10 ms·

If you’re so smart, how come you’re not happy?

60 points by memorable 4y ago

thenerdhead 4y ago
Joy is the emotion expressed when one accepts the courage to be themselves.
- creativeideas 4y ago
  I agree that joy is obtained when one is true to who they are - but there is a much larger debate in the definition of one's "true self." Some would say that one's true self is defined by their creator. Others must determine some alternative way to define that self. I suggest that without being defined by a creator, then it is impossible to know one's purpose - or even to believe there can be a purpose. And if you do believe in purpose, then it is inevitable that you have to serve someone's purpose. Like Bob Dylan sang - "you gotta serve somebody."
  - thenerdhead 4y ago
    Life is full of paradoxes too. If you pursue happiness, you'll be less happy. If you pursue meaning, you'll not find it. Nothing is impossible. Many philosophers/psychologists found ways to find meaning & happiness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_hedonism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_hedonism
revskill 4y ago
Unhappiness mostly comes from boredom as i see. How smart people become boring ? Because they have no enough interesting resources/knowledge to discover ? How to pursuit knowledge ? To be happy or not to be happy? That's the choice.
- eternityforest 4y ago
  Smart people pursue knowledge but don't seem to pursue applications with nearly as much passion.
pkoird 4y ago
There's a famous poem written by a Nepali poet Laxmi Prasad Devkota: O Lord, Please maketh me Sheep. It's too heavy to translate entirely but a succinct summary is that to not have intelligence is the only path towards happiness.
- nyokodo 4y ago
  Sheep as prey animals are highly prone to anxiety. I wouldn’t want to be one.
  - pkoird 4y ago
    Too bad the poet wasn't well versed in Zoology it seems.
vehemenz 4y ago
If you're so smart, why are you invoking ill-defined concepts in folk psychology?
incomingpain 4y ago
The smarter you are, the more unhappy and lonely you will be. Been known for millenia; doesn't have to stay this way. edit/ sorry got shadow banned over this post. cant reply to anyone.
- derac 4y ago
  I disagree, they are just not necessarily associated. Less intelligent people have problems too. Children constantly throw tantrums, for instance. I do agree that overthinking and the high neuroticism that usually comes with intelligence will lead to an unhappy life usually. Contentment imo requires understanding your insignificance in the universe and having strong values to drive your behavior. Usually that means not being a workaholic, though I'm sure that isn't true of everyone.
  - nadavr 4y ago
    Interesting counterexample. I would argue that throwing tantrums when distressed — instead of bottling up anger, frustration, and disappointment — actually enables children to embrace happiness more easily than we do during the non-tantrum moments. We learn to suppress and not feel our difficult emotions, but unfortunately we can’t selectively numb just the hard feelings. I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers, just noting a mechanism I believe is present.
    - derac 4y ago
      I totally agree with that. People would be well-served to deal with their inner emotional world directly instead of pushing it away. At the same time, they do have a lot of inner tormoil even though they have next to no responsibilities or knowledge. They face the same thing everyone else does, the world changing in the face of their expectations or just not meeting them. There are better examples of the problems uneducated people face and a lot of data to back up their issues with money, relationships, and so on.
    - hinata08 4y ago
      >I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers why not ? you can do that with friends and family. Cry, be happy, get angry,... You're allowed to do everything at home. There are also online places where you can do that with strangers (like Discord) You should be able to do all of that, go directly to the bottom of the problems, get a confirmation that it's not normal, and show others that your world isn't perfect either. Internalizing and learning to cope, despite your expectations, is actually the worst. That's how you neglect yourself (get alienated, according to some ppl), and give a false image that your life is great. Have you seen Kleo, on Netflix ?
maxfurman 4y ago
Maybe this is too simplistic, but pretty much no one is happy. Everyone has problems, even if those problems seem minor from another's viewpoint. I'm not sure smart/stupid has much to do with it.
- brink 4y ago
  I was very unhappy in my 20's, but now I'm pretty happy in my 30's. I'd say it's usually an ego problem. And smarter people tend to have bigger egos. I think that's why smart people are generally regarded as unhappy. Of course there are other things that contribute to happiness, like circumstances. Another thing I've been thinking lately is that there seems to be a large group of people who don't seem to want to be happy, as if they don't even like happiness.
- karaterobot 4y ago
  I'm pretty happy. I do have problems, but they don't make me unhappy. I think I learned it from my parents, who have always been pretty happy, even though they certainly had problems of their own. I'm not sure what the secret to happiness is, but by process of elimination, I can rule out some sources: it's definitely not money, health, good looks, fame, influence, or success.
giantg2 4y ago
"So here are 3 things that you can do to get what you want out of your work life." They forgot the biggest one. Adjust your expectations.
- JacobThreeThree 4y ago
  >Adjust your expectations. This is so true, life is all about expectations. If you hope for the best, but plan for, and expect the worst, you'll be pleasantly surprised along the way.
sghiassy 4y ago
The bigger the circle of the known - the larger the contact area with the unknown. Ignorance is bliss ;)
fullshark 4y ago
Those things are annoying and upsetting to deal with but aren't the root cause of unhappiness. I believe it is the lack of a sense of purpose that is the main culprit, and I believe this drives much of the modern malaise as the traditional sources of purpose: religion, family, survival, etc disappear. A lot of people here seem to find purpose in building great technologies, and they generally seem happy despite working (sometimes) crazy hours.
z5h 4y ago
We haven't established that intelligence should imply happiness. We haven't even established that intelligence should imply the desire to be happy. If intelligence enables a person to identify problems, and problems make a person unhappy, then an intelligent person will have at least one factor that tends to increase unhappiness.
- lukas099 4y ago
