4 ms·

As kid I spent time in an old fashioned Russian serf type village, where a bunch of families lived together and worked a bunch of strips of land. It was the be

As kid I spent time in an old fashioned Russian serf type village, where a bunch of families lived together and worked a bunch of strips of land. It was the best time I ever had. Everyone had a job to do, and they were happy to let you help. The tasks you were given seemed fulfilling and meaningful. Today is horrible. Nobody lives with family or knows neighbors around here. No more church. There are some craft clubs, but what's the point? Anything you can make pales in comparison to what you can get for a couple of bucks from Amazon. Growing a garden also seems pointless when you see the local grocery store. There are a bunch of hobbies but they also seem pointless when you look at a few Youtube videos and see all the popular channels doing exactly what you would like to but a million times better. Honestly if I didn't have a kid I'd probably hang up my hat, but I do need to figure out how to make sure the kid doesn't have this experience. (p.s. moving back to the Russian serf village is not the solution, that place is now ruined, young people moved to the city, old people died off or drank themselves to death. One guy hung himself.)

UnpossibleJim 4y ago
If you can find a community garden, they're way better than the grocery. No offense or anything. Plus you get to meet your local community. I miss mine, now that I'm in the suburbs. You might look into it. It fosters a lot more than just healthy food. It builds neighborhoods, reclaims land and makes friends in the community. They're great.
- bergenty 4y ago
  All of these suggestions are optional. The biggest part of community is it is a forced coexistence. Anything optional takes willpower and most people just will not do consistently.
  - watwut 4y ago
    Optional community is strictly superior to forced one. Cause you can get away if it becomes abusive.
    - bergenty 4y ago
      For a small proportion of abused people. It usually works very well for 95%+ of the people in it. It’s definitely not worth throwing it in the trash for those kinds of numbers.
toxicFork 4y ago
Why do you want to compare everything you do to what others are doing? Allow yourself to do things that others do better. You do not have to be the best. You will enjoy life much more. Your kids will, too.
- prawn 4y ago
  Further, your kids seeing you do these things will think you are the best at it or will be enthralled trying to emulate superior efforts with you. I can't paint. My painting efforts are embarrassing. My daughter, keen on painting, saw my horrific effort today and thought it was amazing. If we watched an artist on YouTube and then tried to paint together, she would absolutely enjoy that too. If you don't have an internal appreciation of simple crafts (gardening, making something) then your children can help you find purpose in it.
nradov 4y ago
Your memories of that Russian serf village are distorted and incomplete. Most subsistence farming work is far from being happy and fulfilling. Talk to adults who spent decades living that way. They might not have been lonely, but their lives were bleak in most other ways. Why do you think so many left as soon as they could? Why did those who remained turn into alcoholics? Today is great.
Nomentatus 4y ago
Marx was wrong about some big things (innovation, depressions) and right about some big things - alienation, meaning destruction of community.
NegativeK 4y ago
> There are some craft clubs, but what's the point? Anything you can make pales in comparison to what you can get for a couple of bucks from Amazon. This is unhealthy. > There are a bunch of hobbies but they also seem pointless when you look at a few Youtube videos and see all the popular channels doing exactly what you would like to but a million times better. This is unhealthy. Over a decade ago, I had to accept that I'll never be the best at anything or even better than huge swaths of people in my line of work or in my hobby, and that's perfectly okay. There's only one best in the world. Most people who play basketball will never ever come close to the NBA. Setting out with failure in mind (even when you're not in pursuit of perfection) is great. Pointless, dumb play is amazing. When I was a kid, I didn't compare my Lego play time with others. Or the time I spent riding my bike down a hill and jumping off it onto the grass to professional stunt performers. The end product isn't what you walk away with; it's the time you spend enjoying doing something. (On the flip side, pick the project. You don't need to compost to plant a garden, and you don't need to learn how to shave sheep or spin yarn to learn knitting.)
- MuffinFlavored 4y ago
  > This is unhealthy. And? How does one magically snap their fingers and change their hard-to-control brain? OP has a point in everything they're saying. Calling it unhealthy doesn't magically fix (inverse) their (very real/probably populous) perspective.
  - karpierz 4y ago
    > How does one magically snap their fingers and change their hard-to-control brain? There is no magic solution. But recognizing that there is a problem, it can be solved, and deciding to put effort into solving it are what it takes to fix it. This is step one.
  - tbran 4y ago
    Turn off YouTube and go do something. Very simple, very effective.
  - NegativeK 4y ago
adwn 4y ago
> moving back to the Russian serf village is not the solution, that place is now ruined, young people moved to the city, old people died off or drank themselves to death. One guy hung himself. Is it possible that you have a distorted perception or memory of life in that village? If it was such a happy place, why did so many young people move away, why did old people drink so much, and why did one person commit suicide?
- nadieyninguno1 4y ago
  The same reason small towns all over the world are - times have changed, and drastically. Folks have to leave in search of work, the old ways aren’t possible thanks to our smaller, more efficient world. The brain-drain kills off the village and what’s left is a rotting corpse of what once was. Or at least the corpses from those deaths of despair.
everybodyknows 4y ago
> Growing a garden also seems pointless when you see the local grocery store. Maybe a greenhouse would be needed, but you can grow backyard produce of much higher quality than is typical in grocery stores. Then offer it your neighbors. Some will show gratitude. Those are the ones to try to make friends of.

