3 ms·

It's a very strange narrative you have. You can't quit? yet you can't stop caring? Ok so, moving beyond the staggering premise, let's look at the source of the

by keyle 4y ago

It's a very strange narrative you have. You can't quit? yet you can't stop caring? Ok so, moving beyond the staggering premise, let's look at the source of the problem - answer the question: why do you care? - you care because you're invested - physically, man hours, mentally, emotionally, describe these and be honest with the situation. - you care because it defines you - it's your baby, it's your everything - I can't think of a third one Either case, you have to let go of it. Find a way of letting go. Work is work, therefor nothing should be personal. It's a transaction of work, effort, time against money. I know there is more to it, but imagine swapping job with someone random in the world for a day, that's that. Secondly, nothing is ever yours at work, it is property of some company, or an IP of an entity. You're far more than your work. The knowledge, the experience, the resilience, the care you have for it is irreplaceable and no one can take that away from you. As for actionable, try pretend you don't work there anymore. You're just on some retainer, some maintenance contract. Mentally check out of the nonsense of your colleagues, because, it's just that. Set up timers on your phone for breaks at brunch, lunch, afternoon tea and clock out time, follow by them as much as possible. Make work work for you and not the other way around. At the end of the day, you're replaceable, the work is just money and those dickwads aren't family. I'm being blunt but it sounds like you need a bit of that.

sethammons 4y ago
> I can't think of a third one Slight alteration on your "because you are invested," there can just be a sense of responsibility. I was at the DMV last week and I took over some front desk duties because it needed doing. There was only one front desk person with everyone else hidden behind partitions. They left for like 20 minutes and a line was getting crazy and people were confused and worried. I stood up got everyone's attention and repeating what I heard earlier, "Hey, I don't work here but I don't like this chaos. If you do not have an appointment, please wait in the line outside. If you do, please come over here and take a picture of this qr code to get your ticket number and look to the teleprompter to see when your number is called." People burst out smiling with relief and organized to take the qr pics. I was seen shorty thereafter.
still_grokking 4y ago
> - I can't think of a third one To help out on that: Try to understand how an INTJ personality works [e.g. 1, 2]. (The OP seems to be one judging by what was written here). Just imagine there are people who hate nothing more than "things that are wrong". But almost everything created by humans is very, very wrong, on all possible axes (that's actually the definition of "the human factor", imperfection). Also those people hate it when others tell them how to do things; especially as the people who think that they can tell others how to do something are almost anytime wrong anyway. (Most people are wrong with almost everything in life because most humans aren't able to think logically and just repeat something they saw somewhere without ever thinking about it; humans are apes, never forget). For an INTJ there is no option to "stop thinking" about the wrong things that surround them. There is only "fix it or die trying". For the OP this would mean that all that they can do is to leave the current place for one where things are less wrong. Otherwise the current situation could indeed kill them in the long run, or at least completely destroy their mental health (something that would take many years to fix again if even possible). (There is btw. a salient overlap between the percentages of occurrence and personal traits of INTJ personalities and personal traits associated with people on the autism spectrum, at least when it comes to the high-functioning "light" autism variants. Autistic people generally dislike "change". That could be the reason why it's so difficult for people with such personality traits to just leave a place that has obvious negative effects on them. But that's only my personal theory at the moment; never tried to investigate whether there is research that could confirm this relation). [1] https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality [2] https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTJ https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTJ

by keyle 4y ago

sethammons 4y ago

> I can't think of a third one Slight alteration on your "because you are invested," there can just be a sense of responsibility. I was at the DMV last week and I took over some front desk duties because it needed doing. There was only one front desk person with everyone else hidden behind partitions. They left for like 20 minutes and a line was getting crazy and people were confused and worried. I stood up got everyone's attention and repeating what I heard earlier, "Hey, I don't work here but I don't like this chaos. If you do not have an appointment, please wait in the line outside. If you do, please come over here and take a picture of this qr code to get your ticket number and look to the teleprompter to see when your number is called." People burst out smiling with relief and organized to take the qr pics. I was seen shorty thereafter.

still_grokking 4y ago

> - I can't think of a third one To help out on that: Try to understand how an INTJ personality works [e.g. 1, 2]. (The OP seems to be one judging by what was written here). Just imagine there are people who hate nothing more than "things that are wrong". But almost everything created by humans is very, very wrong, on all possible axes (that's actually the definition of "the human factor", imperfection). Also those people hate it when others tell them how to do things; especially as the people who think that they can tell others how to do something are almost anytime wrong anyway. (Most people are wrong with almost everything in life because most humans aren't able to think logically and just repeat something they saw somewhere without ever thinking about it; humans are apes, never forget). For an INTJ there is no option to "stop thinking" about the wrong things that surround them. There is only "fix it or die trying". For the OP this would mean that all that they can do is to leave the current place for one where things are less wrong. Otherwise the current situation could indeed kill them in the long run, or at least completely destroy their mental health (something that would take many years to fix again if even possible). (There is btw. a salient overlap between the percentages of occurrence and personal traits of INTJ personalities and personal traits associated with people on the autism spectrum, at least when it comes to the high-functioning "light" autism variants. Autistic people generally dislike "change". That could be the reason why it's so difficult for people with such personality traits to just leave a place that has obvious negative effects on them. But that's only my personal theory at the moment; never tried to investigate whether there is research that could confirm this relation). [1] https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality [2] https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTJ https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTJ