4 ms·

Many of us have been here. You accelerated your life in a few ways - financially and career experience - compared to most people. There's a tax to pay. Some ar

Many of us have been here. You accelerated your life in a few ways - financially and career experience - compared to most people. There's a tax to pay. Some are good at paying it inline with work by having healthy workout routines, loving relationships, a higher purpose to suffer for. But a lot of us "burn out" and pay that tax afterwards. It sucks, I'm sorry. I took 6 months off, and wasn't ready to come back but just forced myself anyway. Therapists and psychologists are interesting to dabble with, and some people's lives are changed for the better. But they failed to help me at all, some were even bad for my mental health. Some blamed it on me for not being open to their theories (I consider attending every week for a few years, paying out of pocket, and actively engaging with their ideas in my everyday life as being quite open - they just couldn't handle critical thinking IMO). You have a lot to unpack - What's going on with my body? What is the source of my confidence if not in work? Should I become a PM/bartender/artist? I'd say don't rush an answer. This is the journey you're on. Start where you are, even if it's not where you want to be. Now that you're back at work, what's stopping you from doing the absolute minimum? I'm talking.. 4h days, boss unhappy with your performance, but not being fired. You don't care, right? Then focus on methodically answering the big questions, and having the experiences that shed the needed light for you.

ThrowAway1922A 4y ago
> What is the source of my confidence if not in work? Your whole comment is great, but this stuck out. My job is my self confidence and it is my self worth, without it I lose those things and I've been struggling with this massively throughout this entire process.
- wnolens 4y ago
  For sure. I relate. Like if I'm not a big money making guy, am I even attractive to women? Intimately tied to this question, is the judgment I make of others. Ye old projection ;) Is work all you've been doing for many years? Personal theory: I think a person needs several pillars in the foundation of their life. One will inevitably be in disrepair at any given time, but the others support you. For many it's.. family, friends, partner, a physical practice, and career. When my career is frustrating me, I walk away from my computer and have dinner with a friend or call my old man and see how he is. When a girlfriend dumps me, I work 60h weeks :) Putting all of yourself in one pillar is devastating when it falters, which it eventually will. Jobs are pretty important, even if big picture we all die and wish we worked less. Practically, it's central to the life and identity of a modern human. So you're not struggling with nothing, despite what spiritual teachers (pseudo, or otherwise) try to tell you.

ThrowAway1922A 4y ago

> What is the source of my confidence if not in work? Your whole comment is great, but this stuck out. My job is my self confidence and it is my self worth, without it I lose those things and I've been struggling with this massively throughout this entire process.

wnolens 4y ago
For sure. I relate. Like if I'm not a big money making guy, am I even attractive to women? Intimately tied to this question, is the judgment I make of others. Ye old projection ;) Is work all you've been doing for many years? Personal theory: I think a person needs several pillars in the foundation of their life. One will inevitably be in disrepair at any given time, but the others support you. For many it's.. family, friends, partner, a physical practice, and career. When my career is frustrating me, I walk away from my computer and have dinner with a friend or call my old man and see how he is. When a girlfriend dumps me, I work 60h weeks :) Putting all of yourself in one pillar is devastating when it falters, which it eventually will. Jobs are pretty important, even if big picture we all die and wish we worked less. Practically, it's central to the life and identity of a modern human. So you're not struggling with nothing, despite what spiritual teachers (pseudo, or otherwise) try to tell you.