9 ms·

Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. On the whole though, the entire concept of “best” is a mess in a

by ip26 4y ago

Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. On the whole though, the entire concept of “best” is a mess in a world of eight billion. At this point it’s more up to the whims of the contest, and doesn’t seem very correlated with life outcomes. Better by far to be one of the best, working shoulder to shoulder with the others, and forget entirely about who holds the podium.

afarrell 4y ago
Or “do not compare yourself with others, for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”
- laidoffamazon 4y ago
  Doesn’t help when people like me are just terrible at everything, have accomplished nothing and considered subhuman by the rest of society! This is a “thanks I’m cured” statement, no different from saying depressed people should smile more.
  - cwmoore 4y ago
    Legitimately though, the act of smiling whenever you can pull it off, will elevate mood. At times it isn’t possible. Similar with choosing instead of discovering what you can excel at and flow with.
  - afarrell 4y ago
    The statement is in fact useless. Changing your mental actions is what is useful. When you notice you brain doing it, then imagine you are a kind kindergarten teacher guiding a child to take crayons out of his mouth. Kindly tell your brain to think of something else. Then patiently tell your brain again. Put down the internet drama machine and go do small good things in the real world. ————— > considered subhuman by the rest of society! Unless you are literally an AI, then as a member of society I can tell you that this is factually inaccurate. I think you are a human. I also know that there is a tiny fraction of society that consider me subhuman. HP Lovecraft would be horrified by my very existence. The fraction of society that calls people subhuman is really bad at maintaining healthy relationships and so they don’t tend to hold onto power so I don’t care about them. > just terrible at everything and have accomplished nothing Do you have solid evidence that this is factually accurate, or does it only feel true? If it feels true, then get up and go for a walk or roll outside, occasionally doing pushups or waving your arms about. That will help you see reality more clearly. Also, teach yourself how to make scrambled eggs well. That way when you remember the parts of your life that do suck, you’ll at least be able to remind yourself of your ability to make scrambled eggs for someone.
omginternets 4y ago
>Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. What happens if you don't? What do you tell someone who managed to find something at which they are respectably competent, but not the best? Is that not sufficient?
- A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago
  I think the real and maybe not directly stated point is that every person on a planet with billions of people is virtually guaranteed not to be the best at something. It is statistically unlikely especially given how we do everything we can to label people into groups and funnel them accordingly to be used ( and be useful to ) by society. That does not mean that a given person should not try to get better, because this is the only way you will start getting to a level of competency and maybe, with some additional luck and push, to a top performer level. Not everyone can be number one, but extraordinary ( the attached article ) definition allows for that. And being second best at 'whatever' sure beats just complaining about everything you did not get a chance to accomplish. << Is that not sufficient? I honestly don't know. It is a very personal question each of us should answer internally. I, personally, want to do better and you do want to keep giving yourself progressively harder goals. I am currently working on a plan for 23-25 and I am getting kinda excited, because I believe it will move me to a better place in terms of my career ( and by extension better family life ) and interests, but I know it will require some buckling down and really polishing some skills. Maybe it is spending too much time on HN watching other people's 'Show HN' threads that got me to question myself "Why can't I do this?/"What is missing?" I already know I can't be best. As mentioned in the very fist paragraph I do not believe it is even possible, but I still think there is a lot of untapped potential. Wasting it would be a shame.
snapcaster 4y ago
But this isn't true. Who is it benefitting to lie to people like this?
- williamcotton 4y ago
  I mean, I’m definitely not the best songwriter out there but I’m definitely the best at writing songs about my own life!
  - snapcaster 4y ago
    Oh so we're just teaching people effective coping mechanisms? I guess that's fine I misunderstood the comment I was responding to i think edit: also probably untrue, I bet there are lots of songwriters who could make songs about your life that the vast majority of people would agree are better than yours
    - afarrell 4y ago
      Effective coping mechanisms that are reasonably grounded in objective reality. Whose decision is it that the other songwriters are better at expressing this one dude’s experiences? Thats not an objective question. It is a choice.
      - Dylan16807 4y ago
        No, it's not a choice. It's mostly subjective and up to them to judge, but it's a judgement based on the merits. Writing is hard, and there are very good reasons people work with experts to make things about themselves. Related, have you ever seen this clip? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4Y6zimxi-Q https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4Y6zimxi-Q
        afarrell 4y ago
        Hmmm… okay you are making the distinction between judgement and discretion and saying I’m wrong to categorize this as discretion. Upon reflection, I think you are right. > writing is hard Oh definitely. I’ve certainly had the experience of Lin-Manuel Miranda expressing something more clearly than I can.
Permit 4y ago
> Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. This implies there are at least 8 billion “things to be good at” which I don’t think is necessarily true. I suspect most people are not the best at anything.
- moffkalast 4y ago
  True. There are far, far more things to be good at. I can make up a completely new board game right now and I'll be the world champion at it immediately. At a slightly less extreme level, it's always possible to find something niche enough that is just so obscure that you can become the best by persistence alone. Maybe you're the world expert on blue umbrellas manufactured in 1993.
  - The_Colonel 4y ago
    People don't want to be best at something for the sake of it, but because it brings some perks with it - recognition, fame, money. Being the best in a game which literally nobody else knows is largely meaningless. I mean, try it, it doesn't take much time to make up a trivial game. Does it bring any kind of satisfaction to know you're the best in the world (because nobody else knows it)? (to be fair, there is also inner satisfaction coming from deep understanding and mastering of some activity, but alone it's rarely enough without any external validation to motivate people)
  - peoplefromibiza 4y ago
    > I can make up a completely new board game right now and I'll be the world champion at it immediately. That sounds intuitively true, but it's not. I thought the same thing, until I met an actual board game genius who beat me at every single game we played that I invented and practiced before playing against him. That's why he makes a pretty good living creating and selling board games and I don't. People with talents do exist, unless board games is your thing, it won't work.
    - slavik81 4y ago
      This sounds suspiciously like the story of Duke Devlin.
AnimalMuppet 4y ago
Not best, no. I can be top 10% at a few things, though. Not many, but more than one. Top 10% doesn't necessarily make me "extraordinary", depending on how you define it. It's enough for it to be part of my something, though.
1auralynn 4y ago
There was a part in Isaac Asimov's autobiography that stuck with me, where in high school he wasn't the best student in any subject. However, he was the SECOND best at EVERY subject, whereas the "best" students were only the best at one subject. So I think for some people, there is value in not being the "best" at anything but being good a lots of things regardless of overall ranking.
- etrautmann 4y ago
  This is what I’ve been implicitly optimizing for my whole life. Breadth over depth, but applied to a field. Pretty good at a lot of things to enable synthesis and creativity across domains. I’m very comfortable not maxing out a narrow set of sun skills, since 95% if the effort goes into the last little bit if performance, and the opportunity cost is then many other skills (or experiences or whatever)
- myself248 4y ago
  A jack of all trades, master of none, is oftentimes better than a master of one.
- Dylan16807 4y ago
  Trying to be second best in a large group will also destroy you. But okay, let's say 95th percentile to make it more achievable. Well, a normal person can reach 95th percentile in several things, but that's out of a list of hundreds of things or more. Being 95th percentile in most things is not going to happen, let alone all things.
etblg 4y ago
As people growing up in Canada were reminded of repeatedly, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6qUFm1HsI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6qUFm1HsI

