4 ms·

I’ll add a slightly different take: include your kids in everything, starting as early as possible. Hobbies, errands, everything. It will be challenging, it is

I’ll add a slightly different take: include your kids in everything, starting as early as possible. Hobbies, errands, everything. It will be challenging, it is undeniably more work, but it becomes easier over time and will pay dividends eventually. It’s difficult to make the perspective shift in the moment, but it’s helpful to remember that the whole entire world is new and exciting for kids. They’re curious little creatures, constantly growing and learning. Even mundane tasks like running errands can turn into engaging, stimulating activities for little ones. The weekly grocery pickup or a trip to the hardware store are opportunities to explore the world and instill curiosity. It doesn’t happen for free, though: as a parent, it’s your job to engage and foster this. I haven’t even touched on how rewarding it is to include kids in hobbies. My kids are under five, and partake in everything from hiking, camping, backpacking, canoeing and snowshoeing to woodworking and cooking. Turns out kids just wanna do all the great things their parents do, and will rise to the occasion if given the opportunity :) The opportunities are there if you let them be there!

sriram_malhar 4y ago
Best answer. I am happily child-free, but I love parents like this, and their li'l ones.
Shyles 4y ago
I want to specify that mundane might be super mundane. My kids (1,5 years) absolutely love 1. emptying washing machine 2. emptying laundry 3. picking up toys to a box when cleaning 4. peeling potatoes with me. They will give me potatoes, I peel them, and they'll taste the raw potatoes and put them to a container. This surely takes more time than doing the tasks alone, but this way is much more fun.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
lancesells 4y ago
I agree with this take 100%. I also think for all of the different perspectives the biggest one I try to achieve is "if you're not happy your kids won't be happy". So hobbies and needs should be met if they are really what put you in a better place. Babies and toddlers require a large amount of work and there are surely sacrifices but if you're miserable it's not helping your children and they will know.
ShamelessC 4y ago
edit; nm
- sethherr 4y ago
  It seems like a response. The parent said a source of regret was “I can’t take up new hobbies” and this response was “involve your kids in your hobbies”
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - ShamelessC 4y ago
    Ah indeed, there are two extremely similar titles on hn currently with very different contexts. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33259414 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33259414
jonaf 4y ago
Agree with this 100%, as a father of 5. I have 2 sped kiddos that are aseverely handicapped and even at 7 and 8 years of age they cant do many so-called mundane tasks. Also no one can or wants to watch them, including family. Also if you think child care is a difficult and expensive problem, try hiring one through an agency for sped kids. Also the prognosis is that they will be permanently dependent, so there's no light at the end of the tunnel. The only solution is to get acquainted with the idea that your life will never be what you wanted, and to stop comparing yourself and your career to others. If you can do that, you can talk yourself into committing to tomorrow. Not that tomorrow will be better for YOU, but your commitment to it affords a future for your family, or at least, 1 more day of future.
- voisin 4y ago
  I appreciate your comments. > The only solution is to get acquainted with the idea that your life will never be what you wanted, … What I’ve found fascinating as I’ve gotten older is that the life I _wanted_ at different points in my life has never been what I ended up with later, but somehow that’s been okay and when I look back I always come to be thankful for every “setback”. Like Steve Jobs’ commencement speech, life has to be lived going forward but is only understood looking back. You are certainly a stronger person as a result of having two special needs children, likely far more compassionate and understanding than you would have been otherwise. I’ve heard the concert expressed as setbacks being our “divine moment” to move toward our true path. Maybe a bit woo woo but I certainly feel like my setbacks have put me on a more fulfilling path.
deltarholamda 4y ago
>include your kids in everything, starting as early as possible. Hobbies, errands, everything. This, 100%. It's actually easier than you think once it becomes a habit. Kids learn by emulation and practice, so they will naturally pick up on politeness, kindness, etc. as you go about your day. Being able to see things new with your kids' eyes is enlightening as well. You've seen rocks, you've seen all the rocks, but you kids have never seen that rock before, and it's fun to look at it together and share what you know. I would add that trying certain kinds of new hobbies with kids is also great. For example, if you've never tried painting before, start with your kids giving it a go as well. All kids want to do is spend time with you. They're not particular. It's cliche, but it's true--they grow up faster than you think. Never pass up the chance to spend time with them.
P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago
hot take: You are not your children, spend time on yourself, lest you find yourself suffering from the empty nest syndrome. hotter take: Not even your children want that.
schwartzworld 4y ago
Eh, there are some hobbies and kids that that works for and some that it doesn't. My kids like hearing me play music, but recording music requires several hours of focus in a quiet space. I can do a version of it with them, but it's not the same. After my oldest turned 6 her ability to understand some things greatly improved, and I love that I can read books with ber that I remember from my youth. But I still can't read the books I would choose to pick for my own pleasure. It gets easier the older they get. By the time my girls are 8 and 10, I'm sure that I'll be able to dedicate a weekend to recording like I used to, but it's absolutely not something I can do with little kids around.

sriram_malhar 4y ago

Best answer. I am happily child-free, but I love parents like this, and their li'l ones.

