6 ms·

What do you do with her when you are out with friends? Restaurants, etc?

by adaml_623 4y ago

mixmastamyk 4y ago
Sit quietly, talk, color, maybe read. Is this hard to believe? We did that.
- factsarelolz 4y ago
  A 2-3 year old sitting there quietly talking, coloring or reading? Yeah it's very very very hard to believe. Even if the child is an absolute saint there's such things as sensory overload.
  - benjaminwootton 4y ago
    Are you guys being serious? It would be a cold day in hell before my children sat at a dinner table with an ipad for entertainment! A 3 year old talking, colouring, playing games etc before food arrives is absolutely normal and acheivable!
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
    - nkohari 4y ago
      What works for some doesn't work for everyone. Parents should do what works for them and their kids, without judgement.
      - HideousKojima 4y ago
        Seeing as parents were able to bring kids with them to places long before screens even existed, it's definitely not just a matter of what does or doesn't work. Kids can be taught to be well-behaved without screens, and if you're unable to do that for your kids then that's on you. And I'll judge you as much as I like.
        nkohari 4y ago
        There's nothing more sanctimonious than a person judging someone else's parenting. Personally, I think it's pathetic, but I'll leave you to it.
      - mixmastamyk 4y ago
        I do agree that different kids are different. Ours were often good. However I absolutely did not tolerate poor behavior either. If things got dicey (rarely) I escorted one outside until the storm passed. Never took longer than five minutes. Turning them into zombies instead never occurred to me.
        smeej 4y ago
        This is such an important note. Of course kids get overwhelmed. Adults get overwhelmed. One of the main reasons kids melt down over it is because they're not just overwhelmed, but trapped. An adult can excuse themselves, step out for some fresh air, go to the bathroom, or even go home. Knowing how and when to do that is an important skill. Kids need that outlet too, and they need their parents to be attuned to their needs and help them manage. If a kid is melting down at a restaurant, they need help from an adult who ought to have some idea what the child needs and how to provide it. Too many parents seem to think their own desire for an uninterrupted meal is more important than their child's basic biological need to be able to get out of an overwhelming situation. It's not fair to trap someone somewhere they don't want to be and then blame them for becoming upset.
      - Aeolun 4y ago
        Lol, try telling that to the no screen crowd.
    - D13Fd 4y ago
      Right on. I’m always amazed when we go to a restaurant and there are kids on iPads while eating. There is no question that iPads are the easiest solution, but it’s rarely the best solution, and it’s certainly not necessary. Humanity survived for thousands of years without having iPads for kiddos at restaurants.
      - theonething 4y ago
        > kids on iPads while eating. Thing is that statement applies to a lot of the adults (with phones) in the restaurant too. It's sad and telling.
  - ceejayoz 4y ago
    If you bring kids to restaurants early, they get used to the rules quite quickly. If they can figure out a touchscreen, they can figure out how to sit politely at the table. Mine were very happy to draw, read picture books, etc. at that age.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
  - anon291 4y ago
    My daughter is verifiably not a saint, and she sits and eats dinner and chats with adults. This should be the base expectation of any child, within reason. Yes, she can color; yes, sometimes the adults have to entertain children's stories; yes, we pay attention to her. But otherwise, she's incredibly enjoyable to bring out to restaurants and such with the right environment.
    - mixmastamyk 4y ago
      Reminds me once when we sat down next to a fancy older woman on a flight with our toddler. Could see the lady visibly tense up when she saw us—expecting a screaming monster. Didn't happen. Kid sat in my lap and had charmed the socks off the lady within the first hour and we had a nice chat with her after she warmed up.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
ceejayoz 4y ago
Kids went to these places before smartphones. Restaurants, for example, tend to have crayons.
christkv 4y ago
Bring card games, dominos or board games like carcassone junior. The kids will entertain themselves. Set is also very popular.
mercacona 4y ago
Paper and color pencils. Speaking to them, listening to their stories, asking about the place, playing to “guess what I’m watching to”, etc. If friends expect my son to act as a dog, it’s their wrong.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
pea 4y ago
One of the nice things about going to southern Europe (Greece, Spain, Italy, etc.), is the lack of expectations of kids to sit quietly at all. From my experience over the last few years, you go to a restaurant at 10pm and everyone's kids are running around, playing together with strangers, or asleep on their parents. As a parent of a 3 year old in the UK, with friends and restaurants we'd just talk to them or they'd colour, read, etc. Maybe cultural, but it would be seen it as pretty unusual/rude to have a kid with an iPad at a table in a restaurant; although I agree it's a lot to ask of 3 year old to sit there for hours.
theonething 4y ago
Believe or not, especially if we order something she really likes, she'll sit there eating her food and talk to us, making comments about things she notices in her environment. Before the food comes, she'll just look around and make conversation about what she sees. Could this be just her personality and we got lucky? Possibly. But I'm willing to bet it also has to do with her not being used to screens and instead being used to focusing on the environment in front of and around her. There are studies about the association between screen time and ADHD symptoms.
- marapuru 4y ago
  Same here with our son. 2,5 years old and we bring him to restaurants or friends with ease. We don’t entertain him with a phone or screen. He also sits with us, eats with us. Sometimes we do bring a toy car, or pencils for him to draw. But that’s it. Great side effect is that he eats everything. From olives to onions. He sees us eating and he mimics. That’s the whole parenting game imho. I don’t believe you are lucky. You’ve simply set the standard for your child, by _not_ providing a screen for every situation. Well done:-)
  - WarOnPrivacy 4y ago
    I had 5. Two could do restaurants. Two not so well. For the other, we brought toy cars and ordered piles of mashed potatoes for him to drive thru.
    - theonething 4y ago
      > we brought toy cars and ordered piles of mashed potatoes for him to drive thru. Brilliant! Way better than screens in my opinion.
- Aeolun 4y ago
  I think the symptoms/behavior comes first, and the screens come after. My son cannot sit still. He’ll wiggle, jump, run and try to touch/lick everything in existence if he’s not entertained, and what he finds entertaining is exactly the things I mentioned before. And youtube. It’s literally the only way to get him to sit still for any amount of time (that I’ve found anyway), so that’s what restaurant time has become. Doesn’t mean he always wants to or gets to watch a video, especially if he can run about outside instead, but if we’re eating in a restaurant that’s otherwise dreadfully boring to him, yeah.
mehphp 4y ago
This question kind of shocks me. We do allow, very limited, screen-time but the concept of having no idea what to do with the kids without a screen is jarring to say the least.
- adaml_623 4y ago
  Haha. You're easily shocked. I was replying to an interesting comment talking about how they interact with their child. And I was curious about what they do in a situation that they hadn't included in their comment. There are a lot of great replies to my question. I'm happy I asked it.
agotterer 4y ago
I have a 6 and 4 yr old. We've had a strict no screen during the school week rule. They can watch on weekends, holidays, and sick days. There's a zero screen policy in public, with the exception of airplanes and long road trips. My kids are really well behave in restaurant and never ask for screens (I'm not even totally sure they would think of it). The trick for us is regularly flowing food, allowing them to bring bring a small toy, coloring utensils, and honestly just engage with them. That could be through visual and word games or just talking to them and asking the right questions. It's hard work, not every meal out is perfect, and sometimes it feel like it would just be easier to give them the phone. But I'm happy that we've taken this stance. I can't tell you how many times a restaurant owner or a nearby table has said how well behaved our kids are.