  > We haven't even established that intelligence should imply the desire to be happy. Most people desire to be happy. I don't believe I need to prove this. The point was that we should be able to use our intelligence to identify and resolve issues that decrease our happiness. I think this is true to a certain extent, but there is an upper limit where solvable problems are not the limiting factor to our happiness.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - dimmke 4y ago
    >Most people desire to be happy. I don't believe I need to prove this. Happy isn't a long term state of being. It's a short term emotion like anger or sadness. If you expect to feel that way all the time, and think you can achieve that through some kind of changes to your life you are setting yourself up for failure. You should aim to build a life that is in line with your values, and accept that you're going to have down days. If you were to rate each day on a 1-10 scale, you're going to have 2s and 3s and probably some 8s and 9s. But if you've done the work, most days will be a solid 6 or 7. And therapy. Therapy really helps. I think everybody should go to therapy.
    - Towaway69 4y ago
      > And therapy. Therapy really helps. I think everybody should go to therapy Friends. I think everyone should have good friends they can talk to. If not, then go to therapy.
skilled 4y ago
Buddhism principles do not lock you in their system if all you want is to understand how happiness works and why you are not happy. But people just ignore it anyway. Which is precisely the problem. Why address things when you can either ignore them or you can fight against yourself, but in both scenarios you always go round and round in the same loop. In the current global consciousness, happiness is attributed to material possessions, which ironically is also what makes you unhappy.
- ravishi 4y ago
  Would you mind sharing a "starting point" for this? I would like to learn how happiness works and why I am not happy, I just have no idea how to navigate or approach this enourmous and sometimes conflicting concept that seems to be Buddhism.
  - skilled 4y ago
    Simple version? Try stillness. Practice sitting quiet for 30 minutes every single day at the same time for a month straight. Some call it meditation, but to get to meditation it takes a lot of practice, anything before that is sitting still and experiencing how your thoughts form themselves. The best part about this approach is that no scary monsters are going to come and get you. The only monster you'll encounter is that voice in your mind that never ceases to blabber on about things. And it's not easy. Nothing is when it comes to being quiet. If you struggle with behavior or have emotional tendencies - learning to be quiet is a humbling experience. What to expect? A lot more breathing room, not only in your mind but also in your life. Doing this process is the same as installing a window in a room that has been windowless for a hundred years. Fresh air, natural light, and a much broader view on life.
    - ravishi 4y ago
      Thank you! I have been trying that on and off for years. Now I have doubled down on it as I observe my toddler grow up and how being present in the moment helps him self-regulate. It's been like something finally clicked for me. I still struggle, tho, but at least have this daily reminder to renew my interest. Do you have any references like books, lectures, blogs or any information sources on these practices and the buddhist principles behind it?
recursivedoubts 4y ago
"When you get what you want, you’ll naturally be more happy." Oh, the babe! Oh, the pure, innocent child! https://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Fyodor_Dostoevsky/Notes_from_the_Underground/Part_I_Chapter_VII_p1.html https://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Fyodor_Dostoevsky/Notes_from...
Markoff 4y ago
I'm not happy because I'm smart. It takes ignorant to be happy.
- Towaway69 4y ago
  I think therefore I am unhappy.
savryn 4y ago
the more 'actionable' Naval-ism that helps me is "If you can't be happy with a coffee, you won't be happy with a yacht." somehow this makes me naturally gauge if I'm enjoying the present as a question "am I enjoying this coffee / new fountain pen / crunchy leaves?" and I actually feel the happiness bubble up in sensory focus. Doesn't last long yet works for me.
exabrial 4y ago
Ignorance is bliss. The older I get, the more I head-desk.
nyokodo 4y ago
I think a lot of us are unhappy a lot of the time because we’re all at least a little bit insane. Either we don’t see the cause of our unhappiness because we’re insane or we see it but don’t fix it because we’re insane. Perhaps “insane” is too strong but “lacking sufficient sanity” is too long.
welfare 4y ago
Was intrigued by the title, disagree completely with the content. You can have a rewarding job and still be unhappy, you can have no job at all and be the happiest person out there. Happiness is not one-dimensional... I still think it's a fascinating topic, anyone got any better recommendations for reading up on this?
- hinata08 4y ago
  Why would you even make the connection between work and happiness ? HR and corporations don't work to make you happy, some just play you to get better job and money themselves. I've just learnt to get happiness and fulfillment in clubs, friends and family, so that some abusive managers don't have the power to make me happy or not. And I've become more minimalist. I should be able to survive, if I change of job.
  - welfare 4y ago
    Completely agree and that’s why I was so disappointed with the post. Instead of something insightful it was just a random rant from someone feeling miserable about their job. It’s the biggest lie out there that self-fulfillment comes from working.
  - adamsmith143 4y ago
    Yes, it turns out work will NOT make you free...
    - brookst 4y ago
      "Free" is an absolute that can never be achieved. But work (or at least the money it produces) can deliver types of freedom not otherwise available. Like just deciding to spend a weekend in Paris, or buying a boat, or whatever. Not that everyone can/should want those kinds of freedoms, but money really is a proxy for freedom in this world.
      - Towaway69 4y ago
        Work -> money -> freedom -> happiness. Elon Musk is the happiest person alive. QED.
creativeideas 4y ago
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. Intelligence is worthless without a heart to use it lovingly, and even then, it has no direct correlation to wisdom. It is wise to use intelligence lovingly, but it is also wise to use money lovingly. Intelligence is simply a resource while wisdom is a quality. Furthermore, you must define "happiness." Happiness is simply a feeling, while joy is a quality, like wisdom. Intelligence and happiness are circumstantial and transient while wisdom and joy are qualities that can be nurtured and cultivated in one's character.
gryf 4y ago
A forgotten dimension of this problem is that you’re never happy if you care too much. Intelligent people care too much. If you don’t care enough you’re probably causing trouble for other people. I’d rather hurt myself than other people.
