3 ms·

Because I’m not attractive. None of the stuff you listed matters if you’re not attractive.

astrange 4y ago
Everything they listed is what being attractive is. Every part of being attractive is under your control. Often other people are not good at telling you what you need to do to get there though.
- symlinkk 4y ago
  I’m talking about physical attractiveness. It’s largely up to genetics. You can help a little by going to the gym or dressing nice but it’s not gonna turn a 3 into a 7.
  - s5300 4y ago
    You’re hopeless with this mindset. I wish you the best in one day finding peace & perhaps the realization, that in the grand scheme of things, your opinion on this matter is ‘wrong’ in our modern society. I don’t have the slightest clue what you look like, but if you have an able body, I promise you I’d trade however you look for the functionality of your body. Seriously, I miss being able to participate in real life so much. I’d gladly become whatever you think a “2” is for a working body.
    - readarcticgreen 4y ago
      Sometimes things don’t work out for you. I make a good tech income, literally own my home, I exercise and I’m probably fitter than most people, I have plenty of friends. At best I’ve been on 2-3 dates with the same woman. None have really shown interest in me. I’m not under any illusion, it’s me. I’m lucky I live in a country where sex work is legal. Otherwise I might still feel suicidal. I don’t think internet advice or trying to show people how they aren’t that bad of is helpful or even appropriate for HN. Just say “I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out for you”.
      - astrange 4y ago
        Hmm, are there countries with legal sex work and good tech incomes? “Good” meaning SV good. Anyway, does your target market want a guy with a house and job? That’s what first gen immigrants want. (Or what second-gen’s parents want, which matters too.) The local middle class want that to be assumed and you actually appear to spend all your time on volunteering and hobbies.
  - astrange 4y ago
    Physical attractiveness is the most under your control thing there is. Women don’t wake up looking like that and you don’t have to either. It’s not that important though. The real part is keeping the relationship going, not finding it. Also, have you seen Pete Davidson? He looks like a drowned rat.
    - throw6383878 4y ago
      How do you increase your height by 15 inches?
      - astrange 4y ago
        Just don’t date 5’4”-ish American white women and you’re good. The height complex is mostly a them thing. In particular, taller women don’t care.
        throw6383878 4y ago
        So it is not under my control?
      - Volrath89 4y ago
        Move to Guatemala where the average female height is 4'11. This is the average, so there are shorter women than that.
  - lordnacho 4y ago
    There's some genetic component, but you can control how clean you are, how fat you are, and what you are wearing. Do that and practice talking to women, and then you're attractive. Some of the guys I know who get the most women are not particularly handsome at all, they just do a lot of talking to women and thus are good at leading the conversion to where it needs to go. I'm sure you are aware of a subculture of men who go out in town to meet women. All they're doing is practicing a lot.
s5300 4y ago
I’m not attractive either, swear to god, & HN is the last place on the internet I’d be spending the very small & precious amount of energy I have in my days anymore to humblebrag, if I were going to. I’m also like, 5’6”, but with my posture, probably look 5’5”. I think if you were perhaps 5’2” as a male, I may slightly sympathize with you & the stigma surrounding male height, but I’ve still met more than a few dudes that short who do just fine. When you say you’re not attractive that really does nothing for anybody trying to give you advice. Do you have a hideously deformed face from a birth defect or accident? Okay, if so, that’s understandable. Are you morbidly obese? Okay, if so, that’s understandable - & highly likely to be a personal choice of yours that can be changed within a year. Otherwise, seriously, I just don’t get it. If you have a stereotypically ugly face, it really doesn’t matter if you otherwise have decent posture, the other stuff I listed, & some form of job. As cringey as it sounds, it’s otherwise just your mindset. & yeah, I’ve met plenty of people who don’t want to accept or acknowledge this is the reason, or even slightly want to change it. If you don’t want to help yourself, nobody in this world can help you. & fwiw & the last I’ll comment on it - the thing that gets the most people approaching me, the very last hobby of mine my body barely lets me do, is a style of skateboarding. So if you’re down so bad, maybe try that. Before that, it was practically… every hobby. This is why I truly genuinely state one interesting hobby. Doing hobby level work in a machine shop/maker space & after hours math meetups in college were probably the other two biggest attractors in my past life. Even hiking works, man. & you don’t even have to like it in the slightest… just pretend you do. @astrange - thanks for your comment, I saw as I was writing this out & it really hits home more than anything I can further ramble about. I do not know what goes through the minds of those who do not understand this very simple thing.
- symlinkk 4y ago
  I’m over 6 ft tall but I am lanky and my face is ugly.
  - Volrath89 4y ago
    Only very young women (teens and early twenties) care about the attractiveness of your face. After 23-25 I can confidently say it is the last thing they look at. Women of all ages look at height, though. So, if you are over 6', you can consider yourself extremely lucky, people are literally breaking their bone legs with a surgery to grow a few inches. About being lanky. I was also very skinny my whole life, I could eat anything including unhealthy fast food, sodas, etc and never gain weight. I thought that my "metabolism was too fast", that it was genetic, and that I could not change it. Until this year where I actually wanted a change and went from 130 to 160 lbs (58kg to 72kg). I'm 5'10 (177 cm). And for the first time of my life, I can wear something that actually fits and looks good on me.

