4 ms·

In order for a gift to serve its social function, it must be specifically matched to its recipient. Cash is not specifically matched to its recipient. (The ex

by Jiro 4y ago

In order for a gift to serve its social function, it must be specifically matched to its recipient. Cash is not specifically matched to its recipient. (The exception is if there's some other social expectation that specifically says that the gift should be cash, like Jewish wedding gifts).

TeMPOraL 4y ago
> In order for a gift to serve its social function, it must be specifically matched to its recipient. That's tricky though. Often enough, people really don't know or think enough to match properly, which causes the gift to end up being offloaded somewhere else later, and/or breeds silent resentment. It's not just when people don't know what the recipient is interested in, but importantly, when they think they know, but don't understand that you shouldn't buy something related to someone's interest/hobby if you yourself aren't comparably proficient in it. > Cash is not specifically matched to its recipient. In some sense, it's maximally matched to every recipient, by virtue of being universal. Question is, is the gift supposed to be about recipient, or about the gift-giver? Super specific gifts are often about the latter.
machina_ex_deus 4y ago
Isn't wedding gift being cash the standard thing? Do you bring gift items to weddings? I always thought the standard of bringing cash to help them pay back for the cost of the event was standard everywhere. This is a Jewish thing? It kind of explains why weddings in Israel are so expensive, I heard it's almost cheaper to buy flight tickets to buy wedding dress in another country.
- wccrawford 4y ago
  It's not the standard here. In person and in media, there's a table full of wrapped gifts for the bride and groom. While I'm sure nobody would turn down cash, they wouldn't feel as appreciative of it as something that was bought with them in mind. Especially things that they'll still have 20 or 50 years later, and it brings back a memory of their wedding.
- matkoniecz 4y ago
  > This is a Jewish thing? Not only, it is normal also in Poland (though it is normal that people give both physical gift and cash).
- ghaff 4y ago
  It's very culturally specific. Definitely not WASPy normal in the US. Traditionally, people often registered somewhere like a department store or a kitchen goods store. Some of the function of gifts was historically to get a young couple moving out of their parents' houses a start. Of course, these days a lot of people are pretty well set-up before they get married.
bcrosby95 4y ago
My mom recently revealed to us that as we became adults, they specifically bought from places with a cash return policy, and bought us the most ugly, useless thing they could find there.

by Jiro 4y ago

TeMPOraL 4y ago

> In order for a gift to serve its social function, it must be specifically matched to its recipient. That's tricky though. Often enough, people really don't know or think enough to match properly, which causes the gift to end up being offloaded somewhere else later, and/or breeds silent resentment. It's not just when people don't know what the recipient is interested in, but importantly, when they think they know, but don't understand that you shouldn't buy something related to someone's interest/hobby if you yourself aren't comparably proficient in it. > Cash is not specifically matched to its recipient. In some sense, it's maximally matched to every recipient, by virtue of being universal. Question is, is the gift supposed to be about recipient, or about the gift-giver? Super specific gifts are often about the latter.

machina_ex_deus 4y ago

Isn't wedding gift being cash the standard thing? Do you bring gift items to weddings? I always thought the standard of bringing cash to help them pay back for the cost of the event was standard everywhere. This is a Jewish thing? It kind of explains why weddings in Israel are so expensive, I heard it's almost cheaper to buy flight tickets to buy wedding dress in another country.

wccrawford 4y ago
It's not the standard here. In person and in media, there's a table full of wrapped gifts for the bride and groom. While I'm sure nobody would turn down cash, they wouldn't feel as appreciative of it as something that was bought with them in mind. Especially things that they'll still have 20 or 50 years later, and it brings back a memory of their wedding.
matkoniecz 4y ago
> This is a Jewish thing? Not only, it is normal also in Poland (though it is normal that people give both physical gift and cash).
ghaff 4y ago
It's very culturally specific. Definitely not WASPy normal in the US. Traditionally, people often registered somewhere like a department store or a kitchen goods store. Some of the function of gifts was historically to get a young couple moving out of their parents' houses a start. Of course, these days a lot of people are pretty well set-up before they get married.

bcrosby95 4y ago

My mom recently revealed to us that as we became adults, they specifically bought from places with a cash return policy, and bought us the most ugly, useless thing they could find there.