yboris 4y ago
If you're smart and unhappy, it seems like the best next step is to read some books on the topic of Positive Psychology written by researchers that study it. Two great starts: The How of Happiness and Stumbling on Happiness but there are many more. ps - 4DWW (Four Day Work Week) would be an amazing improvement to happiness to anyone who gets it. Let's all work on making it the norm!
- mantas 4y ago
  I'd rather say that if you're smart, so-called Positive Psychology seems like a fraud. Fulfilling and meaningful life > „positive“ life. Although it may bring less „happiness“ in short term. „Dopamine Nation“ is a good easy read.
  - yboris 4y ago
    Seems like you have a narrow view of what Positive Psychology is focusing on. While you're right that many authors focus on "happiness" as commonly understood, the concept of Eudaimonia (a life well lived) is also a focus for some researchers. A great read for you may be The Good Life: Unifying the Philosophy and Psychology of Well-Being by Michael Bishop. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YD26TIS/ https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YD26TIS/
    - mantas 4y ago
      IMO there's too much baggage behind this term. It may be better to recommend „Eudaimonia“ itself and skip „Positive Psychology“. Although I'm not sure about „Eudaimonia„“ part itself too. IMO many people in that field focuses on „positivity“ too much. While I prefer more balanced approach. IMO there's no happiness if you don't feel pain. Otherwise it's too easy to get sucked into looking for more and more bigger and bigger happiness triggers.
- Towaway69 4y ago
  I'm on a 7DWW and couldn't be happier. I work my own stuff, do whatever happens to be important for me in the now, and trust in myself that I will reach my goals. This redefines "work" as being something that isn't financially beneficial immediately rather mental and personally enlightening. But I have worked for the (wo)man and can appreciate the difference.
deleted 4y ago
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vishkk 4y ago
“I don’t much believe in the happiness of animals, except when I want to use this conceit as a frame for highlighting a particular feeling. To be happy, it’s necessary to know that one’s happy. The only happiness we get from sleeping without dreaming is when we wake up and realize that we’ve slept without dreaming. Happiness is outside of happiness. There’s no happiness without knowledge. But the knowledge of happiness brings unhappiness, because to know that you’re happy is to realize that you’re experiencing a happy moment and will soon have to leave it behind. To know is to kill, in happiness as in everything else. Not to know, on the other hand, is not to exist. Only the absolute of Hegel managed to be two things at once, but in writing. Being and non-being do not mix and meld in the sensations and laws of life; they exclude one another, by a kind of reverse synthesis. What to do? Isolate the moment like a thing, and be happy now, in the moment we’re feeling happiness, thinking of nothing but what we’re feeling and completely excluding everything else. Trap all thought in our sensation..” Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa
theoegodfrey 4y ago
You can't research or analyse happiness. By and large, it's internalized, through action, environment, upbringing,culture and genetics
nimbius 4y ago
Intelligent people see the truth of the world, the universe. If the truth, if it were good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cared about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart is merely a conviction of your enlightenment to the awful reality of things. Bravo, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is to languish in existential dread. Congratulations, you have learned the history of humanity and how our society functions, and your reward is sullen remorse in the unending cacophony of injustice.
- Towaway69 4y ago
  I was just going say/write the same, smart people see both sides of an argument, see the good but experience the societal bad and generally spend more time reflecting, aka worrying.
- malux85 4y ago
  Congratulations, you can observe and complain and be a bloodless intellect, someone with no skin in the game, Once you're past wallowing in self pity because of the burdens of the great intellect you have been given, then it's time for you to develop some wisdom. Wisdom is accepting the limits of your being and mortality AND THEN DOING YOUR BEST ANYWAY. Wisdom and intellect is acknowledging the fact that you cannot fix everything but using your gifts of intellect to generate multipliers (processes, automations, repeatable IP, free software, open papers, sharing knowledge). ** Use your intellect to magnify your intellect and maximise the amount of good you do. ** Intellect and courage is carrying forward the light, speaking up against injustice, patiently educating and inspiring the young and reducing tyranny. The weak intellects have undeserved lazy entitlement (they think simply because they are smart everything should be given to them, not true) or wallow in self pity because taking action brings about the possibility they might fail which would demonstrate their inadequacy and therefore hurt their self identity. These people have a disease and should be helped overcome their limits
  - adamsmith143 4y ago
    Yes you are locked inside a burning building with no way out and no one else will acknowledge the building is burning down. Best thing to do is write pamphlets about random errata and make as many quality widgets as your boss tells you to. This is the true path to enlightenment. Worthless toil as you slowly burn alive.
Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago
Happiness comes from sudden and unexpected improvements in quality of life. It's 2022 and at least for those who are living in the West there is no sudden anything anymore. Einstein theory is more than 100 years old and we still don't know what to do with it except for GPS which isn't really a big deal and could be re-created with mapping + sensors on the side of the road. We fuck around less and less, hence we discover less and less. And when we do it takes centuries to turn theoretical discoveries into practical quality of life improvements. We will never be as happy as the tribes who first discovered fire or the wheel. Not because there aren't discoveries just as consequential to be made but because of lack of urgency and too much smarts. Nature only reveals its secrets to humans when we decide to throw our bodies at it.
- Towaway69 4y ago
  As children we discover the wheel before we are told it's a wheel. Sometimes we discover fire before we are told it burns. Our personal world is full of rediscovery. Recently I discovered Carl Jung because he said: > Make the unconscious conscious, else you will be guided by it and call it fate. I came to the same conclusion but before I read that. I discovered something that Jung also did. It made me happy because I now know I am on the right path (for me). And I am not alone on that path.
