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Maybe your success, and all the repliers', is simply a matter of getting life served on a silver plate e.g. everybody going to university comp science, good bac

Maybe your success, and all the repliers', is simply a matter of getting life served on a silver plate e.g. everybody going to university comp science, good backgrounds, getting very good jobs. Of course you can't live with that privilege and have to build a story of being the victim of society.

sosodev 4y ago
What? I had very little growing up. When I left home I had one suitcase, a small box, and nothing else. My abusers never gave me anything. I didn’t go straight to university but was instead a transfer student from community college. Sorry to burst your bubble but I was most certainly a victim of circumstance. I can assure you that as a child I did not put myself in that situation.
germinalphrase 4y ago
I have taught high school English for quite a while. I've taught in poor rural, mixed-income urban and wealthy suburban districts. CPTSD is not a casual thing that comes about due to typical childhood difficulties, and wealthy parents can plow a bunch of resources into raising their kids while simultaneously damaging them in lifelong ways.
s1artibartfast 4y ago
I'm sure there's some of that in a society that has turned victimhood into a virtue and a competition. The reality is that victimhood rarely makes people better, and usually makes them worse humans overall. The best solution is to stop congratulating people based on how much they have suffered.
synu 4y ago
I am one of the replies. My parents were poor (they had me when they were both 18), and my father used drugs. He kidnapped me and my brother from my mom when I was 3 and we went on the run. He wasn’t able to keep a job because we kept having to move when the people looking for us got close. My brother and I suffered neglect, and my dad even took out loans using my brothers social security number. He died when I was 15 and I went into a foster home from there. I dropped out of high school and got my GED so I could start working. I was lucky to have found a job at a computer store fixing computers. I managed to parlay that into a career in computers without having to go to college, which I never would have been able to afford anyway. So unless I’m missing something (please let me know) there was no life served on a silver plate here. We used to get food and second hand clothes donated from churches, but I have to imagine that doesn’t count. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend to anyone to go through all that to get a career. There wasn’t any “victim dividend” I received (once I started working, nobody really knew my situation at all, much less gave special treatment), and I don’t think it’s a repeatable path to success. At the same time, there are people with similar stories who used that adversity to drive themselves to ensure they don’t go back there. I spend a lot of time now making sure I have stable financial plans A, B, C, and D, and I recognize they are probably overkill. Many people would have probably started coasting some time ago. But I’m too anxious about it to do that, so I keep working on more stability, which to the outside just looks like ambition.

sosodev 4y ago

What? I had very little growing up. When I left home I had one suitcase, a small box, and nothing else. My abusers never gave me anything. I didn’t go straight to university but was instead a transfer student from community college. Sorry to burst your bubble but I was most certainly a victim of circumstance. I can assure you that as a child I did not put myself in that situation.

germinalphrase 4y ago

I have taught high school English for quite a while. I've taught in poor rural, mixed-income urban and wealthy suburban districts. CPTSD is not a casual thing that comes about due to typical childhood difficulties, and wealthy parents can plow a bunch of resources into raising their kids while simultaneously damaging them in lifelong ways.

s1artibartfast 4y ago

I'm sure there's some of that in a society that has turned victimhood into a virtue and a competition. The reality is that victimhood rarely makes people better, and usually makes them worse humans overall. The best solution is to stop congratulating people based on how much they have suffered.

synu 4y ago

I am one of the replies. My parents were poor (they had me when they were both 18), and my father used drugs. He kidnapped me and my brother from my mom when I was 3 and we went on the run. He wasn’t able to keep a job because we kept having to move when the people looking for us got close. My brother and I suffered neglect, and my dad even took out loans using my brothers social security number. He died when I was 15 and I went into a foster home from there. I dropped out of high school and got my GED so I could start working. I was lucky to have found a job at a computer store fixing computers. I managed to parlay that into a career in computers without having to go to college, which I never would have been able to afford anyway. So unless I’m missing something (please let me know) there was no life served on a silver plate here. We used to get food and second hand clothes donated from churches, but I have to imagine that doesn’t count. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend to anyone to go through all that to get a career. There wasn’t any “victim dividend” I received (once I started working, nobody really knew my situation at all, much less gave special treatment), and I don’t think it’s a repeatable path to success. At the same time, there are people with similar stories who used that adversity to drive themselves to ensure they don’t go back there. I spend a lot of time now making sure I have stable financial plans A, B, C, and D, and I recognize they are probably overkill. Many people would have probably started coasting some time ago. But I’m too anxious about it to do that, so I keep working on more stability, which to the outside just looks like ambition.