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All bad job stories can be boiled down to someone at a company who was in charge over employees did not want someone at the company anymore. No amount of emoti

All bad job stories can be boiled down to someone at a company who was in charge over employees did not want someone at the company anymore. No amount of emotions or rationalization or any other factor really changes this. Employees are professionals who provide services while in employ. When your services are no longer wanted, they are no longer paid for and rendered. You can say someone was a bad person or an asshole or whatever, you might be or they might be and probably will be right or both the employer or employee will both be right, or you will be dealing with a bad employer or employee. It happens. It’s life. But I think the healthiest way to deal with these things is to remember you are providing a service for a fee. That fee might be a salary, it might be a retainer, it might be a flat rate, or a one time fee. But you vend and perform services to those who pay for them. Everything else, every other ceremony and nicety and construct, usually built by employers for employees, though sometimes albeit rarely both ways, is designed to impair this judgement and create a scenario where one party forgets this and their relationship is transformed into something else, usually subservient without a notion of autonomy. It is why employers use “subordinate”—who are you truly subordinate to? You are not a slave. They are dependent on your labor and you on their patronage. It is mutual. Or “terminate”—why is such ceremonious negative language used? To make you feel bad that employment has “ended.” Which is what it is an “end,” “termination” is needless. Or “performance improvement plan,” what improvement needs to be dictated to a professional? A professional knows their limits and places where they can or cannot provide satisfactory service. When a professional fails to deliver, a client or customer simply does not buy. A professional knows they lack because a service or good was not purchased. The ulterior motive here is to punish. That’s why. My advice—don’t do this. While rarely there might be something interesting to learn from bad employment stories, writing them as someone who is not of notoriety just tarnishes one’s image. The benefit is only, and only rarely, for the reader.

