4 ms·
Why would said wealthy, hard-working, and fit husband not just hire a maid? Besides, it's often not just about the fact that someone has to do household labor.
by crote 4y ago
Why would said wealthy, hard-working, and fit husband not just hire a maid?
Besides, it's often not just about the fact that someone has to do household labor. A lot of women are realizing that said ideal husband somehow expects their partner to clean up after them, essentially taking over the role of his mother. This is despite both parties often having a full-time job.
A lot of men demonstrate a form learned helplessness, and pretend they are unable to do even the most minimal form of household labor - often including things as trivial as putting the dishes they used in the dishwasher, or putting dirty laundry in the hamper. This needlessly complicates what should've been a trivial chore, and breeds resentment.
A commonly-heard sentiment is that women feel like they have to care for their husband as if he is another child. Their husband expects them to act as his mother and a maid in one. I am not really surprised that this is a turn-off.
- logicalmonster 4y ago> Why would said wealthy, hard-working, and fit husband not just hire a maid? You might be overthinking a generalized extreme example designed to illustrate my point.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- whoIsYou 4y agowomen demonstrate learned helplessness far far more frequently. pretending they could not learn how to change a car's oil, fix a flat tire, or kill a bug, etc. but we have normalized it as a society. Same with men often having to treat their wives like children by handling all the finances, etc. But again, it's normalized and nobody says a thing
- krapp 4y agoI think your impression of what constitutes 'normal' in this regard is a few generations out of date.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- MandieD 4y agoAnd only for a very narrow bit at the top of the socioeconomic heap - once a week, my great-grandmother would wring and then chop the neck of the Sunday chicken, so I doubt she had a second thought about smacking any insects that threatened her pantry.
- SamoyedFurFluff 4y agoI don’t know a lady who couldn’t kill a bug but I know plenty of guys who can’t change a tire.
- whoIsYou 4y agocope
- anonporridge 4y ago> essentially taking over the role of his mother. I hear this complaint a lot, but the inverse is also true. Many women expect their male partner to take over the role of her father. Any relationship that has severely asymmetric exchange of value is ultimately doomed. But it seems reasonable to me that in a healthy relationship, each partner at least partially replaces the role of the other's parent, so long as the exchange is balanced. Relationships of all kinds are ultimately built on value exchange. Parasitic relationships are those in which the value exchange is severely unbalanced. And these kinds of parasitic relations inevitably end, either because the node getting sucked dry realizes it and cuts the bond, or because the parasite eventually sucks its host dry of all potential value and then cuts the bond to look for a new host.
- AlecSchueler 4y ago
- cat_plus_plus 4y agoEach partner sharing in household work is common sense, however details are up to them. Doing dishes in bulk every 2 days is an equally valid alternative to scrubbing one plate immediately after eating a snack. Also household chores including providing for the household, doing taxes, balancing checkbook, changing light bulbs, doing small repairs, changing oil in cars... Someone who doesn't equally share in every one of these chores may want to cut their partner some slack on others rather than leaning into 4th wave feminism.