincerely worry that people who sell happiness(for profit) are those who themselves are most unhappy.
MarkusWandel 4y ago
No article loaded for me, so I risk a "didn't read, but comment anyway" situation. Quite a few years ago, there was the "Seven habits of highly successful people" (or something similar) fad. The idea being if only you can copy these habits, you, too will be successful. Except it doesn't work that way. These habits are more a symptom of the sort of personality that is successful, rather than a cause of success. My personal impression is that people have a "happiness set point" that is more or less a hardwired part of their personality. Chronically happy people will be so even if their life isn't so great, and chronically unhappy people will be so even with good success metrics. Trying to move your happiness set point by emulating habits of happy people may not work very well, no better than trying to tell a chronically depressed person "just cheer up" or a chronically overweight person "just eat less".
- VieEnCode 4y ago
  That might be true up to a point, but I suspect that enough adversity, poverty and physical and mental ill health can crush the sunniest of dispositions.
  - wintermutestwin 4y ago
    Yes, but conversely, therapy, self-examination, habit change, etc can elevate the gloomiest of dispositions. The point is that we are mutable.
- escapedmoose 4y ago
  Anecdotal counterpoint: I’ve always been a very happy person, and I coincidentally tend to do most of the activities the experts listed. I’ve also experimentally dropped some of the activities purposefully from time to time to see how they affect my mood (in hopes of getting some free time back). Sleep, exercise, and time spent in nature are the essentials for me: when I don’t have time for them, everything goes to shit. I’ve found that my mood also decreases pretty drastically when I don’t work on hobbies. I also need to at least talk to friends/family even if just on the phone or texting. Meditation is sort of in the middle, with only a slight affect on my happiness, so I dropped it. Prayer doesn’t do much for me, and I’ve never tried therapy. Spending time on social media, news, and/or Reddit completely destroys my mood. That’s my personal hierarchy. The major points align with the “experts.” And IME, the activities do affect my mood, not necessarily the other way around.
anonymousnotme 4y ago
There are 2 main things that make us not happy: 1. not accepting the past. 2. fear of the future. One can't change the past, so being angry, having grief, or whatever emotion one has where one is not accepting of the past feeds negative energy; just accept what has happened in the past because it can't be changed. FYI - think of life as a movies that one has a unique view of; nobody else has the view you do, appreciate it and be greatful for the experience. Also, one can't predict/control the future, so spending time being fearful of it also feeds negative energy. Accept that the future will bring exactly what one needs to grow. Be happy by accepting the past and not worrying about the future.
- VieEnCode 4y ago
  "Accept that the future will bring exactly what one needs to grow." Sorry, but this is panglossian nonsense.
  - anonymousnotme 4y ago
    Think of being optimistic or (positive) as a placebo that one has a positive view about. Is it realistic that one can be happy and have a negative view about the future? If one has a positive view; wouldn't it follow that one is more likely to be happy. Also, if something most people would be considered bad happens and one thinks that it is helping them grow, one is more likele to accept what just happend. If one does not accept the past, there is no way to be happy. So, think of it as prepping to accepting a past that might be painful or most would consider bad.
- algoatecorn 4y ago
  That's an interesting take. In my case, I'm proud of my past and have no regrets. I'm also incredibly excited for the future. But I'm displeased with the present and have to constantly remind myself of the "means to an end". Currently stuck in a field that I don't enjoy, but I'm another year away from completing my master's in the field I would rather be in. But, I gotta pay the bills
