7 ms·

My MiL spends 10+ hours a day watching conspiracy theory videos on the internet (used to be YouTube, but now a lot of the channels are suspended so she uses alt

My MiL spends 10+ hours a day watching conspiracy theory videos on the internet (used to be YouTube, but now a lot of the channels are suspended so she uses alternative sites). It doesn't make her happy, it isn't good for her physical health, and it causes extreme social isolation. Anger and conspiracy completely dominate her personality. We can't go more than 10-20 minutes without some sort of serious accusation, which are often passive-aggressive and accusatory toward people in the room. She has directly accused me of multiple serious felonies and conspiracies, by virtue of the fact that I work in tech. She is no longer allowed to visit one of her daughters because my BiL (wife's sister's husband?) is not on speaking terms with her. She chooses not to visit another daughter. She floats around church social groups, who all sort of give her a few months and then punt her to the next group. To be clear: these aren't down to major political disagreements. Most of her family and friend group are all on the same page. Even her Q Anon neighbor won't speak with her anymore. It's bad. She has no friends and is slowly losing her family. When she visits us for holidays we have to warn friends not to engage with the fights she tries to pick. We train them on how to treat her as they would a child without being patronizing. It's hard. She is not happy, and I wish we could get her to spend less time watching videos on the internet.

Gordonjcp 4y ago
> She floats around church social groups, who all sort of give her a few months and then punt her to the next group. My teenager and her friends know someone like this who they described as "speedrunning friendships", and honestly that's the best description you're going to hear.
- thwayunion 4y ago
  It's even worse. She cycles through, as in multiple times with each group. The church knows her issues, so they cycle her through 3-4 small groups for a few months at a time so that she's included and taken care of but not overly burdensome on any particular group of people.
  - Gordonjcp 4y ago
    The patience of saints. Good to know that someone's keeping an eye on her, I guess.
    - datavirtue 4y ago
      They are also very patient with sexual and financial predators in their midst. If I was going to make my living scamming, my home base would be a large fundamentalist christian church. Over 40, bald and fat? Want teenage girls fighting each other for the chance to be your bride? I can point you in a few directions. They will even house, feed, and clothe you until you can get on your feet and ravage their flock.
      - thwayunion 4y ago
        Yeah, we had to intervene with respect to a particularly scummy financial planner from the church in particular. Completely idiotic fixed income products that made no sense relative to the alternatives. He was a non-fiduciary and taking commission plus absurd fees, of course. The church is a net positive and mostly saints, as GP characterizes. But anywhere you find a high trust environment with low barrier to entry there will be some wolves in the flock.
vkou 4y ago
I have a close friend who is in that exact same situation with his mother. She lost her job, her husband lost his job, she's representing herself in a vaccine lawsuit (Spoilers: it's not going well), and she is completely incapable of being a human being around her children, all of it because she's fully committed to the Qult. This isn't advanced age mental decline, this is just the consequence of a garbage-in-garbage-out information diet, and every nutty group building their own Facebook echo chamber.
- rapind 4y ago
  > This isn't advanced age mental decline, this is just the consequence of a garbage-in-garbage-out information diet. I’m not goong to excuse crappy behaviour, but given that they both lost their job I think we can assume the economy is also a contributing factor (not claiming it’s the sole factor though).
  - vkou 4y ago
    They lost their jobs in 2021, because they, among other things, thought that someone who has taken the COVID vaccine 'emits particles that damage the female body'. (They would not allow their son into their house for months after he was vaccinated.) The economy was not the problem last year, unassailable certainty in ignorant beliefs was. They have new jobs now, which are harder, and much worse paying.
    - rapind 4y ago
      Just wanted to acknowledge your response. Don’t really have anything to add though. Probably a whole bunch of contributing factors /shrug.
  - SargeDebian 4y ago
    You mean the economy that is facing a worker shortage has caused them to lose their job?
    - rapind 4y ago
neura 4y ago
I have a relative like this, but she watches absolutely nothing. She believes some of her family members are out to get her though. She's in an assisted living facility and her phone has been taken away because she has called the police too many times, claiming that one of her family members is breaking in her window, to poison her. I'm not claiming that's the same thing, but I'm not sure less time watching videos will correct the issue or won't just lead to some other issue.
- thwayunion 4y ago
  No, it's a good thought. Thanks for sharing. We've talked with her physician about the possibility of this being some early signs of dementia. We don't have actual family medical history, but what we know from word of mouth lines up with dementia-like symptoms. So it may run in the family. But she is still functional and able to do the business of life. For now.
ajsnigrutin 4y ago
I find it sad, that you can find such stuff on discovery network channels... so channels that were for legit education and documentaries not that long ago, and now show some reality crap (pawn stars,...) and fake conspiracy crap (ancient aliens, mermaids, bigfoot, etc.).
- ClumsyPilot 4y ago
  > bigfoot That particular one offends me the most - we went from 0.3 megapixels to 300 and it's still fucking blurry
  - datavirtue 4y ago
    Leave sasquatch out of this.
  - chillfox 4y ago
    It’s always in sufficient light for a modern camera to have 1000+ shutter speed as well.
  - orangepurple 4y ago
    A typical old school film camera is about 87 megapixels equivalent https://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/film-resolution.htm https://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/film-resolution.htm
    - _aavaa_ 4y ago
      *film stock in optimal conditions.
      - dehrmann 4y ago
        I took a photography class in middle school. We used 35 mm black and white film. I scanned all the negatives in with a decent Nikon film scanner. I can't remember why I settled on scanning at 2MP, but you could already see the grain: https://i.imgur.com/dcFksGp.jpeg https://i.imgur.com/dcFksGp.jpeg
