6 ms·

I have the feeling that for me it's the exact opposite. Born end of June, cutoff is the June the 30th, but my parents insisted to to let me start a year later.

I have the feeling that for me it's the exact opposite. Born end of June, cutoff is the June the 30th, but my parents insisted to to let me start a year later. This lead to me being up to a year older than anyone else. School stuff was always too easy for me (I might be also a bit smarter than the mean, but who knows?), so I never needed to really work for school and when the topics came where rote memorization and repetition helps I always fell a bit back. To this day I never really memorized the multiplication tables for example. Ask me what 7*8 is and I have to do math in my head. And this is only the most basic example. Because I never really pushed training the binomial formulas I later run out of time when I had to solve more complex formulas where having those ingrained helps "finding the shortcuts" instead of "brute force". We have a saying, that I "never learned how to learn". But it may also be that I suffer from undiagnosed ADHD (on top of that).

dorchadas 4y ago
I think I got lucky. Late July with a school that (at the time) had a Sept 1 cutoff. There was only one person younger than me until middle school. My kindergarten teacher, who was also a family friend, requested I do it again because I wasn't mature enough. And she was right, honestly; I'd fight against nap time, and remember no end to problems in first grade with sitting still. However, while maturity played a roll, the problem was I was bored. I went in to kindergarten being able to add, subtract and read, and had already started doing multiplication with my mom (herself a high school teacher). Another year in kindergarten would've been torture for me. Thankfully I had an amazing first grade teacher who recognised the problem. Instead of insisting on ADHD, she gave me more challenging stuff and let me work on my own. She never called on me to read aloud, because she gave me other books to read behind the class's book. This lasted until my 4th grade year, where one of my teachers didn't like it. Thankfully by then I was mature enough to recognise what I needed to do, etc. So really, I wonder how much of this is a mixture between multiple things and how many times kids get given ADHD diagnoses when what they really need is differentiated education. Granted, this is difficult; I was a math/science secondary school teacher (and I think it's even harder for elementary school teachers, for various reasons ranging from standards to their own competency in the subjects they teach), and it was almost impossible at times. That said, maybe I do have ADHD. I went on an amphetamine for weight loss at one point, and there were times I noticed I could focus longer and easier. But I've always had a tendency to get bored of something easily, and I'm sure the Internet hasn't made it any better. So I avoid getting tested as it doesn't impact work or study or anything for me (anymore than the Internet itself does)
piva00 4y ago
Very, very similar to my experience. I'm now approaching my mid-30s and under investigation with my therapist for ADHD. School was always a breeze, I would get hyperfocused during classes paying attention to instructors and content but could never, ever do homework. Any kind of school work outside of school hours was a struggle. Still managed to be always on top of my classes. I never actually learned how to learn, studied statistics in university and was hit by a brick wall on how to actually learn things which depended on more than just passively absorbing content... To this day I don't believe I have a decent strategy for learning, it's a very scattered approach where I dunk into the subject from multiple angles and slowly build a mental model based on the patterns I see repeating from multiple sources. I'll start with an introductory book to gather an overview of the subject and then will jump in between other books and more advanced sections to see earlier concepts already applied and then backtrack to the gaps I see missing in my knowledge. Somehow this way of learning is much more motivating to me than simply parsing through a linear approach of theory building. Whenever I try to go front-to-back with a textbook I get terribly unfocused.
- nvarsj 4y ago
  You don’t really sound like someone with ADHD to me. You sound like someone who is smart and gets bored with easy tasks. I’ve worked with kids with clinical ADHD and it is very obvious to everyone involved. HN (and probably the Bay Area which usually is reflected here) has become a weird echo chamber of nerds all claiming they think they have ADHD. When really, it’s that smart people get bored very easily. And most of what we do in our jobs are boring. Of course, stimulants help with this - why do you think we all drink so much coffee. Prescription stims are even better and are well tolerated. The right western doc will happily diagnose and prescribe for ADHD regardless of the severity. I know ADHD is a spectrum, but I believe that diagnosis is only really warranted for those truly clinical - people who literally cannot hold any job at all and would be homeless otherwise. I guess there is the argument we should all just be allowed to take whatever drug we want and there is certainly merit to that. Even the most productive coders, writers, musicians etc talk about their struggles to stay focused. It takes grit and intense self discipline to sit for 8 hrs doing work that isn’t immediately satisfying. Most people can’t do this, it’s not abnormal. People goof off at work all the time in most jobs, because they can’t hold their attention for so long.
user_7832 4y ago
Interestingly my experience is a mix of your and the parent comment. I'm born towards the end of the year, and where I'm from (Afroeurasia) there isn't a strict year based cutoff. So I had Jan-born peers almost 2 years older, and folks a year younger. Fortunately I was always fairly bright despite probably spending a solid 30% of my time daydreaming. I could catch up quickly... until it started getting harder in high school. Uni and grad school hit me, and I finally got dx'ed some time back (still in grad school). I think I have been lucky that in school, most teachers were fairly nice intelligent people, and I was always the good, quiet kid who'd ask good questions (because I'm interested in everything). Having a good structure at home also majorly helped. But in retrospect? Anybody spending hours every day daydreaming... yeah, screen them for ADHD, that was kinda obvious.
fnordpiglet 4y ago
That’s why I choose a school for my daughter that differentiates in the class. That means they adapt material per student by their abilities across subjects. My daughter is extraordinarily advanced in reading and math, but she is in a class of kids around her age but the material is adapted to her ability individually. The age component for me is about maturity in a social context.

