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> Anecdotally, I feel that experience; consequently, business tasks have become much harder. Interesting. My experience was the opposite. After the initial sle

> Anecdotally, I feel that experience; consequently, business tasks have become much harder. Interesting. My experience was the opposite. After the initial sleep deprivation, once our child was sleep trained, I achieved a new level of productivity in my life. Before children, I wasn't as focused. Now, I'm more efficient. The knowledge I have a break coming where I know I'll be giving my family my undivided attention helps motivate me through the day.

notch656a 4y ago
I became more productive, although less efficient. Kids really fuck with after-hours efficiency. There's always the knowledge that if I fail to maintain a job, it is statistically associated with divorce, and that divorce is statistically associated with child support, and that child support is statistically associated with prison and revocation of passport/property/licenses keep me going. If I fail to be productive enough I will be tossed in jail, that wasn't really the case before. But unlike some other people, I lived an exceedingly free (and low-cost) life before children, often just being homeless and hitch-hiking around the country, fighting for foreign militia, spending months living in forest or hiking trails, etc.
- glitchc 4y ago
  Sounds like a tough relationship. You’re more than a meal ticket, you know.
- Aeolun 4y ago
  Huh? I became much less productive, but much more efficient. Need to make the most of the two hours a day you have to yourself.
  - brnt 4y ago
    Where are you getting two hours a day for yourself? We have two hours a day between kid bed time and our own, and we spend it being exhausted or together (or else we'd be total strangers real soon). I'm happy to manage 2 hours a week.
    - Aeolun 4y ago
      After kids go to bed at 10’ish. We spend all the weekend together, the week is for me-time.
- cplusplusfellow 4y ago
  > if I fail to maintain a job, it is statistically associated with divorce But heaven forbid you expect your wife to keep up the pretenses set when you married her.
  - cplusplusfellow 4y ago
    The white knights in this thread downvoting me. Pathetic.
nerbert 4y ago
Same here. I feel like by having obligatory daily deadlines and processes imposed on me every day, together with the sleep deprivation, made me 200% more focused on what really matters, what is a good process, see what can be improved and what is the core of each task I'm trying to achieve (definition of done).
ska 4y ago
I think this isn’t really specific to having children - most people don’t become efficient until they have to. For many people the first time they have had strong enough time constraints is having children, but it might another family responsibility, a big outsidemof work commitment, or even a job or graduate degree in a high performance environment where you face sink or swim. Nothing generates focus like “I have this exact 45 minutes to do X this week, or it isn’t going to happen”. For good and Ill, I suppose .
seiferteric 4y ago
How do we know the sleep deprivation isn't the cause of the shrinkage? Not everyone's experience is the same, but ours was pretty bad for the first 6 months or so. Even now at 18 months we wake up usually once a night. I would not be surprised if this has an effect on my brain. That being said, I do feel my brain was "rewired" in a sense, that before I was not a baby person at all, but now I do really appreciate not just my baby but others.
- serf 4y ago
  >How do we know the sleep deprivation isn't the cause of the shrinkage? I think that's a valid question -- one likes to assume that it's some adaptability trait, but the reality is that it could just as well be evidence of sub-standard conditions facilitated by the scenario.
moltar 4y ago
Thank you for sharing. Exactly my experience as well. Laser focus post first child is in god mode.

notch656a 4y ago

I became more productive, although less efficient. Kids really fuck with after-hours efficiency. There's always the knowledge that if I fail to maintain a job, it is statistically associated with divorce, and that divorce is statistically associated with child support, and that child support is statistically associated with prison and revocation of passport/property/licenses keep me going. If I fail to be productive enough I will be tossed in jail, that wasn't really the case before. But unlike some other people, I lived an exceedingly free (and low-cost) life before children, often just being homeless and hitch-hiking around the country, fighting for foreign militia, spending months living in forest or hiking trails, etc.

glitchc 4y ago
Sounds like a tough relationship. You’re more than a meal ticket, you know.
Aeolun 4y ago
Huh? I became much less productive, but much more efficient. Need to make the most of the two hours a day you have to yourself.
- brnt 4y ago
  Where are you getting two hours a day for yourself? We have two hours a day between kid bed time and our own, and we spend it being exhausted or together (or else we'd be total strangers real soon). I'm happy to manage 2 hours a week.
  - Aeolun 4y ago
    After kids go to bed at 10’ish. We spend all the weekend together, the week is for me-time.
cplusplusfellow 4y ago
> if I fail to maintain a job, it is statistically associated with divorce But heaven forbid you expect your wife to keep up the pretenses set when you married her.
- cplusplusfellow 4y ago
  The white knights in this thread downvoting me. Pathetic.

nerbert 4y ago

Same here. I feel like by having obligatory daily deadlines and processes imposed on me every day, together with the sleep deprivation, made me 200% more focused on what really matters, what is a good process, see what can be improved and what is the core of each task I'm trying to achieve (definition of done).

ska 4y ago

I think this isn’t really specific to having children - most people don’t become efficient until they have to. For many people the first time they have had strong enough time constraints is having children, but it might another family responsibility, a big outsidemof work commitment, or even a job or graduate degree in a high performance environment where you face sink or swim. Nothing generates focus like “I have this exact 45 minutes to do X this week, or it isn’t going to happen”. For good and Ill, I suppose .

seiferteric 4y ago

How do we know the sleep deprivation isn't the cause of the shrinkage? Not everyone's experience is the same, but ours was pretty bad for the first 6 months or so. Even now at 18 months we wake up usually once a night. I would not be surprised if this has an effect on my brain. That being said, I do feel my brain was "rewired" in a sense, that before I was not a baby person at all, but now I do really appreciate not just my baby but others.

serf 4y ago
>How do we know the sleep deprivation isn't the cause of the shrinkage? I think that's a valid question -- one likes to assume that it's some adaptability trait, but the reality is that it could just as well be evidence of sub-standard conditions facilitated by the scenario.

moltar 4y ago

Thank you for sharing. Exactly my experience as well. Laser focus post first child is in god mode.