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I've learned that 9 times out of 10, if someone is telling you about their problems, they really just want some understanding or compassion. I've found that in
by yoyohello13 4y ago
I've learned that 9 times out of 10, if someone is telling you about their problems, they really just want some understanding or compassion.
I've found that instead of trying to 'fix' their problem with unsolicited advice, saying something like "Wow, that sucks, I'm sorry you're going through that" leads to a much more positive response.
- onemoresoop 4y agoYou're right about that. People who try to fix others do so because they don't want to feel the other person's pain because, it hurts, it's unpleasant and they don't know what to say. They genuinely want the other person to get better but fail to see how it may make them feel worse by suggesting a fix.
- AYBABTME 4y agoTo me, someone saying "wow that sucks" tells me this person doesn't bother to think about what I said and is barely spending brain space on listening to me, instead choosing to blurt out a generic platitude. Their response lack a proof of work. Whereas if someone answers with something that clearly demonstrates that they feel engaged in my struggle, enough to spend some brain power on it to form a useful opinion or come up with some ideas, that's much better.
- yoyohello13 4y agoIt’s all in the delivery. You can say it in a way the sounds dismissive or compassionate, that’s on you.