4 ms·

It's a crazy question. Obviously she has just given birth. Why would we brainwash women into think they account to nothing if they don't ALSO have a "career"?

by karol 4y ago

shrimp_emoji 4y ago
Why would we brainwash people into thinking women amount to something just because they "spawn"?
- throw__away7391 4y ago
  I didn't get that implication from the OP. The author has just given birth and is raising her kids is feeling social pressure to demonstrate her value to her peers. (Side note, this only occurs in more affluent circles. A working class mother talking to her friend would feel no such insecurities.) She seems to resolve this conflict in her head not by realizing that the premise is wrong, but by "giving herself some slack" until she can get back and make some career accomplishment to restore her sense of value. Ultimately we all choose the yardstick we measure ourselves with, and for the most part if you have confidence in your choice, other people will actually accept whatever we've chosen most of the time. This kind of unhappiness the author is experiences comes from being unable to break free from the perceived expectations placed on her. The solution is to form your own expectations of yourself and try to live up to them, but many people it seems do not have the courage to do this on their own, so instead they join in with whatever the current zeitgeist says the new set of expectations on everyone should be, as if simply changing them will be their solution as well. These new expectations once they take hold, however, will simply be tomorrow's tools of oppression of the individual, no different from those that exist today. I think this ends up inevitably for many people being a very sad way to spend your life unless you happen to fit into and have the life circumstances to support fitting the model. Even if you do, you'll do so without ownership and agency in the choice of what you're going to do with your life.
  - fairity 4y ago
    > This kind of unhappiness the author is experiences comes from being unable to break free from the perceived expectations placed on her. The solution is to form your own expectations of yourself and try to live up to them, but many people it seems do not have the courage to do this on their own. Mostly agree with this, but I wonder if a lack of “courage” is what’s actually preventing most from breaking free of societal values. It seems more like a lack of introspection and discipline. Introspection to identify the root cause of dissatisfaction, and discipline to retrain your mind.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
- kaashif 4y ago
  Even if you don't think it's true that "spawning" is an achievement in and of itself, I think it benefits you that others do "spawn". If you society discouraged having children strongly enough, it would collapse. An aged population with no workers or innovators isn't a recipe for success. This is a literal response to your question as to why it's good that people think reproducing is an achievement, I'm not talking about whether it actually is or isn't.
- 42e6e8c8-f7b8-4 4y ago
  Why would we brainwash people into thinking they amount to something just because they make moaaaar widgets?

It's a crazy question. Obviously she has just given birth. Why would we brainwash women into think they account to nothing if they don't ALSO have a "career"?

by karol 4y ago

It's a crazy question. Obviously she has just given birth. Why would we brainwash women into think they account to nothing if they don't ALSO have a "career"?

shrimp_emoji 4y ago

Why would we brainwash people into thinking women amount to something just because they "spawn"?

throw__away7391 4y ago
I didn't get that implication from the OP. The author has just given birth and is raising her kids is feeling social pressure to demonstrate her value to her peers. (Side note, this only occurs in more affluent circles. A working class mother talking to her friend would feel no such insecurities.) She seems to resolve this conflict in her head not by realizing that the premise is wrong, but by "giving herself some slack" until she can get back and make some career accomplishment to restore her sense of value. Ultimately we all choose the yardstick we measure ourselves with, and for the most part if you have confidence in your choice, other people will actually accept whatever we've chosen most of the time. This kind of unhappiness the author is experiences comes from being unable to break free from the perceived expectations placed on her. The solution is to form your own expectations of yourself and try to live up to them, but many people it seems do not have the courage to do this on their own, so instead they join in with whatever the current zeitgeist says the new set of expectations on everyone should be, as if simply changing them will be their solution as well. These new expectations once they take hold, however, will simply be tomorrow's tools of oppression of the individual, no different from those that exist today. I think this ends up inevitably for many people being a very sad way to spend your life unless you happen to fit into and have the life circumstances to support fitting the model. Even if you do, you'll do so without ownership and agency in the choice of what you're going to do with your life.
- fairity 4y ago
  > This kind of unhappiness the author is experiences comes from being unable to break free from the perceived expectations placed on her. The solution is to form your own expectations of yourself and try to live up to them, but many people it seems do not have the courage to do this on their own. Mostly agree with this, but I wonder if a lack of “courage” is what’s actually preventing most from breaking free of societal values. It seems more like a lack of introspection and discipline. Introspection to identify the root cause of dissatisfaction, and discipline to retrain your mind.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
kaashif 4y ago
Even if you don't think it's true that "spawning" is an achievement in and of itself, I think it benefits you that others do "spawn". If you society discouraged having children strongly enough, it would collapse. An aged population with no workers or innovators isn't a recipe for success. This is a literal response to your question as to why it's good that people think reproducing is an achievement, I'm not talking about whether it actually is or isn't.
42e6e8c8-f7b8-4 4y ago
Why would we brainwash people into thinking they amount to something just because they make moaaaar widgets?