kristianc 4y ago
There is something to this — the general theme of daytime TV in Britain, when it’s not doing endless property shows, or shows where people buy property in other countries, is “the man is out to get you” — a litany of shows on small time criminals, consumer scams, or local crime waves. Perhaps not surprisingly, Britain’s elderly population tends to be very right wing.
- _jal 4y ago
  In the 80s, US AM radio was taken over by similar content. It is happening again with local news, both broadcast and "print". Seems to be the fate of declining media modalities.
- ClumsyPilot 4y ago
  > a litany of shows on ... consumer scams That sounds like it could be good to be aware of, came across so many acams myself, most prosperous industry after brexit
- WalterBright 4y ago
  [flagged]
  - imtyler 4y ago
    Unless you provide reasoning this comes across as needlessly snide.
    - lupire 4y ago
      The parent poster, a 99.99%ile brilliant engineer (seriously) and entrepreneur has a long history of posting libertarians talking points on any vaguely related topic.
      - imtyler 4y ago
        I'm not sure what you're trying to assert? I'm not aware of a ile scale of brilliance. I also don't know why a history or libertarianism is relevant? I just think that the comment wasn't constructive.
jeffbee 4y ago
onecommentman 4y ago
My impression is that there have been “cranky paranoid old pensioners” around since the dawn of time. I wouldn’t ascribe your MiL’s attitude or behaviors primarily to on-line videos or TV. They’ve been ranting in fraternal lodges, political party offices, coffeehouses, etc. for many hundreds of years prior. Twas ever thus. Keeps the circulation flowing for old folks. If you can find someone her age who shares her “disruptive” world-views and likes arguing, facilitating a folie-à-deux might make things better for all concerned. Older folks tend to become more blunt and uncensored as time progresses and they also accept blunt and uncensored feedback…but generally only from those in their own age group. Of course, then there are two of them :-). If it gets really bad, then a (surreptitious?) evaluation for some degenerative brain disorder probably needs to happen. Count your blessings, it isn’t that bad yet and as a SiL you are blissfully distant from the need to initiate anything.
- ClumsyPilot 4y ago
  > I wouldn’t ascribe your MiL’s attitude or behaviors primarily to on-line videos or TV The social network rahe machine feeds your inherent fears like a drug dealer feeds off those in desperate or dead end life situation. They are somewhere between exploiting for profit an existing condition, or creating / worsening it.
satvikpendem 4y ago
There are stories of adult children deprogramming their parents / in-laws by blocking these sites via their routers [0], and within a few weeks they're able to see their parents' views and demeanor visibly change for the positive [1]. The post from BestOfRedditorUpdates [1] for example shows the progression, basically the same as the 5 stages of grief, or withdrawal from a drug habit. First they get angry, then they try to find ways around it, then they accept that they can't and start doing something else. The truth is most people don't really go to these sites out of choice, they do it out of habit. If you can alter the habit, you can stop them from consuming such content. It's no different than stopping any other habit, like (if you're a smoker or alcoholic) not going to places where people smoke for example. You can also replace the habit with something else; like smokers chewing nicotine gum instead of smoking, or like those trying to lose weight going for a walk instead of sitting at home and cracking open a cold one after a long day of work, this person's aunt replaced it with BTS [2]. [0] https://old.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/vb3ddu/rhermancainaward_daily_vent_thread_june_13_2022/ic7khh6/?context=99 https://old.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/vb3ddu/rhe... [1] https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz7ya7/victim_of_qanon_asks_how_to_block_alt_right_news/ https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz7y... [2] https://old.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/sis22t/my_qaunt_was_saved_by_bts_i_shit_you_not/ https://old.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/sis22t/my_...
- judge2020 4y ago
  - feet 4y ago
    You want to make the situation worse? Might as well broadcast Tucker Carlson into her headphones while she sleeps
    - refurb 4y ago
      You'd have to block mainstream media too if you want to avoid disinformation.
WalterBright 4y ago
Alas, these can be symptoms of a neurological disorder. I suggest consulting with a neurologist.
- thwayunion 4y ago
  Thanks. We know and are very concerned about dementia in particular. Unfortunately, she's not interested. Fortunately, she is still fully capable of carrying out the normal business of life, at least for now. Not much we can do until things progress further, but we're making financial and logistical plans for if/when that day comes. In the mean time, subtracting even a few hours of the angry conspiracy TV would help a lot. We do see her come out of the stupor a little bit when we take her "off grid" for a long weekend. But, yes, we fear worse things are to come.
foxylad 4y ago
After a close family member went down the conspiracy slide, I've realised believing conspiracy theories is an excellent indicator of mental health issues. Your MiL is a case in point, and sounds like she needs serious help. Fifty years ago the men in white coats would intervene, but now mental health is basically ignored by society. If you care enough about her, you/your wife need to do act.
- alvarezbjm-hn 4y ago
  >> Fifty years ago the men in white coats would intervene I dare say they cared about people's mental health even less. Asylums were built to incarcerate relatives you found troublesome. Some healthy people made it there, too. Not to mention the "treatment" they received there was brutal.
mensetmanusman 4y ago
My mom was like that and it turned out she had undiagnosed schizophrenia. It’s way more common than you can imagine.
bamboozled 4y ago
I have a similar experience, parents and in-laws are totally consumed by right wing media and conspiracy theory’s to the point that we have to be careful about who we bring near them due to racism comments etc. Its also super exhausting to be around them as we’re always on edge. There’s not doubt its Facebook and modern “television”. Ten years ago they were different people.