temptemptemp111 4y ago
thw09j9m 4y ago
Disappointing content. Those drawn in by the title might be more interested in this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32409811 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32409811
gooseus 4y ago
I also think "getting what you want" is less important than "knowing what you want", the fables and folklore of every culture has cautionary tales that boils down to "be careful what you wish for". True happiness (imho, and I am no expert here) is about resonating with a moral philosophy you truly believe in, and then acting in a way that you believe truly aligns with it. I think the more people around you who validate your philosophy and actions the more happy you will be. The consequence here is that smart people are less likely to resonate with the existing philosophies around them and end up having to make sacrifices (either social or moral) leaving them less happy than they would have been otherwise.
- mach1ne 4y ago
  I agree with your main point but I don't think less smart people are any happier for believing in more mainstream philosophies. The reason smart people usually don't resonate with these philosophies is that they're brittle; look at them a little closer and you can see the cracks. People who choose these philosophies will come to know of the existence of the cracks, usually by others pointing them out. After that it's some form of willful ignorance which nags at the soul.
mortymcmort 4y ago
The brain was designed to keep us alive, not to keep us happy.
more_corn 4y ago
I’m not. And I am. Don’t identify as smart. Identify as someone who can figure things out.
travisgriggs 4y ago
For me, as I try to step out of myself and look candidly at my own life experience, it goes something like this: As a “smart” person in high school, that led to various “rewards” such as respect, adulation, advancement, affirmation, etc. These things feel good and so my naive self equates being smart with being happy. When less naive self perseveres, he realizes that the connection between smart and those feel good rewards is more arbitrary than I’d like, and I have experiences more like my current situation where I’m the “smart guy that holds this product together and understands this domain best” but that has led to others being suspicious and trying to take control and to being sidelined. So in the end, it just so turns out that smart can go with happy situations or unhappy situations. Our selection bias confirms the happy ones as causal and is offended/confused when it’s not.
char101 4y ago
Because life is not a technical problem but a socio-economic problem where we have little control and everything is uncertain.
ahmadmk 4y ago
This is surprisingly one dimensional… There are many studies that have shown higher levels of intelligence (ie, IQ or some other measurement if intellect) tends to be correlated with higher levels of self-reported “unhappiness,” due to a variety of covariates (eg, higher level of introspection, neuroticism, etc). Which is why looking at something like EQ is important. There aren’t really great measurements of these things but the mental model is what’s most useful imo—especially the notion that we need to develop intelligence of many types to lead a “happy” well-rounded life. If only it was as simple as a “culture” or IQ problem. As a sidebar: I rarely understand the purpose of these types of blog posts. Perhaps they’re a manifestation of the SV/VC/PG culture to push out content and “get your voice heard,” which has merit but the amount of work required to provided a well rounded, incisive and pithy blog (eg, old PG blogs) is rarely done.
- mercacona 4y ago
  Do you mind to add some references to your comment? Would like to read about the subject.
sidcool 4y ago
I have been struggling with trying to build leverage. I just can't decide what to build leverage in.
mensetmanusman 4y ago
Don’t aim for happiness but for meaning and the joy it brings.
VikingCoder 4y ago
1) Ignorance is bliss 2) You learn something new every day ∴ Every day you have less bliss
kamaal 4y ago
>>“If you’re so smart, how come you’re not happy? How come you’ve not figured that out?” There is a default assumption here that being smart should eventually end in some sort of success. Whereas being smart has only mild correlation with being successful. Lots of other things(health, luck etc) matter in success, and eventually people kind of look at optimising one single variable and hope it leads to significant gains in all aspects of life. Which is impossible. Even if we keep things like luck outside the discussion. Things like good health and fitness play a huge role in happiness, this follows from definition. Unhealthy people can't be happy and lack of fitness effects people's perception of their own-self. Most smart people tend to look at exercise oriented habits as something dumb people do. Other thing is taking risks. Taking risks, demands being either risk averse or at least being slightly dumb enough to take risks, which smart people wouldn't.
perfecthjrjth 4y ago
Just because you are smart, it doesn't mean that you can understand how your brain works, how your psychology works.
dennis_jeeves1 4y ago
Old saying: "ignorance is bliss", trite, yet very profound
zyvy 4y ago
I studied two courses on the Coursera, The Science of Well-Being and the Psychology of recognition and self-employment. And I can say that the real happines value is not in work-job achievements or money - but in recognition and social interaction with worthy people. There are excellent lectures by Russian professor Oleg Lukyanov where he criticizes the psychology of achievements that drive people into stress and offers in return the psychology of recognition. And of course happiness it generally depends on other things
lukev 4y ago
I believe this blog is written by GPT-3.
yetanother12345 4y ago
The headline of this post rings a bell in a weird way. I don't really know how to define "smart" or "happy" and I'm not really anxious to label myself with either of those terms either, but I have noticed that for whatever definition of the terms that I seem to observe at various points of my life I also recurrently observe people who I believe to have significantly less of the "s" term combined with significantly more of the "h" term - so much so that I have accepted it as a trend. The world according to me seems to work like that: more brains = more problems. Add money to the mix and it seems to blur the picture as independent of (definition of) "s" and "h" more money seems to also equal more problems.
RickJWagner 4y ago
I think in a lot of ways happiness is tied to simplicity. Intelligence doesn't seem correlated to simplicity, though.