dorchadas 4y ago

I think I got lucky. Late July with a school that (at the time) had a Sept 1 cutoff. There was only one person younger than me until middle school. My kindergarten teacher, who was also a family friend, requested I do it again because I wasn't mature enough. And she was right, honestly; I'd fight against nap time, and remember no end to problems in first grade with sitting still. However, while maturity played a roll, the problem was I was bored. I went in to kindergarten being able to add, subtract and read, and had already started doing multiplication with my mom (herself a high school teacher). Another year in kindergarten would've been torture for me. Thankfully I had an amazing first grade teacher who recognised the problem. Instead of insisting on ADHD, she gave me more challenging stuff and let me work on my own. She never called on me to read aloud, because she gave me other books to read behind the class's book. This lasted until my 4th grade year, where one of my teachers didn't like it. Thankfully by then I was mature enough to recognise what I needed to do, etc. So really, I wonder how much of this is a mixture between multiple things and how many times kids get given ADHD diagnoses when what they really need is differentiated education. Granted, this is difficult; I was a math/science secondary school teacher (and I think it's even harder for elementary school teachers, for various reasons ranging from standards to their own competency in the subjects they teach), and it was almost impossible at times. That said, maybe I do have ADHD. I went on an amphetamine for weight loss at one point, and there were times I noticed I could focus longer and easier. But I've always had a tendency to get bored of something easily, and I'm sure the Internet hasn't made it any better. So I avoid getting tested as it doesn't impact work or study or anything for me (anymore than the Internet itself does)

piva00 4y ago

Very, very similar to my experience. I'm now approaching my mid-30s and under investigation with my therapist for ADHD. School was always a breeze, I would get hyperfocused during classes paying attention to instructors and content but could never, ever do homework. Any kind of school work outside of school hours was a struggle. Still managed to be always on top of my classes. I never actually learned how to learn, studied statistics in university and was hit by a brick wall on how to actually learn things which depended on more than just passively absorbing content... To this day I don't believe I have a decent strategy for learning, it's a very scattered approach where I dunk into the subject from multiple angles and slowly build a mental model based on the patterns I see repeating from multiple sources. I'll start with an introductory book to gather an overview of the subject and then will jump in between other books and more advanced sections to see earlier concepts already applied and then backtrack to the gaps I see missing in my knowledge. Somehow this way of learning is much more motivating to me than simply parsing through a linear approach of theory building. Whenever I try to go front-to-back with a textbook I get terribly unfocused.

nvarsj 4y ago
You don’t really sound like someone with ADHD to me. You sound like someone who is smart and gets bored with easy tasks. I’ve worked with kids with clinical ADHD and it is very obvious to everyone involved. HN (and probably the Bay Area which usually is reflected here) has become a weird echo chamber of nerds all claiming they think they have ADHD. When really, it’s that smart people get bored very easily. And most of what we do in our jobs are boring. Of course, stimulants help with this - why do you think we all drink so much coffee. Prescription stims are even better and are well tolerated. The right western doc will happily diagnose and prescribe for ADHD regardless of the severity. I know ADHD is a spectrum, but I believe that diagnosis is only really warranted for those truly clinical - people who literally cannot hold any job at all and would be homeless otherwise. I guess there is the argument we should all just be allowed to take whatever drug we want and there is certainly merit to that. Even the most productive coders, writers, musicians etc talk about their struggles to stay focused. It takes grit and intense self discipline to sit for 8 hrs doing work that isn’t immediately satisfying. Most people can’t do this, it’s not abnormal. People goof off at work all the time in most jobs, because they can’t hold their attention for so long.

user_7832 4y ago

Interestingly my experience is a mix of your and the parent comment. I'm born towards the end of the year, and where I'm from (Afroeurasia) there isn't a strict year based cutoff. So I had Jan-born peers almost 2 years older, and folks a year younger. Fortunately I was always fairly bright despite probably spending a solid 30% of my time daydreaming. I could catch up quickly... until it started getting harder in high school. Uni and grad school hit me, and I finally got dx'ed some time back (still in grad school). I think I have been lucky that in school, most teachers were fairly nice intelligent people, and I was always the good, quiet kid who'd ask good questions (because I'm interested in everything). Having a good structure at home also majorly helped. But in retrospect? Anybody spending hours every day daydreaming... yeah, screen them for ADHD, that was kinda obvious.

fnordpiglet 4y ago

That’s why I choose a school for my daughter that differentiates in the class. That means they adapt material per student by their abilities across subjects. My daughter is extraordinarily advanced in reading and math, but she is in a class of kids around her age but the material is adapted to her ability individually. The age component for me is about maturity in a social context.