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I finally 'quiet quit' when I realized being a minority in tech means I'll never break the glass ceiling past senior engineer regardless of how hard I work or h

I finally 'quiet quit' when I realized being a minority in tech means I'll never break the glass ceiling past senior engineer regardless of how hard I work or how visibly I help. Even in school I was shoved into secretarial work until I finally convinced professors to let me work solo and would smoke entire groups. People for some reason think I am good enough to interview for lead or architect then seem surprised when I show up and saw "Ooo, hmm. I think you are a better fit for senior." or "Hmm. I think we'll hire you as a second or third hire instead" or when I am inside, I am told for years "you're up for a promotion". I am disregarded and mistreated, treated like a pariah. I thought if I worked hard enough, people will like me and see my value; a meritocracy! Nope. It's got nothing to do with actual skills and everything to do with who you are and who you schmooze. It's weird as fuck that they are interested and crawling over me until they talk to me as a person. I am doubtful it is my abilities. It's likely because I am autistic and a little eccentric (talk fast / ADHD & a little overwhelming to talk to if I am being honest). I am well-spoken and fairly clear to speak to, I actually give talks about my work. I just chalk it up to wanting a square when I am pretty clearly and happily a circle. I can either bury myself and personality to become a grey corporate square or I can shut my mouth and disregard the dudebros that seem to only promote fellow dudebros that ask me how to solve their problems then pretend they didn't.

blueflow 4y ago
I'm in a similar situation like you are, but i haven't attributed it to being eccentric or weird. It is because im not a low-friction person, in a social sense.
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commandlinefan 4y ago
> a minority in tech Curious how so... I've been in "tech" for 30 years and as a non-Indian U.S. citizen, I've always been in the "minority" of actual tech employees.
floor2 4y ago
I think you probably have some fundamental cause & effect arrows backwards here. Specifically, every single tech recruiter and tech executive is doing everything they can to increase the diversity of their company. The fact that you're getting interviews for lead or architect but then being assessed as a better fit for senior shows that you're actually getting preferential treatment in recruiting stage and opportunities that an otherwise identical non-minority candidate wouldn't have even been interviewed for. > It's weird as fuck that they are interested and crawling over me until they talk to me as a person That's not weird at all. That's incredibly common. That's a sign that your resume looks good, but you interview poorly. Maybe you're the "talented jerk" who they fear will negatively impact other employees. Maybe you overestimate your abilities. It's possible that the whole world is just out to get you and refuses to acknowledge your greatness. But it might be more likely that if many different groups of people have all been interested in you on paper but then you didn't meet expectations, that the common element here is how you interview and/or interact with others.
- workerthrow632 4y ago
  > That's a sign that your resume looks good, but you interview poorly. Yeah, exactly. If you're 'leaking' at one point, that's what you should focus on. I just don't think there is much more I can do without feeling I am being fake. I could _probably_ take ADHD meds and zone out a bit but certainly isn't great. I don't ever disclose any of this even to current employers. I don't think I come across as "talented jerk", I think I come across as probably more of a pushover than I actually am so that I don't veer into people thinking I am a "stuck up bitch" (to be quite blunt about my concern). I will consider other factors I can tweak that may give a better impression, but I do think I come across more as "eccentric fast talker who lives tech" than "buttoned up white collar" and that may be part of the problem; that I am trying the wrong kind of 'puzzle' and there is a company out there that does want my type. > But it might be more likely that if many different groups of people have all been interested in you on paper but then you didn't meet expectations This is likely what it is to be quite honest. It's that constant issue of "need experience to get experience". No one is willing to take a 'risk' on me being a principal or architect because I don't have on paper experience on that title despite doing that level of work. I have all the hallmarks: mentorship, well-written documentation, talks, open source work. The only really left to consider is: 1) I come across as insane, people see that, I don't, and they choose not to involve themselves. 2) They have pre-conceived notions of what someone of that 'tier' looks / acts / sounds like. I do understand that at that tier there is a concrete expectation of external communication but the weird part is I already do that anyway.
jld89 4y ago
I totally relate. Had the same experience in a pseudoFAANG digital giant.Except the autistic etc part...

blueflow 4y ago

I'm in a similar situation like you are, but i haven't attributed it to being eccentric or weird. It is because im not a low-friction person, in a social sense.

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commandlinefan 4y ago

> a minority in tech Curious how so... I've been in "tech" for 30 years and as a non-Indian U.S. citizen, I've always been in the "minority" of actual tech employees.

floor2 4y ago

I think you probably have some fundamental cause & effect arrows backwards here. Specifically, every single tech recruiter and tech executive is doing everything they can to increase the diversity of their company. The fact that you're getting interviews for lead or architect but then being assessed as a better fit for senior shows that you're actually getting preferential treatment in recruiting stage and opportunities that an otherwise identical non-minority candidate wouldn't have even been interviewed for. > It's weird as fuck that they are interested and crawling over me until they talk to me as a person That's not weird at all. That's incredibly common. That's a sign that your resume looks good, but you interview poorly. Maybe you're the "talented jerk" who they fear will negatively impact other employees. Maybe you overestimate your abilities. It's possible that the whole world is just out to get you and refuses to acknowledge your greatness. But it might be more likely that if many different groups of people have all been interested in you on paper but then you didn't meet expectations, that the common element here is how you interview and/or interact with others.

workerthrow632 4y ago
> That's a sign that your resume looks good, but you interview poorly. Yeah, exactly. If you're 'leaking' at one point, that's what you should focus on. I just don't think there is much more I can do without feeling I am being fake. I could _probably_ take ADHD meds and zone out a bit but certainly isn't great. I don't ever disclose any of this even to current employers. I don't think I come across as "talented jerk", I think I come across as probably more of a pushover than I actually am so that I don't veer into people thinking I am a "stuck up bitch" (to be quite blunt about my concern). I will consider other factors I can tweak that may give a better impression, but I do think I come across more as "eccentric fast talker who lives tech" than "buttoned up white collar" and that may be part of the problem; that I am trying the wrong kind of 'puzzle' and there is a company out there that does want my type. > But it might be more likely that if many different groups of people have all been interested in you on paper but then you didn't meet expectations This is likely what it is to be quite honest. It's that constant issue of "need experience to get experience". No one is willing to take a 'risk' on me being a principal or architect because I don't have on paper experience on that title despite doing that level of work. I have all the hallmarks: mentorship, well-written documentation, talks, open source work. The only really left to consider is: 1) I come across as insane, people see that, I don't, and they choose not to involve themselves. 2) They have pre-conceived notions of what someone of that 'tier' looks / acts / sounds like. I do understand that at that tier there is a concrete expectation of external communication but the weird part is I already do that anyway.

jld89 4y ago

I totally relate. Had the same experience in a pseudoFAANG digital giant.Except the autistic etc part...