60 points by memorable 4y ago

thenerdhead 4y ago

Joy is the emotion expressed when one accepts the courage to be themselves.

creativeideas 4y ago
I agree that joy is obtained when one is true to who they are - but there is a much larger debate in the definition of one's "true self." Some would say that one's true self is defined by their creator. Others must determine some alternative way to define that self. I suggest that without being defined by a creator, then it is impossible to know one's purpose - or even to believe there can be a purpose. And if you do believe in purpose, then it is inevitable that you have to serve someone's purpose. Like Bob Dylan sang - "you gotta serve somebody."
- thenerdhead 4y ago
  Life is full of paradoxes too. If you pursue happiness, you'll be less happy. If you pursue meaning, you'll not find it. Nothing is impossible. Many philosophers/psychologists found ways to find meaning & happiness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_hedonism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_hedonism

revskill 4y ago

Unhappiness mostly comes from boredom as i see. How smart people become boring ? Because they have no enough interesting resources/knowledge to discover ? How to pursuit knowledge ? To be happy or not to be happy? That's the choice.

eternityforest 4y ago
Smart people pursue knowledge but don't seem to pursue applications with nearly as much passion.

pkoird 4y ago

There's a famous poem written by a Nepali poet Laxmi Prasad Devkota: O Lord, Please maketh me Sheep. It's too heavy to translate entirely but a succinct summary is that to not have intelligence is the only path towards happiness.

nyokodo 4y ago
Sheep as prey animals are highly prone to anxiety. I wouldn’t want to be one.
- pkoird 4y ago
  Too bad the poet wasn't well versed in Zoology it seems.

vehemenz 4y ago

If you're so smart, why are you invoking ill-defined concepts in folk psychology?

incomingpain 4y ago

The smarter you are, the more unhappy and lonely you will be. Been known for millenia; doesn't have to stay this way. edit/ sorry got shadow banned over this post. cant reply to anyone.

derac 4y ago
I disagree, they are just not necessarily associated. Less intelligent people have problems too. Children constantly throw tantrums, for instance. I do agree that overthinking and the high neuroticism that usually comes with intelligence will lead to an unhappy life usually. Contentment imo requires understanding your insignificance in the universe and having strong values to drive your behavior. Usually that means not being a workaholic, though I'm sure that isn't true of everyone.
- nadavr 4y ago
  Interesting counterexample. I would argue that throwing tantrums when distressed — instead of bottling up anger, frustration, and disappointment — actually enables children to embrace happiness more easily than we do during the non-tantrum moments. We learn to suppress and not feel our difficult emotions, but unfortunately we can’t selectively numb just the hard feelings. I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers, just noting a mechanism I believe is present.
  - derac 4y ago
    I totally agree with that. People would be well-served to deal with their inner emotional world directly instead of pushing it away. At the same time, they do have a lot of inner tormoil even though they have next to no responsibilities or knowledge. They face the same thing everyone else does, the world changing in the face of their expectations or just not meeting them. There are better examples of the problems uneducated people face and a lot of data to back up their issues with money, relationships, and so on.
  - hinata08 4y ago
    >I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers why not ? you can do that with friends and family. Cry, be happy, get angry,... You're allowed to do everything at home. There are also online places where you can do that with strangers (like Discord) You should be able to do all of that, go directly to the bottom of the problems, get a confirmation that it's not normal, and show others that your world isn't perfect either. Internalizing and learning to cope, despite your expectations, is actually the worst. That's how you neglect yourself (get alienated, according to some ppl), and give a false image that your life is great. Have you seen Kleo, on Netflix ?

maxfurman 4y ago

Maybe this is too simplistic, but pretty much no one is happy. Everyone has problems, even if those problems seem minor from another's viewpoint. I'm not sure smart/stupid has much to do with it.

brink 4y ago
I was very unhappy in my 20's, but now I'm pretty happy in my 30's. I'd say it's usually an ego problem. And smarter people tend to have bigger egos. I think that's why smart people are generally regarded as unhappy. Of course there are other things that contribute to happiness, like circumstances. Another thing I've been thinking lately is that there seems to be a large group of people who don't seem to want to be happy, as if they don't even like happiness.
karaterobot 4y ago
I'm pretty happy. I do have problems, but they don't make me unhappy. I think I learned it from my parents, who have always been pretty happy, even though they certainly had problems of their own. I'm not sure what the secret to happiness is, but by process of elimination, I can rule out some sources: it's definitely not money, health, good looks, fame, influence, or success.

giantg2 4y ago

"So here are 3 things that you can do to get what you want out of your work life." They forgot the biggest one. Adjust your expectations.

JacobThreeThree 4y ago
>Adjust your expectations. This is so true, life is all about expectations. If you hope for the best, but plan for, and expect the worst, you'll be pleasantly surprised along the way.

sghiassy 4y ago

The bigger the circle of the known - the larger the contact area with the unknown. Ignorance is bliss ;)

fullshark 4y ago

Those things are annoying and upsetting to deal with but aren't the root cause of unhappiness. I believe it is the lack of a sense of purpose that is the main culprit, and I believe this drives much of the modern malaise as the traditional sources of purpose: religion, family, survival, etc disappear. A lot of people here seem to find purpose in building great technologies, and they generally seem happy despite working (sometimes) crazy hours.

z5h 4y ago

We haven't established that intelligence should imply happiness. We haven't even established that intelligence should imply the desire to be happy. If intelligence enables a person to identify problems, and problems make a person unhappy, then an intelligent person will have at least one factor that tends to increase unhappiness.

