4 ms·

Same for me. Even as Ive tried to gain weight, my weight barely budged. 150-155 for at least the last 10 years. I have obese (300lb+) friends and they insist th

Same for me. Even as Ive tried to gain weight, my weight barely budged. 150-155 for at least the last 10 years. I have obese (300lb+) friends and they insist they don’t eat that much more than me. Except they do. We go out to eat, we stop eating after about 5-10 min. I’m full and done. They burp a couple times, then proceed to keep eating, smothering everything in Mayo and bbq sauce. Then they get insane desserts. And maybe 3-4 sodas in one meal on top of that. I do feel bad for them though, since it looks like that’s really what it takes to satiate their hunger. I could not physically eat that much even if I wanted to though. Another strange thing about my body (if anyone cares, curious if anyone else has the same thing) is that I don’t burp, ever. I think the air I swallow while eating forms a bubble in my stomach that makes me feel full sooner and prevents overeating.

MichaelCollins 4y ago
Overeating is the root of it. It's popular to deny this and come up with other excuses; normally when I'm with somebody making those excuses for themselves I don't dispute any of it (because it's not worth the social capital I'd expend in doing so.) But what really ticks me off is when somebody offers those lame excuses up for my obesity. I'm not big boned, there's not something wrong with my metabolism, I don't have a glandular disorder. They think they're doing me some sort of favor, telling me that my obesity is not my fault. But none of that stuff is true and encouraging me to lie to myself is cruel, not kind. I have a binge eating problem. It's that simple. If I examine my own diet with a dispassionate eye, it's obvious that I eat enough for two men and weigh as much as two men. There is no mystery to obesity, only ego-clouded judgement and denial.
- jliptzin 4y ago
  It’s good you are honest with yourself about it. Unfortunately I don’t know what the solution is, if you find one let me know so I can pass on to my friends. I binge eat too; it’s just doesn’t take that much to get me full. If I had to eat more to feel full, I’d be fat too. Very few people have the willpower to stop eating while still hungry and with food in front of them.
  - nradov 4y ago
    Similar to substance abuse problems, people with overeating issues often have to "hit rock bottom" in order to gain sufficient motivation and discipline to sustain a permanent behavior change. This often takes the form of a serious medical crisis, or losing a valued personal relationship.
    - rmoriz 4y ago
      Why people develop an addiction? The way to overcome is to understand why you became addicted. Every obese person I know has a cause that triggered them into overeating.
    - matthewdgreen 4y ago
      Alternatively you could go on an FDA-approved medication like Wegovy that completely changes your appetite. That would at least tell if you if this is a physical issue or an emotional one.
      - nradov 4y ago
        Medication can be a good option for some patients. SGLT2 inhibitors have also been shown to work pretty well. But all medicines have risks and side effects so they should be used only if behavior modification has consistently failed. And someone who relies on medicine to lose weight will likely have to stay on as least a low dose permanently for maintenance.
- Aloha 4y ago
  The 'it's all my fault' attitude isn't really helpful for you to solve those problems however. Binge eating can be driven by a myriad of factors, mostly psychological. I'm fat too, and I'm comfortable with that word, I dont like medicalizing it with term obesity. While my weight is at least partially my own fault, its at least influenced by factors outside of my control - upbringing, genetics, societal factors, and an endocrine disorder too. I've concluded that being fat is a result of Type II diabetes rather than a cause - and there is growing science to back me up - a good example of this, my liver dumps glucose into my system, without meds I can fast for a nearly indefinite period of time without my blood sugar falling off.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - MichaelCollins 4y ago