by ip26 4y ago

afarrell 4y ago

Or “do not compare yourself with others, for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

laidoffamazon 4y ago
Doesn’t help when people like me are just terrible at everything, have accomplished nothing and considered subhuman by the rest of society! This is a “thanks I’m cured” statement, no different from saying depressed people should smile more.
- cwmoore 4y ago
  Legitimately though, the act of smiling whenever you can pull it off, will elevate mood. At times it isn’t possible. Similar with choosing instead of discovering what you can excel at and flow with.
- afarrell 4y ago
  The statement is in fact useless. Changing your mental actions is what is useful. When you notice you brain doing it, then imagine you are a kind kindergarten teacher guiding a child to take crayons out of his mouth. Kindly tell your brain to think of something else. Then patiently tell your brain again. Put down the internet drama machine and go do small good things in the real world. ————— > considered subhuman by the rest of society! Unless you are literally an AI, then as a member of society I can tell you that this is factually inaccurate. I think you are a human. I also know that there is a tiny fraction of society that consider me subhuman. HP Lovecraft would be horrified by my very existence. The fraction of society that calls people subhuman is really bad at maintaining healthy relationships and so they don’t tend to hold onto power so I don’t care about them. > just terrible at everything and have accomplished nothing Do you have solid evidence that this is factually accurate, or does it only feel true? If it feels true, then get up and go for a walk or roll outside, occasionally doing pushups or waving your arms about. That will help you see reality more clearly. Also, teach yourself how to make scrambled eggs well. That way when you remember the parts of your life that do suck, you’ll at least be able to remind yourself of your ability to make scrambled eggs for someone.

omginternets 4y ago

>Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. What happens if you don't? What do you tell someone who managed to find something at which they are respectably competent, but not the best? Is that not sufficient?