lukas099 4y ago
> We haven't even established that intelligence should imply the desire to be happy. Most people desire to be happy. I don't believe I need to prove this. The point was that we should be able to use our intelligence to identify and resolve issues that decrease our happiness. I think this is true to a certain extent, but there is an upper limit where solvable problems are not the limiting factor to our happiness.
- deleted 4y ago
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- dimmke 4y ago
  >Most people desire to be happy. I don't believe I need to prove this. Happy isn't a long term state of being. It's a short term emotion like anger or sadness. If you expect to feel that way all the time, and think you can achieve that through some kind of changes to your life you are setting yourself up for failure. You should aim to build a life that is in line with your values, and accept that you're going to have down days. If you were to rate each day on a 1-10 scale, you're going to have 2s and 3s and probably some 8s and 9s. But if you've done the work, most days will be a solid 6 or 7. And therapy. Therapy really helps. I think everybody should go to therapy.
  - Towaway69 4y ago
    > And therapy. Therapy really helps. I think everybody should go to therapy Friends. I think everyone should have good friends they can talk to. If not, then go to therapy.

skilled 4y ago

Buddhism principles do not lock you in their system if all you want is to understand how happiness works and why you are not happy. But people just ignore it anyway. Which is precisely the problem. Why address things when you can either ignore them or you can fight against yourself, but in both scenarios you always go round and round in the same loop. In the current global consciousness, happiness is attributed to material possessions, which ironically is also what makes you unhappy.

ravishi 4y ago
Would you mind sharing a "starting point" for this? I would like to learn how happiness works and why I am not happy, I just have no idea how to navigate or approach this enourmous and sometimes conflicting concept that seems to be Buddhism.
- skilled 4y ago
  Simple version? Try stillness. Practice sitting quiet for 30 minutes every single day at the same time for a month straight. Some call it meditation, but to get to meditation it takes a lot of practice, anything before that is sitting still and experiencing how your thoughts form themselves. The best part about this approach is that no scary monsters are going to come and get you. The only monster you'll encounter is that voice in your mind that never ceases to blabber on about things. And it's not easy. Nothing is when it comes to being quiet. If you struggle with behavior or have emotional tendencies - learning to be quiet is a humbling experience. What to expect? A lot more breathing room, not only in your mind but also in your life. Doing this process is the same as installing a window in a room that has been windowless for a hundred years. Fresh air, natural light, and a much broader view on life.
  - ravishi 4y ago
    Thank you! I have been trying that on and off for years. Now I have doubled down on it as I observe my toddler grow up and how being present in the moment helps him self-regulate. It's been like something finally clicked for me. I still struggle, tho, but at least have this daily reminder to renew my interest. Do you have any references like books, lectures, blogs or any information sources on these practices and the buddhist principles behind it?

recursivedoubts 4y ago

"When you get what you want, you’ll naturally be more happy." Oh, the babe! Oh, the pure, innocent child! https://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Fyodor_Dostoevsky/Notes_from_the_Underground/Part_I_Chapter_VII_p1.html https://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Fyodor_Dostoevsky/Notes_from...

Markoff 4y ago

I'm not happy because I'm smart. It takes ignorant to be happy.

Towaway69 4y ago
I think therefore I am unhappy.

savryn 4y ago

the more 'actionable' Naval-ism that helps me is "If you can't be happy with a coffee, you won't be happy with a yacht." somehow this makes me naturally gauge if I'm enjoying the present as a question "am I enjoying this coffee / new fountain pen / crunchy leaves?" and I actually feel the happiness bubble up in sensory focus. Doesn't last long yet works for me.

exabrial 4y ago

Ignorance is bliss. The older I get, the more I head-desk.

nyokodo 4y ago

I think a lot of us are unhappy a lot of the time because we’re all at least a little bit insane. Either we don’t see the cause of our unhappiness because we’re insane or we see it but don’t fix it because we’re insane. Perhaps “insane” is too strong but “lacking sufficient sanity” is too long.

welfare 4y ago

Was intrigued by the title, disagree completely with the content. You can have a rewarding job and still be unhappy, you can have no job at all and be the happiest person out there. Happiness is not one-dimensional... I still think it's a fascinating topic, anyone got any better recommendations for reading up on this?

hinata08 4y ago
Why would you even make the connection between work and happiness ? HR and corporations don't work to make you happy, some just play you to get better job and money themselves. I've just learnt to get happiness and fulfillment in clubs, friends and family, so that some abusive managers don't have the power to make me happy or not. And I've become more minimalist. I should be able to survive, if I change of job.
- welfare 4y ago
  Completely agree and that’s why I was so disappointed with the post. Instead of something insightful it was just a random rant from someone feeling miserable about their job. It’s the biggest lie out there that self-fulfillment comes from working.
- adamsmith143 4y ago
  Yes, it turns out work will NOT make you free...
  - brookst 4y ago
    "Free" is an absolute that can never be achieved. But work (or at least the money it produces) can deliver types of freedom not otherwise available. Like just deciding to spend a weekend in Paris, or buying a boat, or whatever. Not that everyone can/should want those kinds of freedoms, but money really is a proxy for freedom in this world.
    - Towaway69 4y ago
      Work -> money -> freedom -> happiness. Elon Musk is the happiest person alive. QED.

creativeideas 4y ago

Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. Intelligence is worthless without a heart to use it lovingly, and even then, it has no direct correlation to wisdom. It is wise to use intelligence lovingly, but it is also wise to use money lovingly. Intelligence is simply a resource while wisdom is a quality. Furthermore, you must define "happiness." Happiness is simply a feeling, while joy is a quality, like wisdom. Intelligence and happiness are circumstantial and transient while wisdom and joy are qualities that can be nurtured and cultivated in one's character.