    Whether or not the realization that overeating is my problem helps me solve the problem is orthogonal to whether or not it's true. It is objectively true that I overeat. In my case, I believe I overeat because I have poor impulse control and I enjoy both the act of eating and the sensation of being stuffed with food. Furthermore I particularly enjoy greasy and carby foods, pizza particularly. If I ate less (or stuffed myself with plant fiber instead of pizza grease) I am certain that I would lose weight. Do I have the motivation and conviction to follow through with that? Past performance says no. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm overeating. It's not an attitude, it's reality.
    - Aloha 4y ago
      The additional shame I suspect you feel about your eating habits, likely leads you to binge eat more however - thats my larger point, it creates a negative feelings cycle that makes the problem worse. You probably binge eat to plug an emotional or stress hole, its literally a form of self medicating. Thats not something that willpower or blaming yourself can solve.
      - MichaelCollins 4y ago
Aloha 4y ago
I'm fat (I see no shame in this word), my partner is not - she and I will order the same food, I clean my plate (starving children in africa related childhood trauma, I guess), she will often eat half of hers and leave the rest - she drinks the regular soda, and I have water, diet soda or unsweet iced tea. I can't speak to your friends, but there is no universal truth here - I know a bunch of fat people, and none of them 'drown them in bbq sauce and mayo' - most of the thin people in my life and fat people in my life end up eating 'around' the same amount of food, but the thin people are physically often much more active.
- andreareina 4y ago
  NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis) is a huge confounder. Differences in fidgeting, walking around etc really add up.
  - borroka 4y ago
    They do. Working from home and working from office can easily make 3-500 calories of difference. Walking, calling, standing up, more energy expended in general. But also calories from modern food add up quickly. Say two men weighing 200 pounds, same activity levels. If man A eats "at maintenance" and man B eats at maintenance + small fries + small cookie + non-diet soda + apple, at the end of the day man A and B may not feel any difference in terms of "fullness" and "hunger", but man B is easily eating 800+ kcal a day than man A. Over months, I expect man B to get north of 20 pounds on man A. But I can see man B say to A, "I am not eating much more than you, just a little cookie here and there".
gcanyon 4y ago
I didn’t burp until my late teens. Since then I burp typically as far as I know.
xhr_2 4y ago
Check out /r/noburp. I couldn't burp for most of my life until I taught myself.
- jliptzin 4y ago
  Interesting thx
neal_jones 4y ago
Yea, I’ve been told I have a “fast metabolism” but I’m inclined to not eating for 15-20hr stretches and but (different from yourself) when eating out I’ll can sometimes eat thousands of calories. People will say it’s not fair but the part they don’t see is that I could easily be in a caloric deficit for a week or two
treeman79 4y ago
I’ve found that eating a small amount will drastically up my hunger. So I’ll easily consume a huge meal. But if I eat a small small amount, wait 30 minutes the hunger fades and I will feel full. So basically a 30 minute delay between being full and feeling full. That’s a huge window for a lot of calories.
hiddenwaffle 4y ago
Same for me with the burping. I don't even know how to force one. Instead I just feel bloated and miserable for an hour or two, so it's an incentive to not eat much or drink anything carbonated.
- jliptzin 4y ago
  I can only have a couple of beers/sodas at once otherwise I get too bloated. I consider it a feature not a bug, better to not be pounding the beers and sodas anyway.

