3 ms·

I used to backup all family photos taken by my wife/kids to my NAS until one day I browsed the gallery looking for something and found a nude full frontal my da

I used to backup all family photos taken by my wife/kids to my NAS until one day I browsed the gallery looking for something and found a nude full frontal my daughter (17) received from her boyfriend. I said nothing - stopped the archiving and deleted everything except for my own photos. They deserve their privacy and do whatever on their devices without snooping - if we go away on vacation I now ask them if they want to share any pics they want so I can keep it. Apple is turning out to be big brother.

teekert 4y ago
I think you did the right thing. But still, I think it could also be used as moment for education. For the boyfriend: “You have 0 control over where the image ends up when you send it to someone, perhaps even before you send it.” For the Daughter: “You are in possession of nude material from a minor. This carries some risk, you should be aware of it.” But I get the struggle, I also turned of logging in my AdGuard home instance, at least for my wife’s phone. But it was also a lesson for her when I jokingly told here the website she was on right now… The ISP and Google probably know this too. And, I can find it in my Router without AdGuard, and that Router can be hacked. It’s also a good time for education imho. Modern tech is so interesting. When I can’t get a hold of my wife I sometimes find myself checking the hallway’s motion sensor, seeing it just registered movement, the unify network reports to Home Assistant that indeed her phone is connected right now. Ah, gas usage, bathroom lighting and moisture sensors indicate she’s taking a shower (boy it seems to be a long one, 0.4 m3 of gas!). I’ll just wait 10 min and if she doesn’t pick up I’ll flash some lights or let the Sonos speak: “Pick up your Phone”. Yeah it’s pretty creepy but sometimes I don’t even think about it… But writing it down like this I could write a “state” sensor for my wife that could, with high probability, tell me what she’s doing and log it.
- tibbydudeza 4y ago
  We had that talk about the Internet with my kids due to some incidents at school and that made the news but fortunately NOT (oops corrected) involving them - racist remarks on Facebook - oversharing of details - stalking - posting bikini photos on Insta - accepting friend requests from only people they know - privacy settings - cover your laptop camera - don't click links you receive - spam - the usual. Friends of ours came to me how to deal with nude photos taken by their underage daughter sent to her boyfriend - told them to contact the parents and go to his house immediately - watch him in the act of deleting the photos. Fortunately he was not stupid to share it with his mates. Also told them kids do stuff without thinking through the consequences and not to be too hard on them - think she only lost phone privilege's for a week. I do have a IP camera in the house but it is angled and to watch our parrot when he is on top his cage and alert us if he decides to take a walk.
- matwood 4y ago
  There's a saying 'don't count the condoms in the box.' You're going to drive yourself nuts if you don't trust your partner.
dereg 4y ago
"Big brother" is not what's happening here. At no point does Apple inform a parent if their child is sending or receiving nude photos. It merely provides a prompt that gives them the bare minimum information to understand the decision they're about to make. Microsoft Outlook sends me a prompt when I forget to attach something to an email. Something like "Hey it looks like you forgot to add an attachment, would you like to proceed?" The prompt gives me two choices, cancel or send anyway. Similarly to the nudity check, Microsoft scans the content of your email to understand if you intended to send an email with an attachment or not. Would you consider this to be "big brother"? This isn't just a feature for children. Adults can turn this feature on to prevent themself from ever accidentally sending nude pics.
- hef19898 4y ago
  Checking for the presence of contebt is compketely different from checking and reading of said content.
  - dereg 4y ago
    In this case, it's exactly the same. Microsoft (and Google) is reading the content of your email, searching for words or phrases that may hint to the fact that a file should be attached. If it believes that you're erroneously sending an email without an attachment, it'll send you a confirmation prompt.
    - hef19898 4y ago
      I never saw it that way... But you are right, how would Outlook know that I want to send an attechment without reading my email in the first place. Still hope Outlook isn't reading the attachment so...
  - tibbydudeza 4y ago
    I presume they use that Microsoft technology to check for presence of too much skin tones in the shape of a human body ???. The problem is if the ML flags something and forward it to a human (even anonymized) to decide on for quality control purposes - that is why Alexa,Google and Apple smart speakers are banned in my house. I only allow dumb bluetooth speakers.
agilob 4y ago
>I said nothing I think she deserves to know it leaked outside of her assumed "comfort zone"
- tibbydudeza 4y ago
  Let sleeping dogs lie and she is now 22. There was no malice intended by me and I learned a life lesson regarding privacy - I expected for myself but did not even think about granting the same to my kids. So I don't log internet activity - no net nannies - just use Unifi WiFi to make sure bandwidth is distributed fairly to all devices and to block spam/ads via Piehole.
  - ziml77 4y ago
    You made the right choice to not say a word about it. Absolutely nothing good would have come from telling her. And it's wonderful that you learned a lesson about the privacy of your children. I'm positive there are many parents who would have freaked out and gone further in violating their child's privacy and autonomy.
fastball 4y ago
Doesn't this check only happen on the user's device?
jkubicek 4y ago
I assume that you don't have parental controls turned on for your 17 year old child, so she would be unaffected by this feature.