gryf 4y ago

A forgotten dimension of this problem is that you’re never happy if you care too much. Intelligent people care too much. If you don’t care enough you’re probably causing trouble for other people. I’d rather hurt myself than other people.

yboris 4y ago

If you're smart and unhappy, it seems like the best next step is to read some books on the topic of Positive Psychology written by researchers that study it. Two great starts: The How of Happiness and Stumbling on Happiness but there are many more. ps - 4DWW (Four Day Work Week) would be an amazing improvement to happiness to anyone who gets it. Let's all work on making it the norm!

mantas 4y ago
I'd rather say that if you're smart, so-called Positive Psychology seems like a fraud. Fulfilling and meaningful life > „positive“ life. Although it may bring less „happiness“ in short term. „Dopamine Nation“ is a good easy read.
- yboris 4y ago
  Seems like you have a narrow view of what Positive Psychology is focusing on. While you're right that many authors focus on "happiness" as commonly understood, the concept of Eudaimonia (a life well lived) is also a focus for some researchers. A great read for you may be The Good Life: Unifying the Philosophy and Psychology of Well-Being by Michael Bishop. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YD26TIS/ https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YD26TIS/
  - mantas 4y ago
    IMO there's too much baggage behind this term. It may be better to recommend „Eudaimonia“ itself and skip „Positive Psychology“. Although I'm not sure about „Eudaimonia„“ part itself too. IMO many people in that field focuses on „positivity“ too much. While I prefer more balanced approach. IMO there's no happiness if you don't feel pain. Otherwise it's too easy to get sucked into looking for more and more bigger and bigger happiness triggers.
Towaway69 4y ago
I'm on a 7DWW and couldn't be happier. I work my own stuff, do whatever happens to be important for me in the now, and trust in myself that I will reach my goals. This redefines "work" as being something that isn't financially beneficial immediately rather mental and personally enlightening. But I have worked for the (wo)man and can appreciate the difference.

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vishkk 4y ago

“I don’t much believe in the happiness of animals, except when I want to use this conceit as a frame for highlighting a particular feeling. To be happy, it’s necessary to know that one’s happy. The only happiness we get from sleeping without dreaming is when we wake up and realize that we’ve slept without dreaming. Happiness is outside of happiness. There’s no happiness without knowledge. But the knowledge of happiness brings unhappiness, because to know that you’re happy is to realize that you’re experiencing a happy moment and will soon have to leave it behind. To know is to kill, in happiness as in everything else. Not to know, on the other hand, is not to exist. Only the absolute of Hegel managed to be two things at once, but in writing. Being and non-being do not mix and meld in the sensations and laws of life; they exclude one another, by a kind of reverse synthesis. What to do? Isolate the moment like a thing, and be happy now, in the moment we’re feeling happiness, thinking of nothing but what we’re feeling and completely excluding everything else. Trap all thought in our sensation..” Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

theoegodfrey 4y ago

You can't research or analyse happiness. By and large, it's internalized, through action, environment, upbringing,culture and genetics

nimbius 4y ago

Intelligent people see the truth of the world, the universe. If the truth, if it were good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cared about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart is merely a conviction of your enlightenment to the awful reality of things. Bravo, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is to languish in existential dread. Congratulations, you have learned the history of humanity and how our society functions, and your reward is sullen remorse in the unending cacophony of injustice.

Towaway69 4y ago
I was just going say/write the same, smart people see both sides of an argument, see the good but experience the societal bad and generally spend more time reflecting, aka worrying.
malux85 4y ago
Congratulations, you can observe and complain and be a bloodless intellect, someone with no skin in the game, Once you're past wallowing in self pity because of the burdens of the great intellect you have been given, then it's time for you to develop some wisdom. Wisdom is accepting the limits of your being and mortality AND THEN DOING YOUR BEST ANYWAY. Wisdom and intellect is acknowledging the fact that you cannot fix everything but using your gifts of intellect to generate multipliers (processes, automations, repeatable IP, free software, open papers, sharing knowledge). ** Use your intellect to magnify your intellect and maximise the amount of good you do. ** Intellect and courage is carrying forward the light, speaking up against injustice, patiently educating and inspiring the young and reducing tyranny. The weak intellects have undeserved lazy entitlement (they think simply because they are smart everything should be given to them, not true) or wallow in self pity because taking action brings about the possibility they might fail which would demonstrate their inadequacy and therefore hurt their self identity. These people have a disease and should be helped overcome their limits
- adamsmith143 4y ago
  Yes you are locked inside a burning building with no way out and no one else will acknowledge the building is burning down. Best thing to do is write pamphlets about random errata and make as many quality widgets as your boss tells you to. This is the true path to enlightenment. Worthless toil as you slowly burn alive.

Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago

Happiness comes from sudden and unexpected improvements in quality of life. It's 2022 and at least for those who are living in the West there is no sudden anything anymore. Einstein theory is more than 100 years old and we still don't know what to do with it except for GPS which isn't really a big deal and could be re-created with mapping + sensors on the side of the road. We fuck around less and less, hence we discover less and less. And when we do it takes centuries to turn theoretical discoveries into practical quality of life improvements. We will never be as happy as the tribes who first discovered fire or the wheel. Not because there aren't discoveries just as consequential to be made but because of lack of urgency and too much smarts. Nature only reveals its secrets to humans when we decide to throw our bodies at it.