MichaelCollins 4y ago

Overeating is the root of it. It's popular to deny this and come up with other excuses; normally when I'm with somebody making those excuses for themselves I don't dispute any of it (because it's not worth the social capital I'd expend in doing so.) But what really ticks me off is when somebody offers those lame excuses up for my obesity. I'm not big boned, there's not something wrong with my metabolism, I don't have a glandular disorder. They think they're doing me some sort of favor, telling me that my obesity is not my fault. But none of that stuff is true and encouraging me to lie to myself is cruel, not kind. I have a binge eating problem. It's that simple. If I examine my own diet with a dispassionate eye, it's obvious that I eat enough for two men and weigh as much as two men. There is no mystery to obesity, only ego-clouded judgement and denial.

jliptzin 4y ago
It’s good you are honest with yourself about it. Unfortunately I don’t know what the solution is, if you find one let me know so I can pass on to my friends. I binge eat too; it’s just doesn’t take that much to get me full. If I had to eat more to feel full, I’d be fat too. Very few people have the willpower to stop eating while still hungry and with food in front of them.
- nradov 4y ago
  Similar to substance abuse problems, people with overeating issues often have to "hit rock bottom" in order to gain sufficient motivation and discipline to sustain a permanent behavior change. This often takes the form of a serious medical crisis, or losing a valued personal relationship.
  - rmoriz 4y ago
    Why people develop an addiction? The way to overcome is to understand why you became addicted. Every obese person I know has a cause that triggered them into overeating.
  - matthewdgreen 4y ago
    Alternatively you could go on an FDA-approved medication like Wegovy that completely changes your appetite. That would at least tell if you if this is a physical issue or an emotional one.
    - nradov 4y ago
      Medication can be a good option for some patients. SGLT2 inhibitors have also been shown to work pretty well. But all medicines have risks and side effects so they should be used only if behavior modification has consistently failed. And someone who relies on medicine to lose weight will likely have to stay on as least a low dose permanently for maintenance.
Aloha 4y ago
The 'it's all my fault' attitude isn't really helpful for you to solve those problems however. Binge eating can be driven by a myriad of factors, mostly psychological. I'm fat too, and I'm comfortable with that word, I dont like medicalizing it with term obesity. While my weight is at least partially my own fault, its at least influenced by factors outside of my control - upbringing, genetics, societal factors, and an endocrine disorder too. I've concluded that being fat is a result of Type II diabetes rather than a cause - and there is growing science to back me up - a good example of this, my liver dumps glucose into my system, without meds I can fast for a nearly indefinite period of time without my blood sugar falling off.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- MichaelCollins 4y ago
  Whether or not the realization that overeating is my problem helps me solve the problem is orthogonal to whether or not it's true. It is objectively true that I overeat. In my case, I believe I overeat because I have poor impulse control and I enjoy both the act of eating and the sensation of being stuffed with food. Furthermore I particularly enjoy greasy and carby foods, pizza particularly. If I ate less (or stuffed myself with plant fiber instead of pizza grease) I am certain that I would lose weight. Do I have the motivation and conviction to follow through with that? Past performance says no. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm overeating. It's not an attitude, it's reality.
  - Aloha 4y ago
    The additional shame I suspect you feel about your eating habits, likely leads you to binge eat more however - thats my larger point, it creates a negative feelings cycle that makes the problem worse. You probably binge eat to plug an emotional or stress hole, its literally a form of self medicating. Thats not something that willpower or blaming yourself can solve.
    - MichaelCollins 4y ago

Aloha 4y ago

I'm fat (I see no shame in this word), my partner is not - she and I will order the same food, I clean my plate (starving children in africa related childhood trauma, I guess), she will often eat half of hers and leave the rest - she drinks the regular soda, and I have water, diet soda or unsweet iced tea. I can't speak to your friends, but there is no universal truth here - I know a bunch of fat people, and none of them 'drown them in bbq sauce and mayo' - most of the thin people in my life and fat people in my life end up eating 'around' the same amount of food, but the thin people are physically often much more active.

andreareina 4y ago
NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis) is a huge confounder. Differences in fidgeting, walking around etc really add up.
- borroka 4y ago
  They do. Working from home and working from office can easily make 3-500 calories of difference. Walking, calling, standing up, more energy expended in general. But also calories from modern food add up quickly. Say two men weighing 200 pounds, same activity levels. If man A eats "at maintenance" and man B eats at maintenance + small fries + small cookie + non-diet soda + apple, at the end of the day man A and B may not feel any difference in terms of "fullness" and "hunger", but man B is easily eating 800+ kcal a day than man A. Over months, I expect man B to get north of 20 pounds on man A. But I can see man B say to A, "I am not eating much more than you, just a little cookie here and there".

gcanyon 4y ago

I didn’t burp until my late teens. Since then I burp typically as far as I know.

xhr_2 4y ago

Check out /r/noburp. I couldn't burp for most of my life until I taught myself.

jliptzin 4y ago
Interesting thx

neal_jones 4y ago

Yea, I’ve been told I have a “fast metabolism” but I’m inclined to not eating for 15-20hr stretches and but (different from yourself) when eating out I’ll can sometimes eat thousands of calories. People will say it’s not fair but the part they don’t see is that I could easily be in a caloric deficit for a week or two

treeman79 4y ago

I’ve found that eating a small amount will drastically up my hunger. So I’ll easily consume a huge meal. But if I eat a small small amount, wait 30 minutes the hunger fades and I will feel full. So basically a 30 minute delay between being full and feeling full. That’s a huge window for a lot of calories.

hiddenwaffle 4y ago

Same for me with the burping. I don't even know how to force one. Instead I just feel bloated and miserable for an hour or two, so it's an incentive to not eat much or drink anything carbonated.

jliptzin 4y ago
I can only have a couple of beers/sodas at once otherwise I get too bloated. I consider it a feature not a bug, better to not be pounding the beers and sodas anyway.