teekert 4y ago

I think you did the right thing. But still, I think it could also be used as moment for education. For the boyfriend: “You have 0 control over where the image ends up when you send it to someone, perhaps even before you send it.” For the Daughter: “You are in possession of nude material from a minor. This carries some risk, you should be aware of it.” But I get the struggle, I also turned of logging in my AdGuard home instance, at least for my wife’s phone. But it was also a lesson for her when I jokingly told here the website she was on right now… The ISP and Google probably know this too. And, I can find it in my Router without AdGuard, and that Router can be hacked. It’s also a good time for education imho. Modern tech is so interesting. When I can’t get a hold of my wife I sometimes find myself checking the hallway’s motion sensor, seeing it just registered movement, the unify network reports to Home Assistant that indeed her phone is connected right now. Ah, gas usage, bathroom lighting and moisture sensors indicate she’s taking a shower (boy it seems to be a long one, 0.4 m3 of gas!). I’ll just wait 10 min and if she doesn’t pick up I’ll flash some lights or let the Sonos speak: “Pick up your Phone”. Yeah it’s pretty creepy but sometimes I don’t even think about it… But writing it down like this I could write a “state” sensor for my wife that could, with high probability, tell me what she’s doing and log it.

tibbydudeza 4y ago
We had that talk about the Internet with my kids due to some incidents at school and that made the news but fortunately NOT (oops corrected) involving them - racist remarks on Facebook - oversharing of details - stalking - posting bikini photos on Insta - accepting friend requests from only people they know - privacy settings - cover your laptop camera - don't click links you receive - spam - the usual. Friends of ours came to me how to deal with nude photos taken by their underage daughter sent to her boyfriend - told them to contact the parents and go to his house immediately - watch him in the act of deleting the photos. Fortunately he was not stupid to share it with his mates. Also told them kids do stuff without thinking through the consequences and not to be too hard on them - think she only lost phone privilege's for a week. I do have a IP camera in the house but it is angled and to watch our parrot when he is on top his cage and alert us if he decides to take a walk.
matwood 4y ago
There's a saying 'don't count the condoms in the box.' You're going to drive yourself nuts if you don't trust your partner.

dereg 4y ago

"Big brother" is not what's happening here. At no point does Apple inform a parent if their child is sending or receiving nude photos. It merely provides a prompt that gives them the bare minimum information to understand the decision they're about to make. Microsoft Outlook sends me a prompt when I forget to attach something to an email. Something like "Hey it looks like you forgot to add an attachment, would you like to proceed?" The prompt gives me two choices, cancel or send anyway. Similarly to the nudity check, Microsoft scans the content of your email to understand if you intended to send an email with an attachment or not. Would you consider this to be "big brother"? This isn't just a feature for children. Adults can turn this feature on to prevent themself from ever accidentally sending nude pics.

hef19898 4y ago
Checking for the presence of contebt is compketely different from checking and reading of said content.
- dereg 4y ago
  In this case, it's exactly the same. Microsoft (and Google) is reading the content of your email, searching for words or phrases that may hint to the fact that a file should be attached. If it believes that you're erroneously sending an email without an attachment, it'll send you a confirmation prompt.
  - hef19898 4y ago
    I never saw it that way... But you are right, how would Outlook know that I want to send an attechment without reading my email in the first place. Still hope Outlook isn't reading the attachment so...
- tibbydudeza 4y ago
  I presume they use that Microsoft technology to check for presence of too much skin tones in the shape of a human body ???. The problem is if the ML flags something and forward it to a human (even anonymized) to decide on for quality control purposes - that is why Alexa,Google and Apple smart speakers are banned in my house. I only allow dumb bluetooth speakers.

agilob 4y ago

>I said nothing I think she deserves to know it leaked outside of her assumed "comfort zone"

tibbydudeza 4y ago
Let sleeping dogs lie and she is now 22. There was no malice intended by me and I learned a life lesson regarding privacy - I expected for myself but did not even think about granting the same to my kids. So I don't log internet activity - no net nannies - just use Unifi WiFi to make sure bandwidth is distributed fairly to all devices and to block spam/ads via Piehole.
- ziml77 4y ago
  You made the right choice to not say a word about it. Absolutely nothing good would have come from telling her. And it's wonderful that you learned a lesson about the privacy of your children. I'm positive there are many parents who would have freaked out and gone further in violating their child's privacy and autonomy.

fastball 4y ago

Doesn't this check only happen on the user's device?

jkubicek 4y ago

I assume that you don't have parental controls turned on for your 17 year old child, so she would be unaffected by this feature.