Towaway69 4y ago
As children we discover the wheel before we are told it's a wheel. Sometimes we discover fire before we are told it burns. Our personal world is full of rediscovery. Recently I discovered Carl Jung because he said: > Make the unconscious conscious, else you will be guided by it and call it fate. I came to the same conclusion but before I read that. I discovered something that Jung also did. It made me happy because I now know I am on the right path (for me). And I am not alone on that path.

temptemptemp111 4y ago

thw09j9m 4y ago

Disappointing content. Those drawn in by the title might be more interested in this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32409811 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32409811

gooseus 4y ago

I also think "getting what you want" is less important than "knowing what you want", the fables and folklore of every culture has cautionary tales that boils down to "be careful what you wish for". True happiness (imho, and I am no expert here) is about resonating with a moral philosophy you truly believe in, and then acting in a way that you believe truly aligns with it. I think the more people around you who validate your philosophy and actions the more happy you will be. The consequence here is that smart people are less likely to resonate with the existing philosophies around them and end up having to make sacrifices (either social or moral) leaving them less happy than they would have been otherwise.

mach1ne 4y ago
I agree with your main point but I don't think less smart people are any happier for believing in more mainstream philosophies. The reason smart people usually don't resonate with these philosophies is that they're brittle; look at them a little closer and you can see the cracks. People who choose these philosophies will come to know of the existence of the cracks, usually by others pointing them out. After that it's some form of willful ignorance which nags at the soul.

mortymcmort 4y ago

The brain was designed to keep us alive, not to keep us happy.

more_corn 4y ago

I’m not. And I am. Don’t identify as smart. Identify as someone who can figure things out.

travisgriggs 4y ago

For me, as I try to step out of myself and look candidly at my own life experience, it goes something like this: As a “smart” person in high school, that led to various “rewards” such as respect, adulation, advancement, affirmation, etc. These things feel good and so my naive self equates being smart with being happy. When less naive self perseveres, he realizes that the connection between smart and those feel good rewards is more arbitrary than I’d like, and I have experiences more like my current situation where I’m the “smart guy that holds this product together and understands this domain best” but that has led to others being suspicious and trying to take control and to being sidelined. So in the end, it just so turns out that smart can go with happy situations or unhappy situations. Our selection bias confirms the happy ones as causal and is offended/confused when it’s not.

char101 4y ago

Because life is not a technical problem but a socio-economic problem where we have little control and everything is uncertain.

ahmadmk 4y ago

This is surprisingly one dimensional… There are many studies that have shown higher levels of intelligence (ie, IQ or some other measurement if intellect) tends to be correlated with higher levels of self-reported “unhappiness,” due to a variety of covariates (eg, higher level of introspection, neuroticism, etc). Which is why looking at something like EQ is important. There aren’t really great measurements of these things but the mental model is what’s most useful imo—especially the notion that we need to develop intelligence of many types to lead a “happy” well-rounded life. If only it was as simple as a “culture” or IQ problem. As a sidebar: I rarely understand the purpose of these types of blog posts. Perhaps they’re a manifestation of the SV/VC/PG culture to push out content and “get your voice heard,” which has merit but the amount of work required to provided a well rounded, incisive and pithy blog (eg, old PG blogs) is rarely done.

mercacona 4y ago
Do you mind to add some references to your comment? Would like to read about the subject.

sidcool 4y ago

I have been struggling with trying to build leverage. I just can't decide what to build leverage in.

mensetmanusman 4y ago

Don’t aim for happiness but for meaning and the joy it brings.

VikingCoder 4y ago

1) Ignorance is bliss 2) You learn something new every day ∴ Every day you have less bliss

kamaal 4y ago

>>“If you’re so smart, how come you’re not happy? How come you’ve not figured that out?” There is a default assumption here that being smart should eventually end in some sort of success. Whereas being smart has only mild correlation with being successful. Lots of other things(health, luck etc) matter in success, and eventually people kind of look at optimising one single variable and hope it leads to significant gains in all aspects of life. Which is impossible. Even if we keep things like luck outside the discussion. Things like good health and fitness play a huge role in happiness, this follows from definition. Unhealthy people can't be happy and lack of fitness effects people's perception of their own-self. Most smart people tend to look at exercise oriented habits as something dumb people do. Other thing is taking risks. Taking risks, demands being either risk averse or at least being slightly dumb enough to take risks, which smart people wouldn't.

perfecthjrjth 4y ago

Just because you are smart, it doesn't mean that you can understand how your brain works, how your psychology works.

dennis_jeeves1 4y ago

Old saying: "ignorance is bliss", trite, yet very profound

zyvy 4y ago

I studied two courses on the Coursera, The Science of Well-Being and the Psychology of recognition and self-employment. And I can say that the real happines value is not in work-job achievements or money - but in recognition and social interaction with worthy people. There are excellent lectures by Russian professor Oleg Lukyanov where he criticizes the psychology of achievements that drive people into stress and offers in return the psychology of recognition. And of course happiness it generally depends on other things

lukev 4y ago

I believe this blog is written by GPT-3.

yetanother12345 4y ago

The headline of this post rings a bell in a weird way. I don't really know how to define "smart" or "happy" and I'm not really anxious to label myself with either of those terms either, but I have noticed that for whatever definition of the terms that I seem to observe at various points of my life I also recurrently observe people who I believe to have significantly less of the "s" term combined with significantly more of the "h" term - so much so that I have accepted it as a trend. The world according to me seems to work like that: more brains = more problems. Add money to the mix and it seems to blur the picture as independent of (definition of) "s" and "h" more money seems to also equal more problems.

RickJWagner 4y ago

I think in a lot of ways happiness is tied to simplicity. Intelligence doesn't seem correlated to simplicity, though.