4 ms·

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers."

by leobg 4y ago

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

dopidopHN 4y ago
New Orleans dive bars. It’s a joke how friendly people are and how it’s expected to strike a conversation with your neighbors. To the point that when picking a spot you might think « no, not this one I need some space » None are touristy, I live there since 10 years and it’s been a constant. You don’t made real connection. But a crew of accointanc. In that decade I met one guy that became a close friend. But .. so much people I would wave at and say hi.
nicbou 4y ago
I do feel like that after meeting strangers on the road. It's one thing to drive through a country, and another to become part of its community, even if just for a week or two. These places become a lot more than just locations.
- dazc 4y ago
  I know many people who are much better travelled than I am but lack any real knowledge of the countries they have visited. I lived in Spain for 3 years, not knowing a word of Spanish at first although many of my wiser friends informed me this wouldn't be a problem because everyone in Spain speaks English!
  - nicbou 4y ago
    It's less about language and more about curiosity. Some people are comfortable in the expat bubble, or as uninvolved observers. Meeting people, being actively curious about them, it demands energy. However there are some experiences that you can't buy. There's no entry ticket to an intimate celebration. You have to talk your way into it. You have to put in the work. You have to genuinely care about the people you interact with. I know this. I've experienced it time and time again. I just left a place full of people I will miss dearly. However after a long day of riding, I can't be arsed to do it. Thank god for extroverts who drag us kicking and screaming into their universe.
jemmyw 4y ago
In an aeroplane over the sea. I've had some really interesting conversations on flights. I've sat next to a military psychologist, an American who moved to the middle of nowhere in NZ to farm who was self learning python for agri automation, a vicar taking a group of American kids on a religious trip to my home town in the UK at a time when I was feeling especially atheist. And many others, I always try chatting on flights.
oneeyedpigeon 4y ago
> What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers? In the UK: a) while queuing b) waiting for public transport that has been horribly delayed
orwin 4y ago
I don't need to rideshare, but still do, just for the conversations with random strangers. Sadly it appears that for girls, ridesharing can be creepy if you do it without a boyfriend. This is not only anecdata from friends and familly: the app i use made a change a few years ago to propose "girls only" rideshare. Which is sad, but fair.
walledstance 4y ago
> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were looking for in the hopes during their search they had spotted the tortellinis’ new location. They mentioned they were also on a hunt for tortellini. I mentioned to them in passing that when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item. We then continued talking about shopping experiences at other places, and some how wound up talking about our favorite dishes. In the end my new shopping acquaintance found the tortellinis and asked me how many bags I wanted. Most experiences occur in shared events, such as standing in line for something, waiting after for an order to be fulfilled, or simply overhearing a conversation in a shopping center and commenting about my experience on what they mentioned. All these interactions, from my recent memory, have been positive. I like speaking to strangers. I feel uplifted and I depart conversations feeling like I participated in something societal. At the base, speaking to strangers has also taught me a crap load of stuff too. Examples: how to hang a nearly squirrel proof bird feeder, how to cook lamb better, how to wire a lamp, where good restaurants are, how to put a post in the ground more securely but with less concrete, etc. And, yes, I like humanity more because I talk to strangers. I see my appreciation for others happen when I become angry at people. I find myself asking “well they’re doing this for a reason, I just haven’t asked them their reason, yet.”
- samstave 4y ago
  I really like your post, I am extremely adept at talking to strangers, and I think its fn great to be able to chat-up a stranger and get to know them. it builds humanity and CO-munity. I learn so much from others and I have a profound skill for just meeting a random and then being able to relate to them. most people are really surprised at my breadth of knowledge - and the thing is my breadth of knowledge is DUE to the fact that I chat so many people up to know them. I thrive off talking to randoms. EDIT: im lucky that I also have a good street smarts and I know what strangers to avoid
- 4y ago
nverno 4y ago
I used to hitchhike a lot, and nearly every stranger (a couple nutjobs here and there) I met in that manner was interesting. Travelling in general, you meet a lot of strangers in situations where they are feeling charitable or helpful, which leads to great interactions. Also, in/around the wilderness, strangers are usually more eager/open to interaction.
hardware2win 4y ago
>Twitter/HN doesn’t count. It definitely does It is just medium with less informations eg it lacks face expressions
intrasight 4y ago
> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” By coincidence, last night I went to a Halloween party - sort of crashed actually. There's really no better a venue for talking to strangers than at a fancy party where everyone is wearing cool costumes. I find it easier to come out of my shell when, for example, I have a kilt and a sword. I recently bought - after seeing it mentioned on HN - Nick Gray's "The 2-hour Cocktail Party". It's a good resource on hosting parties where people interact.
origin_path 4y ago
I used to go regularly to meetups in my local town that were specifically about meeting strangers. They would usually be advertised as for people 'new in town' but in reality a lot of people went there just to hang out even if they'd lived there for years. Because the events were about nothing in particular, you had to learn how to make smalltalk and then how to nicely escalate it to more interesting conversations. Obviously it wasn't truly random strangers because people self-selected by going, but there was a steady supply of truly new people who just wanted to meet others and make friends. Met lots of people that way, made some great friendships and even business connections. Will echo jemmyw about flights. Obviously you don't want to be the annoying seat neighbour, but usually if someone wants to chat they'll make that clear fairly fast. I had some great and interesting conversations with people on planes. Even got numbers from a couple of girls :)
tsuujin 4y ago
I enjoy staying in hostels when I travel, specifically because I always meet someone interesting. There’s always someone from another country, or going to an interesting event, or from a religion I hadn’t had exposure to, or something else new and novel. You’re sharing a room by default, and people willing to do that seem more likely to be fascinating and willing to tell you about it. I am also a massive introvert, so it works well for me to know that once we’re done sharing stories I will never have to see them again.