- id 4y ago
  When I have been unhappy in my life, it was never about the past or future. It always had to do with the present.
asah 4y ago
+1000 (to my surprose) some nits: 1. everyone's happiness is different. Families are the extreme: I know lots of people in all 4 quadrants of kids/nokids, happy/unhappy. Western culture says that kids=happiness and no-kids=emptiness, but I'm here to tell you that's total and obvious BS. Hobbies are another silliness, again all 4 quadrants, INCLUDING miserable people addicted to their hobbies or using them to hide from unfulfilled lives. Sleep? all 4 quadrants, INCLUDING miserable people who sleep. Excitement? Education? etc etc etc - all 4 quadrants for everything. 2. people are fulfilled/happy/energetic/etc or less, at different times in their lives, and it's really true that sometimes you need to experience a period to find happiness in the next ("growth"). Eat, pray, love, kumbaya, and so on. One of my dearest and most happy/fulfilled friends recently lost his wife and he's miserable, barely holding on - but he recognizes this grieving period and leaning in on his Jewish heritage and year of mourning. Also, times of great learning can be miserable while you're going through them. 3. the survey was around weekly habits, but I've found that my happiness requires "everything in moderation, even moderation" - which includes annual deep-dive projects that utterly destroy any sense of balance, in order to "ship" something professionally or personally. More subtly, regular habbits need to be changed at different times in my life, including diet, exercise, sleep and so on. hope this helps.
crazal 4y ago
Day 1 100 mg of Ecstasy Day 2 Repeat Day 1
- collyw 4y ago
  Short term pleasure is not the same as long term happiness. The Dali Lama says something to that effect.
sandworm101 4y ago
>John Zelenski, a psychology professor at Carleton University >Barbara Fredrickson, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill >Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Sounds like the real path is to win a good job at a large educational institution that allows you the time off to do all the things you need to be happy. I'd rather hear from those "experts" who manage to find happiness when not sitting under a tree on a sunny campus. Where is the expert who works 16-hour shifts on north sea oil rigs?
- collyw 4y ago
  > director of the Greater Good Science Center Sinister sounding. The greater good has been the excuse for some of the worst atrocities in history.
  - greesil 4y ago
    You're thinking of the Greater Good by Oppressing Minorities and Nonconformists Science Center
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
  - sandworm101 4y ago
    (Greater Good) (Science Center) or (Greater) (Good Science Center) My first reading is actually the later. It sounds to me like a science center that was amalgamated or expended into a "greater" version.
    - lalopalota 4y ago
      Ah yes, when the Good Science Center acquired the Pretty Good Science Center.
- wturner 4y ago
  Self help fluff is the drop in replacement for economic instability by the psychotherapy world. Economics is too political and “like the weather” it’s just a natural phenomena that nobody can do anything about (sarcasm)
possiblydrunk 4y ago
Engaging in activities you feel you have control over, in general, will make you happier.
collyw 4y ago
> Other questions we asked—like “is happiness a choice?”—sparked disagreement. So called experts.
jdmtheNth 4y ago
If you're actively seeking happiness, or somehow believe you deserve it, you'll never have it.
fedeb95 4y ago
A is subjective, but every person we asked about A agrees on B. See why induction isn't great in this context. This are the kind of things that make me close a web page.
eshack94 4y ago
How can I become a "happiness expert"? How does one acquire such a prestigious job title?

