> I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/activities on weekends. My wife and I are good at sharing the load. You don't

> I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/activities on weekends. My wife and I are good at sharing the load. You don't need 2 parents watching kids 100% of the time. I'm not sure there's actually anything to discuss here, but you present anecdata and I'm happy it works out for you. I guess you've talked to several people who just seem to have a completely different experience. I'd say 3-4 out of 5 couples will typically wall off completely once they have kids and you can go from seeing them every week to... maybe 2-3 times a year. Mind you, I am not complaining - I am merely trying to observe and document. If you don't need both parents watching the kid(s)? Cool. Most couples I know won't split up for the evening so one of them can go out regularly to meet friends, they will both stay at home. This sometimes gets better when the kids are old enough so they can bring them, but I've seen that take 6-8 years. > Don't let the idea of the first few months/years define your entire decision for how you want to structure your family for the rest of your life Coming back t your point one - 10 years can be a long time, especially if it's about losing contact to friends. When they're gone your life may have actually changed, because now you need new friends, if you value that part. Again, please don't take this as any kind of blame - but it's not really hard to convey, and I've certainly simplified a lot of thing. You don't just stop talking to your friends because you now have kids, there are other reason - but my experience (and probably that of the people you want to convey things to) is that if your friends get kids, there's a good chance you'll lose access to them, and ultimately, lose them as friends - unless you live close and get kids at the same time.