UnpossibleJim 4y ago

If you can find a community garden, they're way better than the grocery. No offense or anything. Plus you get to meet your local community. I miss mine, now that I'm in the suburbs. You might look into it. It fosters a lot more than just healthy food. It builds neighborhoods, reclaims land and makes friends in the community. They're great.

bergenty 4y ago
All of these suggestions are optional. The biggest part of community is it is a forced coexistence. Anything optional takes willpower and most people just will not do consistently.
- watwut 4y ago
  Optional community is strictly superior to forced one. Cause you can get away if it becomes abusive.
  - bergenty 4y ago
    For a small proportion of abused people. It usually works very well for 95%+ of the people in it. It’s definitely not worth throwing it in the trash for those kinds of numbers.

toxicFork 4y ago

Why do you want to compare everything you do to what others are doing? Allow yourself to do things that others do better. You do not have to be the best. You will enjoy life much more. Your kids will, too.

prawn 4y ago
Further, your kids seeing you do these things will think you are the best at it or will be enthralled trying to emulate superior efforts with you. I can't paint. My painting efforts are embarrassing. My daughter, keen on painting, saw my horrific effort today and thought it was amazing. If we watched an artist on YouTube and then tried to paint together, she would absolutely enjoy that too. If you don't have an internal appreciation of simple crafts (gardening, making something) then your children can help you find purpose in it.

nradov 4y ago

Your memories of that Russian serf village are distorted and incomplete. Most subsistence farming work is far from being happy and fulfilling. Talk to adults who spent decades living that way. They might not have been lonely, but their lives were bleak in most other ways. Why do you think so many left as soon as they could? Why did those who remained turn into alcoholics? Today is great.

Nomentatus 4y ago

Marx was wrong about some big things (innovation, depressions) and right about some big things - alienation, meaning destruction of community.

NegativeK 4y ago

> There are some craft clubs, but what's the point? Anything you can make pales in comparison to what you can get for a couple of bucks from Amazon. This is unhealthy. > There are a bunch of hobbies but they also seem pointless when you look at a few Youtube videos and see all the popular channels doing exactly what you would like to but a million times better. This is unhealthy. Over a decade ago, I had to accept that I'll never be the best at anything or even better than huge swaths of people in my line of work or in my hobby, and that's perfectly okay. There's only one best in the world. Most people who play basketball will never ever come close to the NBA. Setting out with failure in mind (even when you're not in pursuit of perfection) is great. Pointless, dumb play is amazing. When I was a kid, I didn't compare my Lego play time with others. Or the time I spent riding my bike down a hill and jumping off it onto the grass to professional stunt performers. The end product isn't what you walk away with; it's the time you spend enjoying doing something. (On the flip side, pick the project. You don't need to compost to plant a garden, and you don't need to learn how to shave sheep or spin yarn to learn knitting.)

MuffinFlavored 4y ago
> This is unhealthy. And? How does one magically snap their fingers and change their hard-to-control brain? OP has a point in everything they're saying. Calling it unhealthy doesn't magically fix (inverse) their (very real/probably populous) perspective.
- karpierz 4y ago
  > How does one magically snap their fingers and change their hard-to-control brain? There is no magic solution. But recognizing that there is a problem, it can be solved, and deciding to put effort into solving it are what it takes to fix it. This is step one.
- tbran 4y ago
  Turn off YouTube and go do something. Very simple, very effective.
- NegativeK 4y ago

adwn 4y ago

> moving back to the Russian serf village is not the solution, that place is now ruined, young people moved to the city, old people died off or drank themselves to death. One guy hung himself. Is it possible that you have a distorted perception or memory of life in that village? If it was such a happy place, why did so many young people move away, why did old people drink so much, and why did one person commit suicide?

nadieyninguno1 4y ago
The same reason small towns all over the world are - times have changed, and drastically. Folks have to leave in search of work, the old ways aren’t possible thanks to our smaller, more efficient world. The brain-drain kills off the village and what’s left is a rotting corpse of what once was. Or at least the corpses from those deaths of despair.

everybodyknows 4y ago

> Growing a garden also seems pointless when you see the local grocery store. Maybe a greenhouse would be needed, but you can grow backyard produce of much higher quality than is typical in grocery stores. Then offer it your neighbors. Some will show gratitude. Those are the ones to try to make friends of.