83 points by lxm 4y ago

https://archive.ph/0kn6F https://archive.ph/0kn6F

boh 4y ago

Happiness is overrated. Having your own individual culture center around self-satisfaction limits your scope as a person. Being responsible, cultivating your abilities, furthering your beliefs and values, can make you pretty miserable, but nobody gets in the history books for being happy. Also there's nothing more fake than a "happiness expert".

_yb2s 4y ago
This was exactly my attitude until I read the article…. I think it agrees with you, but goes a bit deeper, e.g. in the importance of being authentic and not suppressing negative emotions.
bryanlarsen 4y ago
This is an example of where English falls down. Your definition of happiness appears to be almost the complete opposite of the definition used in the article. This is also very well trod ground, Plato did a good job on it. Plato would have called your definition of happiness hedonism. He would have called the articles definition of happiness eudaimonism, and that lines up pretty good with what you said can make you miserable. Plato and happiness scientists generally agree that eudaimonism is the best route to long term happiness. Perhaps we should just stop using the word happiness and use the words pleasure and satisfaction instead.
- kaon123 4y ago
  Yes! Often satisfaction and pleasure are in a conflicting relationship. When you ask a software developer that has worked for 3 years on a "successful" side project. He will probably tell you that it cost him lots of evenings he could have been seeing friends or sleeping. Yet that same person may feel very satisfied for having done so. Still. It is difficult territory. Dissatisfaction is often leads to action that can then lead to "societal success". Should you be dissatisfied then? The Tony Robbinses of the world might say yes!
- circlefavshape 4y ago
  > Plato and happiness scientists generally agree that eudaimonism is the best route to long term happiness. I think you're misconstruing this a bit. Plato and some happiness scientists see eudaimonia as superior to "affect" (the actual emotional state of "happy"). One is not a route to the other. Daniel Kahneman is, as far as I can make out, a hedonist and so, fwiw, am I. To me eudaimonia is just smugness
- boh 4y ago
  Happiness is similar to the word "freedom" , in that it can mean anything to anyone (with freedom used in equal measure by rebels, despots and used car salesmen). Words like these are more used for emotional aesthetics rather than a descriptive expression. These words are so persistent in our culture because they essentially have no meaning. It doesn't matter how the article or "happiness experts" define happiness because their definitions are circumstantial and irrelevant. The meaningless of the word "happiness" remains intact. It's closer to a secular faith than an actual phenomenon. Yes you might've felt happy but a persistent state of "happiness" is more a sign of a manic episode than an actual reality you can buy for yourself or hire someone (like the ridiculous people in the article) to achieve.
oscarb92 4y ago
You seem to be confusing happiness with hedonism.
knowhy 4y ago
Slavoj Žižek [1] sees happiness as a conformist category. He argues that: > We don't really want what we think we desire. [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
brodo 4y ago
> nobody gets in the history books for being happy. “Getting in the history books” aka fame is per definition never going to happen for most people. An important part of growing up is recognizing that you are neither rich nor famous and properly won’t be. General life advice needs to take that into account.
cortesoft 4y ago
> but nobody gets in the history books for being happy. You state this like getting in history books is a universal desire, or a common goal for everyone. Why is getting in history books a desired thing?
pcrh 4y ago
>Happiness is overrated. I had fun once. It was awful.

_yb2s 4y ago

This is great advice, and not the cliche nonsense I expected it to be.

jollyllama 4y ago
Yeah I was expecting "do fun stuff as a tax write-off"

hirundo 4y ago

Funny that yard work didn't make the list, it works for me. A decade and a half ago I bought a rural multi-acre densely wooded lot. In the last few years I've made a habit out of going out to tame it daily with chainsaws, wheelbarrows, rakes, etc. Usually less than an hour at a time, on a lunch break from my remote job. It was a royal slog that I dreaded in the beginning. But from the start it was a mood-improver, and subconsciously I caught on, because I've come to look forward to it and to enjoy it for itself. It gets me outside and in motion, with a reasonable amount of exertion. Doing it without hurting myself requires enough attention to pry me away from my other problems. It relaxes and somehow elevates rather than detaching me. The cleaning up satisfies my subclinical OCD in a deep way. Yard work has become a privilege that came with this property rather than a responsibility and chore. So now the job is almost done and I'm looking longingly over the fence at my neighbors' wild yards. Maybe I'll make a deal with them, or maybe find some other way of generating happiness from being outdoors and working hard with natural randomness. Like gardening.

matthewaveryusa 4y ago
Gardening is a super-hobby: It hits the exercise, creativity, and nature aspects. If you do it with a partner that's time outside the house you're spending with family. It's also free, and at the end of it you typically get the sense of accomplishment. Can't say it better than Voltaire: "Il faut cultiver notre jardin"
- soiler 4y ago
  Gardening is free? Maybe if you invest 3-12 months in making your own compost first, inherit a few tools, have a good amount of arable soil on your property, and collect seeds/cuttings from friends who are already accomplished gardeners. Otherwise, it adds up. Still worth it though!
  - hooverd 4y ago
    Herbs and tomatoes and peppers are worth growing yourself and can be grown in a small space. Everything else leads to the most expensive veggies you've ever eaten and they're really not better than something from the farmers market or even grocery store.

vorpalhex 4y ago

> If anyone knows the secret to happiness, it’s surely the people who have dedicated their careers to studying it. The first thing they’ll tell you? Being happy all the time isn’t a feasible—or even desirable—goal. If the happiness experts had said happiness is overrated and to not bother, would time have written that? How does one qualify as a happiness expert? Is there a post-intervention survey?