Shyles 4y ago

I want to specify that mundane might be super mundane. My kids (1,5 years) absolutely love 1. emptying washing machine 2. emptying laundry 3. picking up toys to a box when cleaning 4. peeling potatoes with me. They will give me potatoes, I peel them, and they'll taste the raw potatoes and put them to a container. This surely takes more time than doing the tasks alone, but this way is much more fun.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

lancesells 4y ago

I agree with this take 100%. I also think for all of the different perspectives the biggest one I try to achieve is "if you're not happy your kids won't be happy". So hobbies and needs should be met if they are really what put you in a better place. Babies and toddlers require a large amount of work and there are surely sacrifices but if you're miserable it's not helping your children and they will know.

ShamelessC 4y ago

edit; nm

sethherr 4y ago
It seems like a response. The parent said a source of regret was “I can’t take up new hobbies” and this response was “involve your kids in your hobbies”
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- ShamelessC 4y ago
  Ah indeed, there are two extremely similar titles on hn currently with very different contexts. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33259414 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33259414

jonaf 4y ago

Agree with this 100%, as a father of 5. I have 2 sped kiddos that are aseverely handicapped and even at 7 and 8 years of age they cant do many so-called mundane tasks. Also no one can or wants to watch them, including family. Also if you think child care is a difficult and expensive problem, try hiring one through an agency for sped kids. Also the prognosis is that they will be permanently dependent, so there's no light at the end of the tunnel. The only solution is to get acquainted with the idea that your life will never be what you wanted, and to stop comparing yourself and your career to others. If you can do that, you can talk yourself into committing to tomorrow. Not that tomorrow will be better for YOU, but your commitment to it affords a future for your family, or at least, 1 more day of future.

voisin 4y ago
I appreciate your comments. > The only solution is to get acquainted with the idea that your life will never be what you wanted, … What I’ve found fascinating as I’ve gotten older is that the life I _wanted_ at different points in my life has never been what I ended up with later, but somehow that’s been okay and when I look back I always come to be thankful for every “setback”. Like Steve Jobs’ commencement speech, life has to be lived going forward but is only understood looking back. You are certainly a stronger person as a result of having two special needs children, likely far more compassionate and understanding than you would have been otherwise. I’ve heard the concert expressed as setbacks being our “divine moment” to move toward our true path. Maybe a bit woo woo but I certainly feel like my setbacks have put me on a more fulfilling path.

deltarholamda 4y ago

>include your kids in everything, starting as early as possible. Hobbies, errands, everything. This, 100%. It's actually easier than you think once it becomes a habit. Kids learn by emulation and practice, so they will naturally pick up on politeness, kindness, etc. as you go about your day. Being able to see things new with your kids' eyes is enlightening as well. You've seen rocks, you've seen all the rocks, but you kids have never seen that rock before, and it's fun to look at it together and share what you know. I would add that trying certain kinds of new hobbies with kids is also great. For example, if you've never tried painting before, start with your kids giving it a go as well. All kids want to do is spend time with you. They're not particular. It's cliche, but it's true--they grow up faster than you think. Never pass up the chance to spend time with them.

P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago

hot take: You are not your children, spend time on yourself, lest you find yourself suffering from the empty nest syndrome. hotter take: Not even your children want that.

schwartzworld 4y ago

Eh, there are some hobbies and kids that that works for and some that it doesn't. My kids like hearing me play music, but recording music requires several hours of focus in a quiet space. I can do a version of it with them, but it's not the same. After my oldest turned 6 her ability to understand some things greatly improved, and I love that I can read books with ber that I remember from my youth. But I still can't read the books I would choose to pick for my own pleasure. It gets easier the older they get. By the time my girls are 8 and 10, I'm sure that I'll be able to dedicate a weekend to recording like I used to, but it's absolutely not something I can do with little kids around.