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Reminds me of The Oatmeal's article on being happily unhappy [1]. I think I'm pretty similar. I'm also 30, live alone, long distance from all of my family and

by idrios 4y ago

Reminds me of The Oatmeal's article on being happily unhappy [1]. I think I'm pretty similar. I'm also 30, live alone, long distance from all of my family and most of my friends -- but I'm very close with my friends despite that, and most are the same or similar to me. And while I enjoy being around them, I still crave my freedom and am very proud of my current identity as someone who paves his own path. And I also despise my lifestyle at times too. I read a comment recently that resonated a lot too, that socializing is a muscle you need to exercise like any other. I think it was always hard to make friends in your 30's but the recent pandemic has had a lasting effect on our culture, where so many people made themselves comfortable at home in online communities that now it's hard to make friends in your 20's too. But I'd still suggest trying to find a meetup group (board games are always fun!) or a volunteer group (foodbanks are everywhere) and socialize because it's good exercise. [1] https://theoatmeal.com/comics/unhappy https://theoatmeal.com/comics/unhappy

worldsayshi 4y ago
I agree that socialization is sort of a muscle. Meetups and similar does work to some degree. Although I think there is a certain feeling of community that can only really be achieved by living for a while with other people. For anyone who can take time off I can recommend going sailing on a tall ship for a few weeks. Don't expect yourself to become a social butterfly. Just living the experience of doing something with a flock for a while can be quite meaningful. Workaway.info or wwoof:ing might also be things to look up.
- gilmore606 4y ago
  > I can recommend going sailing on a tall ship for a few weeks I am very intrigued. How can a person do this?
  - worldsayshi 4y ago
    I think it varies a lot between ships. I have a big ship that has (had) home harbor in my town. I just applied on their website. Just go and search for tall ships near where you live and see what their arrangements are. Some are school ships that might only accept certain ages. Some might mostly do short trips. But some do long expeditions and need a lot of volunteers. I went sailing on the ship Götheborg[1] which is currently doing an expedition from Sweden to East Asia, although it will pause for winter in the Mediterranean soon. Their only hard requirement is that you're 18+ and fit to climb a rig. It also doesn't have to be tall ships. There are plenty of smaller ships looking for crew. Haven't tried that myself but I've heard someone using some site called crew finder. There seems to plenty of such sites though. 1 - https://www.gotheborg.se/ https://www.gotheborg.se/

by idrios 4y ago

worldsayshi 4y ago

I agree that socialization is sort of a muscle. Meetups and similar does work to some degree. Although I think there is a certain feeling of community that can only really be achieved by living for a while with other people. For anyone who can take time off I can recommend going sailing on a tall ship for a few weeks. Don't expect yourself to become a social butterfly. Just living the experience of doing something with a flock for a while can be quite meaningful. Workaway.info or wwoof:ing might also be things to look up.

gilmore606 4y ago
> I can recommend going sailing on a tall ship for a few weeks I am very intrigued. How can a person do this?
- worldsayshi 4y ago
  I think it varies a lot between ships. I have a big ship that has (had) home harbor in my town. I just applied on their website. Just go and search for tall ships near where you live and see what their arrangements are. Some are school ships that might only accept certain ages. Some might mostly do short trips. But some do long expeditions and need a lot of volunteers. I went sailing on the ship Götheborg[1] which is currently doing an expedition from Sweden to East Asia, although it will pause for winter in the Mediterranean soon. Their only hard requirement is that you're 18+ and fit to climb a rig. It also doesn't have to be tall ships. There are plenty of smaller ships looking for crew. Haven't tried that myself but I've heard someone using some site called crew finder. There seems to plenty of such sites though. 1 - https://www.gotheborg.se/ https://www.gotheborg.se/