jraby3 4y ago
I saw a TED talk about the happiest man on the planet. It was a French molecular biologist who became a Buddhist monk and spent 25 years meditating. They tested his brain with an fMRI machine and found that he was 4 standard deviations above the average when it came to the place in his brain where they suspected happiness stemmed from. IMO he’s qualified as a happiness expert. Not sure about these writers though.
- anonymousnotme 4y ago
  I would think a lot of long time meditators are much more in touch with reality and accept the past and don't worry about the future. So, I would expect them as a group to be much more likely to be happy. I would expect all enlighted individuals to be happy.
- javier123454321 4y ago
  You are right, there's actually two and a half millenia of people in eastern traditions dedicating their entire lives to 1. Achieving happiness, and 2. Developing a methodology for achieving that state to others. It's called Buddhism, and if anyone, they are the happiness experts. The western scientific tradition is just starting in this journey (about 50 years of scientific studies exist on people that are considered high meditation achievers). One of the main ideas of buddhism lacks a good translation, but it is in the fact that understanding something intellectually is NOT the same as understanding something experientially. That's apparent in the way this article is laid out. Just because you have been studying happiness doesn't mean you experience it. This difference in types of knowledge is key, and so foundational at the highest levels of buddhist tantra that working with the intellect is often seen as an impediment. That's why Buddhism is seen as a practice above a religion or philosophy.

googlryas 4y ago

I take issue with the opening statement: > If anyone knows the secret to happiness, it’s surely the people who have dedicated their careers to studying it Just because you study something doesn't mean you live the life. There was a fun little study that showed professional ethicists don't act particularly more ethical than the average person: https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-their-mothers https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-t...

kwhitefoot 4y ago
And economists aren't all rich either!
- Eddy_Viscosity2 4y ago
  Some are! The ones who had rich parents anyway. Turns out an important habit of successful people, often left off these lists, is being born into wealth.
  - SoftTalker 4y ago
    Wealthy people teach their kids how to manage money for growth and/or preservation. It's frighteningly easy for someone who has no experience with wealth to squander a fortune very quickly. Look at big lottery winners who spend it all and end up in bankruptcy. It's more than just inheriting money from your parents; they teach you how to keep it.
    - dkqmduems 4y ago
      Is this your answer to the chicken and the egg question?
    - skyyler 4y ago
      Do you think it's possible for a poor family to teach their kids how to manage money for growth?

ausbah 4y ago

so when they mention in the article happiness is probably both something you actively do but also a byproduct of your environment. i imagine when you ask experts on happiness who presumably are happy themselves about their habits, the causal relation cuts boths ways? like if you are inherently unhappy but start doing these habits your environment will improve and you'll become happier somewhat while you still may not feel "100% happy" bc these habits don't engage with that internal mode of happiness?

escapedmoose 4y ago
I went into more detail in another comment, but tldr I’ve experimented in the past with dropping some of these activities to see how it affects my mood. Above all else, sleep, exercise, and time spent in nature are essential to my personal happiness. Without these things my mood drops pretty quickly. Therefore I believe that someone who doesn’t already get these things would see an improved mood by adding them.

engineer_22 4y ago

According to the article, 50% of happiness experts go to weekly or monthly therapy/support groups. The other 50% do not.

jobs_throwaway 4y ago
found that bit interesting as well. A lot of pop culture today would have you think this would be 100%

octobus2021 4y ago

I've read "The Happiness Advantage" on (then-)emerging field of positive psychology, which I strongly recommend to anybody interested in improving their mental wellness. It's not too big, well structured, and contains both research as well as practical advice/techniques. I also noticed how aligned it is with cognitive-behavioural therapy.

Existenceblinks 4y ago

Looked at the "Share of experts surveyed who say they engage in these weekly happiness habits" and it immediately turned me off. Time time time. What is it something something that buy time? Bingo!

joenot443 4y ago

Did anyone else find it telling that "Engage with support groups or therapist" was the activity with the lowest engagement? Anecdotally this makes sense to me; the people I'm close with who struggle the most with finding day-to-day happiness are usually the ones who spend the most time in therapy. Not that the relationship is causal, of course, it's more just interesting to observe that lots of therapy doesn't seem necessary to maintain a positive baseline.

