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This is why I recommend you never fall in love with a job.
by xwdv 4y ago
This is why I recommend you never fall in love with a job.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- roflc0ptic 4y agoEverything you love you will lose. Avoiding loving things because of that seems like a painful life strategy.
- mylons 4y agoAristotle wrote quite a bit on this subject. Check out Nicomachean Ethics for a nice dry read. I think Aristotle would say that since a job is ultimately not in your control and you can be fired for reasons out of your control, you must compartmentalize your attachment, or detach altogether, if you wish to avoid pain. It’s also an insight from Buddhism that expectation and attachment are core causes for suffering.
- twh270 4y agoAnd you can lose a friendship, romantic partner, child, or anything else for reasons out of your control. Yes, expectation and attachment are core causes for pain/grief/suffering. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have expectations or attachments. It's just that you have to decide if the (potential or actual) grief and suffering is worth it, and under what terms you're willing to continue to have that expectation or attachment. This is where acceptance and boundaries have a huge part to play. That's sometimes a difficult question. What kind of relationship to have with an emotionally abusive parent? Whether to leave a job that's financially very rewarding but is also extremely stressful and 60-80 hour weeks are common?
- roflc0ptic 4y agoHonestly I was tempted to quote the five remembrances from buddhism: “everything you love will come to change.” We put them up on gravestones for Halloween one year. Buddhism decidedly doesn’t say “ergo, don’t love things.” It’s more “love things (people) as they are, without attachment and in full knowledge that they are ephemeral.”
- mylons 4y agoagreed. that’s why i said if you want to avoid pain. i think for a job it’s fine most of the time.
- roflc0ptic 4y agoAh, didn’t understand that. Thanks for clarifying!
- praptak 4y agoYou're free to love your job, just don't confuse it with your career. Also you're loving something that cannot love you back.
- jmull 4y agoAvoiding loving anything is surely different than avoiding loving a job. I think you can get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction out of a job without losing sight of the fact that it's a business arrangement... one which may stop being mutually beneficial for any number of reasons.
- MichaelCollins 4y agoIf not loving your job means you love nothing, then I suggest you try getting a dog.
- roflc0ptic 4y agoI did, his name was Quincy, he died of cancer
- dymk 4y agoI'm sure Quincy loved you very much, and enjoyed his finite time in this world with you
- Trasmatta 4y agoLoving things is painful. Avoiding loving things is also painful. I'm not sure which is worse. Life is full of pain no matter what you do, so I guess a big part is acceptance, and being able to sit with and accept the pain.
- xwdv 4y agoWhen I was younger I loved all kinds of things, until I grew older and realized many of those things weren’t all that special, and eventually the number of things I truly loved could be counted with one hand. Nowadays, I think I only need one finger.
- yellowapple 4y agoIt worked well enough for the Jedi Order (well, until it didn't).
- praptak 4y agoSolid advice but it doesn't really help in this case. "Bullied out of a job you don't love" is as bad.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- rixrax 4y agoAbsolutely. Or to put it another way, loving your job is great, but being jealously, madly in love should be avoided. I've sometimes wondered if there should be term limits on most jobs? E.g. no more than 8 years in any one company, and maybe no more than 3 years in any one position. Something like that.
- groestl 4y ago... that you do not own.
- brightball 4y agoMy natural state is to become highly emotionally invested in the success of companies I work for. I struggled with this, especially when I was prevented from fixing issues that were really hurting the companies. Everything from going through proper channels to getting the "not your job". Now I do consulting instead. I still get emotionally invested in the success of my clients but my job is specifically to help them run more effectively. Ended up that the solution for me has just been to find the job that allows me to help in the way most natural for me.
- revolutukr 4y agoThis makes me very sad, because in my 30 years I've seen so many of you burn out. I was like that for the first 15 years of my career until I watched a manager turn into a billionaire by abusing everybody who worked for him. My last 15 years I detached, and found myself much happier. My bipolar disorder became manageable, my addictions went away, my health improved, and my finances improved. Your job will never love you back. Your employer's interests are diametrically opposed to you having a happy life.
- brightball 4y agoAs a consultant, I am my employer. :)
- revolutukr 4y agoMe too. My boss is an asshole.
- CodeSgt 4y agoIt makes me sad that so many people seem incapable of understanding that you can both enjoy your job and be emotionally invested in the outcomes you produce while still living a healthy lifestyle. It makes me sad that so many people here and elsewhere are content to just spend a third of their day 5 times a week for something they don't care about and don't get excited over. Is that really "healthier"? I have a job where the code I write has a direct positive impact on the people the use our software. I enjoy seeing those positive outcomes. I enjoy seeing what my team and I created at the end of a hard sprint. There are certainly things I don't enjoy, as is the case with any job, but for the most part I feel good about how I spent those 8-9 hours at the end of the day.
- amelius 4y agoSo the "made with love" tagline should become "made with indifference"?
- NoGravitas 4y agoIt would generally be more accurate.
- yellowapple 4y agoOr possibly "made with contempt and bitterness".
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]