explorer83 4y ago
I think this outlook is completely rational. I think the last bit is painfully true if you've ever been in a similar position and want to shout the injustice from the rooftops and future job interviews. However, I think it's near impossible to actively maintain this clear headed detachment in many working arrangements. Unless your job has a lot of independent autonomous work time, you're stuck most of your waking day in this environment. The mental capacity to keep this grounded outlook while handling the daily job stress is too much IMO. Plus I believe we are somewhat wired from evolution to work in cooperation with others and have some need to feel valued or at least accepted in our work with others.
sparrish 4y ago
I agree with you and feel that younger employees lose sight of this more easily as their entire world revolves around their employment and those they work with. Lack of a 'life' outside of work makes one myopic to the cold nature of employment and changes the dynamic so losing a job is an enormous emotional hit. Start a family, go to church, cultivate friendships outside of your work. Your life will be better off for it and it will help keep this employee/employer relationship in its proper focus.
- neon_electro 4y ago
  >younger employees lose sight of this more easily as their entire world revolves around their employment and those they work with Do you think employers deserve any responsibility for creating that perception among employees? Is this entirely the youth's fault?
  - theGnuMe 4y ago
    Sure, when the employer provides 3 free squares a day, onsite massages, custom merch, team volleyball and a hiring process that emphasizes culture fit.
    - to11mtm 4y ago
      You don't even have to go that far TBH. I've seen a pattern with some companies where people are afraid to leave, for lack of a better way of putting it, "It's hell but if I leave it will be even more hell for my friends I leave behind." It's often a form of 'trauma-bonding'.
  - ipaddr 4y ago
    When words of family start floating around or when social activities are provided/expected.
    - jasebell 4y ago
      Years and years ago I worked at an organisation where I was expected to role play Dungeons and Dragons (polystyrene swords and all). When I refused it got tense. The tipping point happened when I found a bug in the CTO's database code and it would run out of memory (not closing JDBC ResultSets). Then I started finding coins on the floor, I'd just pick them up and hand them in, I knew what was going on. I didn't last long, glad I was ejected when I was.
citilife 4y ago
> My advice—don’t do this. While rarely there might be something interesting to learn from bad employment stories, writing them as someone who is not of notoriety just tarnishes one’s image. The benefit is only, and only rarely, for the reader. Yes, this is very good advice. You have at-will employment and there's little reason to stick around if you're unwanted and / or your interested / skilled in a different area. It just breeds resentment in both directions. Speaking poorly about your prior employers will make future employers wary. Even if it was anonymous. Why did this author write this piece in the first place? The author appears to be somewhat of a political activist and interested in the space https://www.wesleyfaulkner.com/ https://www.wesleyfaulkner.com/ Nothing wrong with that, but it at least makes sense why this particular author is discussing their story.
- bsenftner 4y ago
  > Speaking poorly about your prior employers will make future employers wary. Even if it was anonymous. Perhaps in a previous world, but the power imbalance between employer and employees in the corporate world, and twice so in the tech corporate world is extreme today. The very presence of "quiet quitting" as a thing not immediately being turned around as "don't you mean required overwork?" shows how brainwashed people are today. The attitude of not talking honestly about one's employment treatment continues to perpetuate terrible working environments. Places like Glassdoor.com and if you remember fatbabies.com - they do society a great service.
- nuancebydefault 4y ago
  My experience is that new potential employers don't dig that deep in what you did on social media or blogs, most input they gather comes directly from the employee. They want to know what skills you have and what personality you have, mostly by asking questions orally.
falcolas 4y ago
This is beautifully rational advice. But that makes it only half-complete as a guide for people going through these events. There also needs to be advice on how to handle the emotional and irrational side of being a person. I don't have the full set of advice to help, but I would say this is a good first step: "Be kind to yourself." Nobody can hurt you more than you can. Especially when other folks try and push their faults off on you.
thewarrior 4y ago
What you're saying here seems to be that corporations are inherently sociopathic constructs and one should approach employment with the cold calculating rationality of a machine. There is no reason to expect any empathy or solidarity. Sounds very bleak to be honest.
- NegativeK 4y ago
  I agree. I've had employers that were sociopathic, weren't sociopathic but were such a mess that it was like being in a relationship with a heroin addict, and weren't sociopathic and cared (with actions, not just words) about my well-being beyond just my productivity. Businesses are made of people. Businesses do bad and good things due to the decisions of the people involved. If my bosses treat me with compassion and fairness, even in the face of hard choices, I'm going to reciprocate. If they don't -- and they treat me like a vending machine, for instance -- I'll also reciprocate (and might strongly consider switching employers, if I can.)
- denton-scratch 4y ago
  Bleak; but it's the truth. That's how the employer sees it. They may try to cultivate the "we're all like a family" atmosphere, but that's not how they see it. And not all families are lovely.
denton-scratch 4y ago
I called my boss out for bullying. They held a "process", which from my POV was inconclusive. He had been shouting at me for joking with colleagues in the office - they were not called out. My colleagues all thought he had been unreasonable; when he yelled at me, a deathly silence fell over the whole room, and nobody spoke until knocking-off time. I think the problem was that he wasn't a techie; he was a slick salesman (this was a small firm). I think I was undermining him by existing. I actually liked the guy; my complaint was that he was being unfair. A couple of weeks later, I told him I was planning to retire, which I did 6 months later.
TomSwirly 4y ago
The power balance between the individual worker and a corporation is completely and utterly unequal, when renders your whole rant moot. In fact, from my point of view your argument could be summed up as, "Corporations have no human emotions of any sort, particularly loyalty, and so workers need the most stringent and extreme protections against these psychopathic organizations."
mcguire 4y ago
Would you say that it is unreasonable to expect anyone who is 'in charge over employees' to be professional?
nuancebydefault 4y ago
Your discourse makes perfect sense, but thinking more about it... this works when you behave almost like a robot, de-couple emotions from work. Provide service --> get paid. If that works for you and other employees, that's perfectly fine. From experience I know this does not work for me personally. A job has a feedback loop, from which fee or salary is part. For me that is only a small part. The biggest part of the feedback loop is satisfaction I get via social interaction, next to technical satisfaction -- making things that work. When one gets -- publicly or not -- humiliated or downplayed, bullied, this has a very big impact on one's feelings and hence job satisfaction. The biggest lesson I learned over the years: there are plenty of employers, each have a unique work culture and types of managers. If things go awry, switch jobs until you enter a culture that fits you well, and you will be happier. Don't dwell about it too much.

explorer83 4y ago

I think this outlook is completely rational. I think the last bit is painfully true if you've ever been in a similar position and want to shout the injustice from the rooftops and future job interviews. However, I think it's near impossible to actively maintain this clear headed detachment in many working arrangements. Unless your job has a lot of independent autonomous work time, you're stuck most of your waking day in this environment. The mental capacity to keep this grounded outlook while handling the daily job stress is too much IMO. Plus I believe we are somewhat wired from evolution to work in cooperation with others and have some need to feel valued or at least accepted in our work with others.

sparrish 4y ago

I agree with you and feel that younger employees lose sight of this more easily as their entire world revolves around their employment and those they work with. Lack of a 'life' outside of work makes one myopic to the cold nature of employment and changes the dynamic so losing a job is an enormous emotional hit. Start a family, go to church, cultivate friendships outside of your work. Your life will be better off for it and it will help keep this employee/employer relationship in its proper focus.

neon_electro 4y ago
>younger employees lose sight of this more easily as their entire world revolves around their employment and those they work with Do you think employers deserve any responsibility for creating that perception among employees? Is this entirely the youth's fault?
- theGnuMe 4y ago
  Sure, when the employer provides 3 free squares a day, onsite massages, custom merch, team volleyball and a hiring process that emphasizes culture fit.
  - to11mtm 4y ago
    You don't even have to go that far TBH. I've seen a pattern with some companies where people are afraid to leave, for lack of a better way of putting it, "It's hell but if I leave it will be even more hell for my friends I leave behind." It's often a form of 'trauma-bonding'.
- ipaddr 4y ago
  When words of family start floating around or when social activities are provided/expected.
  - jasebell 4y ago
    Years and years ago I worked at an organisation where I was expected to role play Dungeons and Dragons (polystyrene swords and all). When I refused it got tense. The tipping point happened when I found a bug in the CTO's database code and it would run out of memory (not closing JDBC ResultSets). Then I started finding coins on the floor, I'd just pick them up and hand them in, I knew what was going on. I didn't last long, glad I was ejected when I was.