Everything they listed is what being attractive is. Every part of being attractive is under your control. Often other people are not good at telling you what you need to do to get there though.

symlinkk 4y ago
I’m talking about physical attractiveness. It’s largely up to genetics. You can help a little by going to the gym or dressing nice but it’s not gonna turn a 3 into a 7.
- s5300 4y ago
  You’re hopeless with this mindset. I wish you the best in one day finding peace & perhaps the realization, that in the grand scheme of things, your opinion on this matter is ‘wrong’ in our modern society. I don’t have the slightest clue what you look like, but if you have an able body, I promise you I’d trade however you look for the functionality of your body. Seriously, I miss being able to participate in real life so much. I’d gladly become whatever you think a “2” is for a working body.
  - readarcticgreen 4y ago
    Sometimes things don’t work out for you. I make a good tech income, literally own my home, I exercise and I’m probably fitter than most people, I have plenty of friends. At best I’ve been on 2-3 dates with the same woman. None have really shown interest in me. I’m not under any illusion, it’s me. I’m lucky I live in a country where sex work is legal. Otherwise I might still feel suicidal. I don’t think internet advice or trying to show people how they aren’t that bad of is helpful or even appropriate for HN. Just say “I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out for you”.
    - astrange 4y ago
      Hmm, are there countries with legal sex work and good tech incomes? “Good” meaning SV good. Anyway, does your target market want a guy with a house and job? That’s what first gen immigrants want. (Or what second-gen’s parents want, which matters too.) The local middle class want that to be assumed and you actually appear to spend all your time on volunteering and hobbies.
- astrange 4y ago
  Physical attractiveness is the most under your control thing there is. Women don’t wake up looking like that and you don’t have to either. It’s not that important though. The real part is keeping the relationship going, not finding it. Also, have you seen Pete Davidson? He looks like a drowned rat.
  - throw6383878 4y ago
    How do you increase your height by 15 inches?
    - astrange 4y ago
      Just don’t date 5’4”-ish American white women and you’re good. The height complex is mostly a them thing. In particular, taller women don’t care.
      - throw6383878 4y ago
        So it is not under my control?
    - Volrath89 4y ago
      Move to Guatemala where the average female height is 4'11. This is the average, so there are shorter women than that.
- lordnacho 4y ago
  There's some genetic component, but you can control how clean you are, how fat you are, and what you are wearing. Do that and practice talking to women, and then you're attractive. Some of the guys I know who get the most women are not particularly handsome at all, they just do a lot of talking to women and thus are good at leading the conversion to where it needs to go. I'm sure you are aware of a subculture of men who go out in town to meet women. All they're doing is practicing a lot.

s5300 4y ago

I’m not attractive either, swear to god, & HN is the last place on the internet I’d be spending the very small & precious amount of energy I have in my days anymore to humblebrag, if I were going to. I’m also like, 5’6”, but with my posture, probably look 5’5”. I think if you were perhaps 5’2” as a male, I may slightly sympathize with you & the stigma surrounding male height, but I’ve still met more than a few dudes that short who do just fine. When you say you’re not attractive that really does nothing for anybody trying to give you advice. Do you have a hideously deformed face from a birth defect or accident? Okay, if so, that’s understandable. Are you morbidly obese? Okay, if so, that’s understandable - & highly likely to be a personal choice of yours that can be changed within a year. Otherwise, seriously, I just don’t get it. If you have a stereotypically ugly face, it really doesn’t matter if you otherwise have decent posture, the other stuff I listed, & some form of job. As cringey as it sounds, it’s otherwise just your mindset. & yeah, I’ve met plenty of people who don’t want to accept or acknowledge this is the reason, or even slightly want to change it. If you don’t want to help yourself, nobody in this world can help you. & fwiw & the last I’ll comment on it - the thing that gets the most people approaching me, the very last hobby of mine my body barely lets me do, is a style of skateboarding. So if you’re down so bad, maybe try that. Before that, it was practically… every hobby. This is why I truly genuinely state one interesting hobby. Doing hobby level work in a machine shop/maker space & after hours math meetups in college were probably the other two biggest attractors in my past life. Even hiking works, man. & you don’t even have to like it in the slightest… just pretend you do. @astrange - thanks for your comment, I saw as I was writing this out & it really hits home more than anything I can further ramble about. I do not know what goes through the minds of those who do not understand this very simple thing.

symlinkk 4y ago
I’m over 6 ft tall but I am lanky and my face is ugly.
- Volrath89 4y ago
  Only very young women (teens and early twenties) care about the attractiveness of your face. After 23-25 I can confidently say it is the last thing they look at. Women of all ages look at height, though. So, if you are over 6', you can consider yourself extremely lucky, people are literally breaking their bone legs with a surgery to grow a few inches. About being lanky. I was also very skinny my whole life, I could eat anything including unhealthy fast food, sodas, etc and never gain weight. I thought that my "metabolism was too fast", that it was genetic, and that I could not change it. Until this year where I actually wanted a change and went from 130 to 160 lbs (58kg to 72kg). I'm 5'10 (177 cm). And for the first time of my life, I can wear something that actually fits and looks good on me.