A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago
I think the real and maybe not directly stated point is that every person on a planet with billions of people is virtually guaranteed not to be the best at something. It is statistically unlikely especially given how we do everything we can to label people into groups and funnel them accordingly to be used ( and be useful to ) by society. That does not mean that a given person should not try to get better, because this is the only way you will start getting to a level of competency and maybe, with some additional luck and push, to a top performer level. Not everyone can be number one, but extraordinary ( the attached article ) definition allows for that. And being second best at 'whatever' sure beats just complaining about everything you did not get a chance to accomplish. << Is that not sufficient? I honestly don't know. It is a very personal question each of us should answer internally. I, personally, want to do better and you do want to keep giving yourself progressively harder goals. I am currently working on a plan for 23-25 and I am getting kinda excited, because I believe it will move me to a better place in terms of my career ( and by extension better family life ) and interests, but I know it will require some buckling down and really polishing some skills. Maybe it is spending too much time on HN watching other people's 'Show HN' threads that got me to question myself "Why can't I do this?/"What is missing?" I already know I can't be best. As mentioned in the very fist paragraph I do not believe it is even possible, but I still think there is a lot of untapped potential. Wasting it would be a shame.

snapcaster 4y ago

But this isn't true. Who is it benefitting to lie to people like this?

williamcotton 4y ago
I mean, I’m definitely not the best songwriter out there but I’m definitely the best at writing songs about my own life!
- snapcaster 4y ago
  Oh so we're just teaching people effective coping mechanisms? I guess that's fine I misunderstood the comment I was responding to i think edit: also probably untrue, I bet there are lots of songwriters who could make songs about your life that the vast majority of people would agree are better than yours
  - afarrell 4y ago
    Effective coping mechanisms that are reasonably grounded in objective reality. Whose decision is it that the other songwriters are better at expressing this one dude’s experiences? Thats not an objective question. It is a choice.
    - Dylan16807 4y ago
      No, it's not a choice. It's mostly subjective and up to them to judge, but it's a judgement based on the merits. Writing is hard, and there are very good reasons people work with experts to make things about themselves. Related, have you ever seen this clip? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4Y6zimxi-Q https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4Y6zimxi-Q
      - afarrell 4y ago
        Hmmm… okay you are making the distinction between judgement and discretion and saying I’m wrong to categorize this as discretion. Upon reflection, I think you are right. > writing is hard Oh definitely. I’ve certainly had the experience of Lin-Manuel Miranda expressing something more clearly than I can.

Permit 4y ago

> Perhaps it should be; everyone can be the best at something. You have to find your something. This implies there are at least 8 billion “things to be good at” which I don’t think is necessarily true. I suspect most people are not the best at anything.

moffkalast 4y ago
True. There are far, far more things to be good at. I can make up a completely new board game right now and I'll be the world champion at it immediately. At a slightly less extreme level, it's always possible to find something niche enough that is just so obscure that you can become the best by persistence alone. Maybe you're the world expert on blue umbrellas manufactured in 1993.
- The_Colonel 4y ago
  People don't want to be best at something for the sake of it, but because it brings some perks with it - recognition, fame, money. Being the best in a game which literally nobody else knows is largely meaningless. I mean, try it, it doesn't take much time to make up a trivial game. Does it bring any kind of satisfaction to know you're the best in the world (because nobody else knows it)? (to be fair, there is also inner satisfaction coming from deep understanding and mastering of some activity, but alone it's rarely enough without any external validation to motivate people)
- peoplefromibiza 4y ago
  > I can make up a completely new board game right now and I'll be the world champion at it immediately. That sounds intuitively true, but it's not. I thought the same thing, until I met an actual board game genius who beat me at every single game we played that I invented and practiced before playing against him. That's why he makes a pretty good living creating and selling board games and I don't. People with talents do exist, unless board games is your thing, it won't work.
  - slavik81 4y ago
    This sounds suspiciously like the story of Duke Devlin.

AnimalMuppet 4y ago

Not best, no. I can be top 10% at a few things, though. Not many, but more than one. Top 10% doesn't necessarily make me "extraordinary", depending on how you define it. It's enough for it to be part of my something, though.

1auralynn 4y ago

There was a part in Isaac Asimov's autobiography that stuck with me, where in high school he wasn't the best student in any subject. However, he was the SECOND best at EVERY subject, whereas the "best" students were only the best at one subject. So I think for some people, there is value in not being the "best" at anything but being good a lots of things regardless of overall ranking.

etrautmann 4y ago
This is what I’ve been implicitly optimizing for my whole life. Breadth over depth, but applied to a field. Pretty good at a lot of things to enable synthesis and creativity across domains. I’m very comfortable not maxing out a narrow set of sun skills, since 95% if the effort goes into the last little bit if performance, and the opportunity cost is then many other skills (or experiences or whatever)
myself248 4y ago
A jack of all trades, master of none, is oftentimes better than a master of one.
Dylan16807 4y ago
Trying to be second best in a large group will also destroy you. But okay, let's say 95th percentile to make it more achievable. Well, a normal person can reach 95th percentile in several things, but that's out of a list of hundreds of things or more. Being 95th percentile in most things is not going to happen, let alone all things.

etblg 4y ago

As people growing up in Canada were reminded of repeatedly, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6qUFm1HsI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6qUFm1HsI