syncbehind 4y ago
>the people I'm close with who struggle the most with finding day-to-day happiness are usually the ones who spend the most time in therapy Funny, I thought the same thing about the amount of sick people visiting doctors. The healthiest people I know don't ever see doctors.
davidwparker 4y ago
It really makes sense though. I don't think it's because they don't go to therapy though. Look at the five levels they provide: * Every day * 5–6 times per week * 3–4 times per week * 1–2 times per week * Less than weekly Most people I know who go to therapy go once or twice a month. Very few go weekly, and I don't know anyone who goes 3+ times a week.
- coffeebeqn 4y ago
  Every day? Are they like at a mental hospital or just too much money but not enough people to talk to?
scajanus 4y ago
You don't think there's a causal relationship between being unhappy and seeking therapy? Also the goal of therapy is to get to a place where you can quit it, so it makes sense that once people are more content with their lives they wouldn't go anymore.
- borroka 4y ago
  The goal of therapy should be to get you to a point where you can quit. The therapist's goal may or may not be (I prefer the "may not be") to get you to a point where you can quit. I am not saying that it is in the interest of therapists to keep someone in therapy, and thus pay them, for as long as possible, but at the same time there seems to be, especially for some therapists, an almost endless reservoir of people who have been led to believe that talk therapy is much more useful than it is empirically. I don't think that the majority of therapists are worried about losing a paying customer due to a significant improvement in their mental condition. The therapist provides a service with some practice that hopefully leads to some goal, but without excessive professional and emotional investment in the outcome of therapy. After the 50th minute of the session, however, you are on your own.

thenerdhead 4y ago

What about spending time with family in the house/in general? While there's data about spending time outside the house, it seems quite low and infrequent. Is it safe to assume that true happiness comes from putting yourself first and then your family? Would be interesting to see what constitutes a happiness expert and what type of work they do. I sincerely worry that people who sell happiness(for profit) are those who themselves are most unhappy.

MarkusWandel 4y ago

No article loaded for me, so I risk a "didn't read, but comment anyway" situation. Quite a few years ago, there was the "Seven habits of highly successful people" (or something similar) fad. The idea being if only you can copy these habits, you, too will be successful. Except it doesn't work that way. These habits are more a symptom of the sort of personality that is successful, rather than a cause of success. My personal impression is that people have a "happiness set point" that is more or less a hardwired part of their personality. Chronically happy people will be so even if their life isn't so great, and chronically unhappy people will be so even with good success metrics. Trying to move your happiness set point by emulating habits of happy people may not work very well, no better than trying to tell a chronically depressed person "just cheer up" or a chronically overweight person "just eat less".

VieEnCode 4y ago
That might be true up to a point, but I suspect that enough adversity, poverty and physical and mental ill health can crush the sunniest of dispositions.
- wintermutestwin 4y ago
  Yes, but conversely, therapy, self-examination, habit change, etc can elevate the gloomiest of dispositions. The point is that we are mutable.
escapedmoose 4y ago
Anecdotal counterpoint: I’ve always been a very happy person, and I coincidentally tend to do most of the activities the experts listed. I’ve also experimentally dropped some of the activities purposefully from time to time to see how they affect my mood (in hopes of getting some free time back). Sleep, exercise, and time spent in nature are the essentials for me: when I don’t have time for them, everything goes to shit. I’ve found that my mood also decreases pretty drastically when I don’t work on hobbies. I also need to at least talk to friends/family even if just on the phone or texting. Meditation is sort of in the middle, with only a slight affect on my happiness, so I dropped it. Prayer doesn’t do much for me, and I’ve never tried therapy. Spending time on social media, news, and/or Reddit completely destroys my mood. That’s my personal hierarchy. The major points align with the “experts.” And IME, the activities do affect my mood, not necessarily the other way around.

anonymousnotme 4y ago

There are 2 main things that make us not happy: 1. not accepting the past. 2. fear of the future. One can't change the past, so being angry, having grief, or whatever emotion one has where one is not accepting of the past feeds negative energy; just accept what has happened in the past because it can't be changed. FYI - think of life as a movies that one has a unique view of; nobody else has the view you do, appreciate it and be greatful for the experience. Also, one can't predict/control the future, so spending time being fearful of it also feeds negative energy. Accept that the future will bring exactly what one needs to grow. Be happy by accepting the past and not worrying about the future.

