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Adopting is hard. I've tried to convince my wife that we should adopt because I've always wanted to adopt anyway, but she's scared I'm not taking it seriously e

by PakG1 4y ago

Adopting is hard. I've tried to convince my wife that we should adopt because I've always wanted to adopt anyway, but she's scared I'm not taking it seriously enough. She says with adoption, you need to emotionally commit more than you would with your own blood because the natural instinct isn't there. She's scared I can't handle the responsibility and she might be scared of it too. She said we can have the talk again after I prove I can be a good dad with our own blood first. She doesn't want to be the mom that loves and handles everything while the dad doesn't care.

Aeolun 4y ago
I’m always surprised that they think they’re the only ones that care. Just because it doesn’t show in the same way doesn’t mean I don’t care. My wife’s care consists of endlessly fuzzing over every little detail of their appearance when going out. Mine consists of ensuring he’s happy and fed. Personally my issue with adoption is that I do not want to be in a position where I treat my own child and the adopted one differently. Don’t know if it’d happen, but I don’t want to try.
- IfOnlyYouKnew 4y ago
  "They"?
  - Aeolun 4y ago
    Potentially the reverse is true.
- PakG1 4y ago
  Given I'm still trying to remind myself to regularly vacuum, I don't blame her for her worries about my level of commitment to responsibility. I took months to file our taxes. I'd have a bad opinion of me too. I'm really lucky that she loves me for some reason!
calvinmorrison 4y ago
adopting also has about a million more hoops than just having kids, and this is relatively new. My mom's cousin has a 'brother' who they adopted cause his parents died a car in a neighboring house. Well, they were of the similar age and the kid came and lived on the farm with them. I don't know if theres any legal paperwork that was even done. Probably some stamps. now? good luck adopting without a mortgage downpayment, a clean history, good credit, references, yada yada

by PakG1 4y ago

Aeolun 4y ago

I’m always surprised that they think they’re the only ones that care. Just because it doesn’t show in the same way doesn’t mean I don’t care. My wife’s care consists of endlessly fuzzing over every little detail of their appearance when going out. Mine consists of ensuring he’s happy and fed. Personally my issue with adoption is that I do not want to be in a position where I treat my own child and the adopted one differently. Don’t know if it’d happen, but I don’t want to try.

IfOnlyYouKnew 4y ago
"They"?
- Aeolun 4y ago
  Potentially the reverse is true.
PakG1 4y ago
Given I'm still trying to remind myself to regularly vacuum, I don't blame her for her worries about my level of commitment to responsibility. I took months to file our taxes. I'd have a bad opinion of me too. I'm really lucky that she loves me for some reason!

calvinmorrison 4y ago

adopting also has about a million more hoops than just having kids, and this is relatively new. My mom's cousin has a 'brother' who they adopted cause his parents died a car in a neighboring house. Well, they were of the similar age and the kid came and lived on the farm with them. I don't know if theres any legal paperwork that was even done. Probably some stamps. now? good luck adopting without a mortgage downpayment, a clean history, good credit, references, yada yada