5 ms·

> It’s no wonder so many kids think they have mental disorders or any of the other mind viruses going around. Every older generation has said this about the in

> It’s no wonder so many kids think they have mental disorders or any of the other mind viruses going around. Every older generation has said this about the incoming generation - without fail. I'll take the flip side. There are so many great social medias about loving yourself, loving your kids, crying is okay for dudes, and men don't have to be a certain way (i'm a dude). It's okay not to know how to change your oil or shoot a gun, better to hug someone, allowed/proud to be gay, black, etc etc.

api 4y ago
I guess how it turns out for your kids will depend on which rabbit hole the social media algorithm stuffs them down.
raxxorraxor 4y ago
I sympathize with everyone who looks at tiktok and starts to cry. That said I think this "you are allowed to show feelings" is extremely out of place and out of time. And not good general advice at all. You should not show your feelings to just anyone. You should have self worth and share with those you trust. There is a reason why PR exists for people in the public sphere. Most people will treat you kindly and it is important to remember that, but a good lesson for the internet would be to be keenly aware of the pitfalls of sharing too much and that includes your feelings very often.
- watwut 4y ago
  Why is being visibly sad or happy something that should lower your self worth?
  - aliqot 4y ago
    Shows a lack of self control
    - actionablefiber 4y ago
      That implies that the inverse, bottling up your feelings, demonstrates self-control, and that self-control is always a desirable trait. I disagree with both. Expressing your feelings is a part of good communication, and feeling free to express sadness or frustration as needed is how you stave off the kinds of arguments and blowups that have much more severe consequences.
      - aliqot 4y ago
        Moderating your own behavior is about being cognizant of your emotions and the associated causes/effects, not ignoring them.
    - watwut 4y ago
      Why would self control require pretending you don't have emotions? If you are being aggressive, then yes, you are lacking self control. But that is act, not emotion.
      - aliqot 4y ago
        Self control is assimilating those emotions in a healthy way to understand the root cause rather than letting them overflow from mental->physical in inappropriate settings. This is a cornerstone of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is, in short, "I am free to notice that when this happens, I feel this certain way, and that usually relates to these outcomes. How can my behavior influence this in my favor?"
        watwut 4y ago
        Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is not trying to teach you to hide all emotions the way comment I reacted to suggested. You being visibly sad is fine result. There is big gap between overflow and notion that "you are allowed to show feelings" is something bad.
- mcphage 4y ago
  > That said I think this "you are allowed to show feelings" is extremely out of place and out of time. And not good general advice at all. You should not show your feelings to just anyone. The alternate that "you are allowed to show your feelings" is trying to combat, is the idea that you can't show your feelings to anyone, at any time. So your advice is correct, but nowhere near the issue yet. You're telling people when to shift into fourth gear, when they're struggling to get out of first.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
swat535 4y ago
I'm not sure what you are trying to convey here. Changing oil and car tires, shooting a gun, fishing and performing basic repairs critical life skills that everyone should learn. If you are an adult male and can't complete some of the most basic tasks without help, you will have a difficult time living on your own. Loving yourself, being "proud" of homosexuality (I find this rather odd; why make your "sexuality" your core identity?) and knowing how to navigate the world are not mutually exclusive.

api 4y ago

I guess how it turns out for your kids will depend on which rabbit hole the social media algorithm stuffs them down.

raxxorraxor 4y ago

I sympathize with everyone who looks at tiktok and starts to cry. That said I think this "you are allowed to show feelings" is extremely out of place and out of time. And not good general advice at all. You should not show your feelings to just anyone. You should have self worth and share with those you trust. There is a reason why PR exists for people in the public sphere. Most people will treat you kindly and it is important to remember that, but a good lesson for the internet would be to be keenly aware of the pitfalls of sharing too much and that includes your feelings very often.

watwut 4y ago
Why is being visibly sad or happy something that should lower your self worth?
- aliqot 4y ago
  Shows a lack of self control
  - actionablefiber 4y ago
    That implies that the inverse, bottling up your feelings, demonstrates self-control, and that self-control is always a desirable trait. I disagree with both. Expressing your feelings is a part of good communication, and feeling free to express sadness or frustration as needed is how you stave off the kinds of arguments and blowups that have much more severe consequences.
    - aliqot 4y ago
      Moderating your own behavior is about being cognizant of your emotions and the associated causes/effects, not ignoring them.
  - watwut 4y ago
    Why would self control require pretending you don't have emotions? If you are being aggressive, then yes, you are lacking self control. But that is act, not emotion.
    - aliqot 4y ago
      Self control is assimilating those emotions in a healthy way to understand the root cause rather than letting them overflow from mental->physical in inappropriate settings. This is a cornerstone of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is, in short, "I am free to notice that when this happens, I feel this certain way, and that usually relates to these outcomes. How can my behavior influence this in my favor?"
      - watwut 4y ago
        Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is not trying to teach you to hide all emotions the way comment I reacted to suggested. You being visibly sad is fine result. There is big gap between overflow and notion that "you are allowed to show feelings" is something bad.
mcphage 4y ago
> That said I think this "you are allowed to show feelings" is extremely out of place and out of time. And not good general advice at all. You should not show your feelings to just anyone. The alternate that "you are allowed to show your feelings" is trying to combat, is the idea that you can't show your feelings to anyone, at any time. So your advice is correct, but nowhere near the issue yet. You're telling people when to shift into fourth gear, when they're struggling to get out of first.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

swat535 4y ago

I'm not sure what you are trying to convey here. Changing oil and car tires, shooting a gun, fishing and performing basic repairs critical life skills that everyone should learn. If you are an adult male and can't complete some of the most basic tasks without help, you will have a difficult time living on your own. Loving yourself, being "proud" of homosexuality (I find this rather odd; why make your "sexuality" your core identity?) and knowing how to navigate the world are not mutually exclusive.