VieEnCode 4y ago
"Accept that the future will bring exactly what one needs to grow." Sorry, but this is panglossian nonsense.
- anonymousnotme 4y ago
  Think of being optimistic or (positive) as a placebo that one has a positive view about. Is it realistic that one can be happy and have a negative view about the future? If one has a positive view; wouldn't it follow that one is more likely to be happy. Also, if something most people would be considered bad happens and one thinks that it is helping them grow, one is more likele to accept what just happend. If one does not accept the past, there is no way to be happy. So, think of it as prepping to accepting a past that might be painful or most would consider bad.
algoatecorn 4y ago
That's an interesting take. In my case, I'm proud of my past and have no regrets. I'm also incredibly excited for the future. But I'm displeased with the present and have to constantly remind myself of the "means to an end". Currently stuck in a field that I don't enjoy, but I'm another year away from completing my master's in the field I would rather be in. But, I gotta pay the bills
id 4y ago
When I have been unhappy in my life, it was never about the past or future. It always had to do with the present.

asah 4y ago

+1000 (to my surprose) some nits: 1. everyone's happiness is different. Families are the extreme: I know lots of people in all 4 quadrants of kids/nokids, happy/unhappy. Western culture says that kids=happiness and no-kids=emptiness, but I'm here to tell you that's total and obvious BS. Hobbies are another silliness, again all 4 quadrants, INCLUDING miserable people addicted to their hobbies or using them to hide from unfulfilled lives. Sleep? all 4 quadrants, INCLUDING miserable people who sleep. Excitement? Education? etc etc etc - all 4 quadrants for everything. 2. people are fulfilled/happy/energetic/etc or less, at different times in their lives, and it's really true that sometimes you need to experience a period to find happiness in the next ("growth"). Eat, pray, love, kumbaya, and so on. One of my dearest and most happy/fulfilled friends recently lost his wife and he's miserable, barely holding on - but he recognizes this grieving period and leaning in on his Jewish heritage and year of mourning. Also, times of great learning can be miserable while you're going through them. 3. the survey was around weekly habits, but I've found that my happiness requires "everything in moderation, even moderation" - which includes annual deep-dive projects that utterly destroy any sense of balance, in order to "ship" something professionally or personally. More subtly, regular habbits need to be changed at different times in my life, including diet, exercise, sleep and so on. hope this helps.

crazal 4y ago

Day 1 100 mg of Ecstasy Day 2 Repeat Day 1

collyw 4y ago
Short term pleasure is not the same as long term happiness. The Dali Lama says something to that effect.

sandworm101 4y ago

>John Zelenski, a psychology professor at Carleton University >Barbara Fredrickson, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill >Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Sounds like the real path is to win a good job at a large educational institution that allows you the time off to do all the things you need to be happy. I'd rather hear from those "experts" who manage to find happiness when not sitting under a tree on a sunny campus. Where is the expert who works 16-hour shifts on north sea oil rigs?

collyw 4y ago
> director of the Greater Good Science Center Sinister sounding. The greater good has been the excuse for some of the worst atrocities in history.
- greesil 4y ago
  You're thinking of the Greater Good by Oppressing Minorities and Nonconformists Science Center
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
- sandworm101 4y ago
  (Greater Good) (Science Center) or (Greater) (Good Science Center) My first reading is actually the later. It sounds to me like a science center that was amalgamated or expended into a "greater" version.
  - lalopalota 4y ago
    Ah yes, when the Good Science Center acquired the Pretty Good Science Center.
wturner 4y ago
Self help fluff is the drop in replacement for economic instability by the psychotherapy world. Economics is too political and “like the weather” it’s just a natural phenomena that nobody can do anything about (sarcasm)

possiblydrunk 4y ago

Engaging in activities you feel you have control over, in general, will make you happier.

collyw 4y ago

> Other questions we asked—like “is happiness a choice?”—sparked disagreement. So called experts.

jdmtheNth 4y ago

If you're actively seeking happiness, or somehow believe you deserve it, you'll never have it.

fedeb95 4y ago

A is subjective, but every person we asked about A agrees on B. See why induction isn't great in this context. This are the kind of things that make me close a web page.

eshack94 4y ago

How can I become a "happiness expert"? How does one acquire such a prestigious job title?