What do you do with her when you are out with friends? Restaurants, etc?

mixmastamyk 4y ago

Sit quietly, talk, color, maybe read. Is this hard to believe? We did that.

factsarelolz 4y ago
A 2-3 year old sitting there quietly talking, coloring or reading? Yeah it's very very very hard to believe. Even if the child is an absolute saint there's such things as sensory overload.
- benjaminwootton 4y ago
  Are you guys being serious? It would be a cold day in hell before my children sat at a dinner table with an ipad for entertainment! A 3 year old talking, colouring, playing games etc before food arrives is absolutely normal and acheivable!
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - nkohari 4y ago
    What works for some doesn't work for everyone. Parents should do what works for them and their kids, without judgement.
    - HideousKojima 4y ago
      Seeing as parents were able to bring kids with them to places long before screens even existed, it's definitely not just a matter of what does or doesn't work. Kids can be taught to be well-behaved without screens, and if you're unable to do that for your kids then that's on you. And I'll judge you as much as I like.
      - nkohari 4y ago
        There's nothing more sanctimonious than a person judging someone else's parenting. Personally, I think it's pathetic, but I'll leave you to it.
    - mixmastamyk 4y ago
      I do agree that different kids are different. Ours were often good. However I absolutely did not tolerate poor behavior either. If things got dicey (rarely) I escorted one outside until the storm passed. Never took longer than five minutes. Turning them into zombies instead never occurred to me.
      - smeej 4y ago
        This is such an important note. Of course kids get overwhelmed. Adults get overwhelmed. One of the main reasons kids melt down over it is because they're not just overwhelmed, but trapped. An adult can excuse themselves, step out for some fresh air, go to the bathroom, or even go home. Knowing how and when to do that is an important skill. Kids need that outlet too, and they need their parents to be attuned to their needs and help them manage. If a kid is melting down at a restaurant, they need help from an adult who ought to have some idea what the child needs and how to provide it. Too many parents seem to think their own desire for an uninterrupted meal is more important than their child's basic biological need to be able to get out of an overwhelming situation. It's not fair to trap someone somewhere they don't want to be and then blame them for becoming upset.
    - Aeolun 4y ago
      Lol, try telling that to the no screen crowd.
  - D13Fd 4y ago
    Right on. I’m always amazed when we go to a restaurant and there are kids on iPads while eating. There is no question that iPads are the easiest solution, but it’s rarely the best solution, and it’s certainly not necessary. Humanity survived for thousands of years without having iPads for kiddos at restaurants.
    - theonething 4y ago
      > kids on iPads while eating. Thing is that statement applies to a lot of the adults (with phones) in the restaurant too. It's sad and telling.
- ceejayoz 4y ago
  If you bring kids to restaurants early, they get used to the rules quite quickly. If they can figure out a touchscreen, they can figure out how to sit politely at the table. Mine were very happy to draw, read picture books, etc. at that age.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
- anon291 4y ago
  My daughter is verifiably not a saint, and she sits and eats dinner and chats with adults. This should be the base expectation of any child, within reason. Yes, she can color; yes, sometimes the adults have to entertain children's stories; yes, we pay attention to her. But otherwise, she's incredibly enjoyable to bring out to restaurants and such with the right environment.
  - mixmastamyk 4y ago
    Reminds me once when we sat down next to a fancy older woman on a flight with our toddler. Could see the lady visibly tense up when she saw us—expecting a screaming monster. Didn't happen. Kid sat in my lap and had charmed the socks off the lady within the first hour and we had a nice chat with her after she warmed up.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