Gordonjcp 4y ago

> She floats around church social groups, who all sort of give her a few months and then punt her to the next group. My teenager and her friends know someone like this who they described as "speedrunning friendships", and honestly that's the best description you're going to hear.

thwayunion 4y ago
It's even worse. She cycles through, as in multiple times with each group. The church knows her issues, so they cycle her through 3-4 small groups for a few months at a time so that she's included and taken care of but not overly burdensome on any particular group of people.
- Gordonjcp 4y ago
  The patience of saints. Good to know that someone's keeping an eye on her, I guess.
  - datavirtue 4y ago
    They are also very patient with sexual and financial predators in their midst. If I was going to make my living scamming, my home base would be a large fundamentalist christian church. Over 40, bald and fat? Want teenage girls fighting each other for the chance to be your bride? I can point you in a few directions. They will even house, feed, and clothe you until you can get on your feet and ravage their flock.
    - thwayunion 4y ago
      Yeah, we had to intervene with respect to a particularly scummy financial planner from the church in particular. Completely idiotic fixed income products that made no sense relative to the alternatives. He was a non-fiduciary and taking commission plus absurd fees, of course. The church is a net positive and mostly saints, as GP characterizes. But anywhere you find a high trust environment with low barrier to entry there will be some wolves in the flock.