by leobg 4y ago

dopidopHN 4y ago

New Orleans dive bars. It’s a joke how friendly people are and how it’s expected to strike a conversation with your neighbors. To the point that when picking a spot you might think « no, not this one I need some space » None are touristy, I live there since 10 years and it’s been a constant. You don’t made real connection. But a crew of accointanc. In that decade I met one guy that became a close friend. But .. so much people I would wave at and say hi.

nicbou 4y ago

I do feel like that after meeting strangers on the road. It's one thing to drive through a country, and another to become part of its community, even if just for a week or two. These places become a lot more than just locations.

dazc 4y ago
I know many people who are much better travelled than I am but lack any real knowledge of the countries they have visited. I lived in Spain for 3 years, not knowing a word of Spanish at first although many of my wiser friends informed me this wouldn't be a problem because everyone in Spain speaks English!
- nicbou 4y ago
  It's less about language and more about curiosity. Some people are comfortable in the expat bubble, or as uninvolved observers. Meeting people, being actively curious about them, it demands energy. However there are some experiences that you can't buy. There's no entry ticket to an intimate celebration. You have to talk your way into it. You have to put in the work. You have to genuinely care about the people you interact with. I know this. I've experienced it time and time again. I just left a place full of people I will miss dearly. However after a long day of riding, I can't be arsed to do it. Thank god for extroverts who drag us kicking and screaming into their universe.

jemmyw 4y ago

In an aeroplane over the sea. I've had some really interesting conversations on flights. I've sat next to a military psychologist, an American who moved to the middle of nowhere in NZ to farm who was self learning python for agri automation, a vicar taking a group of American kids on a religious trip to my home town in the UK at a time when I was feeling especially atheist. And many others, I always try chatting on flights.

oneeyedpigeon 4y ago

> What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers? In the UK: a) while queuing b) waiting for public transport that has been horribly delayed

orwin 4y ago

I don't need to rideshare, but still do, just for the conversations with random strangers. Sadly it appears that for girls, ridesharing can be creepy if you do it without a boyfriend. This is not only anecdata from friends and familly: the app i use made a change a few years ago to propose "girls only" rideshare. Which is sad, but fair.

walledstance 4y ago

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were looking for in the hopes during their search they had spotted the tortellinis’ new location. They mentioned they were also on a hunt for tortellini. I mentioned to them in passing that when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item. We then continued talking about shopping experiences at other places, and some how wound up talking about our favorite dishes. In the end my new shopping acquaintance found the tortellinis and asked me how many bags I wanted. Most experiences occur in shared events, such as standing in line for something, waiting after for an order to be fulfilled, or simply overhearing a conversation in a shopping center and commenting about my experience on what they mentioned. All these interactions, from my recent memory, have been positive. I like speaking to strangers. I feel uplifted and I depart conversations feeling like I participated in something societal. At the base, speaking to strangers has also taught me a crap load of stuff too. Examples: how to hang a nearly squirrel proof bird feeder, how to cook lamb better, how to wire a lamp, where good restaurants are, how to put a post in the ground more securely but with less concrete, etc. And, yes, I like humanity more because I talk to strangers. I see my appreciation for others happen when I become angry at people. I find myself asking “well they’re doing this for a reason, I just haven’t asked them their reason, yet.”

samstave 4y ago
I really like your post, I am extremely adept at talking to strangers, and I think its fn great to be able to chat-up a stranger and get to know them. it builds humanity and CO-munity. I learn so much from others and I have a profound skill for just meeting a random and then being able to relate to them. most people are really surprised at my breadth of knowledge - and the thing is my breadth of knowledge is DUE to the fact that I chat so many people up to know them. I thrive off talking to randoms. EDIT: im lucky that I also have a good street smarts and I know what strangers to avoid
4y ago

nverno 4y ago

I used to hitchhike a lot, and nearly every stranger (a couple nutjobs here and there) I met in that manner was interesting. Travelling in general, you meet a lot of strangers in situations where they are feeling charitable or helpful, which leads to great interactions. Also, in/around the wilderness, strangers are usually more eager/open to interaction.

hardware2win 4y ago

>Twitter/HN doesn’t count. It definitely does It is just medium with less informations eg it lacks face expressions

intrasight 4y ago

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” By coincidence, last night I went to a Halloween party - sort of crashed actually. There's really no better a venue for talking to strangers than at a fancy party where everyone is wearing cool costumes. I find it easier to come out of my shell when, for example, I have a kilt and a sword. I recently bought - after seeing it mentioned on HN - Nick Gray's "The 2-hour Cocktail Party". It's a good resource on hosting parties where people interact.

origin_path 4y ago

I used to go regularly to meetups in my local town that were specifically about meeting strangers. They would usually be advertised as for people 'new in town' but in reality a lot of people went there just to hang out even if they'd lived there for years. Because the events were about nothing in particular, you had to learn how to make smalltalk and then how to nicely escalate it to more interesting conversations. Obviously it wasn't truly random strangers because people self-selected by going, but there was a steady supply of truly new people who just wanted to meet others and make friends. Met lots of people that way, made some great friendships and even business connections. Will echo jemmyw about flights. Obviously you don't want to be the annoying seat neighbour, but usually if someone wants to chat they'll make that clear fairly fast. I had some great and interesting conversations with people on planes. Even got numbers from a couple of girls :)

tsuujin 4y ago

I enjoy staying in hostels when I travel, specifically because I always meet someone interesting. There’s always someone from another country, or going to an interesting event, or from a religion I hadn’t had exposure to, or something else new and novel. You’re sharing a room by default, and people willing to do that seem more likely to be fascinating and willing to tell you about it. I am also a massive introvert, so it works well for me to know that once we’re done sharing stories I will never have to see them again.