ceejayoz 4y ago

Kids went to these places before smartphones. Restaurants, for example, tend to have crayons.

christkv 4y ago

Bring card games, dominos or board games like carcassone junior. The kids will entertain themselves. Set is also very popular.

mercacona 4y ago

Paper and color pencils. Speaking to them, listening to their stories, asking about the place, playing to “guess what I’m watching to”, etc. If friends expect my son to act as a dog, it’s their wrong.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

pea 4y ago

One of the nice things about going to southern Europe (Greece, Spain, Italy, etc.), is the lack of expectations of kids to sit quietly at all. From my experience over the last few years, you go to a restaurant at 10pm and everyone's kids are running around, playing together with strangers, or asleep on their parents. As a parent of a 3 year old in the UK, with friends and restaurants we'd just talk to them or they'd colour, read, etc. Maybe cultural, but it would be seen it as pretty unusual/rude to have a kid with an iPad at a table in a restaurant; although I agree it's a lot to ask of 3 year old to sit there for hours.

theonething 4y ago

Believe or not, especially if we order something she really likes, she'll sit there eating her food and talk to us, making comments about things she notices in her environment. Before the food comes, she'll just look around and make conversation about what she sees. Could this be just her personality and we got lucky? Possibly. But I'm willing to bet it also has to do with her not being used to screens and instead being used to focusing on the environment in front of and around her. There are studies about the association between screen time and ADHD symptoms.

marapuru 4y ago
Same here with our son. 2,5 years old and we bring him to restaurants or friends with ease. We don’t entertain him with a phone or screen. He also sits with us, eats with us. Sometimes we do bring a toy car, or pencils for him to draw. But that’s it. Great side effect is that he eats everything. From olives to onions. He sees us eating and he mimics. That’s the whole parenting game imho. I don’t believe you are lucky. You’ve simply set the standard for your child, by _not_ providing a screen for every situation. Well done:-)
- WarOnPrivacy 4y ago
  I had 5. Two could do restaurants. Two not so well. For the other, we brought toy cars and ordered piles of mashed potatoes for him to drive thru.
  - theonething 4y ago
    > we brought toy cars and ordered piles of mashed potatoes for him to drive thru. Brilliant! Way better than screens in my opinion.
Aeolun 4y ago
I think the symptoms/behavior comes first, and the screens come after. My son cannot sit still. He’ll wiggle, jump, run and try to touch/lick everything in existence if he’s not entertained, and what he finds entertaining is exactly the things I mentioned before. And youtube. It’s literally the only way to get him to sit still for any amount of time (that I’ve found anyway), so that’s what restaurant time has become. Doesn’t mean he always wants to or gets to watch a video, especially if he can run about outside instead, but if we’re eating in a restaurant that’s otherwise dreadfully boring to him, yeah.

mehphp 4y ago

This question kind of shocks me. We do allow, very limited, screen-time but the concept of having no idea what to do with the kids without a screen is jarring to say the least.

adaml_623 4y ago
Haha. You're easily shocked. I was replying to an interesting comment talking about how they interact with their child. And I was curious about what they do in a situation that they hadn't included in their comment. There are a lot of great replies to my question. I'm happy I asked it.

agotterer 4y ago

I have a 6 and 4 yr old. We've had a strict no screen during the school week rule. They can watch on weekends, holidays, and sick days. There's a zero screen policy in public, with the exception of airplanes and long road trips. My kids are really well behave in restaurant and never ask for screens (I'm not even totally sure they would think of it). The trick for us is regularly flowing food, allowing them to bring bring a small toy, coloring utensils, and honestly just engage with them. That could be through visual and word games or just talking to them and asking the right questions. It's hard work, not every meal out is perfect, and sometimes it feel like it would just be easier to give them the phone. But I'm happy that we've taken this stance. I can't tell you how many times a restaurant owner or a nearby table has said how well behaved our kids are.