vkou 4y ago

I have a close friend who is in that exact same situation with his mother. She lost her job, her husband lost his job, she's representing herself in a vaccine lawsuit (Spoilers: it's not going well), and she is completely incapable of being a human being around her children, all of it because she's fully committed to the Qult. This isn't advanced age mental decline, this is just the consequence of a garbage-in-garbage-out information diet, and every nutty group building their own Facebook echo chamber.

rapind 4y ago
> This isn't advanced age mental decline, this is just the consequence of a garbage-in-garbage-out information diet. I’m not goong to excuse crappy behaviour, but given that they both lost their job I think we can assume the economy is also a contributing factor (not claiming it’s the sole factor though).
- vkou 4y ago
  They lost their jobs in 2021, because they, among other things, thought that someone who has taken the COVID vaccine 'emits particles that damage the female body'. (They would not allow their son into their house for months after he was vaccinated.) The economy was not the problem last year, unassailable certainty in ignorant beliefs was. They have new jobs now, which are harder, and much worse paying.
  - rapind 4y ago
    Just wanted to acknowledge your response. Don’t really have anything to add though. Probably a whole bunch of contributing factors /shrug.
- SargeDebian 4y ago
  You mean the economy that is facing a worker shortage has caused them to lose their job?
  - rapind 4y ago

neura 4y ago

I have a relative like this, but she watches absolutely nothing. She believes some of her family members are out to get her though. She's in an assisted living facility and her phone has been taken away because she has called the police too many times, claiming that one of her family members is breaking in her window, to poison her. I'm not claiming that's the same thing, but I'm not sure less time watching videos will correct the issue or won't just lead to some other issue.

thwayunion 4y ago
No, it's a good thought. Thanks for sharing. We've talked with her physician about the possibility of this being some early signs of dementia. We don't have actual family medical history, but what we know from word of mouth lines up with dementia-like symptoms. So it may run in the family. But she is still functional and able to do the business of life. For now.

ajsnigrutin 4y ago

I find it sad, that you can find such stuff on discovery network channels... so channels that were for legit education and documentaries not that long ago, and now show some reality crap (pawn stars,...) and fake conspiracy crap (ancient aliens, mermaids, bigfoot, etc.).

ClumsyPilot 4y ago
> bigfoot That particular one offends me the most - we went from 0.3 megapixels to 300 and it's still fucking blurry
- datavirtue 4y ago
  Leave sasquatch out of this.
- chillfox 4y ago
  It’s always in sufficient light for a modern camera to have 1000+ shutter speed as well.
- orangepurple 4y ago
  A typical old school film camera is about 87 megapixels equivalent https://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/film-resolution.htm https://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/film-resolution.htm
  - _aavaa_ 4y ago
    *film stock in optimal conditions.
    - dehrmann 4y ago
      I took a photography class in middle school. We used 35 mm black and white film. I scanned all the negatives in with a decent Nikon film scanner. I can't remember why I settled on scanning at 2MP, but you could already see the grain: https://i.imgur.com/dcFksGp.jpeg https://i.imgur.com/dcFksGp.jpeg

kristianc 4y ago

There is something to this — the general theme of daytime TV in Britain, when it’s not doing endless property shows, or shows where people buy property in other countries, is “the man is out to get you” — a litany of shows on small time criminals, consumer scams, or local crime waves. Perhaps not surprisingly, Britain’s elderly population tends to be very right wing.

_jal 4y ago
In the 80s, US AM radio was taken over by similar content. It is happening again with local news, both broadcast and "print". Seems to be the fate of declining media modalities.
ClumsyPilot 4y ago
> a litany of shows on ... consumer scams That sounds like it could be good to be aware of, came across so many acams myself, most prosperous industry after brexit
WalterBright 4y ago
[flagged]
- imtyler 4y ago
  Unless you provide reasoning this comes across as needlessly snide.
  - lupire 4y ago
    The parent poster, a 99.99%ile brilliant engineer (seriously) and entrepreneur has a long history of posting libertarians talking points on any vaguely related topic.
    - imtyler 4y ago
      I'm not sure what you're trying to assert? I'm not aware of a ile scale of brilliance. I also don't know why a history or libertarianism is relevant? I just think that the comment wasn't constructive.

