11 ms·

I interrupt sometimes because of my ADHD, not because I am rude, but because I am disabled. If I don't get it out, it'll be lost forever. Its important to remem

by Reptur 4y ago

I interrupt sometimes because of my ADHD, not because I am rude, but because I am disabled. If I don't get it out, it'll be lost forever. Its important to remember not everyone is running on the same playing field.

jraph 4y ago
Would you be able to write it down on paper? When I'm interrupted, I often lose my train of thought. I might be able to recover it after some struggle, but not always, and it's very exhausting and I often give up, especially if it happens several times in a short time span. Articulating words and sentences and thoughts is a slow and tiring process for me. So how would we do if we had to speak together? I will let someone speak as soon as possible if they express the need to speak with some body / face clue however.
- SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
  I’ve tried to do this but it’s intimidating or distracting to the person you’re conversing with when you suddenly start taking notes as they speak.
  - jraph 4y ago
    I guess a possible solution would be avoiding long monologues. I easily get bored when someone speaks for a long time.
  - borski 4y ago
    It’s not, if you explain why. It’s quite easy to say “I have ADHD, so if you see me taking notes it’s because I don’t want to interrupt but also don’t want to forget my thoughts, so please don’t be bothered by it” and I do this all the time when I strike up an important conversation with someone new.
- louthy 4y ago
  > Would you be able to write it down on paper? That would require a pen and paper to hand, forever, just in case you end up in a conversation. The act of finding said pen & paper would be enough for it to be gone forever.
  - burnished 4y ago
    Pick a pocket to keep your paper and writing utensil in forever. Back right was mine for years.
  - borski 4y ago
    Or the notes app on your phone, or an open text editor on your laptop, or a nearby whiteboard, or the URL bar of your browser… It’s doable; it’s not easy, but it’s doable. (I also have ADHD)
timr 4y ago
> I interrupt sometimes because of my ADHD, not because I am rude, but because I am disabled. If I don't get it out, it'll be lost forever. Its important to remember not everyone is running on the same playing field. Is it? Just because that is your tendency doesn't mean that the other person must adapt to your behavior or redefine their perception of polite conversation. You could also resolve to interrupt less often, even at the expense of losing some input into the conversation. I don't have ADHD but I do have a crappy short-term memory, and this is what I try to do. People routinely overflow my stack, and when it comes my turn to talk, I pop whatever is off the top. Or I'll simply ask someone to repeat whatever they just said: "sorry, you said something interesting a moment ago, but I lost it...the thing just before $blah." Admittedly this is a gray area, and there are disabilities (speech issues, Tourette's, etc.) where a polite listener will make accommodations. But it's a lot to ask someone to forgive chronic interruption, when the reason for the interruption is that you're afraid you might forget things. I imagine that most people have things that they wish they'd have said at such-and-such a time.
- klodolph 4y ago
  There’s a middle ground here—there’s no objective standard for what polite conversation is. It’s not only cultural, differing depending on the context and cultural backgrounds of the participants, but idiosyncratic, depending on the particular individuals involved. “I have a hard time in conversations, I hope my interruptions aren’t too much, please let me know if I need to dial it back” is a perfectly workable request. Good people are willing to adapt to the behaviors of neurodivergent people, even when those behavior would otherwise be seen as impolite.
mickelsen 4y ago
Yeah, it's really interesting how I'm able not to blurt out stuff interrupting a peer mid-sentence when on stimulants, versus without, where I'd do that without thinking to the point of saying sorry, and go into circular trains of thought where it takes sometime to get to the core idea. I've also been in the other end, normally when I'm sleep deprived + stimulant; I'd get very irritated with interruptions, sort of like the classical type-A obsessive coworker with little patience that we all hate. There also some cultures more or less tolerant to this, in Germany people can be quite anal about this, similar to North America in colder states, while in southern Europe it's fine.
- stillringing 4y ago
  Sorry for going off topic, but I found your earlier comment about tinnitus and can't reply there. I also got tinnitus from bupropion and have other similarities with your case. I'm wondering if you're open to comparing notes. If so you can reach me at darlingeffect6 at gmail, or let me know how I can contact you. Thanks!
  - mickelsen 4y ago
    Hey! Just wrote you to that address, mind that it comes from a Proton email so I'd check the spam folder. Otherwise reach me at mickelsenhn at proton me :)
skmurphy 4y ago
I understand about ADHD and not losing the idea, but consider writing it down instead. You can bring it into the conversation later and you can also revise it once you have gotten it out of your head. I carry 3x5 cards for this reason so I don't lose ideas when they occur to me.

by Reptur 4y ago

jraph 4y ago

Would you be able to write it down on paper? When I'm interrupted, I often lose my train of thought. I might be able to recover it after some struggle, but not always, and it's very exhausting and I often give up, especially if it happens several times in a short time span. Articulating words and sentences and thoughts is a slow and tiring process for me. So how would we do if we had to speak together? I will let someone speak as soon as possible if they express the need to speak with some body / face clue however.

SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
I’ve tried to do this but it’s intimidating or distracting to the person you’re conversing with when you suddenly start taking notes as they speak.
- jraph 4y ago
  I guess a possible solution would be avoiding long monologues. I easily get bored when someone speaks for a long time.
- borski 4y ago
  It’s not, if you explain why. It’s quite easy to say “I have ADHD, so if you see me taking notes it’s because I don’t want to interrupt but also don’t want to forget my thoughts, so please don’t be bothered by it” and I do this all the time when I strike up an important conversation with someone new.
louthy 4y ago
> Would you be able to write it down on paper? That would require a pen and paper to hand, forever, just in case you end up in a conversation. The act of finding said pen & paper would be enough for it to be gone forever.
- burnished 4y ago
  Pick a pocket to keep your paper and writing utensil in forever. Back right was mine for years.
- borski 4y ago
  Or the notes app on your phone, or an open text editor on your laptop, or a nearby whiteboard, or the URL bar of your browser… It’s doable; it’s not easy, but it’s doable. (I also have ADHD)

timr 4y ago

> I interrupt sometimes because of my ADHD, not because I am rude, but because I am disabled. If I don't get it out, it'll be lost forever. Its important to remember not everyone is running on the same playing field. Is it? Just because that is your tendency doesn't mean that the other person must adapt to your behavior or redefine their perception of polite conversation. You could also resolve to interrupt less often, even at the expense of losing some input into the conversation. I don't have ADHD but I do have a crappy short-term memory, and this is what I try to do. People routinely overflow my stack, and when it comes my turn to talk, I pop whatever is off the top. Or I'll simply ask someone to repeat whatever they just said: "sorry, you said something interesting a moment ago, but I lost it...the thing just before $blah." Admittedly this is a gray area, and there are disabilities (speech issues, Tourette's, etc.) where a polite listener will make accommodations. But it's a lot to ask someone to forgive chronic interruption, when the reason for the interruption is that you're afraid you might forget things. I imagine that most people have things that they wish they'd have said at such-and-such a time.

klodolph 4y ago
There’s a middle ground here—there’s no objective standard for what polite conversation is. It’s not only cultural, differing depending on the context and cultural backgrounds of the participants, but idiosyncratic, depending on the particular individuals involved. “I have a hard time in conversations, I hope my interruptions aren’t too much, please let me know if I need to dial it back” is a perfectly workable request. Good people are willing to adapt to the behaviors of neurodivergent people, even when those behavior would otherwise be seen as impolite.

mickelsen 4y ago

Yeah, it's really interesting how I'm able not to blurt out stuff interrupting a peer mid-sentence when on stimulants, versus without, where I'd do that without thinking to the point of saying sorry, and go into circular trains of thought where it takes sometime to get to the core idea. I've also been in the other end, normally when I'm sleep deprived + stimulant; I'd get very irritated with interruptions, sort of like the classical type-A obsessive coworker with little patience that we all hate. There also some cultures more or less tolerant to this, in Germany people can be quite anal about this, similar to North America in colder states, while in southern Europe it's fine.

stillringing 4y ago
Sorry for going off topic, but I found your earlier comment about tinnitus and can't reply there. I also got tinnitus from bupropion and have other similarities with your case. I'm wondering if you're open to comparing notes. If so you can reach me at darlingeffect6 at gmail, or let me know how I can contact you. Thanks!
- mickelsen 4y ago
  Hey! Just wrote you to that address, mind that it comes from a Proton email so I'd check the spam folder. Otherwise reach me at mickelsenhn at proton me :)

skmurphy 4y ago

I understand about ADHD and not losing the idea, but consider writing it down instead. You can bring it into the conversation later and you can also revise it once you have gotten it out of your head. I carry 3x5 cards for this reason so I don't lose ideas when they occur to me.