Volunteer at an organization that serves children and families. Given the trajectory of your wants (from extreme avoidance to extreme regret) probably what you

Volunteer at an organization that serves children and families. Given the trajectory of your wants (from extreme avoidance to extreme regret) probably what you really would like is flexible time nurturing another generation. Many people other than parents may have a special influence in a child's life. Try being that inspirational nonparent mentor and friend, see how that feels.