jeffbee 4y ago

onecommentman 4y ago

My impression is that there have been “cranky paranoid old pensioners” around since the dawn of time. I wouldn’t ascribe your MiL’s attitude or behaviors primarily to on-line videos or TV. They’ve been ranting in fraternal lodges, political party offices, coffeehouses, etc. for many hundreds of years prior. Twas ever thus. Keeps the circulation flowing for old folks. If you can find someone her age who shares her “disruptive” world-views and likes arguing, facilitating a folie-à-deux might make things better for all concerned. Older folks tend to become more blunt and uncensored as time progresses and they also accept blunt and uncensored feedback…but generally only from those in their own age group. Of course, then there are two of them :-). If it gets really bad, then a (surreptitious?) evaluation for some degenerative brain disorder probably needs to happen. Count your blessings, it isn’t that bad yet and as a SiL you are blissfully distant from the need to initiate anything.

ClumsyPilot 4y ago
> I wouldn’t ascribe your MiL’s attitude or behaviors primarily to on-line videos or TV The social network rahe machine feeds your inherent fears like a drug dealer feeds off those in desperate or dead end life situation. They are somewhere between exploiting for profit an existing condition, or creating / worsening it.

satvikpendem 4y ago

There are stories of adult children deprogramming their parents / in-laws by blocking these sites via their routers [0], and within a few weeks they're able to see their parents' views and demeanor visibly change for the positive [1]. The post from BestOfRedditorUpdates [1] for example shows the progression, basically the same as the 5 stages of grief, or withdrawal from a drug habit. First they get angry, then they try to find ways around it, then they accept that they can't and start doing something else. The truth is most people don't really go to these sites out of choice, they do it out of habit. If you can alter the habit, you can stop them from consuming such content. It's no different than stopping any other habit, like (if you're a smoker or alcoholic) not going to places where people smoke for example. You can also replace the habit with something else; like smokers chewing nicotine gum instead of smoking, or like those trying to lose weight going for a walk instead of sitting at home and cracking open a cold one after a long day of work, this person's aunt replaced it with BTS [2]. [0] https://old.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/vb3ddu/rhermancainaward_daily_vent_thread_june_13_2022/ic7khh6/?context=99 https://old.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/vb3ddu/rhe... [1] https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz7ya7/victim_of_qanon_asks_how_to_block_alt_right_news/ https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz7y... [2] https://old.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/sis22t/my_qaunt_was_saved_by_bts_i_shit_you_not/ https://old.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/sis22t/my_...

judge2020 4y ago
- feet 4y ago
  You want to make the situation worse? Might as well broadcast Tucker Carlson into her headphones while she sleeps
  - refurb 4y ago
    You'd have to block mainstream media too if you want to avoid disinformation.

WalterBright 4y ago

Alas, these can be symptoms of a neurological disorder. I suggest consulting with a neurologist.

thwayunion 4y ago
Thanks. We know and are very concerned about dementia in particular. Unfortunately, she's not interested. Fortunately, she is still fully capable of carrying out the normal business of life, at least for now. Not much we can do until things progress further, but we're making financial and logistical plans for if/when that day comes. In the mean time, subtracting even a few hours of the angry conspiracy TV would help a lot. We do see her come out of the stupor a little bit when we take her "off grid" for a long weekend. But, yes, we fear worse things are to come.

foxylad 4y ago

After a close family member went down the conspiracy slide, I've realised believing conspiracy theories is an excellent indicator of mental health issues. Your MiL is a case in point, and sounds like she needs serious help. Fifty years ago the men in white coats would intervene, but now mental health is basically ignored by society. If you care enough about her, you/your wife need to do act.

alvarezbjm-hn 4y ago
>> Fifty years ago the men in white coats would intervene I dare say they cared about people's mental health even less. Asylums were built to incarcerate relatives you found troublesome. Some healthy people made it there, too. Not to mention the "treatment" they received there was brutal.

mensetmanusman 4y ago

My mom was like that and it turned out she had undiagnosed schizophrenia. It’s way more common than you can imagine.

bamboozled 4y ago

I have a similar experience, parents and in-laws are totally consumed by right wing media and conspiracy theory’s to the point that we have to be careful about who we bring near them due to racism comments etc. Its also super exhausting to be around them as we’re always on edge. There’s not doubt its Facebook and modern “television”. Ten years ago they were different people.