citilife 4y ago

> My advice—don’t do this. While rarely there might be something interesting to learn from bad employment stories, writing them as someone who is not of notoriety just tarnishes one’s image. The benefit is only, and only rarely, for the reader. Yes, this is very good advice. You have at-will employment and there's little reason to stick around if you're unwanted and / or your interested / skilled in a different area. It just breeds resentment in both directions. Speaking poorly about your prior employers will make future employers wary. Even if it was anonymous. Why did this author write this piece in the first place? The author appears to be somewhat of a political activist and interested in the space https://www.wesleyfaulkner.com/ https://www.wesleyfaulkner.com/ Nothing wrong with that, but it at least makes sense why this particular author is discussing their story.

bsenftner 4y ago
> Speaking poorly about your prior employers will make future employers wary. Even if it was anonymous. Perhaps in a previous world, but the power imbalance between employer and employees in the corporate world, and twice so in the tech corporate world is extreme today. The very presence of "quiet quitting" as a thing not immediately being turned around as "don't you mean required overwork?" shows how brainwashed people are today. The attitude of not talking honestly about one's employment treatment continues to perpetuate terrible working environments. Places like Glassdoor.com and if you remember fatbabies.com - they do society a great service.
nuancebydefault 4y ago
My experience is that new potential employers don't dig that deep in what you did on social media or blogs, most input they gather comes directly from the employee. They want to know what skills you have and what personality you have, mostly by asking questions orally.

falcolas 4y ago

This is beautifully rational advice. But that makes it only half-complete as a guide for people going through these events. There also needs to be advice on how to handle the emotional and irrational side of being a person. I don't have the full set of advice to help, but I would say this is a good first step: "Be kind to yourself." Nobody can hurt you more than you can. Especially when other folks try and push their faults off on you.

thewarrior 4y ago

What you're saying here seems to be that corporations are inherently sociopathic constructs and one should approach employment with the cold calculating rationality of a machine. There is no reason to expect any empathy or solidarity. Sounds very bleak to be honest.

NegativeK 4y ago
I agree. I've had employers that were sociopathic, weren't sociopathic but were such a mess that it was like being in a relationship with a heroin addict, and weren't sociopathic and cared (with actions, not just words) about my well-being beyond just my productivity. Businesses are made of people. Businesses do bad and good things due to the decisions of the people involved. If my bosses treat me with compassion and fairness, even in the face of hard choices, I'm going to reciprocate. If they don't -- and they treat me like a vending machine, for instance -- I'll also reciprocate (and might strongly consider switching employers, if I can.)
denton-scratch 4y ago
Bleak; but it's the truth. That's how the employer sees it. They may try to cultivate the "we're all like a family" atmosphere, but that's not how they see it. And not all families are lovely.

denton-scratch 4y ago

I called my boss out for bullying. They held a "process", which from my POV was inconclusive. He had been shouting at me for joking with colleagues in the office - they were not called out. My colleagues all thought he had been unreasonable; when he yelled at me, a deathly silence fell over the whole room, and nobody spoke until knocking-off time. I think the problem was that he wasn't a techie; he was a slick salesman (this was a small firm). I think I was undermining him by existing. I actually liked the guy; my complaint was that he was being unfair. A couple of weeks later, I told him I was planning to retire, which I did 6 months later.

TomSwirly 4y ago

The power balance between the individual worker and a corporation is completely and utterly unequal, when renders your whole rant moot. In fact, from my point of view your argument could be summed up as, "Corporations have no human emotions of any sort, particularly loyalty, and so workers need the most stringent and extreme protections against these psychopathic organizations."

mcguire 4y ago

Would you say that it is unreasonable to expect anyone who is 'in charge over employees' to be professional?

nuancebydefault 4y ago

Your discourse makes perfect sense, but thinking more about it... this works when you behave almost like a robot, de-couple emotions from work. Provide service --> get paid. If that works for you and other employees, that's perfectly fine. From experience I know this does not work for me personally. A job has a feedback loop, from which fee or salary is part. For me that is only a small part. The biggest part of the feedback loop is satisfaction I get via social interaction, next to technical satisfaction -- making things that work. When one gets -- publicly or not -- humiliated or downplayed, bullied, this has a very big impact on one's feelings and hence job satisfaction. The biggest lesson I learned over the years: there are plenty of employers, each have a unique work culture and types of managers. If things go awry, switch jobs until you enter a culture that fits you well, and you will be happier. Don't dwell about it too much.