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> It's difficult because it's very infectious and it's extremely stressful to everyone who doesn't fit in with the expectations. Not only that, but it can bree
by thr0wawayf00 4y ago
> It's difficult because it's very infectious and it's extremely stressful to everyone who doesn't fit in with the expectations.
Not only that, but it can breed a culture of toxic behavior towards those that don't meet expectations. I was new at a company that was extremely proud of its culture of support and collaboration, blah blah blah. I get pulled into a meeting with an architect who was not in my chain of command who ambushed me by telling me that he thought I wasn't good enough to work there and I should be concerned about my job status. I was floored.
The worst part was that he was universally beloved within the company, he had incredible charm that he could turn on whenever he wanted to, the dude was a straight up narcissist.
Long story short, I reported him and nothing really happened. He was on my team so I had to see him every day, and I wound up leaving shortly after. Abusers like that hide in plain sight and writing rah rah pieces how amazing a culture is is what makes it harder to find them.
- listenallyall 4y agoI'm sorry to tell you I don't see what is so toxic about this. Are we just supposed to assume you're some excellent employee? Perhaps he's beloved because he is honest, direct, and puts the company's interests (and those of the employees who built that positive culture) first.
- flashgordon 4y agoCome on there is nothing untoxic about telling a newcomer they don't belong. At best this person may not have ramped up at the same speed. There are much better ways of giving this feedback instead of being hostile no? What you now want this new employee to walk in eggshells from this moment onwards?
- listenallyall 4y agoYea, no. Been in numerous situations where it was painfully obvious, within a week, that a certain individual was fundamentally a poor fit. It's not that they are bad people or incapable of any good work, just not in the role or company they were hired into. Sometimes it's better to sever ties quickly, than have the employee remain miserable trying to make it work at a company he or she will never sync up with, and the existing team losing steam and getting frustrated as it is dragged down.
- thr0wawayf00 4y agoThis individual was not in my chain of command. If you're not my boss, then you have no right to threaten my job status as a coworker. That is fundamentally abusive and manipulative and is textbook harassment meant to intimidate and cause fear. There's nothing constructive about it.
- flashgordon 4y agoI am struggling to picture this - there is no indication this Architect was the person's manager. The manager is the one who should be the one giving feedback based on observation and evidence and not just gut feel. Onboarding takes time - especially at bigcos the stack is so inhouse and complex no way even the most senior person (this person didtn seem so) takes atleast O(weeks) if not O(months). Even if the architect had some authority (and evidence) to provide feedback this just looks like a prison ritual of intimidation/hazing. How is this acceptable? Also (and the OP could be hiding info) there doesnt seem to be any indication of this being a cultural issue - unless the OP did something so in-your-face illegal/offensive. Again the point is not to dissect what the OP did/did not do but really - what happened to welcoming and being kind to your colleagues?
- listenallyall 4y agoI'd just say there are two sides to every story, and we've only heard one, vaguely. I'm not saying the architect guy was definitely right or justified, but, having seen various workplace conflicts, I'm not going to automatically condemn him or the company based on the OP's version of the story only.
- kasey_junk 4y agoIf someone is not a good fit it’s their managers job to fix the issue. Professionally and without impugning someone’s abilities. Telling someone that they aren’t good enough to work at a company is a level of unprofessional that puts the whole company in question. If they put someone that bad in a position of responsibility the most likely scenario is the company is a clown car. If you think you can tell someone that you are most likely a clown.
- bpicolo 4y agoTelling someone they aren't good enough to work at <x> is never appropriate framing. A good leader can help people see opportunities to grow and show them their pitfalls without framing it as something fundamental to the person
- spoonjim 4y agoIf it’s unfixable, the person should be fired (by their boss). If it’s fixable, they should be explained why and how (by their boss).
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]