4 ms·

Even if they don't fire you, saying no (to anything, ever) will come back to bite you when performance reviews (and raises and bonuses and stock grants) come ar

Even if they don't fire you, saying no (to anything, ever) will come back to bite you when performance reviews (and raises and bonuses and stock grants) come around. OP is falling into the common internet commenter trap of assuming that the way the world should work is the way the world does work. Maya Angelou has a quote that's supposed to be inspirational but is actually depressing as hell: "People will forget what you did, people will forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel." Want to actually succeed in the actual real world and not the fantasy world internet commenters exist in? Focus on making people feel, not on results. If you say "no", they'll remember you made them feel like the person who turned them away when they needed you most. If you just say yes to everything and get to what you can get to, you'll make them feel like the person who tried their best. Until all of civilization starts rewarding actual results over vague feelings (it never has), focus on appearances.

baq 4y ago
so, say "no", but be polite about it. if somebody is butthurt because you refused to take on more than you are able to... that's a bad spot to be in no matter if you refuse or not.
- tshaddox 4y ago
  > if somebody is butthurt because you refused to take on more than you are able to... that's a bad spot to be in no matter if you refuse or not. Okay, but…if you work a job not for fun but because you need the money, then you’re still better off in the bad spot with a job than the bad spot without a job.
  - Aeolun 4y ago
    You may be better off without a job where you are managed by a 5 year old. I can understand if this is the first time it happens, but some people still complain about this after 5 years of dealing with the same thing. At that point it’s their own fault.
    - tshaddox 4y ago
      > You may be better off without a job where you are managed by a 5 year old. If you happen to have access to free food, shelter, etc. and were only holding a job for fun, then sure!
      - bluefirebrand 4y ago
        It isn't that hard to interview and find another job while still working.
notduncansmith 4y ago
It might feel short-term good to have someone say yes, but when they don’t fulfill their agreement that leaves a more long-term feeling that their answers in the future will be unreliable (“Yeah, X told me they’ll do it soon, we’ll see if they actually do…”). Communicating honestly (“If we need that done today, we have to deprioritize something else to make time”) will get you further unless you’re dealing with very immature management.
Buttons840 4y ago
An "underperforming" worker can consistently underperform though, and that consistency might make people feel good. Ultimately you're right on a deep level, but perhaps there are other ways to produce good feelings than what you've suggested. The recency of the good feelings matters too. If you push back now and set expectations for everyone, then a year from now your boss will probably remember the consistency more than the push-back. Of course, it will depend on the people involved.
nisegami 4y ago
This reminds me of the idea that most people's actual job is to make/keep their boss happy, and what they think of as their job is just a means to that end.
driverdan 4y ago
> saying no (to anything, ever) will come back to bite you when performance reviews (and raises and bonuses and stock grants) come around Any employer that does this is toxic. You should find a new place to work. One of the hardest and most important professional soft skills is knowing when to say no and setting proper boundaries.

baq 4y ago

so, say "no", but be polite about it. if somebody is butthurt because you refused to take on more than you are able to... that's a bad spot to be in no matter if you refuse or not.

tshaddox 4y ago
> if somebody is butthurt because you refused to take on more than you are able to... that's a bad spot to be in no matter if you refuse or not. Okay, but…if you work a job not for fun but because you need the money, then you’re still better off in the bad spot with a job than the bad spot without a job.
- Aeolun 4y ago
  You may be better off without a job where you are managed by a 5 year old. I can understand if this is the first time it happens, but some people still complain about this after 5 years of dealing with the same thing. At that point it’s their own fault.
  - tshaddox 4y ago
    > You may be better off without a job where you are managed by a 5 year old. If you happen to have access to free food, shelter, etc. and were only holding a job for fun, then sure!
    - bluefirebrand 4y ago
      It isn't that hard to interview and find another job while still working.

notduncansmith 4y ago

It might feel short-term good to have someone say yes, but when they don’t fulfill their agreement that leaves a more long-term feeling that their answers in the future will be unreliable (“Yeah, X told me they’ll do it soon, we’ll see if they actually do…”). Communicating honestly (“If we need that done today, we have to deprioritize something else to make time”) will get you further unless you’re dealing with very immature management.

Buttons840 4y ago

An "underperforming" worker can consistently underperform though, and that consistency might make people feel good. Ultimately you're right on a deep level, but perhaps there are other ways to produce good feelings than what you've suggested. The recency of the good feelings matters too. If you push back now and set expectations for everyone, then a year from now your boss will probably remember the consistency more than the push-back. Of course, it will depend on the people involved.

nisegami 4y ago

This reminds me of the idea that most people's actual job is to make/keep their boss happy, and what they think of as their job is just a means to that end.

driverdan 4y ago

> saying no (to anything, ever) will come back to bite you when performance reviews (and raises and bonuses and stock grants) come around Any employer that does this is toxic. You should find a new place to work. One of the hardest and most important professional soft skills is knowing when to say no and setting proper boundaries.